Jax pulled himself from his thoughts and handed the stray a towel to dry himself with before handing him the food.
The stray sat down with his food in the corner of the room, and Jax watched him as he ate. He was a very good-looking male. He would like to touch him more but didn’t want to hurt him. Strays were more fragile than hybrids. He might break, and Jax didn’t want to break his pretty gift.
“What are you going to do with me?” the stray asked.
“I have not decided yet,” Jax said honestly.
“Where are Nicky and River?”
“Your friends are not here. You will not see them again. This is good for you.”
There was a loud bang on his door, and Jax narrowed his eyes as Charleston stepped into the room. “Leave,” Jax told him.
Charleston chuckled. “I had to see if it was true. The alpha gave you a gift, or did you steal him and hide him here?”
“I would never steal from the alphas,” Jax said, staring hard at him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Ask him. I don’t care,” Jax said.
Charleston made a face. “You will still do as I tell you.”
Jax glared at him and stood his ground. “No, I won’t.”
Charleston glared at him. “You will!”
“I won’t,” Jax insisted, and his claws twitched.
“I will tell them that you are a bad hybrid who doesn’t listen.”
“Tell them,” Jax said with a shrug.
“You don’t think I will.”
Jax huffed. “I know you will. I don’t think they will listen.”
“You think yourself Prime above all Prime?”
Jax shook his head. “No, I think nothing. I simply do as I’m told.”
Charleston chuckled. “So if he told you to obey me again, would you?”
A ripple of fear ran down Jax’s spine, and he tried to keep the other Prime from smelling it. “It would have to come from his lips. Not yours,” Jax said softly. “You can leave now.”
Charleston stared at him a long moment before grunting and leaving the room.
Jax breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed the palm of his hand to help calm himself.
“Are you okay?” the stray asked.
Jax blinked and turned to look at him. “I am not injured,” he said, slightly confused by the question.
The stray forced a smile. “What did you say your name was?”
“I am…. They call me Jax here.”
“I’m Lloyd.”
Jax pulled his gaze away from the stray and shook his head. Reaching over, he grabbed his empty tray and the stray’s from the floor and stalked out of the room to put them in the bin to be washed in the common room. He glanced at a young hybrid as it scrambled over to grab the wash bin. He was already sporting several deep cuts and bruises from scuffles with the older hybrids. He remembered clearly his time as a new one. He did not enjoy it.
The sound of Charleston’s voice caught his attention, and he looked outside. He was speaking with the blaster man. The blaster man was a stray who made things go boom and explode. They kept motioning to the pack house, which Jax thought was odd, but he couldn’t quite hear what they were saying.
Charleston caught him watching and tossed him a dark smile.
Jax looked away quickly and went back to his room. The stray watched him as he checked the chains and double-checked the door to be sure it locked properly.
“It’s not like I’ll be able to sneak away from here,” the Lloyd stray said with a huff.
“This is not just for you. You do not want Charleston in here while I am away.”
Lloyd looked worried. “You’re leaving?”
“I have work.”
Lloyd frowned. “You know, you could just let me go. Help me out of here and send me on my way.”
“You would not live,” Jax told him. “You cannot leave here.”
Jax left the room, making sure it was locked behind him. The alpha would not let the stray go, and if he let the stray go, terrible things would happen. He knew this. Alpha made sure he knew this.
Shaking his head, he left to go work with the new arrivals. He had to train them, and that would take up most of his day. Many of them wouldn’t live, but the alpha didn’t care. He needed them to kill as much as possible before dying, that was all. But killing was all most of them wanted to do, anyway, so it was not such a bad thing to die doing what they liked, he supposed.
Dismissing the thought, he left the barracks to go work.
32. Mate
AUGUST HAD been sensing his mate’s distress all day without being able to go to her. She was upset, and that was never good. He had been gone for three days, and with her filled with his cub, he worried she had perhaps miscarried again. If the Mistress found out about another lost cub, it wouldn’t end well for either of them.
He found her in the pack room sitting with the cubs. Only one was theirs. The others they had taken from other packs and would eventually become hybrids when they grew to be old enough. So far they had ten cubs, three of whom were almost to the age of first shift. Some of them would go to the feeding room. The others would become heavies.
He smiled down at his mate, Valerie, as she read a story to Colin on the ground at her side. His fur was a rich chocolate brown and his eyes as yellow as the morning dawn. He opened his mouth in a grin at the sight of August, and August smiled back and took a seat with him.
Valerie smiled at him, and August reached down and stroked Colin’s cheek. “Are you enjoying Mother’s stories?”
Colin grinned again and thumped his tail on the ground.
“Yes, she tells them the very best way, I think,” August said and ran his hand through his cub’s fur. There was something wrong with Colin since the beginning. He was alpha, which was the only reason the Mistress spared him, but after being born, cubs shifted to true form within a matter of hours. Colin didn’t. Since the day of his birth, he had been as beast, beast being his true form. The Mistress was furious about it, but August managed to fight and save him. But ever since, Valerie wasn’t able to hold a cub to term.
August saw the look in her eyes and the paleness of her cheeks and knew, without a doubt, she had lost another one. She forced a smile at Colin and finished the story before sending him off to play with the other cubs.
“Are you okay?” August asked.
Valerie shook her head. “No.”
August winced and moved to sit closer to her. She laid her head on his shoulder, and he stroked her hair and face, soothing her through the weave. She needed the comfort, but there was nothing he could say. They both knew what might happen now. The Mistress had made her threats before, but this time…. This time he was worried she really meant them.
“I’ll fix this,” August whispered.
“You can’t fix this. No one can. I’m broken, and she’ll demand you find a new mate. I’ll end up… I don’t know. But she won’t have me around you anymore.”
August swallowed hard. “You’re alpha—”
“It doesn’t mean much if I’m a broken female. Not to her,” Valerie whispered.
He shook his head. “I’ll fix it. I can. I will.”
She looked him over and forced a smile. “I know you’ll try.”
August kissed her cheek and held her to his chest. For a long moment, he held her there, trapped between wanting to feel more and knowing that was the most dangerous thing he could ever do. He loved her, but feeling too much was a sure way to draw the Mistress’s attention in a very bad way.
“Changes are coming. They’ll be here soon.”
Valerie nodded and pulled away from him. “I should get everything ready.”
He wanted to tell her to rest, to stay with the cubs, but couldn’t. He wanted to urge her to cuddle and grieve like anyone would, but couldn’t do that either. So he said nothing and watched as she got up and left the room without another word.
He closed his eyes and scrubbed his h
ands over his scarred face. Once upon a time, he had dreamed of a pack of his own, a life of his own. But he would never have the latter, and the former…. The pack he had was only a group of people he could barely sense and tried not to care about. They were pawns, a means to an end.
He shoved the dark thoughts aside and called to his cub. Colin rushed to him, and August picked him up and nuzzled him tight. “Come on, young one. It’s time for bed.”
Colin made a face but didn’t protest much as August carried him off into the bedroom. The massive bed was more traditional than practical. The only ones he took to his pack bed were Colin and Valerie. They were the only ones allowed in his room.
He tucked Colin into bed and ran his hands through his fur before finding the brush. He stared off into space as he groomed his cub and tried not to think too hard about the Mistress and what would happen to Valerie now. Valerie joined him some time later, and he held her tight in his arms. He felt her cry into his shoulder briefly, but she was tired and worn and didn’t have the tears left. It was never easy for her. They did their best with the choices they were given.
When they were young, Valerie whispered stories to him of her pack before the Mistress, before him. She stopped whispering the stories after Colin was born, knowing he would never have that. That none of them would ever have that. She settled beside him anyway. Loved him as much as she dared and helped him whenever she could. He loved her for that and always would.
She fell asleep, and he stroked her cheek, pushing her deeper into sleep’s embrace. She was beautiful, and for a brief moment, he pushed the love, which he never allowed himself to feel, deep into her as she slept. A small sigh escaped her, and tears brimmed in his eyes. He fought against the grief and, with a ragged breath, took her face in his hands and snapped her neck.
It was the best he could do for her. Far better than what the Mistress would do. This way she was free the only way she could be free in the hellish life she had with him.
Kissing her again, he lifted her from the bed and carried her from the bedroom. Without a word he laid her in William’s arms. August stared down at her a long moment. She looked like she was sleeping. He kissed her cheek and returned to bed with his son.
He stared down at Colin a long moment, running his hands through the soft fur as he slept.
“It’ll be better this way. For you too,” August told him and held him close one last time as they slept.
LLOYD TUGGED on his collar and growled at the bolt in the floor. This hybrid learned his lessons too well. He was also the smartest one he had ever encountered. This one could think and reason, which was as frustrating as it was disturbing.
The chain that bound him was short, only long enough to reach the edge of the window and not quite reach the bed. Another annoyance. He couldn’t just wait until the bastard fell asleep and slit his throat. And even if he did, there was still the problem of being chained and locked to the floor, not to mention the countless hybrids and pack who surrounded the place.
His only real hope of getting out of there was Dante, but he had no idea if River or Nicky were able to tell Dante where they were. He wasn’t quite sure how that pack stuff worked, and he never really had much interest in it until now. Being captured and potentially tortured by creatures just as vicious as Caster was starting to change his mind.
He stared out the window, trying to see the layout of the compound. The barracks seemed to be located behind the pack house. Off to the right in the woods sat another series of small buildings he could barely make out. He was pretty sure River had been in one of them. He doubted she was still there, though; the buildings weren’t guarded anymore.
Having nothing else to really do, he started counting passing hybrids. He lost count at about fifty. Fifty hybrids, a full pack, and Creation only knew what else. That didn’t even count the massive numbers who were running around the country, ripping through cities and killing anything that got in their way. He could smell strays but couldn’t see any. Nephilim were mentioned from time to time in the smattering of conversation past his window, but his senses weren’t good enough to pick up any scent of them.
The atmosphere was changing. Growing more excited. He squinted into the distance, trying to make out what was happening, but his angle was bad. More people seemed to be coming and going, but whatever it was seemed to be happening on the other side of the building.
He closed his eyes to concentrate, trying to hear snippets of conversations in the distance. Lots of vehicles, lots of voices and indistinct shouts. Were they moving? Was Dante coming?
It was almost dark before he caught sight of Jax making his way to the barracks. He looked tired as he passed through the yard, and he couldn’t help but notice how Charleston was watching him.
A few minutes later, the door opened, and Jax appeared with two trays of food. He let Lloyd go to the bathroom before locking him back up and handing him a tray of food. Jax was very quiet as he sat down on the edge of his makeshift bed to eat.
“Long day?” Lloyd asked.
Jax frowned and looked up at the digital clock on the far side of the bed. “Five hours thirty-six minutes is not beyond an average day of training.”
Lloyd smiled and shook his head. “You’re a strange one,” he said and ate some of his food. “So… do you mind if I ask a few questions?”
“Ask,” Jax said and shoveled food into his face.
Watching him eat was almost painful. He stabbed at the large chunks of his stew with one of his claws and slurped up the broth. He had to hold the bowl mostly in his palms.
“Do you remember… do you remember what they did to you to make you like you are?” Lloyd asked.
Jax frowned at him. “I have always been as I am.”
Lloyd shook his head. “No. No, you weren’t. They made you like this. Don’t you remember?”
Jax thought a long moment and shook his head. “No. I have always been. Like you have always been.”
Lloyd dunked a piece of bread into his stew. “So… you remember being a, uh, cub, then?”
Jax frowned. “Pack have cubs. I am not pack.”
“You weren’t a cub, then? What were you before you got older and came here? Did you have a family? A pack? Friends?”
Jax thought a moment and got to his feet with a snarl. “I have always been!”
Lloyd held up a hand. “Sorry. You said I could ask.”
Jax glared at him a long moment, and Lloyd carefully dropped back into a more submissive posture.
The hybrid paced, and Lloyd reined in his fear as Jax grunted and moved closer. Lloyd sat very still. This up close and personal with a hybrid was dangerous. As beast he might have had a better chance, but not in true form.
“What to do with you, my pretty thing?” Jax said.
“I’m not a thing. I’m Lloyd,” he said softly. “A person like you. No one should be a slave to another person. Not you, not me, no one.”
“Lloyd,” Jax said. He lengthened the y to a long hard e as he spoke. “Sleep. I think what to do with you later.”
Lloyd moved back farther into the corner of the room to the pillow and lay down. Jax stripped off his clothes and threw himself on his bed, just out of reach.
Lloyd wasn’t sure how much sleep he’d be able to get, but he had a feeling he might need all the rest he could get very soon.
33. Letting Go
DANTE SAT in the sun, trying to get it to warm his soul, but it wasn’t doing a very good job. The heat baked at his bare skin but didn’t penetrate. River. He was going to lose her. He could feel it. No matter what he tried, she was being pulled away from him. He didn’t want to let her go, but continuing to fight was going to drain him dry. Eveline was being ruthless with her attack, and even River knew he couldn’t hold up for much longer.
Jesse slipped through the woods and sat down on the log beside him. For a long moment, they sat staring into the woods before Jesse reached out and took his hand. “You need to let go of River. You need t
o let go and come to bed with me, grieve her loss, and maybe, just maybe, we can get her back.”
Dante winced and nodded. “I know I should. I don’t know if I can.”
“You have to.” Jesse got up and moved to kneel in front of him. Hazel eyes framed by dark lashes stared up at him. “River’s been without you before. She’ll be okay. She’s smart; you’ve trained her well. She’s not a cub anymore. She’ll understand.”
Jesse slid into his arms, and Dante took a ragged breath. He rested his head on Jesse’s shoulder and touched the weave. The thread that belonged to River was weak and vibrating violently. His head throbbed with the effort to keep River with him.
“Dante,” Jesse whispered. “Let her go.”
Guilt twisted in his chest, and he released his hold on River. He felt her pull away of her own will, and then she was gone, her constant presence in the pack nothing more than a memory.
Dante glared into the woods. “I’m going to kill that fucking darkling bitch,” he said. His stomach ached with loss, and pain flashed between his temples. “I’m tired of losing people, Jesse.”
“I know,” Jesse whispered. “But this is war. People die in war no matter what you do. We’re lucky to know that River is still alive and they didn’t want her dead, so we can find her. As long as she breathes, there’s time to bring her home.”
He laced his fingers in Jesse’s and held his hand tight. “I’m going to leave, and you’re going to stay here. Where it’s safe. Please don’t argue with me this time, okay?”
“I’m not stupid. I’m no heavy. I know that,” Jesse said softly and squeezed Dante’s hand. “No matter what, you need to keep breathing. Do you hear me? Listen to Trevor. He’ll keep you safe.”
Dante pulled him close and kissed him gently.
“I love you,” Jesse whispered.
“I love you too,” Dante said and held him tight. The warmth of Jesse’s skin, his rich scent, and sound of his breath made him ache.
They kissed again, slow and gentle. He needed to feel that connection to him to help wash away the grief. He tried not to second-guess his decision to let go of River, and Jesse’s sense pushed it back. Pushed it farther and farther away until all he could think about was the man in front of him. Jesse had gotten very good at that. Strong hands pulled them together, and their lips grew hungry and bruised with growing passion. The bond between them exploded to life, filling him with that passionate glow that only belonged to Jesse.
Cutting Ties Page 24
