by Fuyumi Ono
She recalled reading in her history class that you could kill only so many people with a Japanese sword before the blood and gore dulled its effectiveness. She was sure that the sword must have been damaged during the melee, and carefully buffed the metal until there was not a shadow left on the steel.
"Strange … . "
Strange that only she could draw the sword. When she had first taken hold of it, it had seemed heavy in her hands. But now, free of the scabbard, it was as light as a feather.
Having restored the glitter to the razor-sharp edge, Youko wrapped the sword in her jacket. She took a minute to organize her thoughts.
She had left the scabbard behind. Perhaps she should go back and get it.
Never separate the sword from the scabbard. So she was told, but was that because the scabbard itself had any special value? Or was it because of the jewel attached to it?
The T-shirt she wore under her uniform jacket was soaked with sweat. It was getting cold but she couldn't stomach putting on that bloody jacket. Now that she had the time to sit and think about it, her body really hurt. Her arms and legs were covered with wounds.
There were teeth marks through the sleeves of her t-shirt. Blood welled up under the T-shirt spotting the white cloth.
Her skirt was torn, her legs etched with countless lacerations. Most were still oozing blood, but compared to the kind of damage those fangs could do--that took that man's head off just like that--these were pretty minor cuts and bruises.
Again, strange. There was no way she should have come out of it like this. Though now that she thought about it, when they were in the vice-principal's office and the window shattered, everybody around her was hurt while nothing happened to her. And when she had fallen from Hyouki's back onto the beach she'd suffered little more than a few bumps and bruises.
It was all so weird, though considering that even her physical appearance had changed, it wasn't any more weird than anything else that happened to her.
Whatever, she sighed. She took a few more deep breaths. She noticed that her left hand was still clenched into a fist. She uncurled her stiff fingers. The blue-green jewel tumbled out. Closing her hand around it again it was clear that the jewel was alleviating the pain.
She held the jewel tightly and dozed off for a while. When she awoke, all her wounds had clotted and closed.
"This is so weird … . "
The gnawing pain, once enough to bring tears to her eyes, was gone. She felt only a light fatigue. She was definitely not going to lose the jewel, the one thing in her life she was definitely thankful for. That must have been why they had told her it was so important to not lose the scabbard.
She removed the kerchief from the collar of her seifuku jacket and with the sword cut from it a thin strip of cloth. Tightly twisting it she threaded the strip of cloth through the holes in the jewel and hung it around her neck.
"Jouyuu," she said, directing her attention inwardly. There was no reply.
"I have a question. Say something."
He did not answer.
"What am I supposed to do now? I mean, where should I go?"
No voice answered her. She knew he was there. She concentrated her thoughts, focused her attention, but she felt no evidence of his presence. She heard something like the faint rustle of leaves, but all she felt was silence.
"Hey, a right or a left would be fine by me!"
Youko continued on in her monologue. "Look, I don't know the first thing about this place, okay? I'm just asking for a little advice, that's all. If I go someplace where there's a lot of people I'll probably get arrested again, right? And if I get arrested, I'm as good as dead. So I keep on running and make sure I don't meet anybody, then what? Should I be looking for some magical door that'll take me back to my own home? Not likely, huh?"
Forget about what she must do, she didn't even have a good idea of what to do next. She wasn't helping herself at all just sitting here, but it wasn't like she had anyplace to go, either.
The dusk was falling fast in the forest. She didn't have any kind of light, nothing that could be called a bed. Nothing to eat, nothing to drink. It was too dangerous to go near cities or towns, and wandering around in the wilderness wasn't exactly safe, either.
"All I want to know is what to do next! At the very least could you give me a hint or two?"
As expected, there was no reply.
"What the hell is going on? What happened to Keiki and everybody? That was him back there, wasn't it? What'd he just disappear for? Why didn't he help me? Why?"
Only the rustling of leaves answered her.
"I'm begging you. Can't you say anything?"
The tears welled up. "I want to go home … . "
She couldn't say she loved the life she had been living. But now that she was separated from that life, she missed it so badly it hurt. She'd do anything to be back home again. If she could go home she'd never leave again.
"I wanna go home."
As she sobbed like a child, a thought occurred to her. She'd escaped. She'd escaped from getting shipped off to the governor, from getting eaten by those dogs. She'd come this far and she'd survived. She hugged her knees to her chest.
But was she really any better off?
If it hurts so bad … .
She shook her head, pushed away the thoughts welling up in her mind. It was too scary to think things like that, thoughts more persuasive than any words. She hugged her knees more tightly.
That was when, out of the blue, she heard the voice. A strange, high-pitched voice, laughing like an old man, laughing at the thoughts she was trying so hard to resist.
"If it hurts so bad, why, it could all be over in an instant."
Youko scanned her surroundings. Her right hand was at once on the hilt of the sword. The forest was black with the night. There was only enough light to make out the height of the undergrowth and trees.
From the midst of the night came a dim glow, maybe two meters from where Youko was sitting, a thin, blue phosphorescence radiating through the undergrowth.
Gazing at the light Youko gasped, caught her breath. It was a monkey, its fur shining like foxfire. Only its head appeared, parting the tall weeds. He looked at Youko and bared his teeth and laughed, a screeching laugh that grated at her ears.
"If they had eaten you up, it would have all been over before you knew it!"
Youko drew the sword out from her jacket. "What … are you?"
The monkey laughed its screechy laugh again. "I am what I am. Silly little girl, running away, are we? If they'd gobbled you down like that, well, there'd be no more of these unpleasant thoughts."
Youko raised the sword. "Who are you?"
"But I told you, did I not? I am who I am. Your ally. I thought to tell you some nice things for a change."
"Nice things … ?"
She didn't buy a word he was saying. Jouyuu exhibited no tension or concern, so she did not think he was an enemy. But his strange appearance convinced her that he couldn't possibly be a normal living thing.
"There is no going home for you, little girl."
Youko glared at him hard. "Shut up," she spat back.
"Oh, no, you can't go home. Absolutely, positively not. Because there's absolutely, positively no way for you to do so, now, is there? Shall I tell you something nice?
"I don't want to hear it."
"Oh, I shall tell you anyway. You, little girl, you have been royally taken in." The monkey let loose a shriek of laughter.
"T-taken in?" It felt like getting doused with cold water.
"You're such a silly girl, now, aren't you? It was a trap right from the start, don't you know."
Her breath stopped in her throat. A trap. Whose trap? Keiki's? Keiki's trap? The hand holding the sword began to shake, but she could not find the words to deny what the monkey was saying.
"You knew it all along, didn't you? He brought you here, and there is no going back there. That's the trap, don't you see?"
The
monkey's piercing laugh stabbed at her ears.
"Stop it!"
She swung the sword blindly. The tips of the grass danced with a dull, dry whish. For all her reckless effort, the flailing tip of the sword failed to reach the monkey.
"Now, now, not listening to the truth won't change things a bit. You go waving that thing like that, well, you're going to hurt yourself."
"Stop it!"
"And what a fine piece of work it is, indeed. Why not put it to even better use? Off with her head! A do-it-yourself job!" The monkey threw his head back towards the heavens and shrieked hysterically.
"Shut up!"
She lunged, but the monkey was no longer there just beyond the tip of the sword. He was a little further off, still only his disembodied head visible.
"Now, now, do you really want to kill me? After all, if I wasn't here you wouldn't have anyone at all to talk to."
The raw truth of the statement struck like a blow.
"Have I done you wrong? Have I not most politely deigned to converse with you?"
Youko held her temper, squeezed her eyes shut.
"Oh, yes, poor, poor pitiful you, being hauled off to such a place as this."
"What should I do … ?"
"I can't see as there's anything you can do."
"I don't want to die." The mere thought was still too dreadful to contemplate.
"Do whatever strikes your fancy, then. I don't wish you to die either, little girl."
"Where should I go?"
"Does it really matter? It really can't, not when you're being chased by both people and youma."
Youko buried her face in her hands. The tears welled up.
"That's right, little girl. Cry while you can. Before you know it there won't be any tears left."
The monkey laughed his high, chirpy laugh. The sound of his laughter was farther away. Youko lifted her head. "Wait!"
She didn't want it to leave her. He might be a complete unknown, but it was better having someone, anyone to talk to than being lost and alone in this place.
By the time she had raised her head to look he was gone. She heard only the screeches of laughter fading into the distance, echoing in the pitch black darkness.
2-8
If it hurts so much, it could be over in an instant.
The monkey's words rested heavy on her heart. She could not dismiss them from her mind. Neither could she tear her eyes away from the sword resting on her knees. It lay there, cold and hard, glimmering in the barely perceptible light.
If it hurts … .
She could take the thoughts no further. She shook her head, cast them aside. She couldn't go back. She couldn't go forward. She just sat there and stared at the sword.
After a while the blade began to throw off a faint but discernable glow. Youko opened her eyes wider. Slowly, the white outline of the sword emerged in the dark. Youko picked it up and held it out in front of her. The sword cast a brilliant glitter into the night. The flat of the double-edged blade was as wide as her fingers. She concentrated her attention on the curious colors dancing up and down its length.
She gathered that it was an image of some sort being projected by the sword itself. At first, she thought it was herself, but realized that it was not. When she looked closer at the blade she saw it was the silhouette of a person, of somebody working.
She heard a familiar sound. The high, clear sound of water, of a drop striking the surface of calm pool. As she concentrated, the projection from the sword came clearer. The notes sounded and the image drew into focus, like the ripples drawn across the mirrored surface of a pond gently subsiding.
It was a woman, a woman busying about in a room.
Youko grasped what she was looking at. Her eyes brimmed with tears.
"Mom … . "
It was true. The person she was seeing was her mother, and the room she was seeing was her own room. The wallpaper with the ivory pattern on a white background, the curtains arrayed with a design of small flowers. The patchwork comforter on her bed. The stuffed dolls on the bookshelf. On her desk, The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Her mother walked aimlessly around her room, touching things here and there. She went to pick up a book, flip through the pages, went to open a drawer, maybe to look inside, but then sat down on the bed and sighed.
Mom … .
Her mother looked tired. The gaunt expression on her face made Youko's chest hurt. Her mother really was worried about her. Two days had passed since Youko had left. Not once had she even been late for dinner without informing them of her whereabouts beforehand.
One by one her mother picked up the stuffed dolls arranged along the edge of the bed and gently petted them. Then she lay back against the headboard, clasping the doll, and burst into muffled sobs.
Youko couldn't help herself. "Mom!" she called out, as if she were there in the room with her.
As soon as she spoke the scene ended. She suddenly came back to herself. Her eyes refocused. All she saw was the sword. The glittering light was gone, she could see nothing in the blade. The sound of falling water ceased.
"What was that?"
What in the world had she been looking at, she wondered. It looked so real. She again held out the sword in front of her. No matter how much she concentrated, the images did not reappear. Nor did she hear that sound of water.
The sound of a falling drop of water.
She remembered.
It was the sound she had heard in her dreams. The dreams that had gone on for a month. That same high sound of falling water had accompanied them. Those dreams had become reality. But what about the vision she had just seen? The more she thought about it the less she understood it. She shook her head. No, she had seen her mother because she wanted so badly to go home.
She looked off in the direction the monkey had vanished.
You can't go back. It was a trap.
If that was true, all her hopes were in vain. But it wasn't a trap. Surely, even if Keiki hadn't been able to help her, that didn't mean he had abandoned her.
No … she hadn't clearly seen his face. She could have been mistaken. Maybe it wasn't him at all.
"That must be it."
It looked like Keiki, but it wasn't him. People around here had hair in all kinds of colors. She thought it was Keiki because he had blond hair, but she hadn't clearly seen his face. And now that she thought about it, the figure of the man she had seen was a little bit smaller than Keiki.
"Yes, yes, that's what happened."
It wasn't Keiki after all. Keiki simply wouldn't have deserted her like that. If she could only find Keiki, she was sure she could go home again.
She firmly clenched the hilt of the sword. A series of sensations scurried down her spine.
"Jouyuu?"
Her body roused itself of its own accord. She undid the jacket wound around the sword and cast it aside, prepared herself. "What is it?" she asked, knowing there would be no answer, her eyes scanning the surroundings. Her pulse raced.
From ahead of her came the dry whush of something pushing its way through the underbrush. That something was coming her way. The next thing she heard was a howl, as when a dog marks its territory for all within earshot.
Those dogs.
The same dogs that had attacked earlier?
In any case, she was at a clear disadvantage fighting in this darkness. She cast a glance behind her. She had to find someplace where there was even a little bit more light. She moved with careful steps, relying on Jouyuu's promptings to guide her. She took off at a sprint. At the same time, behind her, that big something broke free of the undergrowth and rushed after her.
Youko ran through the black forest. Her pursuer should have been fast enough to overtake her but was not quick enough or smart enough. As she dashed from tree to tree, she could hear its heavy mass lurching from side to side, and the occasional thud as it collided hard against a trunk of a tree.
She ran towards the light, bounded out of the f
orest.
She found herself on a terrace that jutted out from the deforested side of the mountain, bathed in white moonlight. Below her an unbroken view of a range of gently rolling mountains opened up. Cursing that this was not a level and open field she turned and steeled herself. With a great crash the huge shadow charged into the clearing.
It resembled a big bull with a long shaggy coat that rolled in waves as it breathed. It growled at her like a Doberman.
She felt neither panic nor surprise. Her heart raced, her breath burned in her throat, but any fear she might have towards this strange beast faded away. She focused her attention on Jouyuu's whisperings. Her body filled with the roar of the ocean. Yet she couldn't help thinking, God, I hate getting blood all over me.
She lost track of time. The moon rose high in the sky. The silver sword gleamed in the clean light of the moon.
And then, under the night sky, it was stained black. Three more blows brought the beast to its knees. As she drew close and delivered the coup de grace, she saw the glowing red eyes gathering around her in the surrounding dark.
She walked only where there was light. Countless times she beat back the attacking youma.
These creatures could not abide the daylight. So they came at her over and over again throughout the night. Though it was not one long continuous battle, the jewel could not stave off her growing fatigue. By the time daylight finally broke over the deserted road, she was jabbing the sword into the ground and using it like a cane. Walking hurt like hell.
It grew brighter and the attacks came farther apart. With the first rays of the sun they ceased completely. She wanted to collapse there at the side of the trail, but it'd be dangerous if anybody came across her there. Dragging her aching limbs she crawled in amongst the trees shouldering the road and found a patch of soft ground cover. She clasped the sword to her chest and fell into a deep sleep.
Part III
3-1
Youko awoke towards the evening. She walked about aimlessly during the day, spent the night fighting the youma. She slept amidst the underbrush, ate what edible nuts and berries she could find. Three days went by the same way.
