by Jordan Ford
“Please say ambrosia pie.” I wink.
She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Of course. That will definitely be on the menu.”
“I knew it’d be a crowd favorite.”
“I still can’t believe how popular it is.” She shakes her head.
“You’ve tasted it, right?”
She giggles. “It’s different when you’ve cooked it yourself.”
“No, you just suck at taking a compliment.”
Her lips twitch as she dips her head and starts picking a loose thread on the edge of her jeans.
I park the truck as close to the entrance as I can. Jules takes her time getting out, nervously hovering by the bumper.
“Come on, you.” I take her hand and pull her into the hospital.
Cassidy and Keith have already arranged payment, so all I have to do today is make sure Jules gets the ultrasound.
When we reach the front reception, Jules forgets how to speak and I end up doing the talking. I don’t mind so much. It’s nice to look after her in this simple way. The lady at reception is really lovely, gushing over the fact that we’re pregnant. I don’t bother correcting her. I’ll probably never see this person again, and it’ll be nicer for Jules if she’s not thought of as the teenage dropout who got knocked up by an asshole.
As we ride the elevator up to the third floor, I guide my arm around her back. It feels very boyfriend-ish but she doesn’t move away.
I’m not her boyfriend.
I don’t know what I am.
We just hang out together…every day. She’s the first thing I think of in the morning and the last person on my mind at night. I walk her home after work, then smile the whole way back to my motel. On our days off we hang out in her little apartment playing cards and eating delicious food. The other night we went to the movies.
She’s brushed her lips against mine only once, but it was the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had. I want more. I’m not stupid enough to deny it. Jules is hot. She’s sweet, funny, easy to talk to.
But I’ve never had a girlfriend before.
Besides, with the whole pregnancy thing going on, it’s easier just to think of her as my friend. Who knows what’s going to happen after the baby’s born. And she still doesn’t know my story, even though she keeps subtly trying to find out the truth. It probably annoys her that I’m so stubborn with my secrets. She goes really quiet when I veer the conversation away. She’s going to have to be way more direct in her methods before I crack.
Hopefully it’ll take her a while to figure that out.
The elevator dings and we step onto the sterile floor. Our shoes squeak. I hold her hand, rubbing my thumb over her soft skin while she grips my fingers.
She keeps touching her stomach, probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. Her almond eyes are wide, her lips turning down at the corners. Aw, man, I hope her chin doesn’t start trembling. That does me in. I hate seeing her cry.
“It’s gonna be okay, Jules.”
“I know,” she whispers. “It’s just an ultrasound.”
“So what’s got you looking so scared, then?”
She stops and stares up at me. “I have a child growing in my belly. I’m about to see that little person, and I don’t know what it’s going to do to me. I feel so vulnerable and I can’t even explain why. I can’t afford to fall in love with this thing, not when I’m supposed to be giving it away.” Her voice cracks, the words breaking apart at the end.
I pull her into a hug, pressing my lips against her forehead. “You have got to have the biggest heart I’ve ever known.”
She rests her head against my shoulder and sniffs.
“Just remember you’re giving this little person the best chance at a good life. We’ll find the perfect family and you can go on knowing that you’ve done the right thing.” I rub her back and she nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Come on,” I murmur, guiding her down the right corridor.
We only have to wait ten minutes before the technician calls Jules in. I was planning on waiting outside, but when the lady invites me in and Jules doesn’t refute her, I shuffle in behind them. The room is dim, the soft glow from the monitor illuminating the bed.
“Lie down, please.”
Jules does what she’s told, suddenly looking small on the medical table. The technician tells her to undo her jeans. I do the right thing and look away until the technician laughs, then hisses.
“Oooo, look at those lines.”
I glance back and see the deep red groves in Julienne’s skin. Her jeans are unzipped, a large safety pin dangling from the buttonhole. Whoa, she’s totally got a bump. It’s so obvious without clothes in the way.
“Sweetie, it’s time to ditch the jeans and buy yourself some maternity pants. This bump’s not getting any smaller, and trying to stay in your old clothes is bad for both you and the baby.”
Jules blinks and nods.
The technician looks over her and smiles at me. “Keep telling her she’s beautiful every day…and take her shopping.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I let out a shaky laugh, then look at Jules.
She’s pregnant.
She’s seriously pregnant and I can see it.
Funny how it’s felt like this slightly mystical thing until now.
“Adjusting to a new body is hard, I get it. You don’t want to feel fat.” The technician starts pressing buttons on her machine. “But you’re not. You are gorgeous and lean and you’re sharing your body right now. You’ll get it back after the baby is born. Plus, you’ll be far more comfortable if you give in to the stretchy pants twenty-four-seven.”
Picking up a bottle of goop, she squirts it on Julienne’s stomach.
“It’s cold,” Jules squeaks.
The technician grins, then places a plastic scanner thing on Julienne’s belly.
A weird swishing sound comes out of the machine. I squint at the screen, trying to figure out what it is.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” the lady murmurs.
“Wow,” I whisper, slightly in awe. “It’s so fast.”
“Yeah.” She grins at me, obviously finding my astonishment cute. “So, here’s the head.” She points at the screen and I totally see it.
Jules and I gasp in unison. Holy cow, there’s a mini human inside Jules. I can make out the nose and arms.
“There’s the spine.” The technician runs her finger along the black-and-white image and I totally see the spine!
“That’s incredible.” My eyes bulge as she moves the camera to reveal a little hand with five miniature fingers.
“Do you want to know the sex of your child?” She looks between Jules and me.
We glance at each other, not sure how to deny the assumption that the baby’s mine…that we’re a loving couple about to become parents.
I open my mouth to say something but just can’t form the words. I don’t want to ruin this moment with the truth right now.
So instead, I take Julienne’s hand and give it a little squeeze. “Do you want to know?”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
The technician tips her head with a kind smile, no doubt assuming Jules means that as long as the baby is healthy, it really doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl.
But I know the truth.
I can hear it in the quietness of Jules’s voice. She’s saying it doesn’t matter because she’s not going to be raising it.
It’s a good thing. She’s only eighteen. She shouldn’t have to raise a kid right now. And she’ll make a childless couple very happy.
So why does she look so sad?
And why do I feel like a rock has just been dropped into my stomach?
“Let me just do a few measurements,” the woman murmurs, staring at the screen and missing the forlorn look on Julienne’s face.
I rub my thumb over the back of her hand, trying to comfort her but not knowing what to say.
Buttons click as t
he lady takes photos of the baby.
“I can print these out for you to take home,” she murmurs, then hovers the scanner over the baby’s head, giving Jules a final look. “The baby can hear you now.”
Julienne’s lips part. “Really?”
“Yeah, so chat away. Your voice is one of the most important things. The baby will recognize it as soon as it pops out of your womb.”
Tears spring onto Julienne’s lashes.
Again, the woman misinterprets them. “Such a miracle, isn’t it?”
She puts the scanner away and hands Jules some paper towels so she can wipe her belly clean. The tears are trickling down her cheeks now. I go to wipe them away but am stopped by the buzzing phone in my pocket.
With a little sigh, I pull it out, ready to switch it off.
But it’s Riley.
I grip the phone and look to Jules. “I’ll just be a second.”
She nods. “I’ll meet you outside.”
Slipping out the door, I answer the phone, my voice cracking. “Hey, man.”
“Are you okay?”
I stop in the bright corridor, my eyes adjusting as I lean against the wall. “Uh, yeah. I’m good.”
“So then, why the hell have you gone radio silent? I’ve been waiting for you to call and check in, but nothing…”
“Well, you could have called me.”
“That’s what I’m doing, you jackass!”
I wince, then snicker. Irate Riley is always funny. “Would you calm down? I’m fine.”
“You’re such an asshole,” he grumbles.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, don’t be a princess. So I didn’t call.”
“We’re worried about you! We want to know what you’re doing, where you are. You might not give a shit about us up here but we’re thinking about you all the time.”
Guilt douses my attitude, leaving me cold and remorseful. “I’m sorry, okay. I just… I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what?”
Getting the shit kicked out of me, looking after a pregnant girl, finding an unexpected happy. Man, it’s so tempting to tell him but that’ll only rile him up even more. I clear my throat and go for vague. “Working.”
“Wait, are you still in Reno? I thought you were moving on.”
“Yeah, I was going to but… you know.”
“No,” Riley snaps. “I don’t know, because you suck at staying in touch.”
I sigh.
“What’s keeping you there?”
Squeezing the back of my neck, I head down the hall. “It’s…um…”
“Oh shit. You got in trouble.”
“No, I…”
“What’d you do?”
“Nothing.”
I can’t admit I was beat up. Riley will flip a switch.
“So, why aren’t you moving on?”
“I, uh, just need to acquire a few more funds.”
“You lost all your money?” Riley’s voice is getting high and loud. Oh man, I hope Trey isn’t within earshot. “Are you gambling?”
“No!” I huff. I seriously need to turn this conversation around. “I have to help someone.”
That’s better. That makes me sound good.
“Help someone.” Riley’s voice drops low—flat and cynical.
I nod. “Yeah. She, uh—”
“She? Oh man! Why am I not surprised! Of course it’s about a girl.”
“Hey, I—”
“Since when has a girl ever gotten you to stay put?”
“It’s not like that.”
Riley groans. “Oh, this is bad.”
“Would you shut up already? It’s not like that. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m sticking in Reno because I like it.”
“And there’s a girl.”
I grit my teeth. Shit! Riley’s always been good at reading me, but it pisses me off that he can do it when we’re not even standing in the same room.
“Please, please, hear me.” Riley’s voice shakes with desperation. “Ditch the girl and come home. It’s not fair to get her caught up in our problems.”
My eyebrows dip together as I bark, “What problems? Nothing’s happened! No one is after us. It’s over!”
“It’s not over! The police aren’t the only ones we need to worry about here. You honestly think a certain uncle is just going to drop all this? She betrayed him. He’s gonna make her pay. That’s how these things work.”
“It’s not our problem, Ry.”
Riley’s silence is icy and unnerving.
I swallow.
“You and Trey are the only family I have. If you’ve got a problem, I’ve got a problem. That’s the way it works.” Closing my eyes, I hold in my sigh, guilt gnawing on my stomach as Riley’s voice drops to a quiet murmur. “Just watch your back, man. If Ana’s family finds us before the police do, it’s not going to be pretty.”
Images of Ana’s body jerking and then slumping against Trey are vivid in my mind. His cries as he begged her to stay with him…
A shiver runs down my spine.
I think of Jules and how my stomach pitched when she had that ligament pain. How the hell would I feel if I was carrying her blood-soaked body?
Nausea sweeps through me, followed by a heavy uncertainty.
What if Riley’s right? What if they are still looking? What if they find me when I’m with Jules and they try to hurt her?
“You still there?” Riley pulls me away from the tormenting questions just as Jules appears in the hallway.
“I’ve gotta go.”
“Break up and come home!” I hang up on Riley’s yell and shove the phone in my pocket.
Pasting on a smile is damn near impossible, especially when I look up to find Jules studying me, her gaze narrowing with curiosity.
#21:
A Number of Lies
Julienne
Kade’s face is too white, his movements too jerky, as he shoves the phone into his pocket.
I haven’t known him that long but I’ve spent enough time with him to know something is definitely off.
My eyes narrow as I walk toward him. The jumbled feelings I’ve been fighting all day are trying to take me out.
I saw my baby.
But it’s not my baby.
But it is my baby, because I’m the one growing it. I’m the one it can hear.
And Kade’s about to lie to me again. This sweet guy who walks me home and spends time with me. I don’t have to take my clothes off around him. I’m worth more than just sex. He likes spending time with me.
It’s easy to relax with him. To trust him.
But he’s a liar.
“Are you okay?” I touch his arm.
“Yeah.” He nods.
Lie number one.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Just…Keith.” He shrugs.
Lie number two.
My eyes smart and I look away from him. I shouldn’t care.
If he wants to lie to me, then so be it.
But I do care.
I need him.
I need him to be good and trustworthy. I need him to stick around so that when I give this baby away I’ll have someone to hold me and tell me I’ve done the right thing.
“Are we done here?” Kade looks past my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I croak. “We’re done.”
I spin and walk to the elevators. My legs feel like jelly, and my fragile vulnerability is close to undoing me. I want to curl into a ball and blubber.
Kade’s boots squeak on the shiny floor and then his hand encases mine. I want to rip free of his grasp and cling to him at the same time. I don’t want to need him or feel anything for him. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it.
“Why won’t you tell me the truth?” My whisper is desperate. “I just want to know the truth.”
We stop at the metal doors and Kade sighs, pressing the down button too hard. “Please trust me. It’s better that you don’t know.”
“It’s hard to trust a liar.” I w
rench my hand away and cross my arms. “Whoever you just spoke to said something that freaked you out. I was watching your face.”
The doors ding open and we step in together. Smashing the button, I keep my back to him and try to get control of myself. I can’t lose it right now, not when everything is so close to the surface.
I saw my baby’s hand. Five perfect little fingers.
The heartbeat…it was so fast. I’ll never forget that sound as long as I live.
I’m going to get fat.
Kade’s a liar.
He’s going to leave me. As soon as I don’t need him, he’ll take off and I’ll be all alone.
I touch my stomach, my insides quaking with my impending losses.
As soon as we reach the bottom floor, I power out of the elevator.
“Jules, wait.” Kade runs after me and tries to take my hand again.
I can’t let him. Shoving it into my pocket, I keep my arm rigid when he tries to wriggle my hand free.
“Jules, come on,” he huffs. “Don’t be like this.”
The air is damp outside. Rain is coming. I look up at the dark gray clouds, feeling their animosity. Understanding it.
“I told you my secret,” I snap. “Why can’t you tell me yours? Why’d you run away? Are you in trouble? Did that person on the phone threaten you? What! Tell me!”
The people entering the hospital give me an odd stare. Taking my elbow, Kade ushers me into the parking lot. “I can’t tell you. How many times do I have to say it? This isn’t just about me. I’m trying to protect someone.”
“Who?” I jerk to a stop.
He closes his eyes, turns his head away, and my heart sinks into my acidic stomach.
“Who is she?” My whisper is so soft I barely hear myself say it.
Kade whips to face me, his blue eyes stormy with everything I don’t want to hear.
There’s someone else.
I back away from him.
“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend’s girl. I’m trying to help him out.”
I stop, studying his face, searching for the lies.
But I can’t see them.
My forehead wrinkles. “What is he expecting you to do?”
“Not tell anyone where they’re hiding.”
“And why do they have to hide?”
