His stomach rolled over, and his palms grew moist. When it came to reading women, he wasn’t always the brightest bulb in the pack. Erin had brought up the kiss he’d given her the night of the fire, and he’d been sure a reprimand was coming, at least an explanation of why she thought it was a mistake. So he’d beaten her to it, rushing ahead to assure her the kiss had meant nothing when it had shaken his world.
But she hadn’t looked relieved. Instead, he’d seen disappointment in her eyes, noticed how her face had fallen, the almost imperceptible way her shoulders had curled forward. He’d hurt her.
Now he was going to take those words back. Maybe. What if he’d read her wrong? What if he’d seen relief instead of disappointment? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been clueless about a woman’s thoughts and feelings.
Erin cast him a sideways glance. “Are you in a hurry to get home?”
“No. Why?”
She shrugged. “I was thinking about watching the sunset.”
“Sure.”
A lot of eagerness came through in his tone. He didn’t care. All evening he’d tried to read her mannerisms, to search out meaning behind her words, anything that might hint at where he stood with her. She’d given him nothing. How had he expected anything else? He’d kissed her, then told her it meant nothing.
But now she wanted to spend more time with him doing something nostalgic. How many times had they enjoyed the sunset from one of the park benches overlooking the water while Pops fished nearby? It had to be a good sign, right?
When they took a seat a few minutes later, Alcee plopped down at their feet. The first streaks of orange already stained the western sky, the bridge in the foreground. As the sun sank lower, Cody lifted his arm to let it rest on the back of the bench.
Erin didn’t lean into him, but she didn’t stiffen or pull away, either. Another good sign. Or maybe he was grasping at straws.
She released a soft sigh. “I love the sunsets here.”
“Me, too.”
There was something special about watching the sun set over water. But what had always made the Laishley Park sunsets special was sharing them with Erin.
He bent his arm to encircle her shoulders. Now she did lean into him, and he gave her a squeeze.
Okay. This was it. He was going to do it.
The colors deepened, and the sun disappeared into the horizon. Behind them, palm fronds rustled in the gentle breeze, and distant voices drifted to them. Dusk settled in.
Cody rose and held out a hand. “Let’s walk.”
She grinned up at him. “The two-mile hike we took earlier wasn’t enough for you?”
Yeah, they’d covered a good percentage of the two-and-a-half-mile Harborwalk, heading toward the Village Fish Market on its southwest end, then stopping by Hurricane Charley’s on their way back.
“We’ve got one quick visit to make.”
She put her hand in his, and he helped her to her feet, ignoring the raised eyebrow and head tilt. When he intertwined his fingers with hers, she didn’t seem to mind.
They continued hand in hand, past streetlamps and another bench before the sidewalk veered right. Soon they stood in front of the Hurricane Charley memorial with its sundial and two palm trees.
“This is where we’re going?” She looked up at him. There was a lot of curiosity in her gaze. But something else, too. Anticipation? Excitement?
“Have you ever checked the palm fronds?”
“Should I have?”
“Maybe.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?”
“Something I should have done eight years ago.” If he’d held out for Erin, he could have saved himself some grief.
“If you had, I wouldn’t have seen it. I’ve only been here a year, and when I arrived, I didn’t look.”
He understood. She hadn’t been ready then. But had anything changed? What made him think she was any more ready for commitment now than she’d been then?
What he’d done was dumb. She’d seemed disappointed when he’d said the kiss didn’t mean anything. She’d even let him put his arm around her and hold her hand. But that was a far cry from committing to forever.
If only he could take her home and retrieve the key later. But it was too late. He’d already opened his big mouth.
He’d poured out his heart in that letter. Once she read what he wrote, their friendship would become uncomfortable. Actually, simple friendship had become impossible somewhere between fearing he was going to lose her in the fire and realizing he’d once again fallen in love with her. And that was why he’d written the letter. He’d always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy.
She stepped onto the platform next to the bent-over palm and stretched, raising herself onto her toes. After sliding her fingers into a few of the recesses between the bases of the metal fronds, she eyed him with a frown.
“There’d better not be any spiders in here. Whose idea was this, anyway?”
“Yours.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Moments later she stepped down, arm raised in triumph, the key clutched in her hand. His own had grown clammy. His pulse had taken on an erratic rhythm, and the food he’d eaten had congealed into a doughy lump.
He swallowed hard. “I’ll wait here.”
That was the arrangement. One would leave the note; the other would digest it in privacy and decide how and whether to respond.
Of course, if her answer wasn’t what he’d hoped it would be, the ride back to Fort Myers would be really uncomfortable. He hadn’t thought that part through.
She handed him Alcee’s leash. She wouldn’t need his truck. The post office was at the edge of the park. “I’ll be back.” She bounded away from him at a half jog.
Some of his tension dissipated. Maybe he wasn’t making a mistake. Erin had to have an idea of what was in his letter. If she had no desire for a romantic relationship, there would be some stiffness in her step.
He moved up the sidewalk and strolled the length of the parking lot, Alcee trotting beside him. Then he turned and did it again. Three times, and Erin still hadn’t appeared.
That was good, right? That meant she was thinking about it rather than giving him a firm, reactive no.
He changed direction once again. No, it wasn’t good. The fact she had to think about it at all meant she wasn’t ready. And the longer she thought about it, the more reasons she’d come up with for why a romantic relationship was a bad idea.
He’d jumped the gun. He should’ve waited, given her more time to get used to the idea of allowing what they had to progress beyond friendship. Now he’d blown it.
He dropped to one knee and cupped the dog’s face between his hands.
“Oh, Alcee, what have I done?”
* * *
Erin leaned against the brick facade of the post office, a single sheet of paper clutched in one sweaty hand. Her heart pounded, and she was having a hard time drawing in a full breath.
Cody had done it. He’d gotten a post office box and written a letter. And she was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.
She had to give him an answer. She could tell him she needed more time. He’d give it to her. But that wouldn’t be fair to Cody. She knew herself. The decision would hang over her like a piece of nasty unfinished business, the dread building, making it impossible to ever say yes. God, please show me what to do. Whatever decision I make, please let it be the right one.
She reached for her phone. Her purse was in Cody’s truck, tucked under the passenger seat, but she’d slipped her phone into her back pocket. It was a good thing, because she really needed to talk to Courtney. Courtney would know how to talk her off the ledge.
No. She slid her phone back into her pocket. She couldn’t call a friend when she was out on a date with Cody.
She pushed herself awa
y from the wall and started to pace. Yes, she could. Even Who Wants to Be a Millionaire allowed phone-a-friend. She could actually see some correlation between her situation and the popular game show. The stakes were astronomical. She could be blissfully happy with her all-time true love, or she could crash and burn, like all the other times.
She pulled up Courtney’s number in her contacts and pressed the call icon. Courtney was her sounding board. More than that, she was her lifeline. Actually, wasn’t that what they called the helpers on the game show?
When her friend answered, Erin skipped the greeting. “You gotta help me. I think I’m going to hyperventilate.”
“Slow down and take some deep breaths.” For the next several moments Courtney did exactly that, sending the sounds of heavy, controlled breathing through the phone. Erin closed her eyes and joined her friend.
“Now, tell me what’s going on.”
Erin took a final deep breath. “It’s Cody.”
“Is he all right?” Courtney’s tone held a note of alarm. “I thought the case was over.”
“It is.” She lowered her voice. “He wrote the letter.”
“What does it say?”
She held the piece of paper under the glow emanating from the overhead lighting. Somehow, reading the words aloud seemed like being untrue to Cody. But she couldn’t do this alone. She cleared her throat.
“‘Erin, I’m better at building things than composing poetic words, but I’m going to give it my best shot. I was reminded recently that God works in mysterious ways. Our paths didn’t cross by accident. I believe God used circumstances to bring us together.’”
“See, what did I tell you?”
Erin smiled at the interruption, which was exactly what she’d expected to hear from Courtney. “‘When I left Chicago for a warmer climate, I chose here, hoping you’d found your way back, too, or would eventually. Everything I felt for you so long ago was still there. Now it consumes me. I love you and want you to be a part of my life forever.’”
She lowered the page. There was more, language that was typical Cody—concern and understanding for everything she’d been through, the desire to be there for her. He’d ended by begging her to let down her guard and trust him with her heart. But it was the last sentence she’d read to Courtney that had her thoughts spinning and panic coursing through her. Cody loved her and wanted her to be a part of his life forever.
Courtney was silent for several moments. “And you’re having trouble making a decision.”
“Of course I’m having trouble with the decision. Forever is a long time.”
“You love him, right?”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to. You talk about him every time we run, and there’s emotion behind every word.”
Yeah, she loved him. She’d been fighting it almost from the moment they’d pulled him out of the rubble. She began to pace again, and her gaze fell on one of the windows. Inside, the box Cody had rented was wide-open, the key still in the lock. She walked back through the glass door.
Courtney didn’t force her to answer the first question before she moved on to the second. “Are there any red flags?”
“None yet. But I’m good at missing those until it’s too late.”
“From the times I’ve talked to Cody and everything you’ve told me about him, I’m not sensing any land mines.” A sigh came through the phone. “Life is filled with uncertainty. Sometimes you have to be willing to take some risks to get the rewards.”
Erin closed the box and pocketed the key. She didn’t like risks, especially when it came to her heart. She was sure Cody was everything she believed him to be. But what if she was wrong? It wouldn’t be the first time. Or even the second or third.
Worse yet, what if she committed to him, made promises, then found she couldn’t follow through? She knew what her leaving had done to him the first time. If she did it again, how long would it take him to pick up the pieces? She couldn’t do that to someone as sweet and selfless as Cody.
“Have you prayed about it?” Courtney’s tone was sympathetic.
“Yes. But before tonight my prayers were to help me guard my heart and not be hurt again.” Out loud, the words had a selfish ring. She turned around to face the bank of boxes, letting her head rest against one of them. “I can’t bring myself to say no, though. I don’t know if I can commit to what he’s asking for, but I’m afraid that if I walk away again, I won’t get another chance. And I believe that’s something I’d regret for the rest of my life.”
“It sounds like you might have just made your decision.”
The tightness in her chest fled, coming out in a relaxed smile. Yes, she’d made her decision. She would risk anything to love and be loved by Cody. Even her heart.
She thanked Courtney and ended the call. When she turned toward the door, two figures stood at the bank of windows. Her heart fluttered as Cody walked through the front door leading Alcee. His eyes were filled with hesitation. When she held out her hand, the hesitation turned to hope.
“I’m sorry I had to think about this so long.”
One side of his mouth lifted. “You had me worried. I think I wore down the asphalt with my pacing.”
“I’ll admit, I had to phone a friend. I hope you don’t mind.”
“That depends on what you and your friend came up with.”
She pulled her hand free and wrapped both arms around his neck, still clutching his letter. “I think you’ll be happy with my answer.”
His concern dissolved in a broad smile as his arms circled her waist. The joy in his eyes confirmed she was making the right decision.
“I’ll be honest.” She drew in a deep breath. “The thought of making a commitment like this scares me silly. All my adult life, I’ve been so determined to not end up where my mom is, having to get my dad’s permission for everything she wants to do. So I always tried to keep my relationships casual. Sometimes that worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But after ten years of dealing with losers and users, I’d decided I was through. From here on out, it was going to be just me and Alcee.”
He gave her a crooked smile. “Alcee is pretty good company. She’s not a bad conversationalist, either.”
Erin grinned. “She’s a better companion than a lot of men I’ve met.”
“I hope you’re not including me in that group.”
“You’re the exception to the rule.” She once again grew serious. “As much as the idea of commitment scares me, the thought of living the rest of my life without you is unbearable. I love you, Cody, and I’m so glad you didn’t give up on me.”
He tightened his embrace. “I love you, too. Now that there’s not a burning building ready to collapse around us, can we try that kiss again?”
She grinned. “I think that’s a great idea.”
He dipped his head, and she met him halfway, rising up on her toes. When his lips met hers, her eyes fluttered shut, and she relaxed into him. This time there was no fear or desperation. Just an all-consuming sense of contentment. This was where she belonged.
At Alcee’s bark, he pulled away. “I think she’s being protective.”
“No, she’s being jealous. Neither of us is paying attention to her.”
She cupped the dog’s face in her hands and scratched her cheeks. “You’re spoiled. You know that?”
When she straightened, he drew her into his embrace again. The fluorescents above them bathed their stark surroundings in harsh white light. Not the dreamiest setting. But anywhere with Cody was romantic.
She laid her head against his chest. “This is a big step for me, but I recognize what you had to go through to get to this point. Letting down your guard enough to trust that I won’t walk away like your mother and your wife couldn’t have been easy. I decided if you’re willing to face your fears, then I could find the coura
ge to face mine.”
“I’m glad you did.” He moved his hand up her back and entwined his fingers in her hair. “So does this mean you’ll marry me?”
“No.”
His arms fell, and he stepped back, brows drawn together. “Why not?”
“Because you haven’t asked.”
Relief spilled out in laughter. “I can remedy that.” He took both of her hands and dropped to one knee. “Erin Jeffries, will you marry me?”
“If you give me a little time to get used to the idea, yes.”
He rose, wrapped her in a sideways hug and led her toward the door. “You can have all the time you need.”
When they reached the parking lot, he opened the back passenger door of his truck. Alcee hopped in and stretched across the seat.
Erin nodded in her direction. “That’s our ring bearer there.”
“Absolutely. From what I’ve seen, she’ll have no problem learning how to walk down an aisle carrying a silk pillow.”
Cody opened her door, and she climbed in, shaking her head.
“What?”
“I can’t believe you asked me to marry you in a post office lobby.”
“Hey, this all started with you digging me out of rubble.”
She slid both arms around his neck. “I guess we don’t do anything normally.”
“You never have.” He leaned in to kiss her on the tip of the nose. “And I love you for it.”
* * *
If you enjoyed this exciting story of suspense and intrigue, pick up these other stories from Carol J. Post:
Buried Memories
Reunited by Danger
Fatal Recall
Lethal Legacy
Bodyguard for Christmas
Dangerous Relations
Available now from Love Inspired Suspense!
Find more great reads at www.LoveInspired.com.
Keep reading for an excerpt from Amish Country Secret by Lenora Worth.
Dear Reader,
I hope you’ve enjoyed Erin and Cody’s story. This is my first book featuring a search-and-rescue dog, and I had a great time researching how they’re trained and what they do. The real Alcee, a white German shepherd belonging to my critique partner, Sabrina, greets me warmly every time I arrive for plotting/writing retreats.
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