Sounds totally like a teenage soap opera, I know, but there isn’t any other way to describe it. I needed the confusing little bugger around just to be able to breathe. I wasn’t even sure when he’d become so important…and the biggest problem? He had no idea.
How could he have no idea?
We were constantly together. Breakfast? Coffee and something quick almost every morning during the week because we had an early math class together. Lunch? Together because we’d grab something in the dining hall and then head over to the library to study. Free time in the afternoon? We’d hang out and watch a movie. Dinner? Dining hall again then most of the time more studying or video games.
I’d given up trying to date other people.
When we’d first met, I’d thought he was either in the closet or just not the straightest guy I’d ever met because my gaydar was going off like crazy, but nothing he said confirmed he was gay. So I’d toned down the flirting and tried to be his friend.
Then I found out he was gay and single. I figured since my smiles and looks hadn’t gotten me anywhere, he just wasn’t interested. After a while, I came to realize there was something else going on.
He wasn’t hiding the fact that he was gay, but he was in the closet about something. I’d imagined all kinds of things from liking women’s underwear to aliens, but he was just so reluctant to talk about anything having to do with his sexuality that it was hard to tell.
For the most part, I’d given up trying to figure him out—whatever he felt so protective over wasn’t as important as who he was to me. He was my friend. I wished it were as simple as that; he was so much more to me.
I’d tried dating other people since it was obvious that for whatever reason, Bryan wasn’t going to date me. That hadn’t worked out so hot. One guy told me I acted like I was cheating on Bryan when I was going out with him, and he didn’t appreciate being made to feel like the other guy.
It was hard to deny because he was right. So I’d stopped trying to date. I felt less like an ass who was cheating on his boyfriend—it didn’t matter if it was true or not—and I got to spend more time with Bryan. Win-win as far as I was concerned.
I wasn’t cut out for being in love with someone and dating other people.
Do you want to see more? Check it out.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072BFCVB8/
Garrett: A M/m BDSM Romance (Bound & Controlled Book 1) Page 13
