“Want another?” Larry asked, as I put my glass down.
“Nah, I have to head out to meet up with Sawyer.”
I gave Axel a slap on the back, and was not even a foot out the door before Trista was in my face.
“You swore you knew what you were talking about. I knew we couldn’t fucking trust her. But I listened to you. And you were too blinded by her perky little tits.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I growled.
“Your little girlfriend is talking to the Feds.”
“Sawyer?”
She threw her hands up. “Who the fuck else would I be talking about? Yeah, Sawyer. Blaze saw her talking to Velasquez earlier today.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“Well she did,” she huffed.
“How can Blaze even be so sure it was Sawyer?”
“He was tailing her.”
Anger raged inside, and fire burned in my eyes. “Why the fuck was he tailing her?” I demanded.
“I told him to,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“What the fuck, Trista? I told you to stay out of it. To leave Sawyer the hell alone. So, you put a tail on her? Is there any boundary you won’t cross?” I screamed, and my voice echoed across the dark parking lot.
Trista tilted her head up, arrogance dominating her stance. “I do what’s right for the club. You’re too fucking lovesick to take a step back and look at the facts. She left you, Ryder. Fucking abandoned you. Shows up when shit starts going down, and Feds start all but knockin’ on our doors. It doesn’t take a fucking idiot to realize she’s one of them.”
I shook my head, clenching my fists, refusing to believe it. Refusing to think for even a second that Sawyer was capable of such betrayal. My teeth grinded against each other, and the anger continued to build. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” I sneered.
“Is that why you’re so mad? Or is it because you know as well as I do that I’m right?” Trista said and walked away, leaving me with a million unanswered questions.
My phone rang, and I pulled it out of my pocket. Sawyer’s name flashed across the screen, and I swiped to reject the call. She called right back, and I turned the volume off, sliding my phone back into my pocket.
Trista’s words bounced around in my head. You’re too fucking lovesick to take a step back and look at the facts. Maybe she was right. Since the minute Sawyer walked back into my life, I’d been caught up and consumed by her. By our past. Wanting to make up for lost time. I never gave myself the chance to think, that just maybe, she was playing me for a fool, and getting the revenge on the club she always wanted for losing her dad to the slammer.
I hopped on my bike, and headed into the night, with a half a tank of gas and too much shit on my mind.
SEVEN
Sawyer
It had been an hour since Ryder asked me to meet him at his place. He said twenty minutes. Where the fuck was he? I called his cell, but it kept going to voicemail.
Fear and panic filled my gut as I got back in my car and drove to Raven’s Nest. I pulled in, and headed right inside. I scanned the bar, and Ryder was nowhere to be found. That skank who seriously needed to get a damn life was staring me down. I ignored her, and sat at the bar.
Larry was nowhere to be found either, and I was hoping he’d appear soon, so I could ask him if he’d seen Ryder, and get the hell out of here.
The only MC member I saw was Rocco, and that guy just rubbed me the wrong way. I glanced over my shoulder at him, and fuck. He noticed, and took it as his invitation to approach me.
“Hey, sweet cheeks,” he said as he plopped his ass uncomfortably close to me. He reeked of whiskey and stale cigarettes.
“Hi,” I forced out.
“What brings you in here today?” He ran his finger down my arm, and I snapped it away from him, giving him the death stare.
“I’m looking for Ryder. Have you seen him?”
“No, but you don’t need him for a good time, now do you?”
I was Ryder’s girl, and this guy really didn’t give a shit. To me, that made him more dangerous than any of them. “Excuse me. I think I just threw up in my mouth,” I said, and took off before he could open his disgusting mouth again.
On the way home, I passed a scenic overlook, and saw a bike parked against the railing. Ryder and I used to come up here years ago when we didn’t have a place to go to be alone.
I knew it was his bike before I even pulled up beside it. I put my car in park, and stepped out, following the sandy trail until I reached a hidden nook that couldn’t be seen from the street.
The moon glistened across the surface of the Pacific Ocean, making it appear to twinkle as the waves rolled in and out. I remembered the last time Ryder and I were here together. It was a couple months before I took off. It was the best night of my life, having sex beneath a blanket of stars with the man I would marry.
We had our whole lives ahead of us, and, in that moment, I truly believed in happily ever afters. Ryder had been my fairy tale come to life, but then everything changed, and things happened that couldn’t be taken back.
I tried to forget him. Tried to move on with my life, but every guy I dated in New York was only a reminder of the guy I left behind.
I stepped around the bend, and found Ryder looking out over the ocean, the moonlight surrounding him, and highlighting his muscular frame and silky hair.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. He didn’t even flinch, just laying there as he took the last drag of his cigarette before he flicked it into the darkness.
I didn’t notice it as I approached, but, now that I got a good look at him, I could see the debate in his eyes. His hair was a disheveled mess from running his fingers through it out of frustration probably while he was in deep thought.
“Do you remember the last time we were here?” he asked. He still didn’t look at me, keeping his focus on the ripple of the ocean beneath the moonlight.
“Yes.”
“Do you remember the promise we made each other?”
Of course I did.
We had just made love, and I was lying on his chest, running my fingers in small circles across his skin. He tightened his hold on me, and kissed the top of my head. I glanced up, and smiled when he looked at me through hooded eyes.
“Promise me something,” he had said.
“Anything.”
The look in his eyes had been desperate and pleading. “Never leave me.”
I reached up, cupping his jaw. “I promise. Besides, I couldn’t if I tried because I’ll always be right here.” I rested my other hand on his heart, and then placed it over my own. “And you’ll always be right here. Forever.”
I watched Ryder now, guilt tugging harshly at my heart. All the broken promises. The world of hurt that I knew still brewed deep beneath the surface. It was a miracle he even talked to me again, let alone had given us another chance.
“I remember,” I said.
He laced his fingers together, and rested his forehead on his knuckles. “You had me so fooled. I trusted you with my life.” He paused as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “Did you ever even love me?”
Shock punched me in the gut, and strangled my words, but I managed to get them out. “What are you talking about? Of course I did.”
“Maybe then, but what about now?”
“What about now?” I swiped at the tears as they escaped.
“You must have had a good laugh when you came waltzing back into town, and it took you only minutes to have me wrapped around your little finger again.” He shook his head, and his jaw ticked. “I must be a fucking idiot to fall for it again.”
“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t?” He stood up and came to me, but it wasn’t in the sweet, caring way I was used to. His body was stiff, his movements even more so. “Everyone told me you were one of them, but I refused to believe it. Not my Sawyer, I said. She would neve
r. I’m a fucking fool.”
“I would never what?” His incoherency was getting on my last nerve. He wasn’t making any sense, and I couldn’t figure out what changed from his phone call to now.
“Become one of them. Sell the club out.”
I took an apprehensive step toward him, but stopped when I saw the hate in his eyes. “One of who? Talk to me. Stop beating around the fucking bush, and spit it out already.”
“You’re a fucking rat,” he spat out, jabbing his finger in my face. “I defended you. Trusted you. And you’re working with the goddamned Feds.”
I stepped back, feeling like I got punched in the gut. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, don’t go playing dumb. Blaze saw you talking to Velasquez.”
I froze. I was hoping to brush that Velasquez thing under the carpet. Avoid him, and hope he’d go away. Maybe Ryder thinking I was working with them was better. He’d never forgive me, but, then again, he’d never find out the truth.
I spent the past five years hiding and doing everything in my power to keep my secret. Maybe this was my out. If Ryder thought I was working with the Feds, he’d never speak to me again. He’d never come looking for me, and everything I had done until this point to ensure certain things stayed hidden would finally be enough.
The words were on my lips to confirm the lie, to seal the final nail in the coffin of us. No. I was sick of running. Sick of hiding. Sick of pretending to be someone I wasn’t. And I’d be damned if I let Velasquez push me away from my home. This time, I wasn’t leaving.
“Ryder,” I reached out, resting my hand on his bicep. “I’m s…”
He flung my hand off of him. “Don’t fucking apologize to me.”
“Can you shut up for three goddamned seconds and let me talk?”
“Why? So you can tell me more lies? Forget it. I’m done.” He pushed past me, and, this time, I grabbed his arm, and didn’t let go.
“You stubborn son of a bitch.” I yanked him around, and he grinded his teeth, but I knew, no matter how much he despised me, he’d never be able to bring himself to physically hurt me.
“Get your hands off of me,” he growled.
“Not until you listen to me. I just sat here while you accused me of betraying you. I think I deserve a chance to speak.”
He ripped away from my grasp, and crossed his arms, his muscles taut against his t-shirt. “Everything that comes out of your mouth is a goddamned lie.”
“That’s not true. I didn’t lie to you when I told you the reason I never said goodbye. I didn’t lie to you when I told you I loved you. And I’m not lying to you right now when I say that you’re the reason I’m still here. The reason I can’t seem to go back to New York and back to the life I left behind there. My mom’s getting stronger every day. She has Cruz and you guys who check in on her. I don’t need to be here anymore. But I am because I can’t imagine waking up in the morning and being on the opposite side of the country away from you…because right now…I hate waking up in bed, and not having you next to me. Even though I know you’re only ten minutes away, it’s not enough. I want you there with me. Every night. Every morning. And that’s the God’s honest truth. I’m not a rat. For you to even think that…” Tears slipped down my cheek, and I choked on my words, but I found the strength to continue. “It breaks me, right here.” I pressed my hand to my heart. “I always blamed the club for destroying my family, but now I realize, it wasn’t them. It never was. It was me. I left and I destroyed everything.”
He didn’t come to me, but he dropped his arms to his side, and I could tell he was listening.
“Velasquez was trying to get me to talk, but I refused. I might have left, but I still honor the code. Always.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
I walked over to him, and took his face into my hands. “You once told me you could tell exactly what I was thinking, just by looking into my eyes. So, you tell me. Am I telling the truth?”
His beautiful grey eyes bore into mine. He reached up, cupping my jaw, and I nuzzled against his touch. He continued to stare at me as his thumb began to lovingly stroke my cheek.
“What do you see?” I whispered against his hand.
He didn’t answer with words. Instead, he crushed his mouth to mine, and yanked me hard against him. Relief flooded through me, and I parted my lips, wanting so desperately to feel his tongue against mine. We met in a slick dance in the middle, matching each other thrust for thrust.
Ryder pulled away, and rested his forehead on mine. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Just kiss me.” I pulled him back to me.
His hands pushed under my top, and his fingers slid under my bra, finding my nipple. He rolled it into a tight peak as he tore his mouth from mine, and dragged a flaming trail of kisses down my neck.
“Off,” his voice rumbled, tugging at my shirt.
I held my arms up, and let him lift the material over my head. He dropped it to the ground, and then unhooked my bra, peeling the cups away from me one by one. He dipped his head, and took my nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping, causing pain and pleasure to mix in a deliciously lethal combination.
I flung my head back, pushing into his mouth. My fingers laced themselves in his hair, and I held him in place as he swirled his tongue in clever circles. Heat raced to my core as he reached his hand up to my other breast and began to roll my nipple between his fingers while he continued his luscious assault on the other.
A moan fell from my lips as he dragged his tongue up my chest, and across my collarbone to my neck. He sucked at the sensitive skin, making his way to my earlobe. “I need to be inside of you right now.” He nipped my ear, and then made his way back to my lips.
His hands dug into my ass, and he lifted me off the ground easily, as if I was weightless. I wrapped my legs around him as he lowered us to the ground. Gently, he rested me on the sand, and brushed the stray blonde strands off my face.
He stared down at me, his beautiful grey eyes telling me what I knew from the minute we walked back into each other’s lives: I could never leave him again.
I grabbed his face, and pressed my lips to his, savoring the familiar taste of tobacco and mint, never wanting to forget it.
He reached for the hem of his shirt, and pulled it off in one fluid move. His muscles were taut as he held himself above me. I reached up, running my hands along the hard ridges. I followed them down to the perfect V, and began to unbuckle his pants.
“Make love to me,” I pleaded, tossing his belt to the side, and pushing his pants down. His throbbing cock, slick with precum, glistened in the moonlight. “Make love to me, and show me how much you love me.”
“Baby, if I do that, you won’t be able to walk for a week.”
I crawled my fingers up his chest, and rested my hand on his face. “Show me,” I begged.
A carnal growl ripped from his throat as he tore my pants off and dove into me. I screamed out with him as he pumped into me with relentless thrusts.
My tits bounced with each forceful drive, and he bent his head, devouring them one by one with his mouth, licking and sucking until the intensity had me clawing at the ground.
He slowed his pace to a steady rock, sliding in and out of me with skilled precision. He searched my eyes, and I cupped his cheek. “Kiss me,” I pleaded.
He obeyed, capturing my mouth with his, soaking up my moans as he circled my clit with his finger. I arched up in order to shift the angle, letting me take him in completely.
“Oh God, baby you’re so deep,” I moaned, my voice quivering with pleasure and emotion as his heavy balls slapped my ass.
“Roll over,” he growled. “I want you on your hands and knees.”
I loved when he told me what to do, so when he slipped out, I complied. His hand wrapped around my waist, and pulled me back into him. His hands roamed my body, and he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the middle of my back.
I reached back, wrapping my hand around his shaf
t, and guiding him into my slick center. He pushed into me in one quick, deep thrust and we both cried out. His hands grabbed my tits, pulling me up into him as his lips kissed my neck, and trailed his tongue along my shoulder.
“I want you to come for me,” he panted against my ear. He raked his finger across my clit before zeroing in on it, and rubbing the swollen nub over and over, until I was teetering on the edge. My head spun as his hot breath skated across my heated skin. “Come for me,” he demanded, and with one delectable touch, my body convulsed against him as pleasure consumed me. “That’s right, baby.”
He pulsed inside of me, the muscles in my swollen pussy gripping him tight, as he slowed his pace. My body went limp against him, and he held me tight to him, kissing and sucking every inch of skin he could reach. I moaned, and he bent me forward before he began to pound into me once again.
The intensity had me crying out and digging my nails into the sand. One thrust after another, never letting up, never slowing, driving me higher and higher as white stars exploded in my eyes.
“Fuck!” Ryder called out as his hand tightened on my waist. He drove into me one final time, spilling his hot seed deep inside me.
He pulled out, and lay down beside me, each of us panting heavily to try to catch our breaths. “Come here,” he said, and I cuddled into him, running my fingers up and down his side.
“I love you.” He kissed my forehead.
“I love you, too.”
I took him in then, raking my eyes over his body, studying every inch of him. Finally looking at the new ink on his skin.
He had a list of names going up his rib cage.
Jerry Monroe (his father)
Stephen Taylor
Charles "Chains" Johnson
Sawyer Lennox
Paul "Pretty Boy" Stype
“You have my name tattooed on you?” I couldn’t believe I’ve never noticed it before. Always too consumed in the passion, never admiring the markings that make up who he is. Wait a minute. I thought about the names. Jerry was killed. Stephen died before I left and so did Chains. I didn’t know Pretty Boy, but the pattern spoke for itself. Why was I on this list?
Brazen (Motorcycle Club Romance): Ryder and Sawyer 2 (Fallen Idols Motorcycle Club Book 6) Page 3
