by CORY CYR
“Dad, you hired someone to babysit me as though I’m some child. You could have had a local veterinarian come in, but you went and hired some guy from California. So I’m having a hard time believing how much you trust me.” Riley accused, pushing away from me
His expression was one of hurt. He didn’t understand my decision to hire Dr. Tobin wasn’t about trust, but legally had to be done. I also wanted him to have a life outside of the business.
“You know that’s not true. You have your classes. I was hoping it might free up some of your time so maybe you could pretend to have fun. And he wasn’t hired to babysit you. He’s there to supervise and manage. You act as though we had a choice. We needed a licensed vet to run the clinic. You’ll only be supervised for three years, Riley. The minute you have that degree, then the business is all yours.
“This veterinarian came highly recommended and wasn’t opposed to relocating. I know it’s hard to believe, but not everyone wants to live in Alaska. Go figure.” I was doing my best to keep our conversation light because Riley was extremely astute. “Let’s hope since Dr. Tobin is closer to your age, you’ll be able to develop a good working relationship. When you’re ready to take it over, it will be your choice whether or not you want him to stay.
“Because the clinic has flourished over the past ten years, I always considered having an on-call vet for home emergencies, one for in house, and one outside. I honestly feel it would be beneficial to Protected Paws, offering something no other animal clinic has in Fairbanks. Riley, you have time to figure this all out. And remember I’m only a phone call away. I know it’s a long flight, but if you need me, I’d come home. I’ll always be here for you.”
Riley stood, pulling on the hem of his shirt. A quietly snoring Gray had settled by our feet.
“I understand. I promise you the business will prosper, and I won’t destroy the house. I’m sure I’ll be too busy to have boisterous parties.”
I frowned. “You’re a young man. Please have parties and dabble with girls.”
“Holy shit, Dad. Dabble… seriously? Who says that?” Riley coughed, shaking his head.
“Ever since you and Megan broke up, you seem withdrawn. I’m hoping you’ll get more of a life, more than just work, your best bud, and this beast,” I jested, indicating Gray. “You put all this effort into your body and looks. And for what? I’m only questioning your logic because by the time I was your age—”
Riley’s face blushed deeply as he proceeded to cover my mouth with his hand. “Oh my God, Dad, please. I do not want to hear about the good old days. I’m so confused. You’re worried because I’m too responsible and not like you. I would think you’d give me a medal for not following in your footsteps.”
Embarrassed, I felt a tick beginning in my jaw. “What is it you think you know?” I demanded, standing.
Riley smirked, folding his arms across his chest. “I’d heard rumors, but now I have actual dirt. I know you weren’t a virtuous pillar of the community.”
“Never claimed to be. I always told you the truth about my upbringing. True, I may have omitted some of the seedier incidents of my youth. I tried to be honest without giving you a roadmap to my less-than-honorable moments.”
“Dad, you screwed around. A lot. I’m shocked you had time to squeeze Mom in.”
Sitting down, I remembered bits and pieces from our talk when he was thirteen. I now realized how uncomfortable he’d been. How did a father explain to his son about his sexual youth? Even though Riley acted all studious, it was obvious he could already have similar ambitions, judging from the tattoo. “I loved your mother most of my life. It doesn’t matter who came before her because she was my sole goal. I was lucky enough she forgave my indiscretions and gave me her love. Now, who’s been unearthing my past?”
That awkward sentiment I was currently feeling now mirrored on Riley’s face. He was not one to snitch. I watched as he shifted from left to right. I had a suspicion who had dredged up my teenage years, and my son’s behavior made it an obvious choice.
“You can’t blame the twins. They overheard a conversation between Aunt Trina and Uncle Quinn,” Riley said protectively.
Fuck my sister. Why in the hell was she bringing up shit from so long ago? And allowing her kids to hear it. Goddamn Trina. “It’s hard to defend myself when I don’t know what was said.” Oh, you know what was said.
How the hell was I going to explain to my son that my younger years were spent as a total manwhore before his mother came back? This was the conversation I had avoided all these years.
“Feels weird, doesn’t it, Dad? Kind of like when I was thirteen and you went all postal about me having safe sex and not drinking. Christ, you bought me condoms. Paybacks are a bitch,” he observed sardonically.
The little shit actually smirked. He thought all this was amusing, and it would be if it were happening to someone else.
Damn, maybe there’s an earlier flight.
“I can’t change my past. There’s no taking back the things I’ve done. I’m sorry the twins had to find out their uncle is a reformed manwhore. I can’t believe Dusty and Dexter told you.”
“Well, I am like a god to them, and boys will be boys. The sad part is they now think of you as some rock star of women,” he stated with a smug smile.
I shrugged nonchalantly. There was no defense. At least not one that could be conjured up this minute. “They’re fifteen. They think everyone’s a rock star. It only matters to me what you think.”
“It doesn’t matter, Dad. That’s ancient history. Maybe that’s why you’ve always been so strict with me. I’m not like you. I never will be. Believe it. Maybe I take after Mom.”
My eyes shot up. “You have my genes, but you were cursed with both our looks. I’m never going to tarnish your mom’s reputation. But I will say her virtue should not be idolized. We both sowed many wild oats in our day… Now, are we done with this interrogation? Because none of this negates the fact I still worry about you.”
“You’ve been suffocating me for years. I’m fine. I’ll be okay. You can let go. Both you and Mom can go have your adventure. You said you trusted me. Now prove it.”
CHAPTER TWO
Riley
M aybe a parade was in order. My parents finally got on their delayed flight a few hours ago. I could exhale.
I patted Gray’s head when he followed me into the kitchen. After pouring a large bowl of kibble, I set it on the floor. Considering how hungry I was, the dog food he was wolfing down was beginning to look good. I was no cook, so maybe takeout was in order. I found the menus and began rifling through them, finally settling on pizza. Forty minutes later, I sat down to a steaming-hot pepperoni deluxe. I hadn’t realized I’d overestimated my hunger until taking the first bite. Wiping the grease on my jeans, I sighed in discontent.
I should be thrilled because I had the house all to myself. I’d moved into the upstairs bedroom yesterday. It was much larger and had its own bath. Laughing to myself, I was surprised my mom hadn’t tried to ship that antique clawfoot tub to their new place. My dad would have no choice but to procure one in the near future, once they settled into the house.
I rather envied them. Sunshine, regular daylight hours, and shorts all year round. I’d never move; I loved Alaska. Although, never having lived anywhere else, I had nothing to compare it with. For all the darkness and cold-ass winters, it was home.
For me, it was different. I’d been raised in frigid temperatures and adapted, but this new vet, he was in for a shocking revelation. All these questions rolling around in my head made me highly suspicious of why this Dr. Tobin would leave the sunshine state of California to take a job in Fairbanks. It’s one thing to love your job. It’s very different to uproot yourself and choose such a different climate. I didn’t buy it. There was something else going on here.
Maybe I was just pissed and needed to take out my anger on someone. It wasn’t his fault. Not really. But I was still curious. What kind of person re
locates from bikinis and oranges to snowshoes and icicles? You could be a veterinarian anywhere.
A familiar sound broke the silence. It was a Skype call. Jesus, had the plane even landed yet? Was this how it was going to be? My parents checking up on me every five minutes. Sheesh.
I flipped the laptop around to answer it.
“Hey, baby bro. How goes it?”
I glanced at the screen and my sister’s face. “Shouldn’t you be crashed? It’s early morning there,” I teased, flopping on the sofa with my PC in hand.
She shook her head. “Alyx and I just got home. You know those exclusive fashion parties.” Holly yawned.
“And your very first thought was to call me? How kindhearted,” I replied skeptically with a pregnant pause. “Mom told you to call, huh?”
“Of course, but it’s not like it’s a major effort. We haven’t talked in two weeks. So how goes it, oh quiet one?”
“Very funny. First I get an hour or two from Mom last week. Then Dad stopped by earlier today. I guess he didn’t want to hang out while you and Mom got all sentimental on Skype. He decided to come over here and get all touchy feely with me. It was so annoying. I mean, I’ll miss them… eventually,” I admitted.
“They have your best interests at heart. They just worry. I do, too. My wish is that you would confide in me and tell your sister what’s bugging you. You’ve acted weird for two years now… What am I saying? You’ve been strange your whole life.”
I shrugged. “I’d say growing pains, but that opens me up to a bigger conversation with you, and I doubt you want to stay awake for that.”
Her fingers swept across the screen as if she were touching my face. “I love you, Ri, no matter what. It bothers me that you’re so alone.”
I inhaled, then exhaled loudly. “I swear this is some kind of conspiracy between you and Dad. You do realize loneliness is a state of mind. Just because I’m not the party animal you are doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. My life is fine, and I’m good. I swear.”
“Okay, fine. Any juicy gossip?” my sister asked.
“Hell yes. Are you sitting? Of course you are. Knowing what a booze hound you are, I doubt you could stand after your late-night function,” I emphasized. “Did you know Dad was doing girls at thirteen?” I gushed with amusement.
Holly cleared her throat and chuckled. “Um, so was I,” she emphatically stated.
I choked in disbelief. “Christ, did you have to go there? Can you hold on while I find the bleach to scrub my brain? I so did not need that information. God, Holly, not everyone needs to know your business.”
“Calm down. You’re not everybody. You’re my brother. What the hell, Ri? Did you think I just woke up one morning and was gay? I was like this from birth. And how is it some front-page news that Dad fucked around? I thought you knew he was kind of a big deal back in the day. Shea Michaels nailed every woman in Fairbanks.”
“So many things I didn’t have to know. Here I thought my dad was without reproach, only to find out from the twins—who, by the way, now look at their uncle as though he is some kind of legend. I just always thought of Dad as totally devoted to Mom, like they’d always been together.”
“Oh, you are naive. Did you forget Mom is… what, thirteen years older? Aunt Trina needs to tell you the whole story. He loved Mom. Always. Just because you bang someone doesn’t mean you’re forever committed. Sex can be just a good time, a way to—”
“Stop. We are not having this conversation. I wonder how Alyx would feel if she knew having sex doesn’t mean anything.”
“Oh, brother, it means everything if we’re talking about the love of my life. Being with Alyx is all I’ve ever wanted. I waited for the right woman before I made a commitment, but up until then, yeah, I had tons of sex. It doesn’t make me a bad person, just an experienced one. I’m sure you get that.”
“Whatever. I do not want to discuss your, our parents’, or anyone else’s sexual adventures. It’s causing brain damage,” I protested.
“Okay, enough about everyone else’s love life. What’s going on with you? Any new girls on the front since Megan?”
I shook my head. “I don’t really have the time between work and school. And since Dad hired some other vet who’s starting at the clinic in two days, I almost feel as though I’m beginning all over again. It pisses me off. Oh, he said he did it so I could free up some of my time, but it feels as though he doesn’t trust me.”
“Bullshit, Riley. Mom and Dad inexplicably trust you much more than they ever did me. You were always the consummate child. You forget how wild I was growing up. I was supposed to be setting an example for you, and I never did. Speeding tickets, drinking, and shoplifting. I know they termed it adolescent mischief, but I was always worried they’d be harder on you because of me.”
“Agreed, the constant suffocation was kind of a drag. I thought that once I reached this age, they would give me some slack on the noose. But no, I feel as though they’ve tightened it.”
“Oh, Ri, they’ve kept you in a bubble since you were born. I think almost losing you pushed Dad over the edge. For Mom it was different because she basically slept through it all.” Holly reflected sadly. “But Dad, he witnessed everything. I was three at the time, so I don’t remember jack, but from what Aunt Trina said, he was a mess. I don’t think he ever meant to stifle you. It’s just his own upbringing was terribly violent and emotionless. He wanted better for us. And for the most part, our parents did a good job. Well, at least with me,” she joked.
“Bite me. I know you said you moved to Rome for your career, but I’m thinking it was those seventeen unpaid tickets.”
“Wait, huh? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it was a good thing you left, because when Dad found out about those, shit hit the fan. He was really pissed.”
“Well, lucky for me he never brought it up. Maybe I should send them money.” She paused. “No, fuck that. It will just dredge up old crap. I’ve matured quite a lot since then. Do me a favor, will ya? Go out, get laid, and act twenty. Sometimes you remind me of a middle-aged man, like Dad.”
I scoffed. “Is that a compliment, because Dad sometimes acts as though he’s still in his twenties?”
“It’s all the sex he and Mom have.”
“Good-bye,” I said abruptly. “Go to bed. Isn’t it late? You need your beauty sleep… and I mean that seriously. I see crow’s feet.”
“God, you’re a D-bag. Skype ya later.” She feigned anger.
My eyebrows rose as I closed my laptop.
It wasn’t late and the snow had stopped, so I decided to take the dog for a walk. I snagged my down jacket, gloves, and beanie off the hook as we exited the house. Shit, it was freezing. Okay, dumbass, what did you expect in January?
I muzzled Gray and headed up the block. It felt odd passing the home my dad grew up in. It was sold before I was born, so I’d only heard bits and pieces about it. I knew some of my father’s abusive background, but he never went into specific detail. I’m sure it was to spare me.
I had good relationships with my Aunt Trina and Uncle Quinn, as well as the twin boys they adopted when I turned five. My mom and I had had a uniquely close relationship. We talked all the time. Not having her around was going to hurt the most. That would be a major void. I loved my dad, but sometimes he gave me the feeling that his expectations were too high. I knew more about him than I’d said. He made me worry that I would never be good enough. I’d never excelled—not as he had. I never confided in my mom about this because my parents were different. Both were bonded at the hip. Always together, and they never kept secrets.
I’d always known I would never have that kind of love. That kind of relationship wasn’t in the cards for me. After trying many times and failing, it was obvious some things weren’t meant to be. I should be honest; I’d never put in any real effort. I was too afraid it would never live up to the expectation of love I hoped for. The bloodline might end with
my dad. Holly and Alyx could adopt or do some surrogate thing, but well, I was just a loser at relationships. The apple definitely had fallen far from the tree. I was never going to mimic Shea Michaels’s reputation.
It was too damn cold. I pleaded with Gray to do his thing, and once he had, we quickly retreated to the house. Even though the streets were clear and the snow had stopped, its return was imminent. I could smell it in the air. Maybe Dr. Tobin would freak at the weather and hightail it back to sunny California. Wishful thinking on my part.
My dad was right. Legally, there had to be a licensed veterinarian on staff. My wish was that I could complete my classes sooner. Of course, giving up my hours at the clinic would give me more time to complete my courses. But the interaction with the animals as well as their owners was my favorite part of working. I would have to buck up and be cordial to this new doctor. Creating a hostile workplace wouldn’t be in my best interest, but it didn’t mean I had to like it or accept it. But I guess that was part of being an adult and a professional. I couldn’t change it, so as with the weather, I would have to learn to adapt.
CHAPTER THREE
Riley
I hated Mondays. Early-ass classes, then four hours at the clinic. I’d admit working at Protected Paws was the better of the two. Although, today it meant meeting Dr. Tobin for the first time. Not necessarily the highlight of my day. Yesterday was spent straightening up the house, doing laundry, and buying food for the week. I might not be able to cook worth a damn, but my mom had taught me a basic skill set when it came to microwaving. At least in order to survive.
Standing at the closet, fingering my ties, I could hear Holly whispering in my ear, “Wear the green because it brings out the color of your eyes.” Such was the life of having a sister who is obsessed with fashion. I decided to forgo a dress shirt and tie, putting on a dark-jade sweater instead. It was too cold, and college was laidback. Plus, I didn’t care about Dr. Tobin’s opinion.
