Adam’s Boys

by Anna Clifton

  Trailing his fingers through her hair, he devoured her with his eyes. Meanwhile, his other hand had dropped to enclose her waist. And even though his haunted intensity frightened her, Abbie was hypnotised by his vivid reliving of the night they’d met. The night he’d taken that fateful step as they’d waited for the lift outside Justin’s apartment, when he’d kissed her with an intensity that both terrified and thrilled her—the night, as he said, he’d become monstrous.

  “I’ll never really understand what happened between us,” he murmured wistfully, the pain like a ball and chain in his voice as he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “But you were so incredibly vibrant and full of life; I’d been around sadness and loss for so long you were like a lightning strike to my senses. But when I got back to the UK it was as though I woke up from a dream. The guilt about what I’d done to Ellen … God, it was unbearable. And turning my back on my three-month-old son for three weeks is something I’ll never forgive myself for. So I made the decision to wipe you out of my life and forget about you, and yet …” Adam stopped and swallowed hard.

  “And yet what?” Abbie prompted, unable to tear her eyes from his hypnotic gaze.

  “And yet I don’t know that I could have kept going if I hadn’t met you.”

  “Why are you punishing yourself?” Abbie implored in quiet misery. She hated what he was doing to himself—hated what he was doing to her. “It was as much my fault as yours. I knew you were a mess—I should have stopped it happening. It was a terrible mistake.”

  But if Adam was listening, he wasn’t showing it. Instead his thumb was trailing across her lips. And despite the measured finality of her words, her body was reacting as though there were only new beginnings.

  “Adam, don’t do this,” Abbie begged in a feeble attempt to halt the locomotive of attraction that was thundering inevitably towards them. But her words died in a sigh, spirited away by his fingertips now trailing gently along the line of her jaw.

  “I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted you that night,” he leant in to whisper in her ear, his unshaven cheek rough against hers. “I felt it the moment you walked through the front door of Justin’s apartment. You felt the same about me, didn’t you?”

  She nodded helplessly, drunk from his touch, unable to speak as his mouth trailed around to hover within millimetres of her own, his warm breath like a kiss on her cheek.

  And then it happened.

  His lips moved across hers with the gentlest of brush strokes in a tentative journey of sensation that detonated tiny explosions of feeling in its wake.

  Abbie couldn’t have moved if she’d tried.

  In fact, she was powerless to do anything but let him explore her own quiet, still mouth with that inexorable resolve of his that unnerved her most of the time. But with that gentle search ending almost as quickly as it had begun, the pressure of his kiss increased and she yielded willingly, his hips suddenly heavy against hers as her whole body began to tremble and ache for more.

  With no resistance offered, Adam released a disembodied groan and explored the warm depths of her mouth, his hands burying themselves in her hair to cradle her head possessively so that he could deepen his kiss. And she was responding too, straightening and slipping her arms around his waist.

  But then the journey was over and his mouth had broken from hers.

  “It wasn’t a mistake,” he murmured, his voice gruff, his chest heaving. “No matter how we feel about each other now, Henry was not a mistake.”

  But as Adam leant in to seize her mouth again, Abbie shifted her head to one side and shuddered.

  ‘No matter how we feel about each other now.’

  Those words had shattered the moment with all the gentleness of a bomb blast, and Abbie didn’t like the eerie, smoking ruin of truth in its wake.

  For Adam wasn’t making love to the woman she was now; the woman he looked upon as little more than a tenuous mother figure to his boys. He was making love to a woman who’d caught him up in her web of attraction all those years ago.

  If Abbie had ever wondered what she wanted from Adam, it was right then that she knew what he was offering her that night would never be enough.

  Slipping her arms from around his waist, she moved her hands to rest on his chest and began to push him away.

  “What are you doing?” he rasped, instinctively resisting the force behind her touch.

  “Going home, where I should have gone five minutes ago before all of this started.”

  “What do you mean, ‘all of this’?”

  “This trip down memory lane,” Abbie retorted in wounded mortification. “You and I both know that’s all it is. Other than Henry, there’s nothing between us now.”

  Shock froze like sheet ice across Adam’s features as he absorbed Abbie’s straight-from-the-shoulder attack. But then he was dropping his hands from her head and taking a step back.

  “You’re right,” he agreed, instantly claiming back the arctic mantle he threw around himself so easily. “The only reason we’re here tonight is because of the boys. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll walk you home now—and I’ll see you and Henry and every single thing you own on Saturday,” he added almost menacingly.

  “There’s no need to walk me anywhere,” she shot back as his passionless withdrawal stunned her like a childhood tumble in the playground. “I can look after myself. I don’t need help from you or any man—I never have and I damn well never will!”

  Abbie moved out from her position between Adam and the wall and walked into the kitchen to retrieve the track pants from the range hood. Swallowing a rising sob of disappointment about how things were turning out between them, she pulled them up around her waist and clutched them in front of her. Seconds later she was striding past Adam who was still waiting in the hallway—grave, motionless and silent, and with no intention of stopping her from walking out his front door and into the night.

  Chapter Six

  “I have no problem walking down to this dinner with you, Justin, so long as you promise you won’t ask me about Abbie—not once.”

  Justin grinned at Adam in that non-committal way of his and slapped him on the back. “Of course not,” he replied easily and shrugged his coat more comfortably onto his shoulders. “I just thought it would be a good opportunity to catch up. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you much lately.”

  Adam thrust his hands into his pockets and slowed down his stride. He began to relax a little because for February, it was a pretty mild day.

  He was grateful to be outside for a while in Sydney’s busy city streets, away from the pressures of his office and away from his house which when he’d last looked had been littered with toys, toast crusts, apple cores and half unpacked boxes.

  God, what a morning!

  The first problem was that Abbie had forgotten to get milk—apparently essential for Henry’s cereal. That had resulted in a run up to the nearest convenience store at six o’clock. Then they couldn’t find Pete’s uniform in all the mess. Abbie had tried to convince Pete to wear a spare of Henry’s but it was no good. Henry’s pants were too long and Pete was certain the kids would make fun of him. In the end she’d miraculously found some hemming tape in one of the boxes and had set to shortening Henry’s pants for Pete, fifteen minutes before school was due to start.

  The problem was that both the boys were exhausted and ratty. In fact, they were all exhausted and ratty. And why wouldn’t they be? It had been a huge weekend on any view of it. For how often did you break the news to two little boys that they were brothers? And how often did you tell a three-year-old he had a father after all?

  “So what’s new?” Justin enquired chattily as he fell into step next to him.

  Adam threw a look at his best mate and gave him a wry smirk.

  “What’s new? My temp typed ‘commercial incompetence’ instead of ‘commercial in confidence’ in the subject line of one of my letters today,” Adam offered benignly.

 
Justin laughed in disbelief. “Did you catch it before it went out?”

  “Only just,” Adam admitted with a dry laugh in return. “But it was a little too close for comfort.”

  “I agree. But it makes you wonder how many mistakes get out that we don’t pick up and which the clients don’t bother mentioning to us.”

  “I don’t want to think about it,” Adam replied decidedly. “You’re lucky you have Roberta to back you up.”

  “Yes, thank God,” Justin breathed in relief. “Not only does she not make any of her own mistakes, she picks up mine.”

  “I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you’ll get her to agree to move to the UK and work for me there,” Adam proposed with a grin.

  “No way,” Justin replied immediately. “Anyway, she’ll never leave me.”

  “Better the devil she knows, eh?”

  “Nope. HR’s promised Robbie a pay rise if she’ll stay with me. Apparently she’s the only PA in the firm who’s prepared to put up with my untidy office. Anyway, how are your new boarders?” Justin asked with feigned innocence.

  “You promised you wouldn’t ask about them.”

  “I lied.”

  Adam grimaced. There was no way Justin was going to pass up an opportunity to grill him.

  “Abbie and Henry are fine, but it’s going to take some time to settle in.”

  “No doubt, particularly as you hardly know Abbie—except in the Biblical sense of course,” Justin couldn’t resist adding.

  “Yes, thanks for reminding me. And we still haven’t started to get to know one another, not really,” Adam admitted bluntly, remembering how strained things had been between the two of them since last Monday night.

  “Do you mind if I stick my oar in here?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “No. Because someone’s got to point out that you are the guy who never acts impulsively. Every decision I’ve known you to make has always followed full consideration of all the pros and cons.”

  “No decision I’ve made involving Abbie has been impulsive. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

  But Adam knew that wasn’t entirely true.

  It had been pure impulse to touch her the other night. And there hadn’t been any rational thought before he kissed her either.

  One minute he was fully focused on Pete and continuing to believe he could keep Abbie boxed up in the attic of his life, and the next he couldn’t keep his hands off her.

  What the hell was that all about?

  “Be careful. That’s all I’m saying. You two have been muddling along on your own for a long time. Moving in together is a very big step. As far as I’m aware, Abbie’s never taken anything beyond a few dates with any guy. I’ve known her for six years and believe me, she’s not the Wonder Woman everyone thinks she is. Now that you’ve crashed into her life and turned it upside down …”

  “Me, crashed into her life!” Adam interjected. “She’s the one who kept Henry from me all these years. I’m just trying to sort things out so that the three of us can get to know one another.”

  “I assume you mean you, Pete and Henry.”

  “Exactly.”

  But Justin didn’t answer and with a surge of indignation Adam guessed he was making his point by not answering.

  “I am taking Abbie’s interests into account!” Adam shot back in sharp response.

  “With respect, mate, it doesn’t sound like it. What the hell does Abbie think is going to come out of these living arrangements of yours? Does she even know you’re going home in a few months to become the boy wonder of UK politics? You know what? I wish JP was around; he’d soon knock sense into you,” Justin finished with an undercurrent of frustration in his voice.

  Adam didn’t answer straight away, grateful that JP McKenzie, their close mate and partner at the firm, was not around. Because Justin was right. JP would weigh in and map out twenty years of future parenting for Henry in one afternoon’s walk. But Adam knew there was a lot more at stake than JP would ever allow for. And anyway, JP was thousands of miles away, running the firm’s London office with Alex, the love of his life, by his side. Nothing was going to change those GPS coordinates, no matter how much Justin might wish it otherwise.

  “I haven’t told Abbie about my career change yet,” Adam explained. “But she must realise that I can’t make my home here,” he added quickly, dismissing the uncomfortable feelings that were plaguing him as he tried to articulate his situation to Justin. “Anyway, it’s true that events have gotten away from me a bit, what with breaking the news to the boys and Maeve. But I’ll sort things out with Abbie, one way or the other.”

  Justin snorted dismissively. “Listen, I probably know her as well as anyone so let me give you a word of advice[5] : no one sorts anything out with Abbie unless Abbie wants them to be sorted out. And you’re making things worse by using her to play at happy families. I don’t know what’s gotten into you. You’re normally so sensible but this time you’re playing with fire—someone’s going to get hurt.”

  And Adam knew Justin was right. He was playing with fire. But he’d been so focused on sorting Pete out, he’d been totally unprepared to deal with the other spot fires that had popped up out of nowhere, particularly the restlessness that was taking hold of him whenever he was near Abbie. Because suddenly she was feeling a lot less like ancient history and a lot more like current affairs—ever since last Monday night.

  ‘Goddamn last Monday night!’ he cursed silently before turning back to Justin. “I have no choice,” he explained with a heavy sigh. “I can’t stay in Australia permanently, so my plan is to take them all to the UK and make Abbie see that Pete and Henry’s future lies there, not here.”

  Justin laughed in sceptical[6] disdain. “She’ll never agree to it. Her home is here. You know her family life as a little girl was a complete disaster. This life she’s built with Maeve and Henry, it’s where she gets her strength—it’s everything to her. Don’t get me wrong. I know Henry is as much yours as hers. And I know you’re a Cooper with a Westminster pedigree behind you. I also know you’ve got a family estate to run and a political party that wants you back. But the fact is, that’s your life—not hers—even if you are going to be Britain’s next Prime Minister,” Justin added with a laugh.

  “Very funny,” Adam replied, letting out another rough sigh. “I’ll be honest though, this hasn’t been easy on either of us. As for Henry, although he seems to have accepted the news, he’s been like a church mouse over the last few days. Now I’m not sure he’s going to accept me into his life as easily as I’d first thought. In fact, Pete’s the only one who seems completely content— he’s over the moon to have a brother.”

  “I’m glad Pete’s taken it so well, but if you and Abbie aren’t happy, then it will only be a matter of time before both the boys start to go downhill.”

  And although he tried not to, Adam was still mulling over Justin’s advice about Abbie when he let himself through his front door six long hours later. With the dinner ending after eleven, he wasn’t surprised to find his house in quiet darkness. A quick survey of the downstairs rooms revealed Abbie had been hard at work all evening, for his home was pristine.

  School bags were lined up. Uniforms were spread out over the backs of the lounge chairs ready for a quick dressing session in the morning. School lunches were made and in the fridge. And he had no idea where she’d stowed all the packing boxes but they were gone too. There was not a single thing out of place.

  He ditched his shoes and walked quietly up the stairs and into Henry’s room first. His younger son was flat out on his back with both arms splayed across the bed, his mouth open as he breathed heavily in peaceful slumber. Adam leant over to run his hand over his fair hair and kiss his warm cheek, reeling yet again at the gift of this beautiful child before making his way into his elder son’s room. But as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see that the bed was empty. Adam wondered whether Pete had stumbled into his own room, but he wasn�
��t in there either—he had to be with Abbie.

  The moment Adam walked into her room he could see in the clear but fragile moonlight shining through her window that there were two sleeping figures in her bed. He stopped and watched them both, guessing that one of Pete’s nightmares had woken him up and he’d gone in search of an understanding adult to comfort him.

  And with a powerful surge of gratitude—and several other feelings he couldn’t decipher right at that moment—Adam sat down next to Abbie on the bed.

  He wished she’d wake up.

  He desperately wanted to talk to her tonight, because although he’d dismissed Justin’s counsel to his face, it had troubled him for the rest of the evening. He was now thinking his mate might be right.

  He should have told Abbie about his rock-solid commitment to go back to the UK at the end of May. And although he’d been on the verge of telling her several times, something had always held him back—the feeling that his news might become the time bomb on their whole ‘happy families’ charade, as Justin had called it.

  At last she stirred and rolled onto her back. Her long hair was strewn across the white pillowslip and her skin looked like alabaster in the moonlight against her pale pink satin nightdress. Lifting her dark lashes, she revealed two pools of unreadable darkness.

  “Hi,” she said tentatively.

  They hadn’t spoken beyond necessity since their blow-up last Monday night; he could tell she was unsure what to expect from him.

  “Hi,” he answered, struggling in vain to stave off the sudden onslaught of almost unbearable longing to gather her up in his arms and hold her close, just like on Monday night.

  “How was the dinner?”

  “It went pretty well. Justin and I sat next to the CEO and the chairman for most of the night—now we’ll just have to wait and see if any work comes out of it. Thanks for what you’ve done around the house.”