by Barbara Goss
Ned folded the letters, addressed the envelopes, and turned to Robert. “Is there a post office nearby?”
“I’ll have someone post those for you,” Robert said. “Morton goes to the post office after lunch to pick up our mail and I’ll make sure he takes your letters. I have a few bills in the mail, myself. Whenever you have mail, there’s a box in the foyer. You just drop the letters in there, and Morton will deliver them.”
Ned stood. “I’ll drop these in the box then.”
Ellen felt ashamed of her behavior the night before and wanted to apologize to Ned, but he seemed to be evading her. She had wanted to compromise him last night so she wouldn’t have to marry Davenport. Her mother constantly pushed her in his direction, but she didn’t feel anything when he kissed her. It was Ned she wanted.
She decided to go for a walk and think about what she could do to win Ned back. As she passed through the foyer toward the front door, she happened to glance at the mail in the leather box, wondering if it was incoming or outgoing. The envelope on top caught her interest, as it wasn’t her father’s writing. She stopped, picked it up, read the address, slipped it into her pocket and left the house.
She walked to the park and chose the first bench she came to, and once seated, tore the envelope open, and read the letter.
I think of you often?
Who was this Maria? Her sister had told her that besides her and Libby there were no other women in Hays of marriageable age. Where had this woman come from? Why was her Ned writing to her? She folded the letter and ripped it to shreds, but kept the envelope.
If she couldn’t get Ned to respond to her as he once had, she’d send this woman a letter telling her they’d married. He’d already begun to plan his trip home so she’d have to work quickly if she wanted to keep her man.
Ned sat in a chair in his room, feeling somewhat better after he’d posted the letters. He wondered if Maria would answer. Even if she didn’t, she’d know he thought about her often and had resolved his problem. He took out a book he’d taken from the study and began to read. There wasn’t much else to do on his own. He’d barely finished the prologue of the book when he heard a knock on his door.
He pulled out his pocket watch to see it was lunchtime. It was most likely the maid bringing up his meal.
“Enter,” he said without looking up from his book.
“I apologize.”
He jerked his head up in surprise. “Ellen!”
She closed the door and walked over to his chair. “About last evening—I didn’t really remove my gown—I was simply teasing you. Had I realized you’d take me seriously, I wouldn’t have done it. I had no intention of yelling to bring my parents storming in.” She sat down on the edge of the bed, facing him. “My father would have defended you and my mother would have denied the whole thing so she wouldn’t spoil me for Davenport.”
Ned eyed her carefully. He couldn’t tell when she was fibbing—she might be telling the truth. Had he judged her too harshly?
“That was no joking matter, Ellen. It was extremely upsetting and it made me realize I need to leave for home. I’m going to search for a ship to America this week.”
She fell to her knees before him. “Ned, do you remember the day you professed your love for me and I told you I couldn’t return it because I didn’t know if I was in love or not?”
Ned nodded.
“I know now. I love you, Ned. I don’t want to lose you now that I realize how much I love you,” she said. She looked up at him with her watery brown eyes said, “Please, don’t leave me.”
He could only stare at her.
“I did kiss Davenport, and it wasn’t his birthday. I‘ve kissed him a few times before, too. He became possessive of me and was angry at me for being with you. He threatened to challenge you to a duel, so I had to sweeten him up and reassure him that I wasn’t interested in you.”
Ned believed her because it fit what he’d witnessed. Davenport had been raving about something with her, and she might have been soothing him by kissing him.
“Go on,” Ned said. “I assume there’s more.”
“Just that I tried hard to feel something for Davenport, but I don’t. I’ve had nothing to compare my feelings to before, but now I do. I love you, Ned Benedict, and I wish to accept your marriage proposal,” she said as she stood and resumed her seat on the bed.
“That proposal has been rescinded,” Ned said.
“Is there any chance of getting another?” she asked, blinking her eyes coquettishly.
Ned thought how he might be young, but he was no fool. He knew what she was doing, he just didn’t know if he wanted to forgive her or not. One thing he knew for sure—if he ever proposed marriage again, it wouldn’t be in the throes of desire.
“That proposal was a mistake,” he said. “It was made foolishly in the heat of passion, and I now realize it was the wrong time to make a lifetime decision.”
“Is there someone else?” she asked.
Unsure of how he should answer, he shook his head and kept silent. He wasn't about to lie to her.
“Well, is there?” Ellen pushed.
Ned sighed. “I don’t know. There must be someone somewhere that’s better suited for me than a woman who refuses to live in Kansas.”
“Is that what this is really about then? Not about last night?”
“I believe your story about last night, but I came to England to arrive at some sort of decision or compromise, whatever it took to solve the problem. I was in love with someone who wanted to live in a faraway, foreign country, and neither of us was prepared to give up our homeland. If neither of us budges, there really isn’t any point to continuing this relationship.
“Have you wondered why last night scared me so badly? Had your parents forced a marriage between us, we’d have had even more of a serious problem. Where would we live?”
“Davenport isn’t the first titled man my mother has pushed at me,” Ellen confessed. “I’ve kissed several—they were nothing like our kisses, but still they were kisses. They were so cold and lacked any hint of a spark to ignite my passion. Only you have that spark, Ned. I can’t live without that, no matter how many titles or how much money a man has. A married couple needs to be physically attracted to one another. Together we could heat this whole house up,” she said with a grin.
“I agree, but there’s more to a marriage than that, Ellen. Are you telling me that you’ll live in Kansas?” he asked. For some reason, blue eyes flooded his mind—he hoped she’d give him a negative answer.
“To be honest, I’m not sure. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think I might be able to, if it’s a choice between having you and not having you,” she said.
Ned swept his hands through the air, “You’d give up all of this?”
Ellen shrugged. “If I have to. My sister’s there, so I’d have that advantage, but if you love me, why do I have to be the one to sacrifice?”
“Because the husband is the breadwinner and the ranch is my source of income. Someday the place will be mine, and I’d be a fool to give that up. What would I do here, in England, for a living? Not to mention that I’d have to leave my uncle alone.”
“I never thought about what you’d do for a living,” she conceded.
“So, what did this conversation solve?” Ned asked.
“You found out that I loved you in return.”
Ellen stood and slid onto his lap. “Can’t we just enjoy the time we do have, Ned?”
“How?” he asked, although he thought he knew what she was trying to do.
“Like this.” She bent and kissed him passionately. She massaged the back of his neck and actually tapped his lips with her tongue initiating an even more intimate form of kissing. Where had she learned how to do that?
Ned knew what her game was, but he couldn’t pull away for the life of him, instead, he pulled her closer and opened his mouth and let her in. This was new to him, and he explored the type of kiss she’d offered, c
ompletely captivated.
Before he knew it, she was dragging him from the chair and pulling him onto the bed. He felt as helpless as a fish on land. He allowed her to push him down onto the mattress while she settled herself against him, all without breaking the kiss. She pressed her body as close to his as possible, and he knew she’d felt his desire. It was where her hand was moving that brought him to his senses—this was so wrong.
Chapter Nine
Bible verses he’d learned through the years came to him as he prayed for God’s help in controlling his body and mind. The verse that stuck with him was: For the lips of an immoral woman drop as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil…It brought him to a sitting position, and thus breaking off the kiss. Ellen didn’t want it to end, so she tried to pull him back down, and even tried to touch him where no one else ever had; that did it for him.
“Enough!” He stood and paced the room, trying to cool himself.
“It’s nature, Ned,” she purred. “Come back and enjoy it. We can marry as soon as possible. I’ll even go back to Kansas with you.” She pulled on his hand. “Make love to me, Ned.”
Ned shook his head and pulled his hand free. “I’ll make important decisions like that when I’m not under the influence of passion, Ellen.”
“Making love is an important decision? By the time you’ve pondered it, the urge will have passed,” she said.
“Exactly,” he answered. “Sit down.” He pointed to the chair he’d been sitting in earlier.
When she’d settled in the seat, he knelt before her. He could tell by the sudden smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes she thought he was about to propose.
“I am a Christian man. I’ve always tried to live by principals of the Bible—until I met you, that is. I think Satan is attacking me at my Achilles heel. Fornication is a sin. I cannot make love to a woman who is not my legal wife, I just can’t. What we just did—the intimate kissing and embracing—it’s all wrong. They lead to fornication. Good Christians should never let their passion get that far, and it’s my fault for being weak and allowing it. Yes, it all feels wonderful, but it’s like the delicious apple that Adam and Eve couldn’t resist. I just couldn’t live with myself if I continued with activity like this. It’s wrong.”
To his surprise, Ellen laughed. “You aren’t a Christian, Ned, you’re a prude! Everyone does it.”
“Have you?” he asked, almost sure of her answer, due to the experience she’d shown him.
She squirmed in her chair. “That’s a pretty personal question, Ned. I refuse to answer it.”
“Let me answer it for you, then—you have.” He got to his feet and walked to the bedroom door. “I’m going to have one of your staff drive me to the wharf so I can try to book a ticket home.” He walked from the room, leaving her with her mouth agape.
On his way to the front door, he thanked and praised God for helping him control his mind and body in the nick of time, and to continue to help him always to do the right thing. If he had given in to his body, he’d be a very remorseful man right about then.
He knew, without a single doubt in his mind, that passion led many people to make huge mistakes. He felt relieved he’d escaped the trap he knew Ellen had set for him, and he wanted to go home as fast as he could—there was a pair of innocent blue eyes waiting for him.
The clerk at the shipping company that owned The Snow Queen, told him there weren’t any ships leaving for America until Wednesday of the following week. That meant he'd have to stay with the Radcliffes for six more days. The Liberty Bell would sail for Philadelphia at 5 a.m. the next week, and he booked a one-way, second-class ticket. He still had enough money left to stay at a hotel if things got messy at the Radcliffes’—he wasn’t going to let that she-devil near him again.
Ellen threw one of the pillows from Ned’s bed across the room. She didn’t know who this Maria was, but Ned hadn’t been the same person since he’d come to England. He’d been so eager to indulge in the romantic delights before. But they’d never gone as far before. She’d had to use everything she could, including a move that she’d never made with anyone ever. She truly loved Ned and would do anything—including moving to Kansas—to get him back.
If she’d been able to get Ned to make love to her that day, she’d have tried faking that it was the first time. She’d stoop as low as she had to—she had to have him.
She took the envelope out of her pocket and stared at it. Her plan would only work if this Maria hadn’t ever seen Ned’s handwriting before. Her plan was worth the gamble. Even if Ned went back to Kansas, he’d be sure to come back if Maria wasn’t there waiting for him.
She sat down at the desk and tried to remember how Ned had begun his letter. She should have kept it. When she’d finished writing, she held it up and reread it:
Dear Maria,
I hope you are well. Give my regards to my uncle, Travis, and Evaline.
I have news. I’ve decided to marry Ellen as soon as possible. My love for her has been reinforced by my visit, and I just can’t leave without making her mine. We’ll live in Kansas in the summer and England in the winter.
I hope you’re happy for us because I’m delighted to finally marry the woman of my dreams. We will marry on Saturday.
I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else, since I’d like to surprise everyone when I arrive with my new wife. I especially want to surprise her sister, Evaline.
Yours,
Ned.
She folded the letter, placed it into a new envelope, and addressed it. Rather than place it in the box in the foyer, she decided to ask one of the stable boys to take it to the postal office for her. She smiled. If nothing else, she’d make sure Ned was as miserable as she if he left her.
Evaline stopped by for tea with Maria often, and they soon became good friends. One afternoon while having tea together, Maria felt comfortable enough in their relationship to ask her the question for which she was burning to know the answer.
“Evaline, does it bother you that I’m Ned’s close friend?”
“Not at all, Maria. Why do you ask?”
“My friendship with Ned was on the verge of becoming more, but he seemed confused. I told him to go to England and sort out his feelings for Ellen. If he’s decided Ellen is no longer in his heart, I’ll allow him to court me. I care deeply for him, yet, I don’t want a man who holds another woman in his heart.”
“I think it was a wise move on your part,” Evaline said. “My sister seems to have inherited our mother’s genes, while I inherited my father’s. I think that once Ned sees her in her own environment, he’ll see it.”
“What do you mean?” Maria asked. “I don’t know your mother.”
Evaline sighed. “How to politely describe my mother? Well, maybe you should ask Travis. He calls her a battleax.” She laughed and Maria joined her.
When they were done with their bout of laughter, Evaline continued. “I love my mother, naturally, but she’s a stalwart, formidable, woman who rules over the family. My poor father has long given up trying to assert himself with her, for she cuts him to ribbons if he tries. I’ve always thought he allowed her to get her way to make peace in the house for us girls. When there are no longer any daughters in the house, I wonder if he’ll get sick of it and fight back.
“Anyway, she treats the servants abominably, and Ellen has become just like her.” Evaline shook her head in disgust. “We lost three maids in Victoria because of ElIen and my mother. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but Ellen’s was gold. Being the baby in the family, she was spoiled worse.
“I don’t think she’s right for Ned. It wasn’t my place to tell him, although I did tell Travis. He agreed that Ned had to make up his own mind.
“To be perfectly honest, I hope you and he do end up together. You’d be perfect for Ned.”
Maria reached over and touched Evaline’s hand. “Thank you. I’m so relieved that you feel that way, for I value our friendship.”
“As do I, Maria,” Evaline said. “But I’d better start home. It’s starting to snow and I hate riding the trail home in the snow.”
Ned walked into the study and was greeted warmly by Robert Radcliffe as usual.
“Am I on time to join you for your evening walk?” Ned asked.
“It’s nippy out there,” Radcliffe said, “but if you’re game, so am I.”
The two men put on their woolen overcoats, pulled up their collars, and went out into the night.
“Something’s wrong, Ned. What is it?”
“I joined you on this walk to tell you I’m going home on Wednesday. Things just aren’t working out between Ellen and me.”
“I’m disappointed, of course, but you may be better off,” he said. “She becomes more like her mother every day. You wouldn’t want to be in the situation I’ve been in for the last twenty-five years. When Ellen is safely wed, I plan on coming to Kansas to live. I just can’t take it anymore, Ned.”
“I’m sorry. You’ll have plenty of friends in Kansas.” Ned slapped him on the back. “A man has to do what a man has to do.”
Radcliffe laughed. “I care about Emma, I really do, but I think a separation—even if temporary—is a good idea.”
“I came here for a reason, Mr. Radcliffe. I needed answers and I’ve found them. Now, it’s time to go home and make some changes in my life.”
“I’m glad you found what you were looking for,” Radcliffe said. “I love Ellen, but she’s nothing at all like Evaline. I really am worried about her future. If only her mother would leave her be and let her find her own husband.”
“She’s a beautiful woman,” Ned said, “and she had a lot of good qualities. I think she needs a separation from her mother.”
“You know, Ned, you might be right. I’ll see what I can do about that. Maybe I’ll bring her to Kansas with me.”
