by Robin Roseau
I grew proud of all three of them.
* * * *
Spring fully arrived. The trees grew green; the birds returned. And it became time to recruit companions.
I had planned to go with Maya this year, but I sent Glorana, Frida and Yalta instead, remaining behind to keep an eye on everything at Lake Juna.
White Pine sent the materials they had promised. Several large wagons arrived at Howard's End. Maya arranged for delivery, and we received enough supplies for two new huts and a note from Rora that she would come build them after the recruitment drive.
In the mean time, I did my job. I went on patrol. I made a trip every few weeks, checking on the villages and making sure the villages were coordinating with each other. Of course, they were. From time to time, this village chief or that village chief's companion would mention something to me, something I knew was really for Malora's ear, and so at least until the spring recruitment drive, I returned to Queen's Town periodically to talk to Malora.
A few chiefs were at odds with their neighbors, and those I soothed, trying to prevent uncomfortable relationships from becoming increasingly sour. It was sometimes a difficult line to walk. Usually, both village chiefs had valid complaints about the other. Occasionally, one chief was being unreasonable, and the other had grown tired of being the one to give way.
I did the best I could, and Malora expressed pleasure in how I did.
Glorana, Frida and Yalta returned with a woman of twenty-two or twenty-three. Rahna was sweet and kind but hopelessly clumsy.
"We know she'll never be a warrior," Glorana said. "We'll have to leave her here when we go on patrol. But she caught my eye, and these two-" she gestured to Frida and Yalta, "like her too." And so I found myself gently training four young companions.
I made Glorana take her to Queen's Town a week later. Rahna refused to talk to Glorana for two days afterwards, but she applied herself to her training, and I learned later Rahna had forgiven Glorana.
Lia and I pranked each other. I wouldn't say it was incessant, but it was steady. Some stunts were definitely new to me, but I knew she'd been talking to others for some of them. She dyed my horse's mane pink long after I had returned my hair to black. Nori had once dyed Malora's horse, and when I asked if she'd heard that story, she admitted she had. But she didn't confess to having dyed mine. She never admitted to any of her pranks, but I knew it was she doing them.
I woke one morning and found the door to my hut wouldn't open. The door was made to open inward, and she had run a practice staff through the handle and tied it so it stayed in place, spanning across the frame of the door from the outside so I couldn't pull the door open. I had go to out the window in back, and when I dropped to the ground, I found she had spread brambles all around the back of my hut.
That one actually made me a little angry, and I had to calm down before deciding what I would do in return.
One day she stole my bedding. Another day she left my horse in my hut. I don't know how she managed that.
By the time summer arrived, I hadn't caught her in the act. I thought I had once. I left my hut and told everyone I was going fishing, but it had been a few days since my last prank on her, and I knew I was due. I didn't think she could resist if my hut was unattended. So I doubled around and hid where I could watch my hut, but she couldn't see me.
Ten minutes later, bold as day, she entered my hut. She was inside for only a few minutes before leaving. I was sure I had her.
I watched the hut for an hour, then I came back from "fishing" not having caught anything. Lia was hanging around, playing a game with her kids in the middle of the village, and so she saw me when I entered my hut.
I immediately saw what she had done. She had taken all my clothing and bedding and stuffed everything together so it looked like a Beria-sized doll in one of my outfits. She used pins to hold the tunic and leggings together. Then she had hoisted everything into the rafters of the hut with rope, tying it off up there. I wasn't sure how she had gotten up there. I stared at it then decided to leave it for now.
About ten minutes later, I stepped outside and announced we would have a bonfire that evening.
At the bonfire, I had a few small announcements and asked if anyone had anything to discuss. There were a few minor issues, easily handled. Then I said, "We have a disciplinary problem to handle."
I paced back and forth.
"Today, while I was fishing, someone decided to pull a prank on the village chief."
There were a few snickers. I'm sure everyone knew Lia and I were teasing each other back and forth. Several faces turned to her, but she looked at me serenely.
"What did she do, Chief Beria?" Lia asked sweetly.
I explained what I had found. "It is, of course, a minor prank. If the culprit will confess freely, my punishment will be in keeping with the nature of the prank."
No one said anything, but every pair of eyes turned to Lia. She smiled and said nothing.
"If the culprit doesn't confess, but I can prove her guilt, the punishment will be far more severe."
Still she didn’t say anything.
I paced back and forth before finally coming to a stop in front of Lia, looking down at her. "Do you have anything to say, Lia?"
"No, Chief Beria," she said. She smiled at me and cocked her head, and then she began to let her hair down. She normally wore it up, but she made a habit of lowering it when she came to visit me before bed each night.
"You once threatened me with repercussions if I ever blamed you for something without sufficient evidence of guilt."
"I did not," she said. "I promised repercussions." She finished lowering her hair and ran her fingers through it a few times, still smiling at me.
"However, I believe if I have evidence of your guilt, that promise doesn't apply."
"Of course not," she replied.
"Did you notice I came back with no fish from fishing?"
Her smile wavered.
"I wasn't paying that much attention," she said. "The girls and I were engaged in a game."
"I noticed," I said. "Your game started about fifteen minutes after I left to go fishing."
The rest of her smile disappeared. "How did you know that?"
"Because, Lia, I was watching you the entire time you thought I was fishing."
She paused. "The entire time?"
"Well, technically, no. I couldn't see what you were doing after you entered my hut."
"It's about time she got caught," Nora said, one of the companions.
I looked at Nora for a moment. "Nora," I said, "do you have any direct knowledge of this incident?"
"No, Chief Beria."
"Do you have direct knowledge of any of the other pranks that have been perpetrated upon me for the last few months."
"No, Chief Beria."
I stared her down for a moment until she lowered her gaze to the ground. When I returned my attention to Lia, her smile was back.
"What do you have to say for yourself, Lia?"
"I would ask if you are accusing me, and if so, might I borrow your knife? I need to cut something."
"Oh, there will be no cutting," I said. "You entered my hut. No one else did."
"Yes," she said, "I entered your hut. It was a nice day, and I opened your window to air out your hut. I straightened up for a moment and laid a fresh fire in your stove in case it grows chilly this evening. Perhaps someone entered through the window later, pulled this prank, and left by the same route. Were you carefully watching the back of your hut? If you were, then you would have had to circle most of the village to do so, given that the river is in the other direction, and we all saw you leave and later return. If you had circled around to watch the back of the hut, then the front door would have been unobserved for several minutes."
"You and I both know you did it, Lia! Admit it."
"May I borrow your knife, Chief Beria?" She smiled at me.
I sighed. "No, you may not. Accusation rescinded. I'll c
atch you eventually."
"I would have to be doing something wrong first, Chief Beria."
The other Amazons snickered, but they shut up when I glared at them. That didn't stop them from smiling.
Later, once we had all retired to our huts, she came to mine. Her hair was still down. I'd climbed into the rafters to retrieve my things and was just about to make the bed.
"Let me help you," she offered, and together, we made the bed. We finished and found ourselves facing each other from opposite sides of the bed. "There's something I thought you should know."
"Oh?"
"There are at least two people pulling pranks you on, Beria."
I stared at her. "Oh hell, I'm sorry."
She smiled and shook her head. "Was that a confession?"
"Um. No."
She laughed.
"Did you care to offer the name of one of the miscreants?"
"I have come to this conclusion through inference only. I could be wrong. I am basing my statement on one fact."
"Oh?"
"I'm not sure how to put this. Hmm. It may be that one of the miscreants is being pranked back far more often than she is pranking you. And that miscreant is also having the tools of pranks returned to her that she had nothing to do with."
"I suppose I shouldn't ask you how you know this."
She smiled and didn't answer, but instead said, "I also have reason to believe that someone is not only pranking you, but pranking the first of your miscreants, playing you and her against each other."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. The second miscreant appears to have made a mistake. A prank against the first miscreant happened when you were scheduled to be here, but then you arrived back late from Queen's Town. A prank was unearthed that could possibly have happened before you left, but probably happened while you were gone."
"Perhaps you should share the nature of this prank."
"I believe I am only willing to do that if you were to offer the first miscreant full amnesty for past pranks and perhaps offer a truce until all other miscreants have been properly identified and repaid for their interference."
"I'm not sure I'm willing to offer amnesty," I replied.
"Aren't you? Have you found the first miscreant to be a worthy adversary?"
I smiled. "Perhaps it is the second miscreant who is the worthy adversary."
"I believe your game with the first miscreant far predates the involvement of the second."
"Then, yes, the first miscreant has been an excellent adversary. But I am loathe to forego the opportunity to absolutely catch her."
"You've set traps for her, haven't you? Traps she has avoided."
"Traps she once or twice moved in order to catch me," I admitted.
"Perhaps you would find joy in becoming allies with such a worthy adversary. After all, it is temporary, and your game can always renew again later."
I chuckled. "What do you propose?"
"Full amnesty. Full confession. And a full truce lasting until all other miscreants are properly repaid."
"Agreed," I said, "if the forgiveness inherent in amnesty applies to anything I may have done."
"I believe she would agree as well. Do I have your word?"
"You do. And do I have hers?"
"You do," she grinned. "You left for Queen's Town two days ago in the morning and were to have returned by mid-afternoon."
"Yes."
"I must sit." She sat down on the bed and began to remove her boots. When she pulled her feet out of her boots, they were both dyed black. I stared and began to laugh.
"Hush, you," she said. "I am almost certain this prank happened after you left for Queen's Town and before you returned. Am I wrong?"
"I cannot attest to the timing," I admitted. "But I didn't do it. How did she do it?"
"She painted the insides of my other pair of boots. I wouldn't have found it until the next day, but I changed boots, and then when I took them off for bed that night, my feet were this color."
I moved closer and looked at them. "It's just dye."
"I know. I'm a little concerned the boots are ruined. I've washed them repeatedly. At first, I was really, really angry with you, but then I started to put two and two together. Beria, please tell me you didn't do this."
"I didn't. I swear. But I'll help you with a new pair of boots."
"Thank you."
We sat for well over an hour comparing notes, laughing quite a bit.
"I couldn't figure out how you did that one," she said.
"You don't think I'm going to tell you, do you?"
In the end, we decided the additional miscreant involved herself about a month ago and was responsible for at least a third of the tricks played on me since, but she'd only done two to Lia.
"Do you have any idea who it is?"
"No, but I bet we can eliminate people if we compare the days of the pranks against the patrol roster."
"Are you sure your daughters aren't involved?"
"This is too sophisticated for them," she said. "And I asked them both. They would both have had to become far better liars than they've ever been in the past. No, I don't think they're involved."
"Wait here," I said. I stepped out and ran to the dining hall, collecting the patrol roster. It wasn't unusual for me to take a peek at it, so no one would notice. I returned to my hut, and we poured over it.
It was difficult to remember the exact days of some of the pranks she hadn't done, but in the end, we narrowed it down to four of the warriors and half the companions.
"Could it be Maya?" Lia asked.
"I can't imagine anyone from outside the village able to sneak in enough times without being noticed. I also don't believe it was Nora. She would have had to lie to me at the bonfire tonight, and if she got caught, that would be a lot, lot worse than any punishment for harmless pranks."
"How are we going to catch her?"
"You know I can get a confession any time I want one," I said.
"Yeah, but what's the fun in that?" Lia grinned at me.
"It depends upon how we get it," I said. "You and I could have a fight over one of the pranks she did. It could get worse, because you could deny doing it, and I could get mad at you for flat out lying to me."
"Maybe you're the one who should get in trouble for lying," she said. "She's done some to me, too. Do you want to play it that way?"
"No, I want to catch her. You know, we're going to have to continue to prank each other, or at least make it look like it."
She nodded. "Complete openness. I'll tell you before I do something."
"And I'll tell you."
"We'll have to let ourselves get caught by them, at least often enough no one grows suspicious."
We made our initial plans. Then she yawned, and I realized it was late.
"I haven't stilled your voices yet," she said.
"And they're loud," I admitted.
"Come on," she said, getting up and moving to the bed. "She sat down and opened her arms. "I'll hold you here for a while. Tell me when they're still."
I sat down next to her, and she pulled me into her arms. I pressed my face against her and wrapped my fingers in her hair.
"Thank you," I said.
She stroked my back and cupped my cheek. I placed a hand over hers, pressing her hand against me, my other hand still buried in her hair.
I sighed.
Slowly, the voice receded.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"You're welcome, Beria." She paused. "I'm glad we came."
"I am too."
* * * *
It took us three weeks to eliminate half the names on our list of suspects. We narrowed it down to Ree and Pallie, who I had a hard time suspecting, Badra, Tamma, and, of all people, Yalta.
"It has to be Tamma," Lia said. "Who else would dare? But I haven't been able to catch her. She hasn't acted as if she's guilty, either."
"If it's a companion other than her, then her warrior knows," I
said. "I can't see Ree or Frida being involved."
"We need proof," Lia said. "Beria, I'm not absolutely sure Tamma won't lie if you confront her."
"There's something else. If there are two of them, then our entire process of elimination has been wrong."
"We have to catch her," Lia said.
In the end, we set a very simple trap across the doorway to my hut. Lia collected some pinesap, and we painted the floorboards. By stepping carefully, we could avoid it, but as long as our miscreant didn't know about it, she would step into the sap and leave a sticky residue on the bottom of her shoes.
It took another three days before Lia noticed Rahna, Glorana's new companion, scrubbing the bottoms of her boots.
"What happened?" Lia asked her.
"I stepped in something," she replied. "It seems to be pernicious."
Lia looked closer. "Looks like you've almost got it. Is that sap from a tree?"
"I don't know," Rahna said. "I haven't been in the woods for days."
"We live in the woods," Lia said. "I'm constantly finding no end of things in the girls' clothes."
Lia went on her way, and we wouldn't get a moment alone for hours, but she served me lunch and whispered, "Got her," into my ear. I hadn't been back to my hut, but I stopped by before afternoon training. There was a clear boot print in the stick sap, and I found a few rocks in my bed, under the mattress so I would have a lumpy bed. I only found them because the perpetrator left a sticky set of footprints right to the side of the bed.
Lia came to me that evening.
"It was Rahna," she said.
I stared at her. "I cannot believe a companion, even a new companion, would engage in behavior like this without her warrior's involvement. And if Glorana is involved, so is Frida and probably Yalta."
"Four miscreants. What are we going to do?"
"Without better proof, we can't do anything too terrible," I said.
* * * *
We assembled more proof and came to the conclusion all four were in on it. But they were being very careful to avoid getting caught. We didn't find direct evidence of Frida's involvement, and I wasn't sure we had enough evidence to convict them if we brought it to Malora. But of course, we weren't going to do that.
They were just pranks, after all.
