by Vaughn, Eve
“And what did you plan on telling me?”
“That I lied. The way we left things the last time I saw you was wrong. I said some hurtful things like how you could have been any man and I would have responded. That’s not true. I responded because it was you. You can’t just shut off feelings no matter how much you want to.”
“And do you want to, Sadie?” She noticed the hitch in his voice that sounded like fear. Sadie wanted to reach out and grab his hand and reassure him that everything would be okay, but she was too afraid to take that step, afraid to allow herself to feel more than she dared to right then and there.
“Yes,” she said barely above a whisper. “I still love you, Rhys, but coming from the background that I did, I know children must be protected. My baby has to be my priority and regardless of how we feel for each other, I will never be one hundred percent comfortable having my child around Carys. I’m sorry.”
“But she’s in therapy. She’s excited at the prospect of having a sibling.”
She closed her eyes against his words. “I understand, but I can only go on past incidences. And you’re her father. What kind of man would you be if you didn’t stand up for her? And what kind of mother would I be if I didn’t protect my child?” She placed her hand on her belly. “Rhys, I may have been a little overboard when I said you’d only be able to see your child with supervised visits. Maybe we can still work something out with visitations. But as for the two of us getting back together. I just can’t see that happening, Rhys.”
“Are you saying there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
She shook her head. “I’d rather you didn’t try. If you love me like you say, then let me be, okay? Let me be by myself for a while. It’s what I need.”
“And when you’ve had this time alone, then what?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what the future holds, Rhys but for now, my complete focus will be on the baby.”
“I see,” he said quietly. Though he spoke the words, they weren’t said with much conviction. Sadie nearly got up to throw her arms around him but knew this was the best decision for her and her unborn child.
* * *
When Rhys dropped Sadie off at her hotel and waiting sisters, he didn’t dare look back because it hurt too damn much. He’d heard it said that a man wasn’t supposed to cry, but damn if he didn’t cry the entire four-hour trip home. He felt that he’d lost her all over again, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.
By the time he got home, it was late, his head ached and all he wanted to do sleep. He hoped his mother and Carys would be in bed. When he went into the house, he discovered his wish wasn’t granted. Carys was in the living room. The large screen television was on and the movie was watching her.
Rhys was tempted to head upstairs and let her sleep on the couch for the night, but he gently shook her shoulders. “Hey, Princess, it’s time to get up and go to bed.”
She slowly came awake with a stretch and a yawn. “Hey, Daddy. I was waiting for you.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s almost midnight and tomorrow is a school day, young lady.”
“No. My school is having an in-service day, remember?”
“Where’s your Nana?”
“She went to bed hours ago. She’s still getting over her jet lag.”
“I think you need to follow suit.”
“I wanted to see how things went with, Sadie.”
The expectant look in her eyes broke Rhys heart all over again. He knew Carys had been beating herself over the way things had ended between him and Sadie. She was trying so hard in therapy and she was rooting for him and Sadie to get back together. He didn’t know how he’d break it to her that it just wasn’t going to happen, at least not anytime soon. “We talked.”
“And?”
“We should probably leave it until the morning. I’m kind of tired and you’re not the only one who needs to go to bed.”
Carys’s face fell, her disappointment made him want to cry all over again. “She doesn’t want to get back together with you, does she?”
“We’ll talk about it in the morning okay?”
She nodded, seeming to be on the verge of tears herself. He grabbed the remote and turned off the television. Rhys escorted Carys to her bedroom and gave her a hug and kiss on the forehead before she entered her room. “Just remember, no matter what, I love you.”
Carys nodded, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears.
* * *
Sadie was glad to be home. Lily brought her back home the following afternoon. Daisy had flown back to L.A. and Rose had a flight to catch to Milan for a fashion show. Lily had to catch up on some work so Sadie was left alone which is what she wanted. The last few days were emotionally draining and all she wanted to do was sleep.
Someone else had other ideas for her, however. Just as she was about to lie down, her doorbell rang. She was tempted to ignore it, but the visitor would not go away. Sadie grumbled all the way to the door and looked out the peephole. She didn’t know who she’d been expecting, but this was the last person she thought she’d ever see on her doorstep.
Slowly she opened the door, not bothering to hide her surprise.
“Hi, Sadie. May I come in?”
Sadie hesitated for a moment before stepping back to allow her visitor to come in. “Sure, Carys.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Come.” Sadie stepped back enough to allow Carys inside. She wasn’t completely comfortable being around the teenager but there was something in the girl’s eyes that stopped Sadie from slamming the door in her face. Regardless of how Carys had treated her, she knew the two of them would have to see one another again anyway considering she was carrying Rhys’s baby.
Carys hesitated briefly before squaring her shoulders and stepping inside.
“Please have a seat.” Sadie gestured to the couch once they stepped into the living room. Can I get you something to drink?”
The teenager shook her head. “No, thank you.” Carys took a seat and looked around. “You have a nice place.”
“Thank you. Although I suspect you’re not here to discuss the décor of my house. How did you get here anyway and better yet, what are you doing here?”
“I asked a friend of mine to drop me off. I uh, got your address off my dad’s phone and we used GPS to get here.”
“Is your friend outside waiting for you?”
“No, she was on her way to the mall. I figured I could get a cab home.”
“I see,” Sadie said not really seeing at all. What was Carys up to? “Does your father know you’re here?
“No. And if he knew of my plans he probably would have stopped me. But I had to come.”
Sadie took the reclining chair cattycorner from the couch. Her lower back throbbed. It had been bothering her on and off since the night before. She rubbed the tender area silently vowing to have a long hot soak in the tub followed by some time with her heating pad. “Why?” she asked again.
Carys’s cheeks turned scarlet, her head lowered. “Because even though it may be too late, I have to fix what I did. Sadie…I…I’m really sorry for the way I acted. I really am. I was a brat and all I could think of was myself.”
Sadie didn’t know what to say. This was the last thing she’d expected from Carys. She’d long since let go of her anger towards the child, despite what Carys had done but sometimes saying sorry couldn’t fix everything. “I appreciate your apology Carys. It was very brave of you to come here and say it. Thank you.” Another pain shot through her back. She winced slightly, reaching around to rub the tender area that was bothering her.
“Sadie, I’ve been going to therapy these past several weeks and my therapist thought it would help me to get things off my chest and I wanted to tell you why I did what I did.”
“That’s not necessary Carys. I’ve already accepted your apology.”
Carys’s eyes glistened with tears. “Please?”
Sadie sighed,
leaning back in her chair now that the ache in her back subsided a bit. “Okay.”
“You already know my Dad is well off financially. He’s a good looking guy and he’s single so he’s dated a handful of women. Most of them, however, weren’t interested in being stepmothers. Whenever my Dad was around they’d smile in my face and act like we were best friends but when Dad wasn’t around it was like I didn’t exist. One of the women Dad dated before you was Barbara. I thought she was different because she actually seemed like a nice person. But then I heard her talking to someone on the phone saying nasty things about me, like how I was ugly and didn’t have social skills. And she said when she married my Dad she’d send me to a boarding school far away. I already felt insecure because my own mom didn’t want me and I really liked Barbara, but she thought I was a loser. That’s when I tried to make her as miserable as possible. I pushed her buttons to the point where I got her to attack me when she didn’t think my Dad was around. When I realized how easy it was to get rid of any of Dad’s other love interests I did it because I wanted to hurt them before they hurt me.” She paused for a moment to wipe a tear from her eyes.
Sadie understood where the teen was coming from. It made sense now why Carys had tried so hard to get rid of her. “That sounds awful, Carys.”
Carys looked down at her shoes as she continued. “I was also very scared. You see, when I was younger, I found out my dad and I wasn't blood-related. But he’s raised me since I was a baby but my insecurities made me think that eventually he’d have biological children and I’d be forgotten and I’d have no one.”
Rhys had confided in Sadie about the situation with his ex. It was one of the reasons she’d tried so hard to befriend Carys. Under most circumstance, Sadie would have hugged someone relaying such a heartbreaking tale but the wounds were still too fresh. “Carys, I hope you know how much your father loves you. He’d never abandon you for anyone, not even for a new child. He’d love you just as much as a child from his blood.”
“I know that now. But I didn’t before. I’ve still got a lot of work to do on me and I was hoping…well, I thought if you could just forgive me you and Dad can get back together again.”
Sadie raised both brows. Not in a million year would she have believed this child would approach her about reuniting with her father. While she appreciated Carys taking the time to come over and apologize, she feared it was too little too late for her and Rhys.
“Carys, I’m very glad you took the time to come over but I’m sorry—as far as your father and me getting back together it’s just not possible right now.”
Carys recoiled with her mouth falling open. “B-but you two broke up because of me. Sadie you’ve got to know I would never harm you or the baby. Even the old me would never hurt a baby. I’m not that crazy. But I promise I’ll try and if you can’t see yourself being around me. I understand. I can go live with my Nana.”
“Carys, I wouldn’t dream of asking you to move away from your father. He needs you as much as you need him. The problem between your father and me runs much deeper than you and I getting along.”
“But do you love him?”
Sadie didn’t want to answer. She could have lied but saw no point. “Yes. Part of me will always love your father.”
“And I know he loves you so why can’t you be together?”
Sadie shifted in her chair feeling slightly uncomfortable. Her bladder was heavy and she felt moisture in her panties. Needing to give herself some time before answering Carys’s question, she stood up.
“If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I need to run to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” By the time she made it to the bathroom, the throbbing in her back had returned but this time sharper than before. When she pulled down her panties to use the toilet, she noticed a large amount of blood.
She let out a cry of horror. Sadie had read that some women bled through their entire pregnancy which resembled a light to medium period. This, however, was more than she’d ever bled. Much more. She quickly emptied her bladder and started to panic when she saw clumps of blood in the toilet.
Tears stung her eyes. She was only twenty-four weeks pregnant, barely showing. She’d read babies weren’t viable until the twenty-fifth week of pregnancy. Sadie went through her medicine cabinet and retrieved a couple sanitary napkins. The next few minutes were a blur. She rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed her purse. Her only thought was to get to the hospital. She hoped and prayed a doctor could tell her everything would be all right and this was just one of those things. She was so focused on her getting to the hospital, she’d forgotten Carys.
Carys gave her a puzzled look. “Uh, Sadie where are you going?”
Sadie sniffed. “Oh God, I’m so sorry Carys but I have to run to the hospital. I’m bleeding.”
“Oh no! But you’re pregnant. Is that supposed to happen?”
“That’s why I’m going to the hospital. I have to get out of here.”
“I’m coming with you.”
Sadie hesitated. She couldn’t very well leave her here without any means of getting home. Maybe when the doctor examined her and told Sadie everything would be okay, she’d take Carys home. “Ok. Let’s go.”
With a passenger in the car, she tried to hold it together, but she couldn’t stop the tears. Carys patted her on the shoulder. “Sadie, it will be okay. I’m going to call my Dad okay?”
If Sadie wasn’t so wrapped up in getting to the hospital, the teen’s words would have registered but her only focus at the moment was saving her child.
* * *
Rhys did his best to concentrate on the research for his next book but all he could think about was his last conversation with Sadie. He couldn’t blame her for being cautious but his quest to win her back was frustrating as hell. Colin had told him to give her some time but it was difficult. He loved her. She was pregnant with their child and they belonged together. He wished she’d let her guard down just a little to let him in again.
The obnoxious ring tone Carys had set on his cell phone went off breaking him out of his musings. He grabbed it off his desk and saw Cary’s name pop up. “Hello, sweetheart. Do you need me to come pick you up from Marcy’s?”
There was a slight pause. “Dad, I didn’t go to Marcy’s. I had her drop me someplace else.”
He adored his daughter but sometimes she could push him to his absolute limit. He had to take a deep breath as he chose his words carefully. “Oh? Are we going to have to have a discussion about lying when you get home?”
“Dad, I went to see Sadie. I had to but before you get mad, we’re headed to the University Hospital.”
His heartbeat sped up. “What happened?”
“Sadie is bleeding. She’s scared she might be losing the baby.”
“I’ll be right there.” He hung up without giving her the opportunity to reply. He had to get to the hospital. He didn’t know much about pregnancy but he thought after the first trimester had passed the likelihood of miscarriage was slim. He didn’t want to lose this baby so he could only imagine how Sadie must feel. He hoped and prayed she would be okay.
His mother was still visiting from Wales but she was visiting Colin today. He thought about calling them but decided he’d wait to see what was going on at the hospital before getting either of them involved. As he drove to the hospital at a breakneck speed, he prayed silently that Sadie and the baby be okay.
* * *
When Sadie got out of the car, the blood had soaked through her pad and clothing. She was crying hysterically as she walked to the ER, a trail of blood following her. She was vaguely aware of Carys walking next to her clinging to her arm. The next twenty minutes flew by in a series of events: checking in, going to the bathroom to switch pads, collapsing to the floor as the pain in her back became unbearable, pulling the cord for assistance, being wheeled to an examination room and then being transferred to another room.
It didn’t dawn on her what was going on until she was placed on a table and her l
egs were placed in stir-ups, one nurse on either side of her legs. One of the OBs from the practice she visited for her prenatal care entered the room. Sadie was still waiting for someone to assure her everything would be okay but that didn’t happen. She vaguely heard the doctor mention something about the baby’s head being in her cervix. What did that mean? Could they stop whatever was happening to her? Could they save the baby?
“Okay Miss Flowers, the next time you feel that pain in your back, I want you to push.”
Already hysterical from the speed in which events were happening she let out a tortured scream. “Noooooooooo! The baby is too early. It’s too early!”
She cried and screamed and refused to push until the nurse kindly said to her, “If you don’t push, the baby will die for sure.”
Reluctantly, she pushed when the pain in her back hit her again. She barely felt anything sliding out when another team of doctors swarmed her and took away a small bundle. It wasn’t moving nor did it cry. Sadie was sure her baby was dead.
“What’s going on?” she demanded trying to get off the table to see where there were taking her child.
The doctor gripped her leg. “You’re going to need to push again to get out the placenta.” For the next several minutes, the doctors and nurses worked on her, all, while the mysterious team of medical professionals were in an attached room working on something she could only assume, was the baby—perhaps trying to revive it.
The OB mentioned having another emergency he had to see to and wished her good luck. While his bedside manner left much to be desired her concern was what was happening with the baby. “Please, tell me what’s going on with the baby.”
The nurse dabbed her forehead with a damp cloth. “The NICU team is doing their best to save your baby. But in the meantime, you’ve lost a lot of blood. We’re going to have to order two units of blood for you.”
