by Matt Shaw
Part of me wanted to get into the car and find out what was going but my paternal instinct was working in overdrive.
“Look, I can’t come with you. My kids could be in trouble...”
The driver got out of the car, “What’s the problem here? Get in the fucking car! Let’s move!”
“I’m not coming,” I ran around to his side of the car to try and talk him into taking me back to the city as another explosion tore through the sky and more smoke whirled its way into the skies. “My kids are in there somewhere - their mother took them to the school this morning...”
“He said,” the driver explained, “if they’re in town still - they’re dead. Look, we’ve been ferrying people all day. If they were in the school then chances are they’re on one of the transport coaches back to camp. Your best bet is to come with us back there and check the registers...”
“And if they’re not back there and they’re still alive...Come on - what’s happening down there...What’s the radio saying now?”
“It’s gone off air - come on, we need to get going. It’s coming this way. We aren’t safe..”
“From what?!” I shouted as I felt my blood pressure go through the roof. I span around to see the other officer, the one who had been in the passenger seat, come up behind me.
“Look you need to come with us. You go down there - into the city - and you’re dead. Either they get you or you get caught in the crossfire. But, either way, you will die. Now get in the fucking car!” he shouted.
I went to argue with him - to tell him that, no matter what he said, I was going to continue into the town and take my chances but instead...
B L A C K N E S S
D A Y T W O
D i s c o v e r i e s
My two girls, Rebecca and Hannah, were tucked up in their beds. I was sitting on the end of Hannah’s bed. The younger of the two girls but only by about five minutes. Yesterday I had sat on the edge of Rebecca’s bed, to tell them their bedtime story, as I liked to keep things fair by alternating between the two of them.
Rebecca had pulled her duvet up around her face - as though it was helping to keep her safe from the little nursery rhyme I was reciting to them, dug out from the depths of my memory from when my own mother had recited it to me when I was a youngster. Although - the more I think about the way she used to tell it...I’m sure she used to call the spider ‘Incy Wincy’ but, I have to say, I prefer ‘Itsy Bitsy’.
As I sang through the little rhyme I did the motions of the spider with my hands, “Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out, out came the sun and dried up all the rain...Now Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again...” on the final word I quickly pounced forward over Rebecca and started tickling her, through the duvet, with my spider fingers. As per usual she screamed with laughter whilst Hannah told me to get her too.
Emma suddenly appeared in the bedroom doorway, “You’re supposed to be getting them to sleep,” she pointed out.
I looked at Rebecca, “Now look - you got me in trouble with your screaming...” I turned back to Emma, “Besides, it wasn’t me. It was Itsy Bitsy spider!”
“Oh good, passing your fears onto the children I see!”
“Fears? What fears? I’m not scared of anything...There’s just some things in the world that I simply don’t like. Spiders being one of them. Snakes, another.”
Emma crossed the bedroom floor and kissed Hannah on the cheek before giving Rebecca a kiss, “Come on, you two, time to go to sleep. And, you,” she said looking at me, “stop trying to give them nightmares!”
She walked back out of the room. As soon as her back was turned, I stuck my tongue out at her - causing more laughter from my two beautiful girls.
“You’re not scared, are you?” I asked them. They both shook their heads. My brave girls. Nothing scares them. “Mummy’s just stupid, isn’t she?” they both nodded their heads and laughed.
“I heard that,” Emma called from the other room.
“Uh oh - daddy’s in trouble now...If you hear me screaming during the night, girls, it’s just mummy beating daddy...And, if I’m not here in the morning, that’s what you tell the nice policeman, okay?” the girls laughed again. Sometimes I wonder whether I take jokes too far with them. Whether they shouldn’t be hearing some of what comes out of my mouth due to their young age - six years old now.
Six years - Jesus - where does the time go?
I can still remember visiting Emma and the girls in hospital on the day they were born. I can remember holding them in my arms for the first time. I had sat down on a chair, to make it easier, and a nurse put them in my arms - one in each arm so I didn’t have to choose who got the first cuddle. Now they’re in school. Tomorrow they’ll be in university and soon after that I’ll be an old man - looked after by my two beaming girls. Unless of course they put me in a home.
I best continue being nice to them. At least, that way, if they put me in a home - it will be a nice one as opposed to a cheap back-street care-home where they’d soon forget to visit me. Left to rot in a pile of dirty bedding.
“Right,” I said, “time to go to sleep,” I told them. “I love you both and will see you in the morning.”
I had never intended to lie to them. I had every intention of seeing them in the morning before I went to work but the shower incident, with the spider, had made me slower than usual in getting ready to go out.
Putting aside the fact that I lied to them - at least one of the last things they heard me tell them was that I loved them both. If I can’t find them, I’ll always have that memory.
I looked down at both of my girls in their beds. Their once smiling faces were frozen. Their eyes staring dead ahead. Their skin pale to the touch. Their beds were now their coffins.
I awoke with a start.
“How hard did you hit him?” I heard someone ask. My eyes had yet to focus on who said it.
“If we hadn’t made the call, he’d still be out there - probably dead. We saved his life,” said another bloke.
My eyes slowly adjusted to my surroundings.
“You saved his life by giving him concussion. That’s nice. Way to go,” the first person replied. I’m not sure who the person was, other than the fact he was a male dressed in civilian clothes compared to the man who was standing next to him dressed in army overalls - all puffed up as though he owned the joint.
I turned my head to the side to scope out my surroundings; some kind of over-sized tent with small camp beds, like the one I was laying on, lining the sides of it. A generator was in the corner of the tent with extension cords running off from it - some leading to lights which were dotted around the place, some to large air-conditioning units and others to smaller extension cords with small boxes plugged in which looked similar to air-fresheners you’d find in the supermarket. Something tells me, though, they’re not air-fresheners.
“Where am I?” I slurred my words as I continued to struggle coming around. The civilian turned to my aid whereas the army man took the opportunity to walk away from the grief he was getting.
“It’s okay,” said the man as he placed his hand on my chest, to stop me from trying to get up, “you’re safe here. Just rest up - idiots hit you pretty hard. My name is Henry. I’m a doctor.”
I could see clearly now.
“I was on the road - going to the town to find my children.”
“They told me,” said Henry.
“They told me the children would be dead if they were still in the town,” slowly I pushed myself into a sitting position.
Henry sat on the edge of the bed so we were level, “The army has been making runs backwards and forwards, looking for survivors but the city is over-run. I’m sorry to say but, unless the children are here - which is possible - then...The officer is most likely right. Look - wait here, there’s a register floating around. Everyone who comes here has their name put down so they can be reunited with their family if, like you, they
’ve managed to get separated. Wait here - I’ll go and find it.”
I tried to thank him but didn’t find the words in time to utter them before he had walked from the tent. I took the opportunity for another look around - so far, I’m the only one in here. A good sign if this is supposed to be the medical bay. It must mean the army haven’t got anyone else back here by smacking them in the back of the head too. Assholes. No wonder they sometimes get a bad reputation amongst some folk.
Henry came back through the tent’s small opening, a pretty blonde haired lady was following him with a large file in her hands.
“This is Fiona,” Henry made the introductions. I nodded at her. It was hard to say that I was pleased to meet her, given the circumstances. “She’s responsible for listing the names of the people who are currently situated here.”
“Here,” I said, “where is here? Where are we?”
“Purpose built camp about twenty-five miles from the city. They must have known something was coming because, well - you’ll see for yourself, it doesn’t look as though it was set up overnight if you know what I mean. This all started off pretty quickly. There’s no way they could have found out what was happening, started pulling people out of the town, set up all the road-blocks and get this place set up in that small window of time. No way at all.”
“And what the hell is happening?” I asked. “Where are my children?”
Fiona took the opportunity to jump in to ask about my children, “What are their names?” she asked as she held up the folder. “I’ll see if they’re here.”
“Hannah and Rebecca,” I said.
“Surname?”
“Davies. Hannah and Rebecca Davies. Their mother’s name is Emma,” I said. If the children were here - then hopefully their mum would be with them. At least they’d be a little less scared - especially if they were pulled from the town by the same army men who had found me. Their people skills were definitely lacking and I’m sure they’d have no patience for two young girls. My blood boiled at the thought of my girls being mistreated by some jumped up twat in a uniform.
Fiona was flicking through the folder, heading for the letter D in the alphabet.
“Do they go to St Anne’s Catholic School?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Have you found them?”
“Not yet but - that’s where I was. This is my first term. We were pulled out of there pretty early this morning...”
I foolishly allowed myself a faint glimmer of hope. The fact this woman was from the same school as my children, and the sheer size of the folder in her hands...Were my children here somewhere?
She looked upset. She thumbed her way back a few pages, in the folder, and scanned the list of names again before closing it. “I’m sorry,” she said. “They’re not listed.”
“But if you’re here,” I pointed out, “then they must be. They must be around somewhere.”
“Maybe they hadn’t got to school? There’s a chance...”
I knew she was right but now it made me fear for their safety even more. The fact I couldn’t get hold of Emma, on the phone, and the fact that my children obviously hadn’t made it to the school - or else they’d have been taken from there to here along with everyone else.
I felt my eyes well up, despite my best effort not to allow myself the weakness of tears.
“I’m sure they’re fine,” said Fiona. She was trying to comfort me with her words but her tone and facial expression painted a different expression on what she was saying. So did Henry’s. She changed the subject briefly, “Can I take your first name for the register, please?”
“Ethan. Ethan Davies.”
“Thank you,” Fiona said as she made a note in the file.
“You’re safe here,” Henry said offering some form of comfort, “at least - for now - wait with us. The army is constantly making trips out for survivors, not just from the city either, but from surrounding areas. They may find them. If they do - they’ll be brought here.”
“Is your family here?” I asked.
“Yes,” Henry replied.
“And if they weren’t?” I asked him. He didn’t respond and, his lack of response, told me volumes. He wouldn’t hang around here either, on the off-chance his family was found. He’d be out there, looking for them. Hunting for them. For as long as it took. “What about you?” I asked Fiona.
“I don’t have any family down here,” she told me. She seemed quiet. “They’re closer to London. I moved down here for the job,” she said. She didn’t wait for me to ask the obvious question, “I don’t know how they are. I haven’t been able to get hold of them. The phone lines weren’t working in the city, and there’s no signal out here.”
“I’m sure they’re fine,” Henry said. “This - whatever it is - seems to have come from the docks.”
“And what the hell is this?” I butted in. “I keep asking and keep hearing the same shit about the end of the world. What the fuck is going on out there?”
“No one is saying for definite. From what I’ve seen - before I was brought here - it looks to be some sort of infection.”
“Infection?”
Henry nodded, “Nothing I’ve ever seen before. It spreads fast. It’s uncontrollable. Anyone that had it - in the city - they seemed to be going mad, running around and groaning, snarling even. Limbs all over the place as though they lacked the proper brain function to work them properly...Once they had the infection - the troops were just shooting them dead...”
“I have to get out of here,” I said. I jumped to my feet.
“And go where?” Henry asked. “There’s nowhere you can go that’s as safe as this.”
“I don’t care about my safety. You just told me that the army is out there shooting people. You really think they’re making good decisions as to who to shoot and who not to shoot? Or do you think they’re out there shooting anyone with the slightest hint of whatever shit this is that you’re talking about? My children could be out there...”
“And if they are - they’re dead!” Henry shouted me down.
“Fuck you!” I shouted. “Stop fucking saying that!”
I wanted to swing for him. Punch him square on the jaw to ensure he’d not say anything like that again but, somehow, I managed to restrain myself.
“Fiona!” a voice bellowed from outside the tent. We all turned to the entrance in time to see an army officer walk in. “We have another coach showing up. Bring the folder!” he said in a stern voice as though, wearing the uniform, he had the right to talk to Fiona as though she were nothing more than a mere servant.
“Where’s this coach from?” I asked.
The army officer turned and left. Fiona hurried after him. Before she stepped from the tent, she turned to me and said, “They were taking people from the various traffic jams around the town. They said they’d rather have them here than have them in their homes, close to the city, giving the infection a chance to spread closer to us.” She didn’t wait for me to reply, she simply disappeared from the tent, closing the door behind her.
“Look - I’m sorry about what I said. I’m sorry about your children but, honestly, the best thing you can do is stay here with us and lend a hand. This place isn’t running itself and we need all the help we can get. Trust me - if your family is out there - they’ll be brought here. You’ve met Fiona. She knows you’re looking for them. Sure she will tell you if they arrive. What do you say?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. My head was banging from the unnecessary hit I had sustained and I couldn’t tell what the best thing to do was. Everything was a mess in my mind. If I did leave here - what if my family did suddenly roll in on one of the coaches they kept telling me about? There’d be no way for them to contact me and I’d be out there, searching for as long as I could - before whatever this infection is hit me too.
“Look, I’m going to go and help out with the new arrivals - just in case anyone needs my attention. Please - think about staying. Even if it’s only for a ni
ght. Then, in the morning, if you still want to leave - you can talk to the troops and find out what the situation is out there. They may even give you some supplies, although I wouldn’t hold your breath.” Henry didn’t wait to hear what my decision was and he left the room.
I sat back down on the bed wishing I’d wake up and find out this was all a dream brought about from eating something dodgy last night. I knew it wasn’t likely but I still couldn’t help but hope. I had an unpleasant feeling that these silly hopes had more chance of happening compared to me finding my family again. I suddenly realised what the others had been saying - that more people had arrived - and rushed from the tent to see if my family were amongst the new guests.
As soon as I stepped outside the tent I was instantly hit by the day’s heat. I had gotten so used to the air-conditioned room that I had forgotten about the unpleasantness of the heat outside. I was also shocked to see more large tents as far as the eye could see, all crammed into what appeared to be a couple of big fields in the country-side. I’m not sure where we are. There was nothing around to help me mentally pin-point our location. No landmarks. Just fields and trees in the distance.
