by Robin Roseau
"You're not sixteen."
"I need to know."
She didn't want to tell me.
"Omie," I said. "I'm going back with you whatever the answer is, but I need to know."
"Yes," she whispered. "But you're not sixteen."
I pulled her to me, my heart soaring. She loved me. She loved me. She loved me.
I touched her, the way a companion touches her warrior. I was still bundled in my cloak, but I put her hands inside, at the back of my neck, one resting against my ear, and I soothed my warrior's soul, I silenced the demon voices.
We reached the beach, and I heard Dannick's voice guiding Maya. Their boat reached the shore, and I heard Maya yelling at Nori to sit down, that she didn't want to go for a swim three feet from shore.
Our brothers together pulled the other boat to shore, but still I heard splashing when Nori climbed out. She swore as the water sloshed over her boots. Another minute later, and Dannick reeled our boat in, but then I heard him ask harshly, "What are they doing?"
"Hush, Dannick," Maya said softly. "Leave them be."
"Tell her to get her hands off my sister!" Dannick said. "You! Amazon! Leave my sister alone."
Omie would have pulled away, but I told her quietly, "No. Hold me just a moment longer, then we'll go deal with the boys."
Omie actually chuckled. "Do you think I'm going to have to kick their asses?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not in any shape to help you."
"Oh Beria," she said, her voice breaking.
"Try not to hurt them too badly," I said. "Omie, will you kiss me?"
"Beria..."
"Please. One kiss. That's all I want. One kiss."
She shifted in her seat, and her hand changed how she was holding me, her fingers pressed against my cheek. Then she lifted her face to mine, and our lips met.
As kisses go, it wasn't much. But it was my first kiss, and to me, it was wonderful. She tasted salty, but her lips were soft and kind, and she offered a little moan as she kissed me.
Dannick went insane. "What are they doing?" he screamed. Our boat reached the shore, and I felt when he set his hands on the edge, ready to climb into the boat and pull Omie from me.
"Dannick," Maya said. "It's just a kiss. Leave them alone."
"She's taking advantage of my little sister, and you're telling me to leave them alone?"
"I believe," Maya said, "that it was Beria's idea. Now leave them alone."
And I knew then and there that Maya was on my side.
The kiss ended, and then I opened my eyes, looking into Omie's. She smiled tentatively. "One kiss," she said. "For more, you have to wait. We have to wait."
If she thought I was waiting for more kisses, she was crazy, but for now, one kiss would do. I clasped her hands. "Take me home," I told her.
And she smiled.
* * * *
The fight with our parents was loud. All of us were crammed into the house, and it had never seemed so crowded. I refused to let Omie leave me, although she was very solicitous. Dannick had tried to run ahead, presumably to tattle on me for the kiss, but Maya had hissed at him, "Let me handle it, Dannick."
But Mama had been waiting by the door, and the moment we stepped up, she opened it. She took one look and said, "No. I won't allow it."
"Let's go inside and talk, Mama," Maya said calmly.
"I won't allow it," Mama had repeated. "And I do not want either of those women in my house."
"All right," Maya had said. "Please let us know when you'll be by to visit."
She turned around and got a half step before Mama screamed, "No!" Maya froze, waiting, and then Mama said, "All of you come in."
And so we had gathered in the kitchen. Maya and Mama waged a silent battle to see who would take charge, a fight the men probably didn't even notice. Nori took a post near the door, leaning against the wall, not speaking. Omie led me to a chair then pulled one next to it. She helped me slip out of the cloak, and then we waited.
I was willing to let Maya fight this fight for me.
"They were kissing, Mama," Dannick finally said. Mama spun to him and saw him pointing at Omie and me. She turned to us.
Maya flashed a grin of victory and proceeded to brew a pot of tea.
"Kissing?" Mama asked.
"It was one kiss," Maya said. "Their first, I believe." And I nodded.
Maya had grown amazingly calm. I didn't think she had gotten the yelling out of the way, but there was no one here she wanted to yell at anymore. I thought perhaps she wasn't done yelling at Nori, but I knew she wouldn't do that with our family to witness. And so she brewed the tea while Mama tried to glare holes in Omie. I'd once thought Mama was really good at glaring, but she had nothing on Queen Malora, and Omie didn't even look intimidated.
Maya puttered around while the tea steeped. "Nori and Omie, have you eaten?"
"I am not feeding them!" Mama said.
"We're fine," Nori said. "We can get something to eat later."
"Mama," Maya said, "I want you to think about something. Two days from now, when you have calmed down, but you won't see Beria and I for who knows how long, what memory do you want us to have?"
"Do not manipulate me, Daughter," Mama said to her, but I saw Maya flash a grin. She had distracted Mama from Omie and me. "There's bread and jam," she added.
"Bread and jam, Nori?" Maya asked.
"Bread and jam would be lovely," Nori said.
"Mama makes her own jam," Maya said. "It is especially good. Mama, our cook is very good, but we don't get jam quite like yours. And father, our fish are good, but there are days I would love a tasty reedfish."
Maya puttered, Mama and Father unsure how to handle her. She pulled out the bread, but Mama took it from her and cut it up while Maya found the jam.
"There's strawberry, too," Mama said. "And we have honey."
"Oh," I said. "Honey. Maya, why don't any of the villages tithe us honey?"
"We get a little," she said. "And some of the Amazons make their own. Remember? I showed you the hives at Lake Yara."
Maya and Mama set out plates and delivered the food. Mama made a plate for father. I made a plate to share with Omie, and Maya gave a plate and cup of tea to Nori.
The food was wholesome, and the tea was warming. Everyone was afraid to speak, although Nori said, "That was very good, Renee. Thank you."
"Yes, Renee," Omie said. "Thank you."
Mama accepted graciously.
"Nori," Maya said, "Are you going to sit with us?"
"I think I'll stay here," she said. "This is between the two of you and your parents. I'd pull Omie away, but I don't think either of them are ready to let go of each other."
"I'm sorry," Omie said. She looked over at Mama. "The voices. Do you understand?"
"No," she said. "I do not." It was said coldly.
"Well," said Maya, drawing the attention again. "As you can guess, we're going back. We're needed."
"I forbid it!" Mother yelled. "Neither of you are leaving Gallen's Cove ever again!" She turned to Nori and screamed, "You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Mama!" Maya said firmly, "Nori didn't do anything wrong. Nori was dealing with the demons. Malora, now, she and I are going to have words, but leave Nori out of it."
Mama turned to Omie, but Maya slapped the table with the palm of her hand. "And leave Omie alone, too."
"Do not address your mother in that fashion," Father said.
But again, Maya had accomplished her goal, and both our parents focused on her. I was sure that was intentional.
"You're right," she said quietly. "I am sorry. But the enemy is not in this room. The enemy is several days east of here."
"Which is why you're staying here, where it's safe!"
"The enemy wants to kill Queen Malora," Maya said, "and if I don't go back, she will probably succeed. And the first thing she is going to do, after wiping her sword off on the body of the woman I love, is look around and asked, 'where are Maya and Beria'
? And a week later, she is going to show up here with an army of Amazons. And she will raze Gallen's Cove to the ground looking for us. I will not let that happen!"
"So you're going to go back and make it easy for her?"
"No, I am going to go back and make sure Queen Malora plants her in the ground."
"From what I understand," Mama said, "You aren't a warrior. You will never be a warrior. What can you do?"
"I can still the voices that eat at her soul and sap her strength," Maya said.
They argued about it for a while. Finally Maya said, "I am going, and you cannot stop me. So I hope instead you will hug me and kiss me and maybe give me a little jam to take back with me."
Father grew quiet. Mama tried pleading, but finally she changed her attack. "Fine. If that's what you're going to do, you're right. I can't stop you. And of course, we'll hug you and kiss you goodbye. And of course, we'll send anything with you that you need. But your sister stays here."
That was when it grew loud. And that was when Maya's emotions got in the way.
I let them scream at each other for a while, but then I waited for a lull and said simply, "I am going. I am safer if I am with my warrior, Nori and Maya. But if I have to go alone, I will go alone. You cannot watch me forever."
Father tried the line, "You will do what you are told."
Mama tried yelling me into submission.
I let them both yell and just repeated what I had said. "Omie needs me, and I am someday going to be a very good Amazon. I hope you can be proud of me."
And that was the end of the argument. Mama cried, of course she did, but then she dried her tears and asked what she could send with us.
That was when Nori stepped forward. "Medicine for Beria's back."
"I have some," Mama said. "But can't she wait until she is healed?"
"No, Mama," I said. "Thank you for helping me, but now I want to be with my warrior. She needs me, and I need her, too."
"Renee, the jam was really good, but the jars are glass."
"If I pack some very carefully," Mama said, "will they survive the trip?"
"Maybe a jar or two," Nori said.
"And some of the honey, too," Mama said.
"When are you leaving?" father asked quietly.
"Today," Maya said after a single glance at me. "We're needed."
"Dannick," said Father, "they need more hooks, I'm sure. You know the size Maya prefers. And line."
"Food for the trip," Mama said. "And I know you need more clothing." She began puttering around the kitchen, trying to pull food together for us. Maya looked at me then at Mama.
I got up, caressing Omie, and then crossed the room to my mother. She was crying. I pulled her into my arms.
"I love you, Mama," I said. "A little of the bread, if there is more, and two jars of the jam."
"And honey," she said.
From behind me, I heard Father tell Nathano and Chandor to go with Nori and help pack up their camp.
"How long, Nori?" Maya asked.
"Twenty minutes," she said.
Mama heard every word, but she didn't say anything. She held me, and then Maya was there, and we pulled her into a hug, too.
Mama cried for a few minutes, then she pushed away. "I need to pack your things," she said. She pulled out three of the jars of jam, but Maya put one back.
"We're going to be riding hard, Mama."
So Mama carefully wrapped two of the jars. Maya retrieved our saddlebags, and we packed carefully, adding a jar of the honey. Mama wrapped a loaf of the bread, then tried to find other things to send with us. Maya put her hands on Mama's.
"Do you need money?" Father asked. "Tell us what else you need."
"Father," Maya said, "No. We'll be fine. You work so hard, and you send so much now."
"It's not all from just us," he said. "Everyone chips in a little."
Mama finished packing, then suddenly she turned away from us and stomped over to Omie. She reached out and pulled my warrior to her feet. "You protect my daughter!"
"I will, Renee," Omie said. "We thought we were keeping them safe."
"You were wrong."
"Yes, we were wrong."
"It's not her fault, Mama," I said.
"Stay out of this, Beria. This is between Omie and me." She looked back at Omie, then slowly relaxed her grip. "I must be a fool to lay hands on an Amazon warrior, even one so small as you."
"We both want the same thing, Renee," Omie said. "We want Beria safe. And happy."
"Wait right here," she said, and she spun around. I heard her go upstairs, and she returned a moment later, pressing two jars into Omie's hands. "These go on her wounds," she said. "And you must keep them clean. You need to be strong enough to clean them, Omie."
"I will, Renee."
"Is your queen a good woman?"
"The best of women," Omie said. "We all love her."
Mama studied Omie, then nodded.
She turned back to Maya and me. "I expect letters."
"We'll send them as often as we can," Maya agreed.
"You will send one the day after this is over," she said.
"Yes, Mama," Maya said. "I'll ride out to the plains villages myself if I must."
Dannick returned carrying a small package. "Father, it's all the small hooks we have, and most of the lighter line Maya asked for last time." He thrust it into Maya's hands, and she added it to our pack. And then there was no reason to delay any further.
"Thank you, Dannick," Maya told him.
"It's just fishing hooks and line," he said.
"She's not thanking you for that," I said. "Don't be such a boy. Thank you for looking out for me, but I'm all grown up now. Come kiss me goodbye. We'll try to get back next year."
Dannick turned to me and held me gingerly. We exchanged quick kisses, and I hugged him far more tightly than it was safe to hold me.
"Wow, Beria," he said. "When did you get so strong?"
"Come visit us sometime and we'll show you how that happened," I said, letting him go. I grinned at him. "You're a good brother."
"You're a good sister," he agreed. "A lot better than the other one."
"Hey!" said Maya.
I hugged Father next, and then I found myself in Mama's arms. "You let them take care of you for a while," she whispered.
"I think I will, Mama."
"And no more kissing. You're not old enough."
"We both know I'm old enough for kissing, Mama," I said. "And that will be enough for a while."
I pushed away. "Thank you for taking care of me, Mama," I told her. "And thank you for understanding."
She nodded, but it was sad. And a moment later, we were out the door.
We got outside, and Omie said, "I guess we walk."
"Yes," Maya said. "The stable is two blocks that way." She pointed. She set out, our bags thrown over her shoulder. I grabbed Omie's hand, and then I hurried to catch up to my sister, taking her hand in mine.
We got a half block and I said, "I'll wait for more, but there is going to be more kissing. Do I make myself clear?"
"We'll talk about it later," Omie said. "When you're sixteen."
"Omie," I said, "Much of life is uncertain, but one thing we know. I will not be your companion forever. And I intend to live life to the fullest."
"Right," she said. "And you'll be sixteen in only a few more months."
I glanced at Maya, and she said simply, "Go slow."
"We'll see," I said. "We'll see."
Part Two
Sixteen
I turned sixteen. The entire village spent the entire day giving me a hard time. I knew it was coming, as I'd seen the way they had treated both Neela and Aura for their sixteenth birthdays. I put up with it good-naturedly. I knew it was meant in an odd form of kindness. And that night, Malora gave a beautiful speech, and one by one, everyone in the village stood up and said nice things about me. Then they went around a second time, offering advice for the new adult. Some of it was p
retty raucous, which I think made Maya upset, but I thought it was funny.
And by the entire village, I meant everyone. The villages to the north and south of us took our patrol for us so everyone could attend.
I'd gotten my way with the kisses. Of course I had. There were kisses, and there were touches. And Omie looked at me like Malora looked at Maya. But there wasn't more than that, and I wasn't ready for more, either. But the kisses were nice, and knowing she loved me was nice, too.
When we arrived in the hut after the bonfire, Omie was nervous. I was sixteen now, and she couldn't use that as an excuse anymore. I couldn't tell if she was excited with anticipation, or if she was just nervous.
So I took her hands. "I'm sixteen now," I said.
"Yes."
"I don't feel any different."
"Maybe Maya was right when she said you were born shortly before midnight, and you'll feel differently right at the stroke of midnight."
I smiled.
"I'm not ready for more. I hope that's okay, Omie."
The look of relief she gave me told me quite a lot.
"You're relieved?"
"Actually? Benala and I rushed it. I think that was a mistake. Well, I rushed it, and she let me."
"So it's not that you don't want me?"
"No, Beria, it's not."
"Good." And so I helped her undress and I put her things away, and then my own. We climbed into bed together. She kissed me, long, slow and soft, and I almost changed my mind, but instead I asked her to hold me, and maybe rub my back.
"Did you want some of the ointment?"
My back had healed, but it was scarred, and sometimes the scars grew tight.
"Hold me," I asked again. "I like when you hold me."
"I like holding you," she said. "Beria, thank you for being my companion. I don't know what I'd have done without you."
"It's been getting better," I observed as she wrapped me in her arms. "You're easier to soothe the last month or two."
She giggled.
"No, you're just better at it."
It was the kissing, and the more intimate touching we did, and we both knew it.
"Beria," she said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes I wish you weren't any better of a warrior than your sister."
