by CORY CYR
I was grateful for the dark after we showered and went back to his room. Disappointment echoed in his voice after he’d asked me to stay in his bed. As much as I wanted the safety of his powerful arms holding me through the worst of the storm, I refused his offer. I knew if I stayed, it would always mean more to him than me.
The plan I had in the beginning was crumbling at my feet. I thought this was what I wanted, to have the one thing my mother couldn’t. Now, as much as I thirsted for Riley and the life he could offer, I’d changed my mind. I couldn’t do this to him. Once he found out who I was, that knowledge would change everything. I knew regardless of the way I was beginning to feel about Riley or if he came to love me, the secret I held would make him hate me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Riley
I woke up stiff. Everywhere. Last night was quite a workout.
Brr… Even with the central heat on, it was freezing. As I pulled on a sweatshirt and my sweatpants, I stared out the window. Whiteout conditions. We were housebound, including Gray. He had already been exiled from my room last night. Now not only did he have to stay indoors, but it was late and he hadn’t been fed. God, I was a bad dog owner.
After grabbing a pair of socks, I strolled down the steps. Bacon, I loved that scent. My stomach growled at the thought of food. Fuck, I was hungry as hell.
The fire was blazing, but I stopped to toss on extra logs. I then followed the aroma to the kitchen. Gray was sleeping on the rug next to Gabe as she stood at the stove. On the counter were a hat, gloves, and scarf. She was dressed in all thermals, showing every curve. My dog looked up at me, then closed his eyes. Obviously, I wasn’t the only one content.
“Holy shit, you scared me,” she said as the spatula crashed to the floor.
I chuckled. “Sorry, but I needed to feed Gray and let him go to the bathroom. Then I want to eat some of that bacon. I mean, if you made enough for two.”
“Gray’s been fed, and I already took him out to the garage so he could potty. I’m surprised he could even go, but he peed quickly because it’s damn cold. And of course I made enough for us. I want both my boys satisfied.” Her eyes glimmered.
I raised an eyebrow, taking in her meaning.
She put an omelet with bacon and hash browns on a plate. “You want coffee?” she asked, setting the food on the table.
“God, yes. A whole pot,” I implored.
Gabe laughed as she set a large mug in front of me. Then, after filling another plate, she sat next to me. The breakfast was good, the coffee was great, the house was warm—and this felt way too domestic. Even my dog liked her.
I remembered her words from last night. It’s only sex. Last night’s event scrambled my thinking. Where we went from here was up for debate. It appeared she was running the show, and if I agreed to sex without strings, we could continue our liaison.
The house shook from a strong gust. I saw the worry on her face. My hand covered hers without even thinking about it. “Just wind. It goes with the snow and rain. You lived with wildfires in California. I would think you’d be used to it.”
“We only had strong winds, ones without snow, sleet, and rain.”
“Didn’t think out your relocation, did you?” I asked seriously.
Her body stiffened defensively as if I’d hit a nerve. “Of course I did, but reading about the climate isn’t the same as being here,” she snapped, then paused. “Can we change the subject? I don’t really want to expand on why I moved here. Tell me about your skin art.”
Dropping her hand, I wondered why she was suddenly offended.
“Okay, subject change. I got my tattoo because I wanted people to think I had sex. Pretty sad, huh? I wish I could give you a more suitable answer, but that’s the truth. My dad had different reasons for getting tattoos. But it didn’t matter because it made women more accessible. I never wanted him to know I was a failure with girls. Of course, that was by choice. But I was afraid my reasons wouldn’t matter to him, so I never told him the truth. I couldn’t. It would have killed me to admit I hadn’t followed in his footsteps.”
Her cheeks turned pink as if I’d exposed too much. “I’m not a therapist. I don’t need to know your personal shit.”
What the fuck? “Jesus, Gabe, you chose the topic. Obviously, you’re not interested, and that’s fine. We’ll talk about something else I deem serious. We didn’t use protection. Theoretically, I didn’t have condoms anyway, but I wanted to ask about you.”
She tilted her chair back. “I had an IUD inserted a few months back. I wasn’t sure if I’d find a doctor right away, so I decided to take care of it prior. There is nothing for you to be concerned about. I’m good. And knowing you’d never had sex, I had no doubts you were safe. As far as my sexual history is concerned, I got checked thoroughly when I got new birth control,” she revealed. “So you need not be apprehensive. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything is copacetic.”
“Sorry if you feel as though I got too personal, but I assumed screwing and anal was way more intimate than asking about birth control. I’m glad we cleared the air. I should have figured you were on something, considering you came on to me. You made the first move and clearly are used to getting your way.” I curled my fist, hoping to evoke a response.
“You sound angry. Didn’t you have a good time?”
“I guess I am irritated because you’re making last night appear insignificant and what we did seem sleazy, as though it meant nothing to you. Do you take advantage of younger men all the time? Did taking my virginity stroke your ego?”
“What the hell, Riley? Is all of this rhetoric because we fucked? I thought I made it clear that I’m not looking for anything serious. Can’t we just enjoy each other?”
I bristled at her comment. “You’re right. It meant nothing and was quite enjoyable.” I smirked. “As well as educational. Gee, I never even considered butt fucking until I met you.”
Gabe reddened. “It seems to me that you never considered anything, anal or otherwise,” she sarcastically retorted.
I’d had enough. I cleared the dishes to the edge of the table and pulled her out of the chair. “Want to see what a quick study I am?” I asked, bending her across the surface. We were both breathing heavily as I pushed down her thermal bottoms. After I slipped down my sweats, I rubbed the globes of her ass. I was hard and thick.
With a finger, I tested her pussy. She was drenched. If I were truly a bastard, I’d walk away right now. But I wanted her, or rather what she was offering. I wasn’t angry because she rejected any kind of relationship. I was annoyed at her cavalier attitude, as though I didn’t matter. And now I was in the position to return the favor. Precum wet the crown of my cock. I slid into her easily, and God, it felt good.
I placed my hand on her back so she couldn’t move as I drove into her. I’d only had lessons last night, and now I felt like a pro. I leaned into her as I moved my hand from her back and seized both hips. I wanted to fuck for hours, but I hadn’t mastered control of my dick yet. Perhaps restraint would come with continual sex. Then I would be able to hold back my climax. But for now, I wanted to fill her to the brim.
Bending across her, I licked the shell of her ear. “Are you ready to come, or should I put my cock into your ass?” I hardly recognized my voice. Where the hell did this sure-as-shit attitude come from? Was I so angry with Gabe that I was becoming someone else?
“Fuck me harder, Riley,” she begged.
I pumped faster, probably leaving fingertip bruises on her hips. Twisting my body, I growled as my release spilled inside her. My hair was damp, and my body had begun to perspire. I also felt rattled. This behavior wasn’t my nature.
I pulled out slowly, wanting to retreat into my room. I tucked myself back into my sweats, then gingerly pulled her pants back up.
Gabe stood, her legs quivering, appearing dazed. “I love the fact that you took the initiative. Makes me proud,” she croaked.
“I’m going upstairs,” I spit out, making my wa
y toward the stairs.
She grabbed my arm. “Why are you so hostile? You just took a woman of your own volition. It felt good, right?”
I spun around. “You make everything sound meaningless. Maybe this is the norm for you and you did this all the time in California. But this is not me.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed. You seemed quite at ease while you were inside me.” She let go of my arm and caught my hand. “Let’s not fight. Don’t you think it’s too early in our relationship to argue?” She spoke nonchalantly.
“Ohmigod, are you insane? Did my dad know that when he hired you?”
“Very funny. I’m not crazy, just being practical. Riley, we are in a relationship, just not a romantic one. I was being honest. I like you, and well, the sex is much better than I thought it would be. So let’s not ruin it by throwing emotional bullshit into the mix.”
Okay, if I were any other man, this would be a dream come true. A perfect arrangement. Maybe I was looking at this the wrong way. I could take what I wanted, have her at my disposal, and apply all the sex I had to the future. This was an opportunity I could use to my advantage. But then I was no better than Kai. The only difference was Gabe knew the score and accepted it. Hell, she was begging for it.
Be careful, she’ll get under your skin and in your head. She doesn’t want you. Not like you want her.
“Okay, I accept your terms of just fucking, no serious attachment.” Because I can’t have you any other way. This is akin to emotional blackmail, and I’ve said yes.
She laughed, crossing her arms. “Should we have a contract drawn up, all Fifty Shades like? Gray can be the witness.”
“Not necessary. Besides, I have no playroom and pain will never be my thing.” I let go of her hand and strolled up the stairs.
Dropping onto the bed, I turned on the radio. The weather report said at least three days of heavy snow, maybe more.
I opened my door and called for the dog. He was there in seconds. Lying back on the bed, I had him lie next to me. There wasn’t a lot to do on days like this but sleep. Having Gabe here… Well, that could change.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Riley
T houghts of Gabe and what we had done made it impossible to go back to sleep. Could I get myself into the mindset of not caring and just enjoying what she was offering? I had proved to her and myself that I could take what I wanted. But it filled me with shame that I had done that to her. Was sex the culprit that made my best friend such an asshole? Would I eventually become someone I disliked? Oh, to be able to close my eyes and be like my dog, who was snoring away stretched out across my bed, not a care in the world.
I wondered what Gabe’s end game was. If this was all about sex, hell, she could have banged Kai. But maybe my virginity had been the appealing part. Maybe it was all about control. Unfortunately, she knew now that I too could take what I desired if she pushed me too far.
I patted Gray as he yawned, opening his eyes.
After a few hours, I finally got up and threw on a pair of jeans with another sweatshirt, then brushed my teeth and combed my hair. My cell phone started ringing, and I had to search through my bed to find it.
“Hey, just checking to see how you’re holding up. This weather is crazy,” Kai said.
“Nothing unusual for me. I would think after five years, you’d be used to it.” I chuckled.
“I feel trapped. I’m all alone.” He whined.
I laughed harder this time. “Oh, please. I kind of do feel sorry for you since I’m guessing no one can make it over due to the snow. But you’ve got porn. Watch that.”
“Mmm… says the guy who has a female roomie. Must not be too bad.”
You have no idea. “I’ve been sleeping, hanging out with Gray.”
“Damn, Riley, have I taught you nothing? You have a perfectly bangable chick downstairs. I think you could find other ways to stay warm. I’m very disappointed in you. Remind me. Why are we best friends?” Kai snorted into the phone.
“I’m hanging up now,” I said sarcastically, shaking my head.
I’d never kiss and tell. Hell, I’d never had anything to tell anyway. And since I felt tentative about what had happened between us, he really didn’t need to know.
I pulled on my ski socks and boots so I could take Gray out to the garage.
He ran ahead of me as Gabe met me at the bottom of the stairs. The kiss between us was as natural as taking a breath. It felt raw and exposed. Our lips sealed together, and I felt a hunger I’d never known. Ravenous.
“I’m sorry for how I acted and what I said,” Gabe revealed as she broke the kiss but left her hands pressed against my chest. She smelled of lemons and scented soap.
The sudden urge to protect her with my entire being overwhelmed me. Mine. It wasn’t just the sex, but an unbridled connection with a woman I didn’t really know. As I enveloped her with my arms, I positioned her head under my chin. Holding her, I felt an agonizing fear, as though this was the last moment of contentment we’d share.
“I want to fuck you again.” I’d never said those words to anyone, and it was as if I were attempting to be Kai.
She stepped back from my embrace and pulled off her shirt. As I became hard, staring at her lacy red bra, I licked my lips. She unclasped the front, and I reached for her, grasping an ample breast with each hand. The texture was smooth and supple. I bent to suckle a swollen nipple, and she began to rub my cock through my jeans. I grabbed both of her hands with my right one. If she continued, I’d be coming but not inside her.
“I want to be deep inside your hot flesh.” I cringed, hearing my words. Christ, where is this coming from?
Gabe seemed unsettled at my words, but she began pushing down her thermals.
“I’ll meet you in your bed. I need to take care of Gray first.”
She kicked off her pants, and I almost fell to my knees when an obviously damp triangle of panties came into view.
“Don’t be that long,” Gabe announced brazenly as she dipped two fingers into the waistband of her underwear. I watched her strut to my sister’s room as she shimmed off her last piece of clothing.
“Okay, buddy,” I commented to Gray as I put on a coat. “Do your bathroom shit fast. I’m in pain here.” His dislike of the cold concrete was obvious. He found his doggy pad and did his thing. I stepped behind him and cleaned it up as he ran into the house. Shaking off the cold and bitter temperature, I got him some food, then hung my outerwear.
As I walked to the bedroom, the thought of screwing someone in my sister’s room seemed perverse.
The blinds were closed, and Gabe had turned on a lamp. “I wanted to watch you fuck me,” she whispered lazily as she widened her legs.
“You keep talking like that and I’m never going to get these pants off.”
“You started it,” she argued before ducking under the covers. “Come keep me warm.” I knew under those blankets was a naked body, erect nipples, and a glistening, bare pussy.
I pulled the sweatshirt over my head, tossing it on the floor. My dick throbbed, wanting out. I could barely unbutton my jeans. Finally, I was able to kick off my pants, leaving me as nude as her.
Gabe’s arms wavered, begging me to come to her, and I covered her body with mine beneath the quilts.
I had spent so many years on foreplay. I wanted to forgo it and go straight to intercourse. “Would you mind if we skip the prelim shit? I need to be inside you badly,” I asked as I ground my lips into her neck.
“I guess no one ever told you that foreplay can come after. Of course, you wouldn’t have known that. I’m dying to know how you kept your virginity so long. You’re good-looking, built, and educated, so how is it no woman was able to talk you into actual sex? How did you keep it in your pants?”
I chuckled in amazement. “I didn’t keep it in my pants. It came out quite a lot, but for nothing else but hand jobs and oral.” I stopped to look at her. “You think I’m good-looking?”
Her face turned awa
y from me. “You know you are. You have everything a woman would want in a man. You’re perfect—for someone else.”
She doesn’t want me.
I had hoped what we’d agreed on before wasn’t absolute, but now she had reinforced her words. My immaturity was truly showing, not recognizing she wasn’t interested. I mean, why should she? Gabe was thirty, and in three years, when her contract was up, she’d probably move on. The Alaskan weather wasn’t for everyone.
In my mind, her reason for leaving would always be the seasons. But I knew in reality that she didn’t share my feelings. What we were doing was passing the time and getting pleasure from each other. But being with her like this stirred something I’d never known. And it decimated me to know what we were doing meant nothing to her. I’d spend the time torturing myself if I didn’t accept this for what it was right now. I couldn’t twist it into a romance she didn’t want. My heart would be ripped out.
She wanted to school me in the art of sex, and I wanted to learn it all. If the only way I could be with her was with rules, then so be it.
I closed my eyes and brushed a kiss against her temple as I plunged forward with a shudder. Gabe’s muscles held me tight as her hips undulated. I groaned as my cock was held in a dominant squeeze. My body responded with my hands washing over her, restraining both of her hands with one of mine.
My length swelled within the walls of her pussy, and I immersed myself, going deeper. Our bodies shone with a fine sheet of sweat, regardless of the cold. I couldn’t control my orgasm, and my hips arched as I convulsed, spilling into her. A euphoric feeling took over as I tried to catch my breath. I slid down Gabe’s body, kissing her breasts and belly, my dick pulsing with every inhalation.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
She coughed as I let go of her hands. “You may have been naive about actual sex, but, Riley Michaels, you were made for fucking. And I love your cock, so don’t apologize for lack of restraint. I want you to lose yourself when you’re inside me.”
