by Jen Ponce
My silence must have alerted him that something was wrong. "Devany? Are you listening?"
No, I wanted to say. Don't wanna, can't make me. "Yes."
"Do you understand what I'm saying? How much you mean to me?"
Not buying it with a million dollars, buster. "I understand that you believe what you're saying." I almost giggled. I sounded like a twelve-dollar therapist. "Listen, I know the accident shook you up. I'm so glad you're okay." I took a deep breath, my stomach clenching even though what I was about to say was right, was true to my heart. "But this doesn't change anything for me. You broke my heart, Tom. I doubt there's glue anywhere in the world that could mend it."
Tom touched my arm, a gentle tease of fingertips. "Please. Give me another chance. I'll never betray you again. I promise."
I pressed my fingertips into the bridge of my nose. "I can't. I can't trust you. You don't realize the depth of pain you caused, how violated I feel, knowing you slept with a stranger and then slept with me. You didn't take my health into consideration. My feelings. Our marriage vows."
"I never slept with her.”
"Really Tom? You've been going off on weekends with a twenty-two year old. You lied to me about it and now you want me to believe you never fucked her?” I stood, unable to stay near him a moment longer. "Tomorrow you move to the spare bedroom. I'll stay there tonight, but you're taking it tomorrow."
I took my pillow and left, walking softly down the hall so I wouldn't wake the kids. My cheeks were wet with the hot tears I'd been shedding without realizing. God I was tired of crying. I slipped between the sheets of the guestroom bed, tucking my pillow between my ear and my arm. I stared at the unfamiliar shadows in the room and wished away months of my life, wished away enough of them that I would be far down the road from this horrible, hurtful mess.
It isn't right to wish away your life.
Her quiet words stopped my pity party in its tracks. She would know, wouldn't she? She'd lost hers in a blinding flash. I rolled onto my back. "How do I use them?" I had to do something to keep my mind off my sorry home situation. Fixing the security problems would help.
We need to attach different spells to each. A few we can set with protection and cloaking. At least one to trip an alarm when any magic workers are near. They won't have their power on this side, but they could use simple location spells. If they were quick, they'd be able to find you before the magic bled out. With the cloaking spells, they shouldn't be able to find us in the time they'll have, but the alarm will sound any way, letting us know someone is trying to find you.
"Can we attach protection spells to a few for Liam and Bethy to carry?"
Yes. And your husband?
I pursed my lips. "Can we attach a spell for protection and a chronic limp dick?"
She didn't want to laugh but she did anyway. She also didn't answer me, but I'd push the issue later. He deserved it, I'm sure. "Let's get this done, then. I won't be able to sleep for a while."
Downstairs, I grabbed a container of salt, a glass, the half bottle of wine from Tom's and my last date night, a couple of candles, matches. I had to make a few trips, because I was starving again and had to lug up enough food for four. When I had my supplies strewn across the bed and after I'd eaten half the food, I poured the salt around me in a large circle as Arsinua instructed.
"Why am I doing this? Isn't this a little clichéd? Besides, you said there isn't any magic here."
There isn't any innate magic here, but there are beings that can tell when you perform magic, even here. This will keep all but the strongest away, and hopefully the strongest won't be interested in what we do tonight.
I set out the glass, the wine, and the candles. Lit the candles and set them in votive holders to keep from catching the carpet on fire.
What's the wine for?
"My mental health," I said, pouring myself a glass. "Aren't you supposed to drink something when you're performing a ritual?"
I don't. It blurs the mind. You should wait. At least until after we've charged the stones.
"Fine." I set the wine on the night table, gathered the rocks and laid them in a pile in front of me. "Tell me what I need to do."
First, you need to picture a globe around you. Hold a lodestone in each hand; it will help focus your energy.
I picked up two, feeling silly. "Why don't you do this? You know how. You're the ... witch."
You need to know. In the Slip, or if I'm not around.
"Where would you go?"
Arsinua was silent. Her pain curled around my own, deepening the hurt, similar and yet so different. Someday I hope you will be able to release me. To send my soul to join my body.
"To die. That's what you mean."
Yes.
I sighed. Unshed tears pressed against my lids. I pushed the need to cry away, pictured a globe around me. I made it purple, thick like old glass. There was a zap of energy, and my spine straightened. "Holy shit. I did that?" The air around me crackled with energy, sparks sizzling across the surface of the dome and sliding right through the floor.
You're using the heart.
"I'm not. At least, I'm not trying to. Can't you stop me?"
I—I don't think so. It's too powerful.
Power surged within me as if I'd plugged myself into a socket—only without the pain, thank goodness. I held up the lodestone and pictured Bethany, pictured a globe of safety around her. It formed and the spell attached itself to the stone. As if I'd been working magic my entire life, I completed that work and set the rock aside. I felt Arsinua's worry that I was tapping the heart but I pushed aside those thoughts. I had to concentrate or I might attach the spell wrong and fuck things up.
I picked up one for Liam and did the same visualization for him. When the spell set, I placed it beside Bethy's. Before I'd started, I worried that I wouldn't tell which would go where and had planned to mark them with a Sharpie, but I didn't have any difficulty telling the lodestones apart. They felt different.
I then picked up a group of five and pictured a dome of safety and concealment around the entire house. The magic tugged at the heart deep inside me, as if this required a heavier load of energy. I took a deep breath and relaxed my muscles. Energy surged through me and blasted into the stones. The dome appeared in my head, solid, beautiful, a deep brown that bent light around it.
I set those aside and picked up another. This one for Tom. God, it would be hard. I used my love to make protection for the kids, but my love for Tom was now colored by my anger at him. Wouldn't that make any protection spell flawed? I struggled, then pictured the day I married him, the love I had for him then. For that I protected him, and for Liam and Bethany. I set the spell and put the stone aside, feeling proud that I hadn't given in to temptation and added something bad. There were about ten stones left. I picked up two more. "How do I do this magic tripwire thing?" At first, I couldn't even hear Arsinua over the roar of energy inside me. I focused on shutting the door I'd opened. When the roar dulled to a hiss, I finally heard her. Screaming.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Zech! They have Zech. He's hurt. He's in so much pain.
She was sobbing so hard I couldn't understand her next words. "Wait? How do you know? Arsinua? Answer me, please."
Yarnell. Adamante. They took him last night, after the ceremony. Oh no. Oh no.
Her keening made me cringe. I let out a breath and opened up the heart again, picturing Zech, picturing his smile, his dimples as he poured my sugar at the fair. For a moment, the air shimmered as a door formed. Arsinua screamed again.
No! Devany, don't!
Too late.
SIXTEEN
The room reeked of blood and pain. Zech hung in the middle of a room straight out of a medieval castle. A dungeon room, in other words. The modern twist was the drain and the metal grate covering it. For the blood, I realized, feeling sick. I stumbled back against the wall, turning my head away.
"Well, well, well."
I snap
ped my attention to the man who'd spoken. A tall, rather fat man with a length of blonde hair pulled back in a low ponytail. "‘Well, well, well’? Seriously, that’s the best you’ve got? Have you been training at the idiot's school of bad guy talk?"
He's dangerous.
"Who the fuck isn't, anymore?"
The blonde man's sinister smirk faded somewhat. Maybe he wasn't amused at my witty repartee. Maybe he thought I was a nut job and I made him nervous. "You should be nervous."
He'd recovered from my sudden appearance, straightening from his slouch and shaking out a leather whip with more appendages than an octopus. Cat o' nine tails. Holy damn. I'd only seen those in pirate movies. "Why, in the name of Slip, would I be nervous around you? Filth."
I smiled, my teeth bared. "Filth. I'm not the one beating a person to death."
His face twitched. "How did you get here?" His hand moved.
I threw up my hands. "Stop!" A thunderous burst of energy burned from my fingertips and knocked him backward five feet. Holy crap. I didn't know I could do that. 'Did you do that? Arsinua? Hello?'
He's bleeding to death.
'You won't help him by moaning over him now. We have to get him out of here. Neutria?'
The spider assassin awakened inside of me. Awaken wasn't the right word. She'd been observing, but silent.
'Neutria, you ready to back me up if I need it?'
Can I kill him?
I kept watch as he moaned himself awake, his attention fluttering back to me. 'If I say no, will you help?'
No.
Damn it. 'Fine. If I need you and if you can, then ... do it.' I hated saying it and decided that I would make sure I didn't need her help.
She heard my thoughts and her laughter made me shiver.
The man pushed himself up, terror reeking from his skin. It smelled like smelly feet and crotch sweat. "Who are you?"
"The ant at your picnic, fuck nut." I had a tendency to curse when I was feeling angry or keyed up. Okay, I had a tendency to curse most of the time, but managed to keep it contained except in extraordinary situations.
His lips moved.
He's preparing another spell.
Preparing? I lifted my hands and yelled “stop!” again. The blast knocked him back a step but he'd been ready for it this time. His hair blew back as if a gust of wind hit him, and then he loosed the energy he'd gathered.
I dropped and rolled, feeling my skin sizzle as it rushed by. The smell of burnt hair wafted to me, wrinkling my nose. I came up behind Zech, sick at the sight of the flayed flesh on his back. I concentrated on the heart. This time I knew how to open up the rush of energy. I didn't try any spells because I didn't know any. I stepped away from Zech and triggered the heart. A deadly spiral of magic exploded outward.
A white light flashed bright and hot in the dark room. I fell back on my ass, crying out when my hip cracked against the side of a wooden table on the way down. The rush of energy stopped.
There was a hole in the wall where the man had been. "Holy shit. Is he dead?" I struggled to my feet, my muscles shaking.
I don't know. I don't know what you did to him.
Neutria's annoyance flooded in my head. 'Sorry,' I said, grunting as I tried to lift Zech's manacled hands off the hook that held him suspended. 'Help,' I said to Neutria and she did, lending me some of her strength to get the sugar seller's body down.
Arsinua was keening inside me. Not much help, in other words. My arms, nightgown, legs were splattered with his blood. Cupping his cheek with my palm, I leaned down. "Zech? Zech, can you hear me?"
He moaned. Good enough for now. He wasn't dead, but he sure looked like he might end up there if I didn't do something. What? What could I do? What? Tytan.
No. Not him. What would he know about healing, anyway? Demons destroyed, they didn't create, right? Still, what else could I do? As I sat there, my eyelids started to droop. What the hell, anyway?
You used your own life force to open up the heart.
"Which means what?" I yawned, my muscles limp and about as useful as wool in a rainstorm. I slid down to the floor beside Zech. "Shit."
If he comes back, if the others come ...
"Neutria. Can help. Me." I was going to fall asleep in the damned worst place ever and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
Used too much energy, foolish human. I can't change now.
"Use. The heart. Energy there." My two inner companions conferred with each other but I was too tired to make sense of what they were saying. My thoughts fuzzed together and then I was asleep.
When I woke, pallid leaves moved in a nonexistent breeze. The smell of death and decay filled my nostrils. I rolled over to see Zech lying next to me, a white, leech-like creature bending over him. Licking him.
You're back.
'Where the hell am I, Arsinua?'
Brought you home. Fleshcrawler queen offered help.
Neutria's home. Lovely. 'What's she doing to Zech?'
Arsinua's worry crawled over my brain like an annoying fly. She says she's healing him. He's breathing better.
Her dubious tone made me wonder how a vampire/leech thing could heal by licking. Ew. I tried and failed to push myself up onto my elbows and the fleshcrawler looked up, its—her slitted eyes staring. "Hello again."
She hissed at me. I wasn't sure that was good or not and wished Nex were here. If I concentrated, could I bring him over? I closed my eyes to try but Arsinua snapped at me.
You almost killed yourself. You aren't ready for any more magic working.
"Yes Mom," I muttered, and earned another hiss from the fleshcrawler. We waited, watching as the vampire-leech woman laved Zech's wounds. It took forever. What was happening back home? Would the kids or Tom wander into the spare bedroom, find the salt circle, the food, and wonder what had happened to me? 'I have to get home. What time is it there, Arsinua?'
A moment. She was still then she said, An hour until dawn. You have time.
'What are we going to do with Zech?' What would Tom think if I brought a mortally wounded man home? Although, the longer the fleshcrawler worked on him, the better he looked. Wounds that had been oozing blood seared shut at her touch, leaving puckered scars in their places.
At last she slid away from Zech, licking her lips. "He will live." The alien hiss in her voice drilled into me. "This will cancel my debt to you."
I nodded. "Thank you. For saving him."
Her smile was a nightmare. "Not him. You." She slithered closer, reaching for me.
"No, no. I'm fine. Just tired." I couldn't move away from her, her influence and my weak muscles holding me in place.
Her rubbery, clammy skin touched mine and I shivered. Her teeth glinted in the gloom.
"No. Please, I don't want you to help me."
"You too, will die without my help." She lowered her mouth to my wrist. I tried yanking my hand away. Yeah. That didn't work.
Shit. Shit. Shit! 'Arsinua! Help.'
A shimmer of power flared then faded. Teeth sunk into my flesh and I cried out. She sucked at me, taking the blood from me, draining me. "No." The word puffed out, light as air. I didn't even hear it myself.
She's killing you. I can't raise the power. Neutria!
Can't. No strength.
I sighed, the breath leaving me. I didn't have the energy to suck it back in. She would kill me and I could do nothing about it. Her teeth slipped free from my flesh. My body sunk down into the ground, my life leaking away. Nex, your wife screwed me.
Then there was cool flesh at my lips, and a glacial liquid slipping between them. It tasted of honey, of sugar, of a deeper, slippery taste I couldn't pinpoint. I slurped at her, and with each swallow life came back into my bones, into my flesh. I felt again like I had in my room, tapping that limitless energy. And maybe it was without limit, if I could figure out how to use it without using myself up.
I figured out too late what I was doing to get this energy. Now I remembered what Tytan had told me. "You don't want to g
et bit, it'll drive you mad."
I pushed her arm away but somehow I was still drinking. How?
She's glamouring you. Keeping you still. You have to stop. You take too much and ...
'And what?'
And I don't know what.
Great. The queen took her arm away. Energy rushed through me as if I were mainlining caffeine or something even more potent. I jumped up, buzzing. "What did you do? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I mean, thank you, but I don't want to be one of you. And you bit me. Oh shit."
She laughed—again, not a pretty sound. "I didn't inject you with the poison."
"Oh." Violence shivered inside me. I picked up a cream-colored branch about as thick as my wrist and broke it in half. Easily. "Cool."
"I gave you energy. Life force."
I broke the half branch, crumbling the bark in my hands. "This is amazing."
"A gift. Repayment for saving my husband."
I nodded. "I like your husband."
Some emotion flitted across her face. Looked like disbelief, but I wouldn't swear to it. "I love my husband."
I used to love mine. Shit. "So you gave me life force. You didn't turn me into a vampire or anything. Right?"
"Energy. Life force. Perhaps other things. I don't know." She wiped a drop of blood from her lip.
"I appreciate your help." I moved to Zech.
"He owes me."
Uh oh. "What?"
She smiled. "Blood. A sacrifice. In return for my help."
Zech will not like this.
'At least he'll be alive to not like it.' To the fleshcrawler queen I said, "Deal. Can I take him now?"
She nodded, looking every inch the queen she was. I slipped past her and gathered up Zech in my arms as if he weighed as much as a child. I was strong and it felt great.
'You want to do the hook, Arsinua? Maybe I shouldn't yet, until I figure out how to do it without killing me.'
I cannot open hooks the way you do.
I bit my lip then pictured the hook. A tug at my middle and then the doorway shimmered. I stepped through with Zech, my mind focused on my spare bedroom. I didn't make it. Instead of a purple and tan bedspread and lavender walls, Tytan's living room roiled around me. Hell. I was in the Slip.
