Tingles traced all across my skin. And the light moved in technicolor swirls.
Her eyes lifted as Troy burst in with me in his arms. And her mouth slowly drifted open.
“What they hell did he do to her? She’s been calling out for that guy Darcy ever since we left.”
I looked up at him as he propped me up in the chair across from Grace. She took off her glasses and frowned. It made me want to laugh. But I didn’t. In the distance I could hear Darcy calling my name. Why was he back here again? When did that happen?
Look at her. Troy’s voice rose. He waved his hand in front of my face creating a dazzling display of light trails. “She’s like a zombie or something.”
“Calm down. I’m sure the serum will wear off.” Grace frowned, as she studied my face. Her fingers gently pulled down the skin under each of my eyes. What was she looking for? And why couldn't I move.
“When? Before or after she loses her mind?” he said tersely.
“You know the methods used in treating these cases are unorthodox. That is why they work.” Grace said stepping back.
“The crazy old man drugged her with something that could set this monster loose in her mind. No one knows what will happen.”
“I’m not condoning his methods, but if you had come to me first—“
“So is that your plan too? Drug everyone into forgetting their past?” He scoffed. “As if that’s the solution to our problems.” He leaned in. “It didn’t work on me. It’s not going to work on her.”
Grace didn’t respond, but fixed her gaze on the far side of the room for a moment. Then she folded her hands and laid them on the desk in front of her. “Obviously you know that’s not entirely true, or you would still be plagued by the same nightmares.”
“Finding her was supposed to bring an end to my torment. Not add to it.”
He was so angry. Why was he so angry? And what were they arguing about?
“So is this about you, or about her?” she asked patiently.
I wanted to interject. Using all my strength I tried to lift my arm, even move my head. Something anything to let them know I was okay and that I could hear them. Impossible. I was frozen.
Troy snorted. “Don’t use your reverse psychology tactics on me Grace. I’m not your patient anymore.”
She exhaled a sigh. “Take Nora home. There’s nothing more I can do for her tonight. I am sorry the serum isn’t working as intended, but if you had consulted with me before taking her to see the Shaman this could have been different. His methods are too drastic.”
“She insisted on going.” His voice was quieter.
“And you should have known better,” she scolded.
“Don’t worry, I know better now. And I intend on taking her away from here as soon as humanly possible.”
Grace leaned back. “And what good will that do? He will find her. He’s part of her. Until we can extract him from her mind she’ll—“
“She’ll what?” He grit his teeth. “Continue to be your lab rat?”
She recoiled at his words. “I’m trying to help her. To help both of you,” she said pointedly. “I suggest you remember that.”
He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “I know.”
Troy’s eyes searched my face. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him until his furrowed brow relaxed. Instead I was paralyzed in my own body. Darcy’s voice grew louder, closer. I had to find him. To end this. He was destroying everything that was real. I felt my eyes close and my body slump forward, as both Troy and Grace shouted out my name.
*****
Troy was on the outdoor sofa, watching me when I opened my eyes. His beige linen pants were rolled casually at the ankles and his black t-shirt accented his athletic built. It was hard to read the expression on his face, but it landed somewhere between disturbed and relieved. His hair was slightly mussed and his clothes wrinkled like he’d slept there. Which meant I'd been sleeping outside as well. I frowned, trying to remember details from last night. I remembered feeling ill from something I’d eaten. No… something I drank. But I didn't feel sick or tired. I felt, lost. As though everything had changed, and not in a good way.
“How did I get out here?” I sat up, wincing at the ache in my arm. That’s when I noticed what I was wearing, or mostly wasn’t wearing. I wore one of his pale striped shirts, unbuttoned to my chest. And nothing else. I tugged the blanket up higher.
Troy almost looked amused by my latent modesty, considering it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before.
“You woke up after we got back. Said you were hot, and proceeded to take off your clothes. I brought you my shirt. And you fell asleep again after the headshrinker’s potion kicked in”. He set down his coffee. “You were finally sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you, like he said you would. But I couldn't leave your side either, so I slept on the gravity chair.” His face turned grave. “You were dreaming about him.”
Dreaming of Darcy was like that lately. Waking up in a fog, not sure what was happening or where I was. It was like being poised on the knife edge of a dream and a memory, unable to tell which was which. But I didn’t remember dreaming of him last night, although I know I had. It was as if I’d slept a dreamless night.
I blinked against the morning sunlight. “How do you know I was dreaming? Was I calling out his name or something?” Even though I'd warned him that could happen, I'd die of embarrassment if it actually did.
His expression went blank, and he gave a slight shake of his head. “Those screams. They were the stuff of nightmares, not dreams. And when I couldn’t wake you, I started to—”
I knew what he was going to say. He started to worry I'd end up like Celeste. Gone.
I shifted and clutched my arm to my chest. It ached, and I figured it was from sleeping wrong. But this was worse. I tried to move it and cringed in pain.
Troy sat next to me on the lounge chair. His eyes darkened as he studied me.
“He did this to you. Didn't he.”
I managed to nod, before I got up off the lounge chair.
“It’s my shoulder.” I said, “I think I dislocated it.”
“You mean he dislocated it.” I could see the dark rage building in his eyes, and watched it travel all the way down, tensing every muscle in his arms as his hands clenched into fists. He bent his head and pressed a fist to his forehead. “I need to get you to the hospital.”
“No. No hospitals. Seriously. My Granddad used to dislocate his shoulder all the time and grandma said he'd just pop it back in place, back when—” my voice slipped away.
His frowned deepened. “Nora, I don't think this is a good idea. You need medical attention. I'll drive there myself, and then I'll come back here, and find him.”
“Hey.” I tried to reach out my arm, but cried out in pain. Worry lines creased his forehead.
“Just, slam me into the wall and it'll pop back in place.” I moaned.
He lifted his anguished eyes. “I hope to God you're joking right now.”
“Do I sound like I’m joking?”
“Nora....”
“Please Troy, you have no idea how much I hate hospitals. Full of death, and suffering. The smell alone makes me want to hurl. I'm not going.” I insisted. “Besides how would I explain something like this? The guy from my dreams dislocated my arm? We both know they'd see us together, see the bruises, and blame you.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I guess I could reset it," he said darkly. "Since you're apparently the most stubborn girl this side of the equator." He stood up and walked toward the fire pit.
I wanted to smile, but the pain had spread.
“Okay. I grit my teeth. Let's do it.”
“Stand up.” He said.
When I did, pain shot through me. My knees buckled a little, but I managed to stay upright.
He moved closer to me. “Stand in front of me.” I took a tiny step toward him, but the fear of more pain suddenly beat my heart fa
ster and I took a few steps away from him.
Troy sighed. "This will only work if I can reach you."
He moved behind me and I felt the warm length of his body pressed against my back. His chest rose and fell evenly, and his breath caressed my neck. A tiny shiver rippled through me, causing the most delicious sort of pain. He slid one arm over my shoulder across my chest, and the other under my arm. "You ready?"
"Yes. No. I don't know?" I bit down on my lip.
He sighed again. "Are we doing it or not?"
"Do it." I exhaled, my heart racing against his skin. "No wait. Is it going to hurt?"
"Yes."
That was all I remembered before an explosion of agony seared my arm and spread through my whole right side. I felt my legs buckle and my stomach roller coaster with nausea. That was all I remembered.
When I opened my eyes again Troy was pacing the patio like a caged jaguar.
He stopped when he realized I was awake, and his gaze softened for just a second before turning granite hard.
“You okay?”
“Will be,” I said, but this time I didn't try to move.
My arm was wrapped in a makeshift sling, tied firmly around my neck. “Nice. First aid 101.” I said lightly. But Troy’s expression darkened.
“He's the reason for this. He caused you physical pain. I intend to return the favor.”
I cast a furtive glance as his pacing slowed then stopped. “You won't find him,” I said. "I don't even know if he's real or imaginary.”
“You blacked out from pain Nora. That's not imaginary.” I saw the muscle in his jaw work. “If he can cause pain, he can feel it. And he will feel it. I promise you.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I’d never been more grateful for holiday weekends and cool summer nights. Combined, they proved to be incredibly restorative, especially when spent in a pillow top bed under a feather duvet.
I snuggled under the cool coziness of Troy’s bed. It was dark again and smelled like rain, though I had no idea if it was actually raining. Twenty-four hours had passed since our trip to see the witch doctor. It hadn’t taken long for the pain in my arm to disappear, the same way the bruises had quickly vanished too. Darcy’s power was potent, but his damage was short lived. I had no idea what whacked effect the witch doctor’s potion had caused, but I don’t think it did much for my dreams. If anything it was worse now since I couldn't even remember them. Maybe that was part of the process, a step toward not dreaming about him at all. But I didn’t believe that. It was too easy. A thousand dollars for some hot flashes and being naked with Troy, and not even remembering it? Money well spent. Not that he cared about the money, but it was a huge deal to me, and right now I was vicariously feeling ripped off.
There was a light rap on the door before it opened. Troy came in with a tray of food.
“Hey, you’re awake. Must be hungry, since the last thing that went into your mouth was pig’s urine.”
I shifted in the bed as my stomach roiled and he flashed a wicked grin. “Kidding.” He set down the tray on the night table. “Anyway, this will taste better.”
I watched his forearms flex as he set down the tray and poured me some water.
“You know, dinner in bed would be much better with you in it. Better yet, we could just skip dinner all together.” I patted the empty space next to me.
He raised an eyebrow. “How’s your arm.”
I rotated it, demonstrating the full range of motion I had. “Perfectly fine.” I crooked my finger. “So are you coming?”
He hesitated, clearly torn. Inhaling a measured breath, he sat down on the edge of the bed next to me. “Nora. I told you I wasn’t going to make love to you until I could have all of you. Not just your body, but your heart and soul and mind.”
“They already belong to you,” I said quietly. The words were simple and raw, but couldn't have been more honest. Every piece of me that mattered already belonged to him. Now I wanted to give him all that remained.
He moved closer to the bed. “I want you Nora. I've wanted you for a very long time. But I've had the benefit of knowing what I want a lot longer than you have. Are you sure this is what you want.”
“I'm sure you're what I want.” My voice was coated with need. I reached up to tangle my hands in his t-shirt. “I'm done waiting.” I pulled him forward.
He straddled my body, one knee on either side of my hips.
“Last thing I'd want to do is keep a lady waiting,” he said, and I wanted to swallow him whole.
His leg slipped between mine. Then he lowered his mouth to mine.
My hands slid down his chest to the edge of his shirt then grabbed hold and pulled it up over his head. He slipped his arms out effortlessly, but made no move to undress me. As soon as my hands were free I started unbutton my shirt. He watched with a slow burn in his eyes. When I was down to the last button, he pressed his forehead to mine. “Do you have any idea how goddamn gorgeous you are?”
Suddenly I had pangs of guilt gnawing at my insides. Sure, I wanted this, wanted him, more than anything... but what would this do to him? His career, his school, his name. I’d hate to put any of that in jeopardy because of my runaway hormones.
I bit down on my lip, and he pulled back, easing away from me and balancing his weight on his elbow. His eyes searched my face. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?”
“Never. But, being with me could be dangerous for you.”
His mouth quirked up at the corners.
“I’m serious. You heard the threats Steve made. It sounds like the jerky thing he’d carry out.” The words tumbled out quickly. Bringing up the idiot Kenzie was dating was a total a mood killer, but I couldn’t be so selfish, not when he had so much to lose.
“I don’t give a damn about his threats,” he said. “I came from nothing, and I’m not afraid of risking it all for someone I love.” He stroked his knuckles across my cheek. “You are more than worth the risk. If, this is what you want.”
My mouth parted slightly, but he pressed a finger to my lips. “But I want more than a casual fling with you Nora. And temporary isn’t what I had in mind. Never was.” His knuckles slid along my jaw, then he cupped my chin in his hands. He leaned in and in that moment, a moment I’d wanted since the first time we met, my eyes fluttered closed in surrender. I wanted this. I wanted him.
I could hear my own heart thumping, matching the tempo of his. He went slowly taking each step with agonizing attention. His tongue swept my lower lip, and my mouth parted. I’d rehearsed self-denial for more years than I could remember, but this moment, his lips pressed to mine his hands tangled in my hair— sliding down my arms— unbuttoning my shirt— all restrain dissolved in a wave of need and desire.
He hadn’t shaved, and the roughness of his jaw against my skin felt right. Shivers skated over my skin as his kiss deepened. I moaned against his lips. When he pulled back for a breath, I cursed the need for oxygen.
I still hadn’t answered him, since speech required more self-control than I had right now. I reached my arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hands slid down my arms, sliding my shirt off my shoulders, until it lay crumpled beneath me. My skin broke out in nervous goosebumps, everywhere his hand touched.
Exhaling, I let myself breathe out all of the pent up emotions I was holding, the elation, excitement and of course fear. For a second it was the fear that overpowered me, but I pushed it aside as I wiggled under him. I pressed my hand to his chest, feeling its rapid rise and fall. It matched my own, quick and shallow. He wanted this too.
His hand covered mine, then slowly he drew to up to his mouth. He held it against his lips as his eyes fell closed. That one tiny act soothed all of my fears, leaving me with only the knowing that this was right.
Our kisses intensified and I rocked beneath him, as he reached down to slide out of his pants. Then he was back on top, his fingers entwined with mine. He pinned my arms above my head, gently, still uncertain of my arm.
“It’s fine. I want you to relax.” I reassured him breathlessly. I arched under him and he let out a slow groan deep in his throat.
He gripped my hips firmly. “And I want to give you what you want.” His kisses trailed down my body, skimming my breasts, across my stomach, I shivered as they travelled below my belly button.
“I want to taste you.” he whispered, dipping his head down.
Endless sensations exploded inside me, with every stroke of his tongue. I writhed and bucked in agonizing pleasure under him, lifting my hips to his mouth. The feelings rippling through me were exquisite. It was like imploding and exploding at the same time.
He shifted his body upward, to gaze at me, with eyes dark with desire.
“A woman who knows what she wants is so damn sexy.” He kissed me and pulled back, his hooded eyes watching me.
“So, tell me Nora…” Another kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, as his fingers teased and explored every curve, before they slipped in between my thighs, stroking, until I couldn’t take anymore.
“Tell. Me. What. You. Want.” He punctuated each word with a gentle thrust.
My back arched violently.
“I want you,” I panted. “Only. You.”
His eyes blazed down at me. With a murmur of satisfaction, he shifted his weight, sliding a hand under my hips. I repositioned myself to grant him access as my thighs started to tremble.
Kissing me, he pushed inside—my fingers dug into his back as I cried out. Like magic, his body fell into mine, fitting perfectly, with an exquisite pinch of pain, followed by endless waves of pleasure. Our rhythmic pace intensified.
His head dipped to my neck. “Nora,” he ground out, thrusting deeper. “God I love you.”
“Please don’t stop.” My legs locked around him desperately, every muscle clenched inside me. I gasped shallow breaths as our bodies moved faster, harder in a frenetic cadence, until my whole body shuddered in response. I shook against him, tremors rolling over me and I buried my face in his neck to muffle my moans. Troy groaned, his muscles quaked violently, and we drowned in a sea of thunderous bliss.
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