by Jessica Wood
Your gut has never been wrong.
I went to the floral shop down the street and picked up a bouquet of pink peonies—Alexis’s favorite. I then walked back to the apartment building feeling excited about tonight. I knew she would smile when she saw the flowers, and I was dying to see that smile again. When I walked through the front lobby door, I ran up the two flights of stairs to Alexis’s apartment two steps at a time. She was probably home from work now, and I couldn’t wait until dinner to see her. I’ll just stop by and give her the flowers real quick.
When I got to her door, I heard the TV on inside and smiled. She’s home.
I knocked and heard her footsteps approached the door. I took a deep breath, waiting impatiently for the second I could hold her in my arms.
When the door opened, the bouquet of peonies in my hand fell to the floor because who I saw at the door was the last person I had expected to see. It wasn’t Alexis.
A tall, built guy with only a towel around his waist opened the door. His hair was dripping wet and I could still see water drops on his face and chest.
I glanced quickly at the number on the apartment door. 204. It’s the right apartment.
“Hey, can I help you?” the guy asked me as he readjusted his towel.
“Who the fuck are you?” I stared at him in disbelief as my mind tried to think of a logical explanation that wouldn’t involve Alexis cheating on me. I tried to push past him to go inside and confront Alexis.
He pushed me back and raised his hands in front of him. “Whoa, man! Calm your shit!” He stood in front of the opening of the door and blocked me from passing.
“Answer my question!” I spat out. “Who are you?!” I felt the rage rise inside me.
He extended his hand at me like he wanted to shake my hand. “I’m Chris, Alexis’s friend. Who are you?”
Something inside me had known that this man was Chris the second I saw him, but his confirmation of the fact was what pushed me over the edge. Instead of shaking his hand, I clenched my fist and socked him in the face with all of my strength.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Alexis
Tonight was the night that would make or break our relationship. Because after tonight, I would know the depth of Damian’s love for me.
I walked home from work in a fog as thoughts of how tonight was going to go whirled around in my head. I still hadn’t figured out how I was going to break the news to him, but I hoped that when the time came, I had the courage to tell him.
When I got to the door to my apartment, I noticed a bouquet of pink peonies on the floor.
“Huh. That’s strange.” I picked up the bouquet and several of the petals fell on the floor. There was no card and several stems were damaged. “These don’t look like they were placed on the floor on purpose.”
I opened the door and saw Chris lying on the couch with a bag of ice against his face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I dropped the flowers on the kitchen counter and hurried over to him.
“The fuck I know,” he groaned.
“What happened to your face though?” I noticed the towel around his waist. “Did you hurt yourself in the shower?” I stifled a giggle at the thought.
“No.” He shot me a look. “Some guy came by and punched me.”
A jolt of panic spread through me. “What guy? What’s his name?”
“He didn’t give me a name.”
“When did this happen?”
“Just a few minutes ago.”
“And he came to my door?”
“Yeah. He looked like a lunatic.”
“Why do you say that?” Could it have been Damian?
“Well I opened the door and he looked like he was about to kill someone. He demanded to know who I was, and when I told him, he punched me. I’ve never seen or talked to the guy before in my life, and he fucking punched me. Does that sound like a sane person to you?” Chris readjusted the ice pack on his face.
“Did he have flowers with him?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Did he ask for me?” I looked at Chris and cringed. “Were you wearing just that towel when you answered the door?” I didn’t need Chris to say anything further to know what had probably happened. It all made sense. Who else would knock on my door with my favorite flowers and then punch Chris when he appeared at the door with only a towel around his waist? My stomach twisted into a ball of nerves as it dawned on me how bad it must have looked to Damian.
“Yeah, I was wearing this. I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard someone at the door.” He rubbed the back of his head as he thought back to the encounter. “I don’t think he mentioned your name, but I did tell him I was a friend of yours.”
“Shit. I think that was Damian.” I collapsed onto the couch and groaned. “What a mess.”
“Oh…” Chris looked down at his towel and his expression changed. “Fuck. This looks bad.”
“Yeah. You think?” I mumbled sarcastically.
“I’m sorry, Alexis. I didn’t realize that it was him.”
“It’s okay. It’s my fault for keeping this a secret for this long.” I let out a deep sigh. “This was not how I wanted to start off my talk with him tonight.”
“Alexis, go find him and talk to him. The sooner you tell him, the sooner he’ll stop driving himself crazy thinking there’s something going on between us.”
“You’re right. I need to find him.”
I pulled out my phone and dialed Damian’s number. His voicemail picked up after several rings. Crap, he’s ignoring me.
I texted him:
Hey, where are you? Can we talk?
I stared at my phone and waited for him to respond back. But after a few minutes, there was nothing.
Just as I was about to give up hope that he’d text me back, my phone beeped and I saw a text come through from him:
I’m at the bar. Come down now.
I quickly responded:
Great. I’ll be there in a minute.
“I don’t even know where to begin when I see him,” I said to Chris.
“Begin with the truth.” Chris looked over at me sympathetically. “Tell him you haven’t cheated on him.”
“Okay.” I got up from the couch and took a few deep breaths through my nose. “Oh God. Wish me luck!” I rubbed my hands together nervously as I headed toward the door.
“Good luck, Alexis. Just be honest with him. If he really loves you, he’ll come around.”
“If he really loves you…” Chris’s words were not at all comforting, because it was what I most feared.
What if Damian doesn’t really love me? I wasn’t sure Damian could handle the truth. He’d been a playboy bachelor all his life, and I was the first real relationship he’d been in. I wasn’t sure he was ready for something this serious and life-changing. If he ended up leaving me because of this, I’d know that he didn’t truly love me enough to be there for me and our baby. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to handle that truth and do this on my own.
My stomach was in knots when I walked into the bar. I saw him immediately—he always stood out from the crowd. He was on the far end of the bar by himself.
No time like the present, I thought as I forced my legs to move toward him.
He looked up when I approached him. My heart bled with pain at the hurt I saw in his eyes.
“Damian, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but—”
“What exactly are you sorry about? The fact that you didn’t tell me you were fucking your ex or the fact that you got caught?” I saw his hands tightly grip the edge of the bar counter as he looked away from me.
“No, you have it all wrong. I want to talk to you about something. It’s important and I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for a while. Can we go somewhere more private to talk?” I looked around at the growing crowd of people who had just gotten off work and were coming into the bar for happy hour.
“I’m a little busy right now.” He glared bac
k at me as he spoke. “Plus, I already know you’re pregnant with Chris’s child.”
I gasped at his accusation. “How do you know I’m pregnant?”
“So you don’t deny it then?”
“Is that what this is all about?” He thinks I’m pregnant with Chris’s baby!
“Is that not enough?” His words were venomous and stung me more than I’d thought was possible.
I was near the verge of tears at his hostility, not because of his coldness toward me, but because I knew from his reaction that I had really hurt him. I knew about his past, about how his mother had betrayed him and cheated on the man he had thought was his father all his life. I knew that the one thing he hated the most in his life was the fact that he was the product of his mother’s infidelity.
“You have it all wrong, Damian.” It came out in a whisper as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“I don’t think so, Alex.” His words were cold and empty, and I knew I had lost him. “There no other explanation for all that has happened so far.”
I shook my head violently, and I wanted to yell at him, to tell him that he was mistaken, that it was all a huge misunderstanding, and that he was wrong—that he had wronged me.
But just as I was about to tell him that he was the father, a beautiful blonde emerged from under the bar counter next to Damian. Her lips were wet and flushed. She wrapped her arms around Damian’s neck and then turned and looked at me with disgust. She then turned to Damian, who flashed her a seductive smile.
“How was that, baby?” the blonde asked as she slowly wiped her bottom lip with her fingers.
“Best I’ve ever had,” Damian groaned in a low, husky voice. I watched in horror as he moved his arm around the blonde’s waist and pulled her up against his body. Then Damian turned to look over at me like I was a stranger. “Like I said, I’m a little busy right now.”
I stared them in shock, frozen in place, as unbearable pain crashed through my body. “How could you?” My question came out in a whisper.
“That’s fresh coming from you,” he spat out with disdain and anger. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like this hot piece of ass to finish taking care of some business below.”
Before I could respond, Damian turned his back on me and pushed the blonde’s head back down behind the bar counter. Tears streamed down my face as I watched as he threw his head back in pleasure and let out a primal groan.
As the room began to spin around me, I knew I had to get out of here. I couldn’t bear to see this any longer. My legs came back to life and I turned and ran as fast as I could away from what I had just witnessed, away from the root of all my pain, away from the love of my life.
CHAPTER NINE
Damian
“Get up. No need to pretend any longer,” I barked. I took a step back from the blonde as I heard Alexis run off in tears.
I can’t believe that even now, she’s still putting up a front like I somehow fucking matter to her. She and I both know the truth—that she’s fucking Chris. I felt my rage bubble up inside me as I imagined Chris and Alexis laughing together as they talked about my stupidity. You know she’s just like your mother, but you just wouldn’t listen to yourself. The thought gutted me as I realized there was no way I could refute it now.
The blonde got up from the floor and straightened up. “You know, I can do more than pretend to blow you. I’d love to actually do it.” She reached for the zipper of my jeans.
I grabbed her hands and pushed them away. “I’m not interested.”
“Asshole,” the blonde pouted and crossed her arms across her chest. I knew I had offended her. Most guys probably wouldn’t have passed on a chance to fuck her. But I wasn’t in the mood to fuck, and I definitely wasn’t interested.
“Well, as promised, your drinks are on the house tonight. What do you want?”
“I want a Damian Style shot…from your cock.” As she moved her hand down my chest, she bit her lower lip and gave me the come-hither stare I’d become accustomed to with these type of women.
“Give it a rest. I’ve already said no. Don’t ask me again.” I gestured for her to get out from behind the bar.
“Fine. Suit yourself. I’ll get a gin and tonic.” She walked around to the other side of the bar counter and turned back toward me. “But tell me something.”
“What?” I grabbed a clean glass and began to make her drink order.
“Why did you ask me to pretend to give you a blowjob? I assume it was to make that girl upset. But how did you know she was going to be here?”
I handed her the gin and tonic. “I just wanted to hurt her.” I looked away from the blonde as I felt a wave of guilt consume me.
“Well, you definitely accomplished that.” The blonde chuckled as she sipped her drink.
“You think?” I was not convinced.
“Hello? Did you not see how pale her face got when she saw me? Did you not see how hard she tried to fight back those tears?”
“Right.”
As much as I wanted to believe that Alexis was as cold-hearted as my mother, I knew the blonde was right. Alexis had looked hurt when she thought this blonde had given me a blowjob.
When I had seen Chris half naked at Alexis’s door earlier, I had been fuming and had wanted to do something that could cause her to feel half the pain that she had caused me. But as I thought back to the hurt that I had seen in her eyes, my chest tightened at the memory. I’d thought that the sight of her in pain would somehow help ease my own.
But it hadn’t.
The sight of her in tears had crushed me beyond belief, and I’d had to turn away from her to avoid seeing any more. I had to keep my composure and make her believe that she hadn’t hurt me, that knowing she had been with another man hadn’t ripped out my heart. She’d already broken me, but I just couldn’t let her know that she had succeeded.
Just then, there was a commotion at the front of the bar. I looked over and saw Chris barreling toward me, his face dark with rage.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I stood up taller and gave him a stone-cold look. He was the last person who was going to see me in pain. “If you want to gloat, it’s not going to work. I—”
“You fucking asshole! I’m not here to gloat! Get your head out of your own ass.”
The next thing I saw was his fist flying toward me before I felt the impact against my jaw.
The taste of blood invaded my mouth as I lifted my head back up and readied my fist. “Fuck you, man! You already got the girl. Get out of my fucking bar!”
Chris shook his head as he looked at me in disgust. “You don’t fucking deserve her.” His words came out slow and forceful, and it was as if each word were a punch to the stomach.
My jaws tightened as rage took over and I lunged at him.
He ducked and pushed me against the far end of the wall. “I knew you’d hurt her. Do you know she’s upstairs crying her eyes out because of you!? You have no idea how much she loves you, you piece of shit!”
“Don’t patronize me! If she really loved me, she wouldn’t be fucking you!”
“Get a clue, asshole! As much as I want to fuck her, she’s too in love with you to go for it.”
It took me a second to process what he had just said. “What?!”
“I haven’t fucked her since she left Iowa.” I saw the hatred and jealousy in his eyes and I knew he was telling the truth.
“So you guys haven’t had sex?” I asked in disbelief as I felt my anger dissipate.
“No.” Chris shook his head in annoyance.
“She’s not pregnant with your baby?”
“No.”
“So she hasn’t cheated on me?”
“No! God, how dense are you?”
I stared at Chris in silence as I tried to comprehend what this all meant.
“But I saw you open her apartment door half naked. How the fuck do you explain that?”
“Dude, I had just jumped out of the shower when you knocked. Alexis
hadn’t even gotten home from work yet.”
“Why were you over at her place though?” I looked at him suspiciously.
He shot me an impatient glare. “Look, as you seemed to have gathered, Alexis and I used to date. I fucked up and cheated on her, and she moved to San Francisco. Anyway, we recently started talking again on the phone and she confided in me on some things she was going through. I’ve been coming to SF for business lately. This time, I flew in a day early to hang out with Alexis and see how she was doing. My job wouldn’t pay for the accommodations for the extra night, so Alexis let me crash on her couch last night after dinner.”
I studied him as he spoke, trying to catch any indications that he was lying to me.
“Nothing has happened between us since she’s met you.”
As I took in the information, I realized something was still bothering me about the situation.
“So what’s this secret she’s been keeping from me? Is she pregnant?” A different wave of fear overcame me.
“You need to ask her that yourself.”
“You said she was upstairs?” I began to move toward the side door of the bar that led to the apartment units, but Chris gripped my shoulder with his hand and stopped me.
“Before you ask her a single question, you better fucking apologize for the shit you just did!”
“Trust me, I will!” I shrugged off his hand and rushed up to Alexis’s apartment.
How did I fuck up so royally? Why didn’t I give her the chance to talk? I need to set things right with her. I need her to forgive me or I’ll never be able to live with myself.
CHAPTER TEN
Alexis
I’d never cried like this before. I’d never felt every part of my body hurt like this as it shook and heaved as I wept. I’d never felt devastation, hopelessness, and loneliness all at once like this before.
“How could he?” I tried to understand how the man I loved had the heart to do this—and to do it spitefully in front of me. I’d thought he had changed. I’d thought he cared about me. I’d thought he had loved me. But when I’d seen the way he had taunted me with the blonde in his arms, my image of who I’d thought he was shattered into a million pieces along with my heart.
