by Lesley Crewe
She tore into the kitchen. Beth held the scissors in her hand.
Mom held her heart. “Oh, thank God. You have to be careful, Beth. Don’t leave sharp things around where they can reach them.”
Beth looked dismayed. That’s when their mother looked at the huge pile of blond hair all over the kitchen floor.
“My God, Beth. What have you done?”
She looked like she wanted to cry. Lexie couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Yes, Beth, what have you done?”
Beth got red in the face. Then she held her nose and covered her mouth. The three of them started to laugh. They laughed so hard, tears streamed down their faces. Just when they had settled down, dear little Madison walked back into the kitchen and they started all over again.
Poor Rory screeched louder than their mother when he came through the door. He shook his head and told Beth it would cost more money to fix the problem than it would have cost to take them to the hairdresser’s in the first place. Rory took her in his arms and said not to worry. He’d keep her.
After supper, Mom, Beth and Lexie sat in the family room and nursed their tea. Rory was on the computer and the girls took Josh downstairs with them to watch videos.
Lexie asked Mom, “How’s Kate?”
“Oh, she and Daphne are enrolled in a scuba diving course.” She rolled her eyes. “They have every night of the week booked with one thing and another.”
“I hope they learn to dive better than they cook,” Beth smirked. “Rory still whines about that horrible dressing. I had to buy a big chicken two days later and stuff it, just to get him to shut up.”
“Your man is set in his ways,” Lexie smiled. “You spoil him rotten.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here for.”
“You’re such a Susie Homemaker,” Lexie said.
“Nonsense, it’s not about being a Susie Homemaker. I treat him nicely because he treats me nicely. I know what’s important in my life. Willie taught me that.”
They sat and thought about it.
Mom said, “Always let your husband know you love him, girls. It’s the little things in life that add up to the big things, the everyday gestures. Don’t ever take them for granted, because one day, they aren’t there anymore and you’ll wish you had one more chance.” She looked at Lexie, and smiled sadly.
“Is it bad, Mom? Living without Daddy?” Beth asked.
“I’m extremely sorry to say that most of the time it doesn’t feel any different. Your father wasn’t home that often anyway, or I was out, or he was in his study.”
She clasped her hands. “But I miss him dreadfully when I lie in an empty bed. He used to sing in the shower and I miss that. And when I hear a creak at night, I still go to give him a shove and send him downstairs to take care of it.” She sighed. “And I sure miss him on holidays, or when the children visit, to chuckle over the milestones—like missing teeth—you know, silly things like that.”
Mom turned to Lexie. “You must get lonely, all by yourself in that house.”
Lexie took a gulp of tea. “It’s become a way of life, I’m afraid. I’ve become so set in my ways, no one would have me anyway.”
“I can’t believe that,” Mom scoffed. “There’s lots of men who’d want you, if you gave them half a chance.”
“She wants Adrian,” Beth said.
Mom looked fed up. “He left you in the lurch and then he left Gabby. Isn’t that enough of a clue to tell you he’s not dependable?”
“He is dependable. He was sick when he was here. He’s not like that anymore.”
“And how in the world would you know that?” Beth asked.
Lexie scratched the side of her teacup. Then took a sip.
“How do you know?” Beth persisted.
“He told me.”
Mom and Beth looked at each other, and then back at her. “When?” Mom shouted
“The other day.”
“Have you gone crazy?” Beth yelled.
“He came to see me.”
“Just out of the blue? With no warning or anything?”
“No. He called first.”
Beth threw a teddy bear at her. “You rat. You never told me!”
Lexie shrugged.
“I tell you everything. Just why in the world would you keep this a secret?”
Lexie put down her cup. She grabbed the bear and hugged it.
“Because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I felt myself, so I could hardly explain it to someone else.”
“Why on earth would he come back like this?” said her mother. “After being away so long. I don’t understand.” She shook her head, and then looked as if she remembered something. “Is that the night you asked me to baby-sit Josh, the night you wanted to go for a drink with friends? I knew you acted a little funny.”
Lexie nodded.
“So?” Beth asked. “Why the hell did he come back now?”
“To tell me he loved me.”
They looked at her and couldn’t speak.
“Can I have some more tea?”
Beth looked at Mom. Mom looked at Lexie.
Beth crossed her arms. “No! You can’t have any tea. Not until you spill your guts.”
“Fine. I’ll get it myself.” Lexie got up and walked into the kitchen. She heard Beth behind her. “Rory?!”
“What?”
“If the kids want anything, will you get it for them because I can’t be interrupted.”
There was a pause. “What are you three up to? Having a séance?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then. While you’re at it, find out who wins the football game next Saturday.”
“Oh, shut up.” Beth was in her chair by the time Lexie came back with her tea.
It was a long and painful process. When she told them about Binti and her mother and Adrian’s terrible journey, they were incredulous at one moment and in tears the next. It really did sound like a soap opera after awhile, except the people were real and it was too tragic, even for daytime television.
“Oh, that precious child,” her mother cried, as she wiped her eyes on her napkin, or what was left of it. “Thank God he went back for her. I’m sorry I said he wasn’t dependable. He’s not weird at all.”
Beth also cried into her napkin. “That poor girl. My God, there is so much horror in the world. We don’t know anything that goes on.”
Lexie listened to the two of them prattle on about Adrian’s story. When she said it out loud, it felt different, so hurtful and sad. Poor Adrian.
They were finally quiet for awhile. Then Beth said, “Lexie. There’s something I don’t understand. I know Adrian had to go back for the baby. But how did he explain Gabby? If he loved you, why did he go with her?”
“I asked him that. He said Gabby was a moment, but I was forever.”
Mom and Beth looked at each other. It was Beth who spoke first. “Who on earth talks like that? God. How romantic.”
“What did you say when he told you he loved you?” Mom asked her.
“That he didn’t really love me.”
Beth’s hand had reached up to blow her poor red nose again, so her arm hung in mid-air. Her mother had wiped her eyes at that moment, so she played hide and seek. After those few frozen seconds, they lowered their arms and waited.
“I told him he only thought he loved me—that I was a safe place when he needed one. I told him our lives were different and I had learned to stand on my own two feet. So basically I said thanks, but no thanks.”
Beth and Mom looked down at their hands and didn’t say anything. They sneaked peeks at one another. They stayed like that for so long Lexie got annoyed.
“It’s my decision you know, and I think I made the right one.” She wanted them to understand. “He upsets my life. I need a smooth ride from now on. I’ve suffered from way too much drama, up and down like a stupid yo-yo. I’m finished with that. Adrian’s the past. I need a future.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” M
om said, rather sadly.
“You know best.” Her sister sounded sad too.
“Look. Think about it. How can I be happy with someone Gabby still loves?”
It was Beth who opened her mouth first. “Look, it might sound cruel to say all’s fair in love and war, but in this case it’s true. Adrian didn’t come back for Gabby. He came back for you.”
Lexie gave them a worried look. “You think I’m wrong?”
“Lex,” Beth said softly, “You’ve waited for him for so long. And then you send him packing? Does that sound sensible? I don’t understand.”
“Mom?”
“Dearest, the choice is yours. Only you can decide what to do. But I know you. Sometimes you’re afraid to jump, that’s all.”
Lexie called Kate and told her the story.
“Lex, Adrian was gone a long time. He’s lived a life we can’t imagine. He’s travelled in a world we can’t know. He had no reason to come back to you, except one.”
She sat with her dad in comfortable silence and touched the headstone when she left.
Lexie lay in bed that night and thought it over. She opened her window and listened to the tide. She heard the water moving, always moving. One day she’d be gone, but the water would remain. It called to her.
Jump, Lexie, Jump.
She told Josh. He grinned.
She told Susan. Susan punched her arm for not telling her sooner. She said whatever made Lexie happy, made her happy.
She didn’t call Gabby.
She told Beth. “Well, it’s about fucking time.”
She told Mom. “You deserve every happiness, darling.”
She held her breath and called Adrian. She didn’t know if he’d still be there, wherever there was.
He picked it up right away.
“Lexie?”
“Come home Adrian.”
She heard the phone go dead.
Chapter Twenty
Joss went into Sydney for supplies, whistling as he drove, something he did a lot of these days. Why didn’t he come back years ago? It was good to be around his brothers and their families. He and Aaron especially chummed around like they did when they were younger. His parents were happier than he had seen them in years. His dad was pretty agile with his cane. He’d sit in the garage and watch Joss repair his nets. There were always a group of fellas that hung around out back all day, his father’s cronies and his own.
Joss though he’d buy the small house just down the road. Old Mrs. Morrison finally went into a home, and her place was for sale. He knew his mother was delighted with the prospect of him being so close.
He ran around Sydney, picking up this and that for the boat. It was close to supper hour. He figured he’d have a beer and a steak at the tavern before he headed out for the long drive home. When he opened the door, a thick fog of smoke hung in the air. The hockey game blared from TVs all over the room and guys were hunkered around tables drinking draft.
Joss sat down with someone he knew from school. That’s when Tom came up behind him, three sheets to the wind, and slapped him on his back. “Holy shit, look who’s here.”
Joss turned around.
“Christ,” Tom bellowed. “I haven’t seen you in a dog’s age. I thought you were still up north.”
“I came home to help my old man with the boat.”
Tom smirked, “Ya sure? Didn’t cross your mind to come back and give some more to Lexie.”
Josh stood up. “Don’t talk about her that way.”
Tom picked up on the tone. “Sorry, sorry, no offence meant. Just thought you might want to pick up where you left off.”
“Why would I? She’s married.”
Tom screwed up his face. “Married? Shit, Lexie’s not married. Who told you that load of crap?”
Joss threw a twenty dollar bill on the table and walked out the door.
She was alone, waiting on the porch. She didn’t think of anything or see anything. The ocean kept her company.
Car lights turned onto the street and the taxi pulled up. He got out, ran up the steps and stopped. He looked at her. He wore her sweater.
“Lexie—”
“Don’t talk—hold me.”
It was morning. Sunlight poured in the window. She had to get up and call Mom to tell her what time she’d pick up Joshua. She threw off the duvet. Adrian grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. “Come here. Where are you going?”
She snuggled up close again. “I thought you were asleep.”
He rubbed her arm. “I can’t sleep. I’m afraid you won’t be here when I wake up. Just stay with me. I need you.”
Adrian was a gentle lover. It felt wonderful to have someone hold her. She’d been so lonely. He kissed her over and over, softly. This is what she needed, someone to love her. She wanted him to take care of her.
“Thank you Lexie,” he’d murmur against her mouth between kisses.
“I love you Adrian.”
As he ate his breakfast, she went to get Josh. Mom met her at the door with a wide smile on her face.
“How are you darling?”
“Wonderful.”
“Bring him over for supper why don’t you?”
Lexie gave her a look. “Mom. I don’t want to drag him all over town right away. We need some time together.”
“Of course,” Mom nodded. “You’re right, but if I can help in any way, you know, take Josh in the evening if you want to go out, you only have to say.”
She leaned over and kissed her. “Thanks, Mom.”
She carried Josh down the steps. She looked over her shoulder. “By the way, tell Beth not to call me. I don’t have time for twenty questions.”
“I’ll tell her you said that.” Mom blew her a kiss.
“This is Joshua. Say hi to Adrian, honey.”
Adrian reached out to shake his hand. “Hello Joshua.”
Joshua hid behind her leg and wouldn’t look at him.
“Sorry about that,” she laughed. “He’s not used to a lot of men I’m afraid, only his uncle Rory. We’re a family of women.”
“I remember.”
“Do you want to watch The Little Mermaid, sweetie?” Josh nodded against the back of her knee.
“I’ll just get him organized and be right back.”
“I’ll pour you a cup of coffee and start these dishes,” he smiled.
Oh, this was so much fun, the three of them playing house.
Josh and Sophie settled in on the big sofa with a juice cup and crackers and laughed at Sebastian, the hermit crab. Adrian and Lexie sat across the table from each other in the kitchen and held hands.
“Can you believe this?” she grinned. “It’s us. Together. Do you know how often I wanted this to happen?”
Adrian smiled at her. “Really?”
She drank him in. “Yes. And I always wanted to do this.” She reached over and put her hand through his hair to brush it off his face.
He kissed her hand. “We belong together. I always want to be with you.”
“Even when I have to go to work?”
“Even then.”
They laughed. “Marlene will be happy.”
That night in bed, as Adrian held her, he asked about Joshua’s father.
“Was he someone you were with for a long time?”
“No.”
“Why did you break up?”
“He left.”
Adrian looked down at her with a worried frown. “Were you upset? That must have been awful, to leave you when you were pregnant. How could he do such a thing?”
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to talk about it. She hugged him tighter. “It doesn’t matter now. I have Josh, and now I have you. What more do I need?”
They went for a walk on the beach the next morning. Josh chased around after sea gulls and tried to make them come to him, but they were too high. They talked about how this would work—where they’d live and how they’d manage their children.
“I have to
go back soon and tell Mom what’s happened,” Adrian said. “I told her I’d be away until I knew where I stood with you.”
They walked arm in arm, over the hard sand. “So she knows about me?”
“Yes.” He smiled at her. “I told her all about you. She wants to give you a big kiss, for being so sweet to me.”
She looked up at him. “It was my pleasure.”
He kissed her quickly, then stopped and did it properly. “No. It’s all mine.”
They walked back to the house. A car drove by and suddenly screeched its brakes, which startled them. Lexie glanced over and there was Donalda, sitting behind the wheel, looking as if she’d seen a ghost.
She rolled down the window.
“Adrian?”
“Hi.”
Lexie pointed at him. “Remember that guy I had a date with?”
Donalda rolled up her window and laid rubber, as if to get as far away from her as fast as possible. Poor Donalda.
Lexie took Josh over to her mother’s house. “Thanks for this, Mom.”
“No problem. You two need some alone time.”
“I know, we have to make some plans. Why don’t you bring him over about four, and we’ll have supper together.”
“Sounds good. Can’t wait.”
Lexie ran down her mother’s back steps just as Beth’s van pulled up in the driveway. All the girls were asleep in their car seats.
Beth smiled at her. “Hi, I was just passing and I saw Betsy. So, tell me—how’s it going with lover boy?”
“He’s wonderful. He’s so considerate of my feelings. It’s like he doesn’t want to break me or something.”
“God. What a drag!”
Lexie hit her on the arm. “Get lost. We aren’t all in heat.”
“I know. Poor you.” She glanced in the rear view mirror. “Oh, hell, they’re about to wake up. Have to dash.” She blew her a kiss and zoomed out of the driveway in a hurry.
Lexie muttered, “Huh. I’ll show you passion.” She drove home and ran into the doorway of the living room out of breath. She started to unbuttoned her shirt.
“Hurry up and take off your clothes.”
Adrian threw his magazine in the air and chased her up to the stairs.
