by Garance Dore
Our mothers teach us very early on to say no to any type of clothing that doesn’t fit or flatter us.
“My love, pants just don’t look good on you; you should only wear skirts!”
Sounds pretty rough, no? But style education is serious business. And when she has found what works for her, the French woman sticks to it.
Emmanuelle Alt and her skinny jeans that make her legs look longer than the Eiffel Tower. Carine Roitfeld and her midi skirt, so strong and sexy. Caroline de Maigret and her bangs and forever-messy hair.
We find what works, and and we’re not afraid to say no to everything else.
Lisa Jones, making head-to-toe denim her own.
SHE SAYS NO TO TRENDS.
Trends are fun to read about in a magazine on a Sunday morning, and shopping is a perfect time to catch up with friends, but that’s about where it ends.
The French woman will only buy a trendy item if she is sure she can make it work in her wardrobe, but being too on trend is suspect, means you’re a fashion victim, and—horror!—that you want to stand out.
Jessica Joffe, a beautiful way to wear black.
SHE SAYS NO TO SWEATPANTS.
You’ll rarely see a French woman in her gym clothes, unless she is actually at the gym, which is rare because she also likes to say no to going to the gym, but that’s another subject for another day. It’s just not done. And even though these rules are getting lost as we get more and more influenced by, hmm, American TV, French people still really make a distinction between the interior life (at home) and exterior life (outside, dressed up).
I like going outside in my gym clothes, by the way. It is very un-French of me.
Melissa Bon knows how to elevate her classics, in one of my favorite essentials, the leopard coat.
SHE SAYS YES, FOREVER, TO HER CLASSICS.
Things that last are cherished. Classics are revered, passed from generation to generation. It can be your chic grandmother’s Kelly or your mom’s gold necklace.
Important moments in the life of a French woman include buying her first watch, her first perfume, her first bag—these are important because there is a chance she might wear them every day and forever.
If she likes a certain kind of T-shirt, she won’t hesitate to buy three. This will become her signature. If she likes a certain type of red lipstick, she will go ahead and stock up (the worst moments of a French woman’s fashion life being when her favorite things get discontinued. I’ve seen a friend buy forty-five bottles of perfume, trying to do the math to see if it would last for the rest of her life).
Knowing her style means knowing that what she loves today, she’ll love forever. Knowing her style also means that once she has it down, she can stop thinking about fashion. Because fashion fades.
But style…It’s a big yes, forever.
LESSON LEARNED
I arrive at the café, ready for a night out and rather thrilled at the prospect of spending the evening with one of my most Parisian friends.
The sort who knows the city like the back of her hand, kisses everyone on two cheeks when she gets to the Flore, and drives around in her Smart car at an insane speed, not to start any rumors about Parisian behavior.
She is so cool, you see. So much Frencher than I am.
There she is, sitting pretty, with her messy hair and her red lips and her cigarette and her what-do-I-care look. A page straight out of Paris Vogue, right in front of me.
Then my eyes lock on her Hermès clutch.
“Peeeeerfection!!!” I say as I grab it from her. (How American of me.)
“Oh, it’s just an old thing my mom gave me.” (How Parisian of her.)
“Oh, come on, now, that is pretty much a treasure. I’ve never seen one like it—and that color! It’s, like, the perfect shade of butter! And I love butter! Aaaaaahh loooove jealooooouuusyyy faaaashion hysteriiaaaaa.” (How American of me.)
“Garance, beware, you sound like a New Yorker!” she says with a wink. (How Parisian of her.) “This is just a bag; who cares!” And takes a drag of her cigarette.
Two of our other friends arrive at that moment, and it’s time to go.
We end up at a party and one hour and three glasses of champagne later, I’m dancing on tables. My friend is also really enjoying herself but in a much more I’m-too-cool-to-care type of way, meaning she is neither dancing on the tables nor shouting out the lyrics along with strangers. Instead she is talking secretively with someone while moving her shoulder to the music—the obvious sign that she is having a lot of fun. And the butter clutch is lying loosely by her side, as if she has forgotten its existence.
Suddenly, a girl rounds the corner with a big glass of unidentified dark liquid and trips on something. The drink comes splashing down on my friend…and her beautiful Hermès clutch.
She turns white, looks at me, grabs the bag, her jacket, and flees.
We follow and find her sitting on the sidewalk, looking at her clutch, heartbroken.
We try to comfort her but, really, she is inconsolable.
Needless to say, we don’t go back to the party.
I guess this was the night my friend reached the limits of her French coolness.
We all still mourn the bag, and sometimes we find ourselves back at the café, remembering how beautiful the butter clutch was.
And no one has ever said: “Oh, come on, now, it’s just a bag!!!”
I don’t think it would be met with a French shrug.
Even the most effortless French girl has her limits.
This is one of my favorite coats and it is from Zara. I’ve had it for years!
MIX HIGH AND LOW
I know I talk about it too much, but I love to shop at Zara.
I’m a bit of an expert, and I can say this with confidence because I have been refining my skills for many years.
Zara has evolved with me. At first I could barely afford it, and today I mix it with designer pieces. My Zara mastery is so impressive that random strangers (okay, my friends) throw themselves at my feet (okay, they text me) for my advice.
Stop throwing yourselves at me, people! It’s so easy! Here are my secrets.
1. GO OFTEN.
Zara gets new shipments in all the time, and good things don’t stay on the racks for long.
The store I go to gets shipments in on Thursdays. So the best thing to do is stop by on my way home to see if a Zara miracle happened overnight. Online is even better: The new stuff is just a click away. The downside is that you can’t try it on and touch the fabric.
2. IDENTIFY THE COLLECTIONS.
Going often is actually super easy because, once you get the hang of it, you’ll be in and out in five minutes, max. For example, I rarely venture into the back of the store.
I look around right at the entrance: That’s where the most attractive clothes are.
If I don’t see anything, I flip a 180 and out I go.
AAAAAAOOOOOHHHHH
YEAHHHH! (ZARAGASM)
3. ZERO IN ON THE BEST PIECE.
Here’s the heart of our mini-guide. (Picture me in front of a blackboard with my pointer stick in the air, please.)
The piece.
The piece is rare. It feels almost separate from the rest of the shelf.
It stands alone in its beauty, waiting for you to spot it and take it home.
Let’s say it’s a coat—though it can also be a bag, a shirt, or a beautiful pair of pants.
Bring your hand to the fabric and touch it. It should feel refined. Check the tag to see what it’s made of. The cut and details are almost perfect.
Uh-oh…Wait…Wait…Oh, oh, ooooooh!
Aaaaaaooooohhhhh yeahhhh! (Zaragasm.)
The piece you are standing in front of was created for exactly this reason—so that when people compliment you, they’ll say, “No way you got that at Zara!!!”
The piece is not what will make the store money—it’s there for prestige, to stand out, as living proof that they make great things.
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Sometimes the price of the piece is a little higher than usual. But I’m telling you, it won’t be there in three hours. Buy it and don’t look back.
4. ATTENTION!!!
Avoid getting overly excited about the piece that looks a little too “inspired by.” I know, it’s tempting, but if it looks too much like Marant, Céline, or Valentino, step away.
If nothing more, out of respect for the designers.
But also because wearing a copy doesn’t send the best message. Not to ourselves or to others. As with everything—staying chic is knowing when to resist temptation.
Lais Ribeiro, in a story I shot for Vogue Brazil, styled by Viviana Volpicella. I love the subtle eccentricity of her look.
So there you are, with all of your perfectly edited, perfectly tailored, perfectly timeless pieces.
Don’t you feel so at peace, like you’ve just done an hour and a half of yoga and had a green juice?
You know what happens to me after an hour and a half of yoga and a green juice?
I want to go have a cocktail! I want to call my friends!!! I want to go crazy!
The same goes for your wardrobe.
There are moments when you need to let loose. Buy a totally incongruous fashion item that nobody other than you and the designer understands.
Shoes you can’t walk in. Who said you have to walk in shoes?
A coat that will scream “Autumn-winteeeeeeer 200000015555!!!” to anybody who listens. A pair of furry Céline Birkenstocks. A vintage unidentified…is that a onesie?
Should you give in to your impulses? There are two ways to answer that.
1. DO THE FASHION EQUATION, AKA CALCULATE YOUR COST PER WEAR.
Take that pink fake-fur coat you want to buy. How many times are you going to wear it?
Divide the price by that number and you have your Cost Per Wear. Be honest. And remember that:
Standout items can’t be worn too often unless you want to become “the girl with the crazy pink fake-fur coat.”
Runway items will feel out of date after three to six months.
Salespeople are paid to say, “This is very wearable.”
2. USE ANY EXCUSE THAT’S AT YOUR DISPOSAL TO CAVE AND PURCHASE THE CRAZY ITEM.
Okay, so you’ve decided to be bold. But beware of these pitfalls:
You’re virtually loaded! You just got a call that you might get a new, very important (and well-paid) commission.
This is almost always a mistake, but every freelancer in the world does it, so I am not going to throw stones. I may or may not have bought a Balenciaga coat two minutes before receiving a phone call telling me that the job was actually canceled.
My advice: Maybe wait till the job is confirmed?
You’re going on a first date.
Wrrrrong!!! Most people don’t like to be blinded by a crazy fashion item—you are the one who needs to shine. Unless your date is with Anna Dello Russo. But then, you wouldn’t want to steal her thunder, would you?
Your idol, Lady Gaga, would totally wear it.
We don’t get to choose who we idolize. Go for it.
You don’t have any ten-inch heels in your wardrobe.
True. But just because they exist doesn’t mean you have to own a pair. Unless you’re a mob wife.
It’s soooo cheap.
Yes, sometimes the craziest things are also the cheapest. Warehouse-sale triple markdown? Maybe there’s a reason? You don’t see one? Just wait. But either way, not too risky.
We all need to go crazy once in a while. If it’s not too often, it can even breathe new life into an otherwise too perfectly balanced wardrobe. Perfect is boring.
MOST PEOPLE DON’T LIKE TO BE BLINDED BY A CRAZY FASHION ITEM — YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO SHINE.
What is a tuxedo?
I consulted with four fashion experts, and none of them could give me an exact answer. We all agreed on the fact that a tuxedo is a jacket-and-pants ensemble and that you can add a vest to it.
We also agreed on its name. It’s called Yves after its creator, Mr. Saint Laurent, who apparently liberated women by giving them the option of dressing like a man.
All of us had a satin collar in mind. Some of us said the pants had to be pleated, but that’s where opinions started to diverge:
“You have to wear it with a tie!”
“The pants have to have a satin stripe down the side!”
“Tuxedos have to be black.”
That last comment sent the conversation teetering into a high-pitched screaming match, so let’s get to the bottom of it.
DOES THE TUXEDO HAVE TO BE BLACK?
“No! It can be any color. It can be red, it can be off-white, it can be white. Just ask Bianca Jagger!” (Google “Bianca and Mick Jagger wedding.”)
SHOULD YOU WEAR IT WITH NOTHING UNDERNEATH?
That’s how Betty Catroux did it.
I’m not that daring, personally, but I give my full respect to women who are.
HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GO OUT IN A TUX?
This is something every woman should experience.
Once you’ve slipped into a tuxedo, something happens.
First of all, you can move around freely. The pants, oh, the pants! You can hop onto a motorcycle with perfect ease if you feel like it. And the jacket! The jacket frames and liberates your body. Everything looks perfect from every angle.
Then you put on extra-high heels.
And that’s how you make your entrance, looking like the girl who’s going to have the most fun at the party. Because you (may have) just arrived on a motorcycle. And also because all the other women are wearing dresses, so you stand out while still fitting in perfectly.
And at that moment, marvel of marvels, you realize that your tuxedo is not only getting you looks from the guys but also compliments from the women.
WHAT TO DO IF ANOTHER WOMAN IS WEARING A TUXEDO AT THE PARTY.
Remember that when you wear a tuxedo, you are armed with a heroic, self-deprecating sense of humor. I’d say go kiss the other woman square on the mouth. Do it for a long time and in front of photographers.
It’s a great thing to do and can even give a good kick to a dormant career. Ask Madonna.
HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR TUXEDO.
Choose freely. Of course, your first impulse, as a fashion-lover, will be to go to Saint Laurent or to try to find a vintage one, and you’d be right.
But I have to admit that I found mine somewhere else and it’s fabulous.
It’s Stella McCartney, and I found it on a day I wasn’t even looking for one. Everything was there. The double-breasted jacket, extremely well cut, trimmed in satin. The pants were pleated and cuffed, and there was something about them that immediately won me over: They were designed to be worn slightly short. And, of course, the white blouse and black shoes were there too. I took it all.
YOU’LL BE READY IN SEVEN MINUTES FLAT, SAID LOULOU DE LA FALAISE.
WHAT ABOUT THE POCKET SQUARE? SHOULD YOU WEAR ONE?
Of course! That’s what will make you a real man.
And by that I mean someone who really knows the male dress code and isn’t afraid to have fun with it. Don’t try to fold it every which way—you aren’t on the cover of Monsieur magazine. A pretty, artistic blur of silk is enough.
SHOULD YOU ACCESSORIZE TO DEATH?
Adding some bling is a choice. Either Catherine Deneuve or Rihanna.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT ON A TUXEDO? IS IT COMPLICATED?
You’ll be ready in seven minutes flat, said Loulou de la Falaise.
CLUTCH OR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS?
Having your hands in your pockets is not just a matter of posture; it’s the entire history of the tuxedo, because having somewhere to put your hands gives you unbelievable confidence.
The way you move changes completely—your balance changes, your energy is different.
The spark that you gain could be lost with a clutch.
It happens to me all the time—I have this pretty
little thing in my hand that’s just for decoration, since I have absolutely no room to put anything in it.
If I take a glass of champagne, both my hands are full and I can’t shake anyone’s hand, not even if it’s Marc Jacobs, who’s just come over to say hi and now thinks I’m very rude.
CAN A FRENCH GIRL SAY, “TONIGHT I’LL PUT MY SMOKING ON!” TO AN AMERICAN MAN?
Oh la la, get ready for a look of horror. In America, le smoking is called a tuxedo. The guy is already terrorized (and titillated!) by the fact that you’re French, that you don’t even hide your cigarettes, that you go topless on the beach and gobble up escargot in garlic butter at all hours of the day and night.
Reassure him, French girls. Say: “Tonight I’ll put my tuxedo on, honey.”
CAN YOU WEAR LE SMOKING IN A NONSMOKING RESTAURANT?
Hahaha.
CAN YOU WEAR A TUXEDO TO A BLACK-TIE PARTY?
Now that the term “black tie” has been reduced to nothing by party organizers with delusions of grandeur, it’s nearly impossible to get a clear idea of the dress code. Especially in fun, messy, haughty Paris, where we love wearing jeans to a fancy party.
So, if you want to look too cool for the party, while still being polite to your hosts, the tux is your best friend.
CAN YOU WEAR A TUXEDO TO A BUSINESS MEETING?
Poor girl. Do you really want to destroy the power of the tuxedo? I didn’t think so.
