by Cora Seton
“I don’t know. Soon.”
“That’s fantastic!”
“I know. Isn’t it great?” Kai set her on her feet, wrapped his fingers in her hair, tilted her head back and kissed her square on the mouth, not caring if they were filmed, not stopping for a long time, either. This new victory had fired him up even more, and the hunger he’d felt earlier increased to a gnawing pain. When could he be alone with Addison? When would it be all right to pursue a closer connection? Kai fought for control. When he finally pulled back, he had to steady her. “Sorry; got carried away. You all right?”
She grinned at him. “Yes.”
Kai’s phone buzzed again. “Hold that thought.” It was Grace. “I’ve got to take this. Sorry.” He answered the call. “Grace! You won’t believe this!”
“How’s the wife thing going?”
“Good. Really good! But I got a television show!”
“I know; I’ve been watching it.” Grace laughed.
“No—a new one. A chance at one, anyway. I’m filming the pilot soon.” He explained everything to her, noticing that Addison was listening in, beaming at his excitement.
“That’s terrific! Everything’s coming together, isn’t it?” Grace said.
Something in her voice stopped him. “Yeah, it is. You okay?”
“I am. Too okay. Kai—I’m scared.”
He clutched the phone, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. His elation disappeared in a flash. “What’s going on. Are you safe? Where are you?”
Addison’s smile faded, and concern furrowed her brow.
“Kai—it’s not like that. I’m fine,” Grace assured him.
“Then what’s happening?”
“I’m being a freak; that’s what’s happening. Everything’s good. My work is good. My life is good. My fiancé is good. We’re buying a house, Kai. A little place near Mom and Dad. They’re helping us with the down payment. It’s small, and it needs lots of work, but it’s perfect.”
“So, what’s wrong?” He had begun to pace the room. Addison watched him, leaning against the counter, her work forgotten.
“Nothing. That’s what’s wrong; there’s always something wrong. When’s the other boot going to drop?”
Kai took a deep breath. He understood what she meant. Even after all their years with the Ledbetters, they still expected life to fall to pieces at any moment. “Maybe it’s not. Maybe this is how life is now. Try to soak it in while you can. You know there’s always going to be some little problem to solve. With your job and a new husband and a house to fix up? There’s bound to be hiccups, but they don’t have to be bad ones anymore.”
“You think so?” Grace’s voice had gone thready, and Kai wished he could give his sister a bear hug.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“What about you?”
“Things are pretty great here, too.” He nodded at Addison, who relaxed and nodded back. She turned to the vegetables she was preparing.
“Are you soaking it up?”
“Trying to.” Kai laughed, watching Addison work. “Yeah, I’m really trying to.”
“There’ll be things for you to solve, too,” Grace said.
“Bound to be.”
“But today’s good, huh?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, today’s good. Let’s hold on to that.”
“Okay. Thanks. I’m happy for you, Kai.”
“I’m happy for you, too.”
The next morning, Addison woke with a pit in her stomach. Two days left until her self-imposed deadline to leave Chance Creek, and the thought of it made her want to curl in a ball and hide under the covers. She’d already grown comfortable with the rhythm of her life here at Base Camp. Each day, she did a half hour of prep work and another half hour of cleanup around each meal, helping Kai. In between, she went up to the manor with the other women and pitched in there, taking over most of the daily chores, freeing up the other women to see to their guests. As soon as she’d realized Samantha worked in the gardens, Addison had told her not to worry about pitching in at the manor anymore. Kai had mentioned it was harvest time and that they were scrambling to store enough food for the winter. Addison wanted to do all she could to help. He always seemed strained when he talked about the harvest.
She hated to think she was going to let them all down in just a few days.
As for leaving Kai…
She wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or furious he hadn’t tried to take their relationship to a deeper level. Her time with him and the kisses they’d shared were going to make it nearly impossible for her to go when the time came. If she slept with him—
Addison shook her head to dislodge that thought. She hadn’t slept with him. And she wasn’t going to. She realized now that would be unfair to them both. There was no way a single time with Kai would quench her thirst for this man. As hard as it was for her to believe, she was coming to think he might feel similarly about her. Although, that was an illusion. He still thought she was the woman Felicity had made her seem in her video. He didn’t know anything about her, really.
It was best to keep things simple. Easy to break off.
Addison snorted. Yeah, easy.
She sat up and climbed out of her sleeping bag, suddenly anxious to hold on to every moment of this day so she had something to remember when she got back home to her empty life—
Addison froze.
Empty life?
“Addison?” a feminine voice whispered outside her tent. “Are you awake?”
She was grateful for Avery’s interruption, because she didn’t want to unpack the meaning of that phrase. She wasn’t going back to an empty life; she was going back to the chance to pursue a long-held dream.
At least, she hoped she was. If Felicity decided to be a stickler for the rules, she was really going back to a nonexistent actuarial job and a nonexistent apartment in Hartford. Or to a hole-in-the-wall apartment in New York City where she’d have to take whatever job came her way, for now.
“I’m here,” she whispered back. “Hold on; I’ll be right out.” When guests stayed at the manor, the women took turns sleeping up there to be on call during the night. Addison had gotten used to the fact that it took help to get in and out of her Regency gowns, so she was glad the others always made sure someone was in Base Camp. Avery was an early riser, so this wasn’t the first time they’d assisted each other.
She welcomed Avery’s whispered chatter as they walked to the bunkhouse, where they took turns showering and primping in the bathroom. By the time they were dressed there was a lineup for the single inside shower, but Addison knew Kai and some of the other men would use the outdoor ones, even in this cool weather. She wasn’t nearly that tough, although the thought of Kai naked and lathered up was intriguing.
She found herself watching Kai as they prepped for breakfast, all too aware that in just a few days she’d be gone and wouldn’t ever be this near him again. She’d never guessed this would become so painful. If Felicity had wanted to shake her up, she’d done a good job.
Avery met her at the manor door later that morning with a fistful of RSVPs for the ball. “It’s going to be the event of the season.”
Her words hit Addison like a fist to the gut. The event of the season.
And she wasn’t going to be there.
What was she doing leaving all of this behind? Could she really go back to New York—or Connecticut—and make a life half this good?
Addison was torn. On the one hand, she was enjoying herself so much here. She had built-in friends, engaging work, a man who took her breath away.
On the other hand, this was a ranch in Montana—and it would always be a ranch in Montana. She could throw a hundred balls and there wouldn’t be any red carpets or paparazzi. Her events wouldn’t be written up in the society pages. And Kai was no millionaire—
“Addison? Are you okay?” Avery touched her arm, concern written in her face. “Come to the kitchen. Let’s get you a cup of t
ea.”
Addison followed her automatically, her mind wheeling. Paparazzi? Society pages. A millionaire? Was that what she was after?
Who was she trying to be… Felicity?
She sat down hard in the chair Avery pulled out for her in the kitchen and took the cup of tea when Avery placed it in her hands. She was grateful no camera crews had followed her here.
Because it occurred to her that’s exactly what she’d been doing for years; waiting for an opportunity to become Felicity. And that was—awful.
It wasn’t true, she decided. Not really.
She didn’t want to have her sister’s relationship with their mother. Didn’t secretly have a thing for Evan. Didn’t want to be a model.
But she wanted the glamour, the attention, the self-confidence… the penthouse.
And she’d been putting off moving forward with her own life out of fear she couldn’t attain any of that.
She groaned. “What am I doing?”
Avery looked at her in alarm. “I don’t know. What are you doing? Are you having second thoughts about Kai?”
Addison shook her head. About Kai? No.
About herself. About the way she was wasting her life. She’d been waiting for a fairy godmother to come and change her into someone like her sister. That was never going to happen, though. Even if she attained her dream and became a fantastic event planner, she’d never have Felicity’s life.
She had to make her own.
She didn’t even know where to begin.
Except…
Addison looked around. Here she was in a manor kitchen, in a Regency gown, on a sustainable ranch, participating in a reality television show in which she was supposed to marry her dream man.
Maybe she should begin right here.
“I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to…”
“Breathe,” Avery told her. “Just breathe a moment.” She demonstrated, and Addison tried to follow her cues. She was dizzy. Her head swimming.
Why had she ever wanted Felicity’s life anyway?
It wasn’t like she hated herself. She had her own work. Her own hobbies. Her parties. She loved her parties. She’d never done those to be like Felicity. She did them out of love.
“I’m good at throwing parties,” she said aloud.
Avery nodded. “I can tell. You really love working on the ball.”
“I do. But—” Could she say it out loud? Would Avery understand? “I’ve been going off course. Trying not to be me. Trying to be someone else.”
Avery nodded again. “Who do you want to be?”
“I don’t know.” She hated feeling so unsure.
“But you know you like parties,” Avery said, and a smile quirked her lips. “I’m not trying to be sarcastic. It’s something to hold on to. What else do you think you like?”
Addison was more grateful than she could say that Avery hadn’t run the minute she started talking nonsense. It was as if Avery understood where she was coming from. Her practical questions were helping.
“I like this.” Addison gestured to their surroundings. “I like being here. Having people to talk to all the time. Live-in friends,” she added shyly.
“It’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?” Avery agreed.
Addison swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I love the manor. And I love Base Camp, too.” She realized it was true; she loved the rough, camping-style camaraderie she’d found there. “I love being with everyone. And—” She broke off, not sure if she should go on.
“And?” Avery prompted.
“I like Kai,” Addison whispered. “A lot.”
“Sounds like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be,” Avery said.
Addison found herself blinking back tears. “But I’m not in the right place at all. I’m supposed to—” She snapped her mouth shut and buried her head in her hands.
“You’re supposed to what?” Avery leaned forward and touched her arm, suddenly serious. “What are you supposed to do, Addison? Did Montague send you to mess things up?”
Shocked, Addison’s tears dried up. “No. Of course not.”
“But you didn’t come here to marry Kai, did you?”
Addison bit her lip. Now she’d really blown it, and Avery was going to hate her; everyone would. She slowly shook her head. “I thought it was all fake,” she said helplessly.
“Fake? You mean the show?” Avery dropped her hand and leaned back. “But then—” Her eyes grew wide. “You thought you were coming to play a part? Are you an actress?”
“No. It was my sister’s idea. Because of this stupid book I was reading.” Addison realized there was nothing for it except to explain the whole thing, so she did, starting with the day Felicity came up with the idea of the month of yes. Avery, to her credit, listened to her without comment. When Addison was done, she sat quietly, as if considering what to say.
“What should I do?” Addison asked her when she couldn’t take it anymore.
“I think you should keep saying yes.”
Addison blinked. “But—”
“You just told me you love it here, you love the work, you love the company, the manor, Base Camp—and Kai.”
“I didn’t say I loved him.”
“You said you like him. A lot.”
“There’s a difference.”
“Is there?”
“I’ve known him five days!” Addison realized she was twisting the fabric of her dress in her fingers. She let it go and tried to smooth out the wrinkles.
“Which is why you need to stay until you really get to know him. He might be the love of your life,” Avery argued.
“But if he isn’t, he won’t have time to find someone else.”
“Don’t underestimate Boone,” Avery said darkly. “He’ll marry Kai off whether it’s to you or someone else. Why not take a chance and see if it should be you? I can tell Kai wants it to be. Addison, you should see the way he looks at you. He’s fallen for you, hard. Don’t you owe it to him to see if you could love him back?”
“I promised myself I’d leave in one week. That it was the right thing to do.”
“Well, I’m telling you it’s the wrong thing to do. You need to stay here through the ball, at the very least. You can’t leave us all in the lurch when you said you’d take care of it. One more week. Then, if you still want to go back to New York, Kai will have more than a week to find your replacement.”
Addison winced. Her replacement?
Avery smiled. “See? You’d better stay, hadn’t you?”
“I guess so.” Avery was right; she had said she’d run the ball, and no matter how she tried to convince herself otherwise, she had fallen for Kai.
“Then it’s settled. You’re staying through Halloween. I won’t tell anyone what you told me until you let me know what your decision is after the ball. But Addison—try to love him, okay? We need you.”
Addison nodded. She wouldn’t have to try. She was halfway there already.
“Go wash your face, and when you come back we’ll get to work,” Avery said gently.
“Okay.”
Avery caught her hand as she walked by. “You’re meant to be here; you’ll see.”
After freshening up, Addison forcibly turned her attention to her chores, refusing to acknowledge her relief at gaining a week’s reprieve from leaving Kai. She and Avery talked over her plans for the event until Mrs. Wood arrived to finalize the menu and the B and B guests began to appear for breakfast.
When they were done, Maud and James Russell came by to pick up Mrs. Wood and insisted on taking Addison for a short drive.
“How are the preparations coming?” Maud asked when they were rattling down the lane. Addison loved the slow pace of the carriage and the way it made it seem they had all the time in the world to get where they were going.
“Quite well, thank you,” Addison told her.
Maud fixed her with a sharp, knowing look and pronounced, “You are a party person. I recognize you be
cause James and I are, too. There’s nothing we enjoy more than planning a party.”
“We like to make people happy,” James put in, turning around on his high seat from where he held the horses’ reins.
“But sometimes people make it so hard,” Maud said. “Even Avery and her friends here at the manor. They don’t want to take advantage of us.”
“They don’t let us take advantage of them, either,” James said. “All these potential party guests, and we’re banned from throwing parties.”
“Not all the time, you understand,” Maud said. “But we have to plan them carefully.”
“We count weeks on the calendar, you know,” James added. “Tricky business. Not the way parties are supposed to be at all.”
“We confuse them by varying the type of get-togethers we hold,” Maud said. “Dinner parties, dances, musical evenings…” She counted on her fingertips.
“But they catch on.” James frowned.
“They invite us back.” Maud steepled her fingers. “Very tiresome, this business of tit-for-tat entertaining.”
“You see, it isn’t the same.”
“Oh, it’s very nice at Westfield, don’t you know,” Maud hurried to explain, “and I enjoy being feted now and then as much as anyone, but—”
She broke off, apparently at a loss for words. Addison hadn’t thought that was possible.
“But you see,” James continued for her, “we like to be the ones giving the parties.”
“I completely understand.” Pleased to finally get a word into the conversation, Addison made the most of it. “Tell you what. As long as I’m here, I’ll do what I can to make them accept.”
“Splendid!” Maud and James seemed very happy, and Addison had to smile. She knew the Russells could help her make events at Westfield extraordinary.
Unless she went home.
“My dear,” Maud said. “You seem made for Westfield. Are you happy here?”
“Yes,” Addison told her truthfully, and she wondered again if she should stay for good.
Mornings were far better for birdwatching than afternoons, but as desperate as Kai was to spend some time with Addison, he’d take any excuse he could get. Breakfast and lunch came far too close together for him to have much time to spare mid-morning. As they washed and dried dishes from the noon-day meal, Kai asked casually, “Can you spare an hour when we’re done?”
