by Ryan Kirk
“Do you think he would have made a good king?” Masaki asked.
Kiyoshi smiled, a sad smile. “Yes. You guided him well, and even though he had a tendency to get distracted by women and weapons, he would have outgrown that. His heart was always in the right place, and like you, he put the Kingdom first. The people would have been lucky to have him as ruler.”
“You know, when you were the one that came back, I was so angry at you. He loved you like the brother I was never able to give him, but when I saw you, kneeling there in front of me, you’ll never know how close I came to taking your head myself.”
“I would have let you.”
“I know. It’s a horrible thought to hold, but every time I saw you, I thought to myself, it should have been you. But you returned, and he didn’t.”
Kiyoshi, overwhelmed, felt himself losing control, but the king continued.
“Day after day I watched you. I knew how useful you were, but I wanted an excuse to kill you. I wanted you to be the traitor, but day after day, you gave everything to the Kingdom. And then, as the days went on and we all got older, you became the only link I had left to my son. And here we are, both old men who have outlived our usefulness.”
Kiyoshi couldn’t handle the king’s kindness. The tears streamed from his face, and he made no effort to hide them.
A look of compassion flooded Masaki’s face. “Kiyoshi, I’ve seen you bring yourself to the brink of self-destruction so many times since those days. I’ve seen your heart, and I know the grief and anger that have driven you for cycle after cycle. At times, I think I understand you better than you understand yourself.”
Their eyes met, and Masaki held Kiyoshi’s gaze.
“There’s something I need you to know. Not just listen to, but know. Kiyoshi, I forgive you. You have absolutely no debt to me, my family, or the Kingdom. I forgive you.”
Masaki broke his gaze with Kiyoshi as a fit of coughing overtook him. A trickle of blood came out the corner of his mouth, and Kiyoshi wiped it away with a rag. Kiyoshi couldn’t bring himself to say anything. His heart was too full.
“Kiyoshi, do you believe it? You have done everything you could and more. Let the weight of Yoshi’s death fall from your shoulders. We are both joining the Great Cycle soon, and I won’t have you joining me with that debt weighing you down.”
At that, Kiyoshi collapsed completely, falling to his knees in front of Masaki. His body was racked with sobs, emotion tearing through him. They were only words, but Kiyoshi didn’t realize how long he had waited to hear them.
He lost track of time on his knees, but when he came back to his senses, the room was beginning to darken. Night came sooner and sooner as winter approached. As Kiyoshi stood, he felt lighter somehow. He looked at Masaki, but the king’s eyes were glassy again, and he was muttering gibberish. Kiyoshi wanted to thank him, to let him know just how he had helped in the last days of his life, but he didn’t say anything. Somehow he was certain Masaki knew his heart.
Kiyoshi turned around and walked toward the door. But just before he was about to open it, he heard a phrase that froze him in place. “Osamu, it should have been you.” Kiyoshi spun and looked at Masaki, but now he was asking about wine. Kiyoshi considered sending the king on his way to the Great Cycle, but he couldn’t. Not only was it wrong; he wasn’t certain he could physically bring himself to kill his friend. He shook his head and left the room on one last mission for his king.
When Kiyoshi left the room, he sensed that Daisuke had returned. He went to the nightblade’s room, where the door was open. Kiyoshi looked him over. Although the man looked tired, he looked none the worse for wear. A few days riding was all he had suffered. “You delivered him safely?”
Daisuke nodded. “There was no trouble.”
“Juro was killed. The young nightblade Minori befriended, Koji, killed him.”
“Asa?”
“Beaten up, but fine. I healed any injuries that were serious.”
A look of relief passed over Daisuke’s face, and Kiyoshi saw his friend had developed an affection for the younger blade. “What comes next?”
Kiyoshi filled in Daisuke on the most recent happenings, from Shin’s recent decisions to how the king had regained consciousness and declared Isamu the rightful king. It was their only chance at preventing war or the downfall of the blades.
Daisuke frowned. “I imagine you mean to leave right away?”
“Yes. Why not?”
“If everything you’ve learned is true, what good will it do to keep trying? I hate to say this, but maybe it’s time for us to find a nice quiet corner of the Kingdom and live in peace. There’s no way Shin will give up power, and without the seal, Isamu will have an uphill battle trying to convince the Kingdom he has legitimacy.”
“You know I have to try. If Shin has his way and the blades become persecuted throughout the Kingdom, I fear for the future.”
“At least let me go instead. Your place is here, next to Masaki.”
Kiyoshi hesitated. The idea was a tempting one, but wouldn’t work. “As much as I want to, that’s not what needs to happen. As you stated, without the seal, Isamu would face an uphill battle convincing people of legitimacy. I can attest to the truthfulness of the letter, adding to its authenticity. Perhaps it won’t mean as much to the people, but it could lead the Council of the Blades to declare their support for Isamu. With Shin’s recent declarations, Hajimi and the council have to be terrified. This gives them a way out. With the support of the blades, Isamu might have a chance.”
“It’s still a slim chance.”
“But it’s the best one we have, and the council won’t listen to you, since they don’t even know you exist.”
Daisuke conceded the point with a nod of his head.
“What would you have of me?”
“Tend to the king if he wakes back up. I don’t think it will be much longer now. He’s delirious and going in and out of consciousness. Keep him comfortable, and if possible, try to keep Asa away from him. I expect she’ll sleep for some time, though.”
Daisuke looked confused at first, but understanding dawned quickly on him. He straightened up and nodded. Kiyoshi felt sorry for him. He had just ridden several days with little sleep, and to ask this of him was a lot. Daisuke had to be exhausted.
“What if she finds out?”
Kiyoshi had been wondering about that question himself for some time.
“Let her make her own decision. I hope she can see the consequences of her actions now, but her desire for revenge runs deeper than either of us can imagine. Either way, let her choose.”
“Are you sure that’s wise? She’s not that strong, but she’s fast, and you’re not as young as you once were. She might beat you if it comes to that.”
“Perhaps, but if that is my fate, so it is. Daisuke, I’m tired of trying to control the world. It’s like trying to grasp sand. The harder you squeeze, the more it escapes from you. If it comes to that, she and I will finish our story. She deserves that.”
Daisuke didn’t look like he agreed, but he bowed.
“After the king dies?”
Kiyoshi smiled. “I release you from my service, Daisuke. I ask you to guard the king as a friend and fellow blade. Not as your master, not any longer. I’m not sure where my path goes anymore. If I reach Isamu, you may search for me there. I’m always grateful for your company. Otherwise, return to your family. Find a quiet corner of the Kingdom and take up farming. You have a gift in your wife and daughter more valuable than any I can offer. Don’t sacrifice them for anything.”
Kiyoshi saw Daisuke’s eyes watering and almost chuckled. It was a day for farewells.
“I would ask one other favor of you, if I may.”
Daisuke bowed deeply. “Anything you ask.”
“If you can, and if you’re willing, watch over Asa. The only thing I can give her is your wisdom. She’ll never be the strongest fighter, but you can teach her the skills you’ve learned. Perhaps you
can also teach her the true meaning of friendship and family. I fear her beliefs have been twisted by revenge, and she deserves better.”
“I will train her.”
“Thank you.” Kiyoshi stepped toward Daisuke and embraced him, surprising the nightblade. “I know you feel indebted, but know this: you have been one of my closest friends over the past twenty cycles, and any debt you had to me has been paid many times over. I am grateful for your service and ask that you now live for yourself.”
Kiyoshi stepped back and knelt down, bowing toward Daisuke. He didn’t hold the bow long, as he knew it would upset his friend, but it was the only way he knew to express how he was feeling.
When Kiyoshi stood up, Daisuke’s face was as filled with tears as Kiyoshi’s was. They might meet again, but Kiyoshi felt as though he were on his last mission, and he wanted Daisuke to know how he felt.
Daisuke couldn’t bring himself to speak, but Kiyoshi knew the man’s heart. He nodded and turned away, walking down the stairs toward the stable.
Chapter 28
Asa had been in and out of consciousness for some time now. Kiyoshi had healed her body, but he couldn’t repair the tears in her heart. She was angry at Koji, sad about Juro, and furious at herself. She had taken her nightblade training seriously, but she had never been the best fighter, not even in her class. Now she wished there would be some way to reverse time, to go back and find the secret of training, to get better than anyone else.
When she brought herself to think about it, she realized that what she wanted more than anything else was to not feel powerless. Despite her strength, she felt as though she was always in situations where she was fighting events and people more powerful than she. She hadn’t been able to save her family, and now she felt farther away from Osamu than at any time in the past season. She couldn’t defend a lord, and the only reason she was alive was because Koji liked her and didn’t want to kill her. Though she had passed the nightblade trials, she felt like a small child, a victim of forces beyond her ability.
So even though physically she felt fine, she couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed. She heard, more than felt, Daisuke return. She scowled. Of course he would have been successful. His abilities, both natural and trained, were some of the most impressive she had ever encountered. In her current mood, she wasn’t even happy he had returned. She also felt Kiyoshi leave, riding toward the south. She wondered what errand he had put himself to now.
Asa fell back asleep, but when she opened her eyes, it was dark. Her internal sense of time told her that night had not yet fallen, and she walked to the window. Outside, the clouds were thick, portending an early winter storm. Even though her room was warm, Asa could hear the wind outside. She didn’t pretend to understand the weather, but she knew she didn’t want to be trapped outside anytime soon. Hopefully Kiyoshi would be fine.
Asa extended her sense. The inn was quiet, with only a handful of patrons inside. She was beginning to understand that was typical of this place. She wanted to talk to Daisuke, but couldn’t hear him moving about. She assumed he was asleep. Like Kiyoshi, he seemed even older than his years, and perhaps he would have advice for her as she thought about her next steps.
She was surprised to feel the king awake and agitated. That was new. She left her room and went to Masaki’s room, letting herself in.
The king was there, but he wasn’t. Asa saw the blank look on his face and knew that whatever he had suffered had affected him deeply.
“Hello,” said the king.
“Hello,” replied Asa, looking around the room and wondering what she should do. Originally she had thought of trying to comfort Masaki, but his agitation wasn’t physical, and there wasn’t anything Asa could do to help him as he was. Lacking any better ideas, she sat down.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Asa. I’m here to help you if I can.”
The king seemed to hear her, but he didn’t reply. On the one hand, he seemed lucid, but from the glassiness of his eyes and the way his body didn’t seem to be entirely in his control, Asa could tell he wasn’t right. She was torn. A part of her felt sympathy, but she had also never known the king personally, and after the pain she had seen her family suffer, she had difficulty experiencing empathy. It would be a mercy to open his throat and put him out of his misery.
In the next room over, Asa could hear Daisuke stirring from his slumber. She was grateful. Perhaps he would have a better idea of how to help the king. Why had Kiyoshi left? Clearly the king needed something, and of all of them, Kiyoshi was best suited to help. Whatever had taken him away must have been important.
The king’s next words froze Asa in her place.
“Are you a friend of Osamu’s?”
Asa’s world twisted, and everything seemed to happen at once. She could hear Daisuke scrambling from his room over to the king’s. Everything that had happened in the past few moons was now thrown into a new light. Pieces fell into place one after the other. There had been suspicions, of course, but never any evidence, never anything real to hold on to.
“What did you say?”
At just that moment, Daisuke burst into the room, trying to keep a look of calm on his face. Asa glared at him, and his face was all the confirmation she needed. But she got more from the king anyway.
“I asked, are you a friend of Kiyoshi’s?”
Rage burst inside of Asa, fueled by anger at herself and the deep-seated pain she had carried for so many cycles. Everybody she had grown to trust in the past moon had known. They had known and never told her! There wasn’t anything she could say to make her anger clear enough to Daisuke, so she just glared at him. Neither carried any steel, but if he stood in her way, she swore she would rip his throat from his body.
Daisuke seemed to know it was unwise to argue with Asa, so he also said nothing. He stood inside the door, impassive. Asa had to get out of the room. She stomped toward Daisuke and shoved him aside. Her first instinct was to go to her room, but that notion was quickly overridden. Instead, she went down the stairs and out the door of the inn, her whole heart trying to decide what to do next.
She was staring off into the distance when she sensed Daisuke. A light snow had begun to fall, and in time she expected the precipitation would become much heavier. The wind buffeted her thick robes, but inside she felt nothing but rage. Wind and snow couldn’t touch her.
She could sense Daisuke, and that meant he wanted her to be able to sense him. That alone should have been comforting. Yet the only thought in her mind was that Daisuke served Osamu, and the men she had once been foolish enough to respect and look up to had proven to be her most dangerous enemies. She was a young girl again, uncertain about the way the world worked.
Kiyoshi had reminded her, in a way few teachers could, just how the world worked. She had traveled alone for so long for a reason. Others couldn’t be trusted. Others were nothing more than complications.
Daisuke stepped just a bit in front of her, off to the side. She knew it was a purposeful decision. She could see everything he did. The move was meant to put her at ease, but in her current mood, it had the opposite effect. She wanted nothing more than to lash out, but something inside of her held her back. She spoke instead.
“So, what comes next?”
Daisuke turned around slowly to face her, and she also realized he had positioned himself to block some of the wind. The small kindness infuriated her. He could roll up into a ball and die for all she cared.
“That choice is yours.”
“But if I go after him, I have to get through you first, correct?” Asa knew if it came to a fight between her and Daisuke, he would win easily.
Daisuke shook his head. “That would be my preference, yes. But he gave me instructions that if you ever found out, you were to make your own choice. He forbade me from stopping you, although it might be the first order of his I wouldn’t listen to.”
Asa knew her anger was rising, but she couldn’t stop herself. “You
think he deserves to live?”
For the first time that Asa had ever seen, Daisuke lost his composure. She hadn’t thought he ever felt emotions strongly enough to do so. “I think the Kingdom needs good men like him far more than it needs revenge-obsessed nightblades like you!”
Asa stepped back. As long as she had known Daisuke, which she supposed hadn’t been that long, he had always been a placid man, able to take everything that came his way. She considered it one of his greatest strengths. Apparently she had touched a nerve. He did care about Kiyoshi. Despite her anger, curiosity got the better of her.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you serve him so passionately when you know what he’s done?”
“I’ve told you what he did for me. Does it matter that it happened when I was a child of Two Falls?”
“But you know he was the one responsible for everything. You rank his one act of kindness above the massacre he committed?”
Daisuke seemed to regain his composure, becoming the man Asa had thought she knew so well. “There is no doubt that a man is defined by his actions. And Kiyoshi, or Osamu, has taken some actions that are reprehensible. But Two Falls was a breaking point for him. Yes, he was responsible, and it was a horrible thing he chose to do. It’s why he’s worked every day since then to keep the Kingdom together.”
He took a deep breath and continued. “You seek to define him by one action, as would many. But I’ve now served him for more than twenty cycles, and I’ve seen thousands and thousands of actions, and if he hasn’t redeemed himself, there is no hope for any of us who have erred in our choices. I’m not exaggerating when I say every action he’s taken since that day has been the best one possible.”
Asa could feel herself hardening against Daisuke. At one time, maybe, the words would have had an effect on her, but now all she could think about were scenes from her childhood. Her mother and brother, wasting away against the forces of famine. The two of them encouraging her to eat and to get strong. Her brother coming in from the field, his hands bloody from a full day of working. No forgiveness, not for what happened to them.
