“And you would accept the responsibility of managing Lula’s duties as an Earthly contact?” Vesta asked Dake.
“Absolutely. No problem there. Organization’s my middle name.”
“How curious,” Minerva said.
“I don’t believe he means it literally,” Mars said. “Can you adequately protect your nymph from the dark forces?”
“Uh…” Dake looked at Lula and Cinnamus and then back to Mars. “Can you give me an example?”
“Malevolent interlopers who would try to steal the academy’s materials and secrets,” Mars clarified with a frown. “There are many who would fight to the death for an opportunity to get their grubby hands on Cupid’s secrets.”
“Definitely,” Dake said, figuring no interloper could be as bad as dragons or monsters.
“Some of them may be dragons or monsters,” Mars added.
Dake couldn’t help laughing. “I promise to do my damnedest to protect Lula and all of Cupid’s secrets.”
“You’ve got balls, just like your brother, kid,” Mars announced with a resolute nod.
Dake looked down at his mid-thigh skirt and scratched his head. “I usually prefer to keep them covered in a pair of jeans.”
Mars, along with several of the other gods, goddesses and audience members, roared with laughter.
“Does anyone in attendance have anything to add in support of this plea?” Juno asked.
“I do.” Zeb raised his hand, twiddling his fingers. Juno nodded for him to speak. “I just want to add that if I’m granted immortality and minor god status, then I hope Dakin is too.”
“You can say that again,” Dake said. “The last thing I want to be reminded of by my little brother is that he’s a god and I’m not.” Muffled laughter followed his statement.
“Just a word, if I may,” Psyche said from the front row where she sat next to Cupid.
“My beloved husband and I are a prime example of what can come of a mixed marriage. While most believed our relationship was ill-fated, I think you would all agree that the strength of our love, devotion and commitment to each other is proof that the success of such unions can surpass all expectations. I know Lula personally and am proud to call this fine, honorable nymph my friend. It’s evident that she and Dakin are deeply in love, as are Cinnamus and Zebulon. Please grant their pleas.”
She took her seat again, with an adoring Cupid planting a kiss on her cheek.
“I’d like to add something.”
Dake turned to see a big, buff, beefed-up, really good-looking guy he hadn’t seen before.
“Speak, Hercules,” Juno said.
Dake looked at Lula and she nodded. “Yes, he’s the one you’ve read about,” she whispered.
“As you all know, I was a mortal who became a god and—”
“Oh but darling,” Venus cut in. “Look at you and look at them. They’re positively puny compared to your muscled magnificence.” As Venus spoke, Dake caught Diana making a call me gesture to Hercules at the same time Apollo was doing the same thing.
“Size doesn’t matter,” Hercules said and this time the women roared with laughter. “I don’t know these mortals personally,” Hercules continued when it quieted down, “but it’s clear to me they’re deeply in love, intelligent, valiant and more than willing to protect the secrets and traditions of Olympus. Isn’t that what being a god is all about?”
“Hey, thanks, buddy,” Dake said. Hercules smiled and waved as he sat down.
“May we speak?” It was the group of Lula’s classmates. Juno nodded, extending her hand. Dunniger the dragon was the spokesperson this time and Dake eyed him cautiously.
“First of all,” Dunniger said, “I take exception to all the negative talk about dragons. We’re like honey bees. Gentle unless provoked.” He offered a pleasant, soothing smile. “We had a chance to meet the mortal on the chariot ride and found him to be quite charming and likeable, as well as noble when faced with…a particularly negative influence.” Dunniger shot a heated glance at Vibius.
“And who doesn’t adore Lula?” he continued. “She’s sweet and generous and fully deserving to be with the man of her dreams. We hereby request that their plea be granted.” Most of the students chimed in with cheers of agreement.
“Silence!” Jupiter warned a second time, reaching for a thunderbolt. “Is there anyone who can show just cause why Lula and Jake—”
“Uh, it’s Dake, sir,” Dake said.
Jupiter looked down at his document. “Whatever,” he said. “Any objections to this plea?”
“I object,” came a familiar voice from the crowd.
“Aw, shit,” Dake muttered as he spotted goat boy standing and walking toward the front of the auditorium.
“State your objection,” Jupiter instructed.
“Lula and I were to be mated until this Neanderthal interfered,” Vibius said.
Lula gasped. “Vibius, you are such a liar!”
“Vibius speaks the truth,” Seraletta the undine said as she rose to stand by Vibius’ side. “Lula is flighty and self-centered. Here one of her own kind, a fine, strapping satyr, desires to make her his mate and what does the nymph do? She leads him on only to break his heart when her juices run for this mortal. I will agree to take the mortal off her hands so Lula can return to Vibius, her true intended, and make amends.”
“Sorry, Seraletta,” Dake said to the sexy, bare-breasted, blue-fleshed woman. “You’ll have to do your soul searching elsewhere. I’m sticking with Lula.”
Lula fisted her hands against her hips, telegraphing a narrow-eyed glare the undine’s way. “Everyone in attendance knows you just want to steal my mortal for your own selfish reasons, Seraletta.”
“The protesters have the floor,” Minerva warned. “Lula…Dakin, please refrain from speaking until their objections have been heard.”
“I am curious about something,” Seraletta cooed in all innocence. “Is it the custom of the council to place physically flawed beings in positions of great importance?”
“You know it’s not,” Venus said.
Seraletta shrugged. “Then perhaps the council should be made aware that the nymph is defective.”
“Defective?!” Lula nearly screeched. “I beg your pardon.”
“How so, Seraletta?” Juno urged.
Seraletta’s expression became gleefully malevolent as she glared at Lula. “Why not command her to spread her wings for you and see for yourself? An easy enough task for a nymph of the winged variety, is it not?”
“Oh Seraletta…” Lula said softly, shaking her head. “I told you that in strictest confidence. I truly believed you were my friend.” Dake longed to take Lula in his arms and soothe her when he saw how stricken she looked.
Miverva tsked. “Of course she can spread them.” She gestured toward Lula with a wave of her hand. “Go ahead and demonstrate for us, Lula.”
Lula hung her head. “I-I’m unable to comply at the moment.”
“Aha!” Venus slapped the tabletop. “I knew the nymph seemed too perfect to be true,” she said, clearly brimming with joy.
“It makes no matter to me whether the nymph has use of her wings or not,” Vibius said. “As long as all her other parts work,” he joked, only to have his quip met with silence. He cleared his throat and continued. “Even though Lula is physically deficient, I stand by my offer to take the deformed nymph as my mate.”
“Forget about it,” Dake said.
“Silence, Neanderthal! I have the floor. It is my belief,” Vibius went on, addressing the council, “that this scrawny, undersized, unctuous mortal wove some heinous black magic or perhaps even drugged Lula in order to win her affections. Look at him.” Vibius gestured toward Dake with a sneer. “How else could she possibly choose this diminutive human over me?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Dake said. “The only magic going on with Lula and me is the magic of love. But I doubt that’s something you could understand. And, listen, just because I’m not a huge,
honkin’ goat doesn’t mean I’m scrawny or undersized, got that, goat boy?”
In an instant, Vibius was at Dake’s side, grabbing his arm and twirling Dake to face him. Dake had to look up, way up, to lock gazes with the seven-footer. The pronounced smell of alcohol on the satyr’s breath was unmistakable.
“You insult me,” Vibius sneered, digging his long nails into Dake’s arm and drawing blood. “Is this the behavior of one who seeks to become a minor god?” he asked the council.
Dake shrugged free of Vibius’ grip. “If you want to talk about acceptable behavior,” he countered, “how about those lewd remarks you made to my woman on the chariot ride? You know, when Cupid threatened to turn you into a frog unless you shut up.”
“She is not your woman,” Vibius growled, shoving Dake’s shoulder with enough force to knock him off balance and to the floor. “You don’t belong with Lula,” he said as Dake shot back up to his feet, adopting a fighting stance. “You are not of her kind.”
“You leave Dake alone,” Lula shouted, pummeling Vibius’ hairy chest with her fists.
“Lula,” Dake cried, “stay away from him, he’s drunk.”
“Mind your place, nymph!” Vibius warned, swatting Lula aside. A swat from him was akin to a full blow from a human male. She careened backward and fell on her bottom.
“You rotten son of a bitch,” Dake said, swinging a fist at Vibius and connecting with his chin while aiming for the tall guy’s nose. “Instead of picking on defenseless women, how about taking on someone your own size?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dake realized how ludicrous they were.
“I’ll kill you if you ever touch Lula again.” He leaned to the side, glancing at Lula. “Are you okay?” She nodded as Zeb helped her to her feet and then they both gasped. Before Dake had a chance to realize why, Vibius gored his upper arm with one of his horns.
“Dake!” Lula screamed, struggling to rush to Dake’s side as Zeb held her back.
Enough!” Jupiter bellowed. “Return to your seat at once, Vibius.”
Dake looked down at his bleeding arm in disbelief. “God damn,” he muttered, “that hurt like a motherfucker.”
He pulled back his fist, but Vibius was too fast. Goat boy ducked and then kicked Dake in the thigh with one of his hooves, again with enough force to send Dake hurtling to the floor. Blood gushed from the wound, but Dake was on his feet in the blink of an eye. This time when he punched, his fist made direct contact with Vibius’ nose.
Dake waited for blood to pour from the wound, but Vibius just stood there with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
“Puny, pathetic human,” he snorted, raising his arm to backhand Dake.
“Enough, I said!” Jupiter roared.
“Let them at it,” Mars said, a bloodthirsty gleam in his eye as he swung his fists in the air, grinning like a hyena. “There’s nothing to spice up a plea hearing like a good bloody fight.”
Ignoring Jupiter’s command, Vibius rammed Dake’s chest with his horns, knocking the wind out of Dake and sending him sailing through the air. Vibius galloped to where Dake had fallen, standing over him with one hoof raised, ready to stomp.
“Oh dear God, Dakin!” Zeb yelled, racing toward his brother. With Vibius poised to clomp, Zeb let out a tribal yell and tackled goat boy just like an ace football player.
“Mmm…the mortals are impressive,” Diana said, her voice husky.
Unfortunately, Zeb’s full-body tackle had little effect on the powerful satyr, who smacked the well-built Zeb clear across the floor as if he were nothing more than a bug.
“Holy shit,” Dake managed to eke out as he rolled and struggled to his feet. “Zeb!”
“Zebulon, my love!” Cinnamus called out as he rushed to Zeb’s aid. “Vibius, have you gone mad?” Cinnamus shouted, helping Zeb to his feet and holding him close. “I demand you desist in this idiocy at once!”
“Or what, teacher?” Vibius scoffed. “You’ll put a red check next to my name in class?” He roared with laughter.
“Oh Dakin,” Lula cried, hurrying to Dake’s side. “Are you all right? Oh!” Her eyes filled with tears. “Look how you’re bleeding.”
Through blinding pain, Dake did his best to offer a chuckle. “Don’t get any funny ideas,” he said, winking. “I’m not up to it just now, honey.”
Cinnamus helped a limping Zeb to where Dake and Lula stood. An instant later, Vibius’ ferocious naying baaah shocked the hell out of them as they looked up to see the satyr hunching his shoulders, snorting and swiping his hooves on the floor, much the same way a bull does a moment before it attacks.
“Oh shit,” Dake and Zeb chorused.
As Vibius galloped toward the foursome, the auditorium filled with an earsplitting, bloodcurdling wail so piercing Dake and the others covered their ears.
Dake looked over to see Maureen, bless her wild screaming banshee heart, standing at her chair, mouth open wide, clearly in an attempt to divert Vibius. Screaming in agony, poor little Ofradurn the troll clapped his hands over his ears and rushed from Maureen’s side toward Vibius, nipping at the satyr’s ankles to distract him. He got a swift kick for his efforts.
“Oh Ofie!” Maureen cried out, her howl increasing as she ran to him.
“Damn, that banshee can sure hold a note,” Apollo said with admiration. He played along with her wail on his lyre.
“Cease your incessant shrieking, banshee, or I will crush you along with the others,” Vibius spewed, raising his hand to swat the banshee. Dake, Zeb and Cinnamus ran at him, tackling the satyr together. They could have been characters in a cartoon the way they slammed into goat boy and then bounced off, falling to the floor without so much as throwing him off balance.
Dunniger the dragon rushed forth, his eyes blazing red. “Desist, satyr, or I will gladly convert you into a smoking platter of crisp roast goat as an offering to the gods,” he cried, smoke curling up from his nostrils.
“Dunniger, don’t!” Cupid called as the dragon filled his lungs, ready to spew fire.
“Let the dragon roast him,” Neptune called out. “Grilled goat would be a nice change from all that fish and seafood.”
“The honey bee has been provoked,” Dunniger snarled. “Please, Cupid, allow me this one simple pleasure.”
“Relax, I’ll handle this,” Cupid told him. “I don’t want you backsliding, Dunniger.”
Hercules at his side, Cupid hopped over the rail that separated the audience from the main floor of the court. Hercules bounded toward the satyr, who planted his hooves firmly and growled at him with a come-and-get-me challenge. With no more effort than plucking a doll from a toy chest, Hercules snatched the inebriated Vibius off his feet with one hand, elevating his arm and holding the snarling creature high over his head.
“He’s all yours, Cupid,” Hercules said.
“No!” Vibius howled, eyes wide with fright as Cupid raised his hand, fingers poised to snap.
A second later, Vibius had been turned into a horned toad.
“I warned you, Vibius,” Cupid said, taking the small green animal from Hercules’ hand. He sniffed the air and screwed his features.
“Phew! You smell like a distillery, toad.” He motioned to one of his aides. “Send him to detox,” Cupid instructed. He turned his attention back to Vibius before the aide left. “Shame on you. You’ll stay this way and remain in detox until we can be certain you’ve had enough time to ponder your dishonorable deeds and are ready to reform.”
“All rise,” Mercury cried out and all eyes were on the twelve gods as they filed out of the auditorium. “The council retires to chambers to resolve the fates of the pleaders.”
Chapter Twenty-One
After applying salve to Lula’s sizeable bruise, practitioners of the healing arts tended to the wounds of Zeb and the troll. Dake’s wounds were the most serious by far and were still being cared for while Lula, Cinnamus and the others milled around with members of the audience. While all present were supportive, expecta
tions of the verdicts varied.
“All would have proceeded well,” Lula noted, “if it hadn’t been for the outrageous antics of Seraletta and Vibius.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “I feel certain the resulting turmoil did not leave a positive impression on the gods.”
“I wish I could offer knowing reassurance,” Cinnamus said, wrapping one arm around Lula, “but I’m afraid I stand here as eager and concerned as you. The Council of Deities is an unpredictable lot.”
Zeb came to stand next to Cinnamus and Lula greeted him with a warm smile. “Oh Zebulon, I’m so very proud of you. You were so brave and fearless in coming to Dake’s defense.”
“How about that rebel yell?” Zeb asked with a laugh. “Honestly, I didn’t know I had anything like that inside me. I just saw red when that hairy, overgrown beast went for my brother.”
“You were the epitome of Prince Charming, my love,” Cinnamus said.
“I was quite the dashing gay blade, wasn’t I?” Zeb quipped.
Lula remembered the look of respect, awe and admiration in Dake’s eyes after Zeb’s brave intervention. “Dake will never forget how you put your life in jeopardy for him.”
“He would have done the same for me, darling,” Zeb said seriously. “We’re brothers. Always…”
It nearly broke Lula’s heart to see the anguished uncertainty in Zeb’s eyes. How she hoped they wouldn’t be parted forever. “If Dake and I lose our one chance to remain together because of my physical deficiency,” she said, “I shall never forgive myself.”
“You’re neither deficient nor deformed, my little Lula,” Cinnamus said, lifting her chin and offering a comforting smile as he gazed into her eyes. “You’re simply…wired somewhat different than most.” He chuckled. “If you can generate a wingspan during an intimate moment, I fully believe you have the capability of producing the same effect at other times. But it is not I who must believe, Lula…it is you.” He kissed her forehead.
Lula didn’t have much time to toss the idea around in her mind because she spotted a bandaged Dake limping toward them, assisted by Dunniger.
Finding Cupid Page 28
