by Kasie West
“This is my best friend, Shay, from home,” I said.
Brooks, who had been looking at me, shot his eyes over to Shay. Then he gave me a look of concern.
I cleared my throat. “Oh, um, Shay this is Kai, Brooks, Ian, and Levi.”
“The band,” Shay said. “Nice shirts.”
With her words, I glanced down at their shirts. They were the brightly colored tees from the back room at camp with the big bear heads on them. Brooks wore an open flannel over his and Kai a black blazer.
“Matching outfits,” I said with a nervous laugh. Seeing Ian all confident and decked out and happy made me feel guilty.
Lauren nudged me with her elbow and I took a deep breath.
“Can we talk?” Brooks said, his eyes on mine, and I swallowed the words that were about to come out.
“Yes,” I said. “I mean, no. I mean, in a minute? I have something I need to say first.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lauren hold up her phone. It made me more nervous. Kai in all his charismatic glory gave me a smile. “Speak away, Avery.”
I gnawed at my lip. This was supposed to be my moment, the “speak my truth and claim what I earned” moment, but unfortunately even though perspective could change in an instant, I was still me. I still didn’t like conflict. And this was hard. Harder than I wanted it to be. I liked Ian. He was a nice guy. But that didn’t mean I deserved this less, I reminded myself.
“I told him,” Brooks said. “You were right, I should’ve and now I did. I told all of them.”
I turned toward him, confused for a second. “What?” I said the word in the same moment I realized what he was saying. He probably thought I wanted to tell everyone about me and him. “Oh. That’s…good.”
“I’m so confused,” Shay said.
“We like each other,” Brooks said. “Well, I like her. And I don’t normally make public announcements about, well, about anything, but she…you…make me want to open up. I like you, Avery, and I hope you still like me.”
I melted a little. His public declaration was going to derail me because it was so sweet and it made me want to hug him and not make his life complicated with my demands. I fisted my hands. No. I was going to do this and possibly risk what was standing in front of me all vulnerable and cute.
“I do still like you,” I said. “A lot. But that’s not what this is about.”
“It’s not?” he asked.
“Avery, you got this,” Lauren whispered from my side.
I smiled at her and mouthed, “Love you.” Then I took a deep breath, looked at the band, and said, “I should be singing today. I want to sing today.”
Ian’s perfect smile faded. Brooks’s attention went straight to Ian, a worried expression on his face. Levi and Kai began talking to each other but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.
I pressed forward. “I earned the spot. If I hadn’t sung that day, the band wouldn’t have made it.”
“You haven’t practiced with us,” Kai said.
“No, you haven’t practiced with me,” I said. “I know I can do it. I know these songs. I wrote these songs. And honestly, I think I’ll give you the best shot at winning.” To Brooks, I added, “One of the judges said we had tons of chemistry.”
Brooks had his unreadable face on and I was beginning to think I’d been wrong in the car. I had thought I could only walk away from tonight with one of the things I wanted. But it hadn’t occurred to me until this moment that it was possible I could walk away with neither. I couldn’t let that fear stop me. “I should sing,” I said again, this time only to Brooks.
“She’s right,” Brooks said, shocking me. “We only made it because of her. I didn’t think you wanted to. I thought you were just doing me a favor. That it made you super nervous. But if you want to, you earned it.”
Ian was nodding when I turned to him with an apologetic expression. “Avery, yes, this is yours if you want it. I should’ve talked to you about it.”
“No, I didn’t own it. But I’m owning it now.”
“Can I sing backup?” he asked.
“Of course!” I had one more declaration, though, that I wasn’t sure he was going to support. “But we’re singing the love song.”
Kai groaned. “I won’t play if we sing that song. That song doesn’t even fit with a full band. It sounds ridiculous.”
“You’re right,” Brooks said, and just when I thought he was going to back up Kai, he finished with, “You can all leave the stage for the second song. I’ll play acoustic while Avery sings.”
Kai felt betrayed. It was more than obvious by the hurt expression he now held. “You’re only saying all that because she’s your girlfriend.”
“I’d say it either way,” Brooks said. “It’s the better song.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Whatever,” Kai said, and walked away.
“He’s such a baby,” Levi said. He held his fist out for me and I bumped it. “Let’s rock today and don’t worry about Kai; he always comes back. I should know.”
I smiled.
The loud screech of feedback rang through the air. A voice came over the speakers. “Welcome, music fans!”
Everyone cheered.
All the nerves and emotions that had been raging through me during the confrontation seemed to come pouring out, melting my muscles. I needed a place to sit and decompress before we actually had to perform. So I turned and walked away.
“Avery,” Brooks called.
I kept walking, not because I didn’t want to talk to him, but because when we did, I wanted it to be in some hidden corner away from everyone, away from the speakers. I made it to the row of food trucks just as Brooks fell into step beside me. I cut left, to the back side of the trucks, and finally stopped behind a rattling generator and took a seat on a patch of grass.
He sat down next to me.
“I shouldn’t have said screw you the other day,” I blurted out. “I’ve never said that to anyone before.”
“Wow, I’m the first? I feel so honored.”
“It didn’t feel as good as I had hoped it would.”
He laughed but then his eyes went serious. “I know why you said it and I’m sorry. It all came out wrong. I didn’t mean that you couldn’t have done this without me. I just meant that I had your back that day when you were scared. You could’ve done it without me. You’re amazing.”
“I don’t want to do it without you,” I said.
“I don’t want to do it without you either. I’m so glad you came today. That you’re going to sing. The songs didn’t sound the same without you.”
“Do you think Kai will play the first song with us?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes. He’s fine.”
I reached my hand out for his and he was happy to comply. “Thanks for telling the guys about us.”
“It was never about not wanting them to know.” He shifted closer to me. “You know that, right? I do see a future with you. We’re practically neighbors. I mean, if you didn’t think I’d take that as a sign, you don’t know me at all.”
I smiled. “Plus, you owe me all your future children. So there’s that.”
“Well, that’s only if we win today,” he said.
“Then I guess we better win.”
He laughed.
“Should we go practice?” I asked.
He nodded but didn’t move.
I stretched up and kissed him.
We headed back to where we’d left the group. My head was buzzing from pride and my lips were stinging from kissing Brooks.
I reached out and grabbed his hand as we walked. He looked back at me, a smile on his face, and gave my hand a squeeze.
“Hey, you’ll still like me even if we don’t win today, right?” I asked.
<
br /> “I’ll still like you even if we lose every day for forever.”
“That sounds like a lot of losing,” I said.
“Avery!” My name rang out above the music. I turned and saw Maricela holding a corn dog in the air while weaving through the crowd. She was flanked by Tia and Clay. When she reached us, she threw her arms around me. “Ian said you’re singing! Is that true?”
I nodded.
“I’m so proud of you!”
“That’s awesome,” Tia said.
“Is that what you asked the moon for?” Clay asked.
I laughed. “I guess, sort of.”
“That’s a solid wish,” he said. “I need to up my moon game next year.”
“Have you talked to Kai?” I asked Mari, wondering if he’d cooled off yet. I really did want the full band to play for the first song.
“No, I haven’t seen him in a while.” She pointed her corn dog at Brooks. “Is your mom here yet? I want to say hi.”
“No. Why would she be?”
“Because I invited her,” she said in a duh voice. “Which I shouldn’t have had to do. You should’ve invited her.”
“You really like to stick your nose into everyone’s business, don’t you?” he said, but his voice didn’t sound too angry.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, get ready to be disappointed. Because she won’t be here.”
“You want to make a friendly wager?” she asked.
I relinked hands with him and squeezed.
“Oh really?” Mari said, pointing between the two of us. “Nobody ever listens to my advice.”
“I do,” Clay said.
“Oh please,” Tia said. “You don’t listen to anybody.”
Brooks narrowed his eyes at Maricela. “What advice have you been giving?”
“I said you’re a hot mess.”
“Well, that’s true,” he responded.
“That’s not true,” I said. “Life is messy. It’s better when we try to get through it together.”
“Okay, Socrates,” Clay said.
Tia elbowed him. “Don’t be dumb. She was making a good point. We’re all in this together.”
“Aw!” Maricela said, and smooshed us into a group hug.
* * *
I felt different this time as we stood off to the side of the stage, waiting to go on. The screams of hundreds of people were drowning everything out, but also vibrating through me, like the energy was holding me up, urging me on. Levi and Ian were on my left and Brooks was on my right, but Kai was still MIA.
The band onstage finished their song. “Should we borrow their drummer?” I asked as a joke, but Brooks seemed to seriously consider it.
“No,” he said after a moment. “We’ll be fine.”
“Please welcome to the stage Two Thousand Bear Heads!”
More cheering pulsed through the air. I jumped up and down a few times to try and channel my energy, then said, “Let’s do this.” I walked with purpose up the stairs and to the microphone. I grabbed hold of it with both hands. “Hello, Roseville!”
I smiled as the volume of the crowd rose again. “Our first song for you tonight is called ‘Rewriting History.’ ”
A drumroll rang out and I turned to see Kai sitting on his stool.
“Told you he always comes back,” Levi said from my left.
Brooks swung his guitar around to his front and gave me a wink. “You got this.”
And I did.
It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be to look out at the sea of faces, especially when I saw some familiar ones that had worked their way closer to the stage—Lauren, Shay, and Maricela.
This time through the song was ten times better than the last. It wasn’t because I was perfect, because I wasn’t. But I had a whole band backing me up. Kai busted out a drum solo when I missed a cue and Ian chimed in when I forgot a lyric. And I finished out the second verse strong and beamed at the audience when they clapped.
Brooks stepped up beside me and leaned into the microphone. “Isn’t she amazing? Avery Young, everyone!”
My smiled stretched even farther.
Brooks jerked his head to the side and the rest of the band filed off the stage while he switched his electric guitar for his acoustic. Then he was beside me at the microphone again. “Our second song tonight is called…” He stopped. “Did we ever name this song, Avery?”
“I don’t think we did,” I said, sharing the mic with him and meeting his eyes. “I’ve just been calling it the love song…because…well, because it’s about our journey this summer.” I stopped and felt my cheeks go red. “I mean, I think that’s what it’s about. Is your verse about me?”
“Of course my verse is about you,” he said. “Is your verse about me?”
“Yes.”
At least half the crowd let out a big “Awwww!” and my cheeks got even redder. I hadn’t meant to share that discovery with an audience, but either way, my stomach was filled with flapping wings of happiness.
Brooks kissed my cheek to another wave of “Awww!”
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
The melody flowed through his fast-moving fingers as he picked the strings. This time I did look at him, not because I needed to but because I wanted to, and I sang.
“Sometimes the stars align
Sometimes the path seems moved for you
Sometimes it’s just in time
Exactly when hope was almost through
And sometimes is all I need
And more than I deserved
So I read into every sign
Because sometimes, yes this time, sometimes brought me you
Sometimes the moon goes dark
And the path ahead unclear
Sometimes I miss my mark
And I’m living in constant fear
But sometimes is all I need
To grow and try and learn
Because sometimes, yes this time, sometimes brought me you”
Brooks played the last note and we held each other’s gaze for another three beats. I could hear my blood flowing in my ears, muffling the noise of the applause.
“You’re pretty cool,” Brooks whispered.
I leaned in and kissed him.
* * *
“You are amazing!” Shay screamed when I found her, Lauren, and Maricela after our set. “Who even are you?”
I laughed.
“She’s Avery Freakin’ Young,” Maricela said.
“No, seriously,” Shay said. “You’ve only been gone for seven weeks, right?”
“I’m glad you came,” I said to Shay.
“Me too.”
Lauren hadn’t said a word and I thought it was because she was recording, but then I noticed her phone wasn’t out. “Did your battery die?” I asked.
She shook her head, her eyes shining.
“Lauren,” I said. “Are you okay?”
She pulled me into a hug. “You sounded so good.”
I had forgotten she’d never heard me perform.
“I’m so proud of you.”
I hugged her back, closing my eyes. “You didn’t really think I could do it, did you?”
“No!” she said, but then smiled. “Yes, I did.”
“Thank you.”
She squeezed me hard before we pulled apart. I looked around, my happiness from seconds ago wavering. “Where are Mom and Dad? Are they mad about me and Brooks?”
“No,” Lauren said. “They were just here.” She looked around, then pulled out her phone.
As she brought up her text messages, I caught a glimpse of Dad across the way. “We don’t need it,” I said.
“No?”
I pointed
.
“Who’s he talking to?” Shay asked.
She was right—he was talking to someone, and at first I was just mildly curious, but as we walked closer, I realized it was Brooks. I picked up my speed but then saw the smile on Brooks’s face, and by the time I got to his side, my dad was smiling as well.
“Hi,” I said. “Everything okay over here?”
Mom hugged me. “Good job, honey.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
Dad took me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. “You were so brave.”
I smiled against his chest.
“When do you find out if you won?” he asked, and I laughed.
“At the end of the night, sir,” Brooks said.
“You got that all on video, right?” Dad asked Lauren.
“Of course. What do you think I am, an amateur?”
As they talked about Lauren’s video, I looked over at Brooks.
“I promise to never run away from things I want, even if they scare me.”
“Good promise,” he said.
I took his hand. “I want you to make it too.”
“You think I run away from things that scare me?” he asked.
“Far away,” I said. “What is this, like four hundred miles?”
He smirked. “Good point.” Something over my shoulder caught his eye and his smile slid off his face.
“What is it?”
“Mom?” He moved around me and was soon embracing a dark-haired woman.
“I think he owes me something,” said Maricela, who had just joined us. “Did I forget to finish that bet earlier?”
“I think you did.”
Brooks turned back toward me and held his hand out.
“Wish me luck,” I said to Mari, and she gave me a shove in Brooks’s direction.
“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Avery,” he said when I was at his side. “Avery, this is my mom, Teresa.”
“Avery, nice to meet you. I enjoyed the performance.”
“Thank you.”
Brooks seemed awkward, a bit uncomfortable, but I had a feeling his mom being here was a huge step in the right direction.
* * *
