by Reina Torres
The hand he raised to smooth back her hair was shaking.
And when he brushed the loose waves back from her face he saw her soft smile and sparkling eyes looking back at him.
“I need you too, Finley. So damn much, I don’t think I’m in love with you. I know I am. And I know-” he touched his fingers to her parted lips, “that you think I’m crazy, but I’ve been crazy since I was seventeen and following you around town just to be near you. So I don’t care how long you take to feel the same way or say the words.” He laughed softly, his eyelids beginning to drop from sheer exhaustion. “And if you never say them, it doesn’t matter to me, because I’m always going to love you, Fin.”
He felt her lips press lightly against his cheek, her fingers linking through his before their hands settled against his chest.
He swore he could hear her voice whispering softly into his ear, but he couldn’t understand a single word.
Chapter Thirteen
Finley was pretty sure she was in Hell. Or some kind of nightmare. Sitting up in bed, she struggled to blink fast enough to clear the sleep from her eyes. And regretted it when she realized there was a woman at the foot of Roman’s bed, screaming. Pointing one perfectly manicured nail in her direction, the nightmare made a demand. “Who the hell is she?”
Roman swung his legs off the bed and winced. “That's Finley, she-”
“Oh?” The shrill tone of her voice only seemed to climb. “So that's the sainted Finley!”
Roman started to stand and sank back down to the bed, his hand on his ribs. Finley scooted closer to help, and that earned her a laser-like glare. “Finley, this is Kathleen, my ex-wife.”
“Matt’s mother.” Kathleen's clipped tone was sharp enough to cut.
“What are you doing here?” Roman's tone was flat, almost cold.
“What am I-? No! The question is, what is she doing here?”
Finally on his feet, Roman turned a tired look in her direction. “She was with Matt when I was missing.”
“You mean you just left our son with your girlfriend-”
“Stop it!” The tearful shout came from the doorway. "Stop shouting!" Matt, in rumpled clothes and sleep-spiked hair, rubbed at his eyes. “You be nice!”
Kathleen's demeanor changed, but even the concern on her face looked brittle. “Hey, baby, I was so worried.”
The tight lipped pout said that Matt didn't believe her. “You yelled.”
“I was upset, sweetheart,” she moved closer and Matt backed away, “I drove all night, worried about you. I wanted to be here in case your dad-”
“Go away!” Matt’s face was red, his little chest sucking in one breath after another. “Take your naughty thoughts and go away!” The little boy burst into tears and darted off down the hall toward his bedroom. Roman went first. His first instinct was to calm his child. Finley slid from the side of the bed to follow. And got a face full of Kathleen.
The other woman looked her up and down with a disapproving shake of her head. “I didn't know you were back in town.”
“I don't know you,” Finley answered back and tried to move around her, but Kathleen blocked her way.
“You must have heard he was single and came running back. I bet you couldn't wait to move right in.”
“I just stayed the night.”
The smirk on her face gave Kathleen a predatory air. “You can't be that dense, can you?” She leaned in until they were nearly nose to nose. “He always said you were so sweet that it gave me cavities listening to him. But I think you're that dangerous.”
"Dangerous?" That was a slap in the face. “I wouldn't do anything to hurt Matt.” The unspoken words were clear in her expression. Finley had fallen for the little boy as well as his father.
Kathleen’s smile cracked the porcelain veneer of her makeup. “Dangerous, to me.” She narrowed her eyes. “Marriage to Roman was stifling,” she stiffened, “he wanted to spend time with me, he wanted more children and to live in this teeny little house. So I found someone who wanted the same thing I did," she looked like she was gloating, "and it was fun while it lasted, but Kent ended up just like Roman. Wanting to go 'home' and settle in Podunk, Middle Income America.” She nailed Finley with a look. "But I like the way things are now. I get to see Matt, and I get to see Roman when I want for as long as I want. But you," her tone grew even icier as it grew softer, "are really going to have to get out of my way."
“Roman would never keep you from Matt." Finley was confused. Roman would never put a wedge between Matt and his mother. He loved the little boy too much. He was too good of a man.
But then it dawned on her. Roman might be the best kind of dad, Kathleen was quite the opposite. ”But you'd keep Matt from him."
"I can see that we understand each other."
Kathleen smiled, and Finley shook her head. For someone as beautiful as Kathleen was, she certainly had an ugly streak a mile wide. "No," she sighed and struggled with the urge to knock the woman flat on her ass, "I don't understand you at all."
“I like a challenge." She lifted a hand and traced her French nails along the double strand of pearls around her neck. "But I think you're going to be too damn easy to knock off your pedestal." Kathleen walked over to the bed and looked at the rumpled comforter before skewering Finley with a look. "It won't take more than a few concerned calls to the appropriate agencies. A single overworked father with long hours, sleeping with his girlfriend a few doors down from his innocent child?” Kathleen gave her a long appraising look. “Would you put them through that? That kind of scandal would ruin him.”
No, Finley knew, it would kill Roman. His son meant everything to him, but she knew he'd try to keep them both. His love ran deep, all the way to his core. Roman was a family man and the best kind of person, loyal and dedicated.
But as devoted as Roman was, Kathleen was that determined to rip them apart. And Finley didn't have the heart to put that little boy or his father through hell. She'd barely been around, after all, and last night, holding him as they waited for word about Roman's safety, Matt had wrapped himself around her heart and she'd never let go of him there.
Finley looked up at Kathleen and knew that Roman's ex-wife had been playing a game of chicken, and Finley had blinked.
Kathleen nodded, her pale pink lips pulling up in a cadaverous smile. “I see you understand your position.”
Finley managed to keep her composure as she snapped up her sandals from the floor. But she felt it begin to crack when she opened the front door, she felt the cool fall air on her face.
This was, she was trying to convince herself, for the best. Since she'd come back to town, she'd been so determined to get what she wanted. She had set her heart on finding out what she'd been missing out of life. It was supposed to be so simple. Find a guy, any guy, and go wild for once. But 'no strings' had ended up tying her up in knots, because while she'd been enjoying Roman's hidden talents, she'd discovered that all of her carefully constructed walls had broken down and left her vulnerable to the one thing she'd knew could break her into pieces.
Love.
Not the XOXO, roses and chocolates kind of love. No.
The kind of love that she'd found meant that her 'wants' paled in the face of someone else's happiness. And if it was the last thing she could give Roman and Matt, she would give them at least a momentary reprieve from Kathleen's indignant anger.
#
Turning into the neighboring community of old Craftsman cottages, Roman struggled to keep his anxiety in check. From the moment Kathleen had come into Matt’s room, her arms folded across her chest, he'd known something was wrong.
By the time he'd wheedled the truth out of the second most stubborn woman he'd ever known, Matt was in tears a second time. But instead of running and hiding from his mother, the boy had gone for the door. “Dad! Your car!”
Matt was right. His car was in town, parked behind Pickers Produce. And that was why, as they followed the curving roads through the neighborhood
, they were driving Kathleen's frost white Jaguar with Matt’s extra booster seat in the back.
“Dad! Dad, how much longer?”
They pulled onto her street, and Roman felt his stomach cramp. The garage door was open, and the space where she kept the Rabbit was empty and dark. "I don't think she's here, buddy."
“What do you mean, Dad? She’s already gone!”
Roman turned his head as he slowed down outside of Finley’s house. “Her car isn't here.”
“Then drive, Dad! We have to catch up.”
He heard the drumming tattoo of Matt’s heels bouncing off of the Jaguar’s frame as he stared at the empty road ahead.
In his head he drew up the map of St. Helena that he had memorized after years of driving around the back roads as both a firefighter and a Mighty Mite Commander.
If Finley was already on the road, given the meandering curves of their neighborhood roads, there was no way for him to cut her off. The one road in and out of their subdivision would make that an impossibility.
“Hey, buddy?”
Matt looked up to meet Roman’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Yeah?”
Taking his phone in his hand, Roman reached back and tossed it onto the seat beside his son. “I need you to make a call for me.”
#
Finley was just about ready to kick herself. She should be hightailing it out of town, flooring the gas pedal like Thelma and Louise. But without the fiery crash thing at the end. But here she was, cruising down the main street in town, reminiscing about all the memories she had in all of these places, and nearly all of them involved Roman.
When she'd left Roman’s house she’d gone home and picked up her camera bag and tossed a few items of clothing on top of the equipment. She had spent years traveling around extensively with little more than a duffle and her camera bag. But now it was her heart that weighed her down, wanting her to stay right where she was.
The cars began to move, but she was slow to move. Second guessing her decision for a fourth or fifth time when she realized there was only one more stop light between herself and freedom. So pulling up her big girl panties, Finley pushed down on the gas pedal and sent her little yellow Rabbit rolling toward the end of town and freedom.
A siren interrupted her internal cheer, dropping her heart into her stomach as the traffic lights at the intersection flashed a warning with its red light, on and off again. Finley slowed again, coming to a stop at the white line as the large fire engine lumbered out into the road.
She hoped it would get on the road and clear the way for her to leave. But it didn’t. The engine shut down right there across the street, blocking both the incoming and outgoing traffic in St. Helena.
The door closest to her opened and a moment later, Adam Baudouin jumped down from his perch in the cab. She watched as he walked toward her. Normally talking to Adam was a fun thing, but she wasn't sure she liked that shit-eating grin on his face.
Stopping beside her door, Adam crouched down and knocked on her window. With a huff of frustration, Finley rolled her window down. “Adam. What-”
“Turn the engine off.”
She sat back and stared at him. “Adam, don't play around. Move the engine. I have to go.”
“Turn off the engine, Finley.” He repeated the order again, his lips lifting in an even bigger smile. “Now, please.”
She shook her head. “I'm sure you think this is funny, but-”
Finley leaned back as Adam reached in across her steering wheel and managed to yank the key from the ignition. When he backed away he had the keys dangling from his fingers.
“Hey, give those back!” When he only continued to move away, Finley set the brake and swung her door open, nearly forgetting to release her seat belt. “Adam, don't be an ass!”
He shrugged. “Harper likes my ass.”
“So do half the women in St. Helena after that last ad you posed for.”
Adam gave her a mock look of indignation. “Only half? I'm devastated.”
“Look, I like joking around, but not today. I have to-”
“You're supposed to sit tight for a few minutes.” The words came from the top of the truck. And as Finley looked up, Will leaned out over the edge. “So you're going to stay put.”
He reached out a hand and Adam tossed the keys up to him.
“Okay, seriously. This isn’t funny.”
“We didn't think so either.” Daugherty leaned against the engine, his broad bulk just inches from Seth's shoulder. “None of us knew you were planning to go.”
Folding her arms over her chest, Finley shook her head, the part of her anger that was bluster bled out with a huff of air. “I wasn't planning to go,” she explained, “it was a spur of the moment kind of a thing.”
“Never heard of Kathleen described that way,” Adam grinned at her, “but 'Spur' fits. Or maybe burr works better,” he coughed out a laugh, “she certainly knows how to get under Roman’s skin.”
“I never said a thing about Kathleen-”
Adam waved off her protest. “You didn't have to,” he answered back. “Hurricane Kathleen blows through every once in a while to shake up Roman’s life, but I never thought she'd send you running away.”
Finley felt her shoulders go ramrod straight. “I'm not- that's not what I’m doing.”
“Finley!”
She heard the voice and closed her eyes, hoping beyond hope that it was a figment of her imagination. Finley prayed aloud as she fisted her hands. “Please no… not-”
She felt the impact against her leg and bit her lip.
“Finley! We found you!”
‘We’ was a foregone conclusion.
Reaching down a hand, Finley felt the silky soft hair tickle her fingertips, and looked into Matt’s upturned face. “Hey, buddy.”
He frowned at her. “You were trying to leave.”
“Sorry. I was just-”
“But we caught you! We made it here in time.” His joy was infectious.
“Well,” she replied sheepishly, “if it wasn’t for the fire engine-” She turned and saw Roman’s knowing grin.
“You did this?”
“I made the call!” Matt pointed to his chest and then to his dad. “With his phone, cuz he was driving.”
She shook her head in amazement. “What if I’d already left town?”
Matt again. “I called Mr. Jonah.”
Finley turned a questioning look at Roman. “Pulling strings with public servants?”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” he replied and continued on before she could ask. “If you’d gone further than that, I was prepared to call in the National Guard, but I’m glad we stopped you here.”
“You can’t go, Finley!” Matt’s hold on her leg was very close to cutting off her circulation, but she couldn’t find much of a reason to get him to let go. “We need you.” He looked to his father for confirmation before nailing her with an anxious look. “Don’t you need us?”
The question hit her right where it hurt, where she thought she’d never let herself be hurt again. But this time, the pain was more than just sorrow. It was filled with love, something that this little boy and his father had given to her. “Oh, sweetie.” Finley crouched down beside him and held his shoulders as she looked into his eyes, so very similar to his father’s, “it’s not about that. I just wanted to make things easier.”
Easier because she wasn’t sure she could be the woman either of them needed. Easier because Kathleen wouldn’t have a reason to fight with Roman over their son. Easier because she didn’t want to think about what a huge mess she could make in both of their lives.
But as she looked at Matt, met his big dark eyes with her own, she did the only thing she could do, the only thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She wrapped her arms around him and held tight. “Yes,” she squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears, “I need you.”
She wasn’t sure, but she thought she heard a relieved sigh at her shoulder
.
“Fin?”
Standing slowly, her arm slipping around Matt’s shoulders as he wrapped his arms back around her leg, Finley turned to look at Roman and tried not to stare too much. She’d only said ‘goodbye’ to him in her mind a few hours ago, but as her eyes trailed over his casual jeans and t-shirt, she felt her heart thud against her chest and her blood rush through her veins. By the time she reached his chiseled jaw and full strong lips she was hoping her knees wouldn’t buckle as they stood there out in the street.
His eyes, though. His eyes took her breath away. How could she have seriously considered leaving him when she knew how much he cared? How much he had offered her when he’d given her his heart?
“I’m so sorry.” The words blurted from her lips before she could stop herself. “I thought I was making it better. I didn’t want you to lose-” She darted a glance at Matt before she met his eyes again. “I know how much you love him-”
“And you, Finley.” Roman reached out a hand, brushing back her loose waves from her face before gently cupping her cheek. “I’ve loved you for so long that I don’t think I’d be able to let you go ever again. I need you with me.” He reached out his free hand and ruffled Matt’s hair. “With us. And I’m ready to fight anyone if they try to stop us from being a family.”
She blew out a breath, her eyes watering again as she met Roman’s dark eyes hovering just inches from her lips. “You’re sure.”
His lips curved in a heart-breaking grin. “Absolutely. I’ve been sure since I heard you’d come back to St. Helena.”
Finley reached up a hand and slid it around the back of his neck, trying to ignore the hoots and hollers from the bunch of rowdy firemen standing around the engine still idling in the street, and rose up on her toes to kiss this gorgeous man who had given her his love.
“Wow, look!” Matt tugged on Finley’s shirt and she stopped a hairsbreadth away from Roman’s lips. Looking down at the little boy she gave him a quizzical look.
