Her heart constricted at his lifeless voice. She remembered the way he’d spoken of his stepfather at the ball, but she’d never imagined their relationship had been like this.
“So I sat there, having just tossed my cookies for the third time. I was hung over, hurting and I realized I was tired of being me. Can you believe that, at eighteen years old?” Reilly laughed, but it was harsh and without humor. “I tried for years to please my stepfather, for my mother’s sake, but it didn’t matter how good my grades were or how many sports I lettered in. I was never good enough. So, I spent more and more time getting drunk and fighting. Those two activities defined me—you sure you want to hear this?”
Cassandra nodded and inched closer. She realized Reilly’s fingers had stopped moving and he was staring into the fire. “Yes, please tell me.”
“After my stepfather left, I sat at the edge of a metal cot, my face pressed against the cold, iron bars. I could barely see the TV, but it was his voice—you’ve probably never seen one of his movies—John Wayne had a booming voice. His character was a hard ass US Marine, a sergeant, training new recruits.”
His shoulders straightened and his posture immediately changed. “He told them life was hard, but so what? Life was unfair, but that didn’t matter either. They were Marines. And it didn’t matter where they came from, what they were before. As Marines, they could do anything. They could be…anything.”
“The next morning I went home, took a shower and headed for the local recruiting office. An hour after graduation, I was on a bus. I never looked back.”
Cassandra blinked away her tears, knowing Reilly wouldn’t welcome them. “How long were you in the Marines?”
“Twenty years. I planned to stay longer but I was forced to retire due to a medical disability.”
She could hear the anger in his words. “Can I…can I ask when you hurt your knee?”
“Almost two years ago.” Reilly sighed. “And you’re up to number twelve.”
A shiver raced through her body as she reacted to the loss of the fire’s heat, but Cassandra’s didn’t want to ask Reilly to move. She wanted him to keep talking. “How did you get hurt? You said it was when you were in the Marines, but how actually?”
His head dropped back and she could see his eyes were closed. He had to swallow twice before he spoke. “My unit was called up for a rescue mission in, well, let’s just say in an unfriendly country. A Navy pilot and his RIO, that’s Rear Intercept Officer, the guy who rides in the back, had engine trouble. They were forced to land. We had a good fix on their location. Intelligence told us it would be an easy extraction. We found them quickly, but they were both in pretty bad shape.”
He lowered his head again, stopping to clear his throat. His voice was deeper when he spoke again. “We took a few extra minutes to provide medical care and those minutes cost us. The helo—helicopter—didn’t get our radio transmission to delay. It was under heavy fire when we got there. Everyone made it on board, I was last man. I almost made it before a bullet ripped through my knee. Hasn’t been the same since.”
Her heart ached for the pain he’d suffered. “Couldn’t the doctors do anything?”
“Yeah, surgery and six months of physical therapy.” Reilly’s tone left no doubt at how he felt. “Then six months later a shiny medal and a shove out the door.”
“All in a year’s time? Wow, you must’ve felt as if your whole world had come crashing down around you.”
“You have no idea.”
Cassandra tucked her hands inside the drop cloth and ran them over the goose bumps racing over her skin as another chill passed through her. Don’t be too sure. If anyone knows what it’s like to find your life turned upside down, it’s me.
Of course, she couldn’t compare it to what Reilly had gone through. “Is that why—”
Reilly jerked around. “Look, you’re up to number—what’s wrong?”
“No-nothing. Why d-do y-you ask?”
“That’s question fourteen and the most annoying one yet. You’re sitting back there shivering, you little fool.”
“You’re b-blocking the h-heat from the fire, you b-big ape—”
Before she could finish, Reilly reached for her.
He dragged her across his muscular thighs until she was cradled in his lap. The warmth of the fire licked at her body when the drop cloth fell from her shoulders. She shuddered from the sudden rush of heat flowing over her from her breasts to the top of her thighs. Her eyes closed at the pure pleasure of the feeling of it on her skin.
“Did you just purr?”
Cassandra heard the teasing in Reilly’s voice, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t realized how cold she’d gotten sitting behind him. It felt like she’d just stepped under the hot spray of a shower, and it was wonderful. “Go ahead and laugh, but I was turning into an ice cube—”
“Cass, open your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to kiss you. And that was question number fifteen.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cassandra’s eyes flew open to find Reilly’s face inches from hers. His arm encircled her, pulling her closer to the hard planes of his chest. A natural heat radiated from his skin. His other hand whispered up her shoulder, until it reached her throat. Cassandra jumped the moment his fingers curved around her neck.
“Relax, honey.” A smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “This isn’t going to hurt.”
But it did hurt.
It wasn’t the desire flowing through her that ached when his words danced across her skin. No, this ache was a long-familiar companion. It started deep in her chest, and stretched out to the tips of her fingers and toes. Then it found its way back to where it all began, the icy barrier she’d built around her heart.
But now, it demanded recognition. Recognition and release.
Steady and strong, her heart was alive again because of this man.
The unevenness of Reilly’s breathing belied his calm demeanor. He lowered his head, his eyes never breaking contact with hers when his mouth claimed hers in a tender kiss. He gently brushed his lips over hers.
Cassandra opened her mouth to the serene pressure, and her eyes closed the same moment his did. Her tongue sought entrance, searching for him. He stayed just out of her reach. She countered by retreating, but not before snaking the tip of her tongue over the smooth edge of his teeth.
This time he came after her and she was ready. She could feel his smile against her lips before he deepened the kiss. The constrained power told her he was holding back, letting her set the pace. She reached up to push her fingers through the short scruff of hair at the back of his head. The damp coolness tingled against her fingertips.
She angled her head to give him greater access to her mouth and he took it. His tongue thrust deeply, demanding she give back to him as much as he gave her.
And she did, loving the hot, dense taste of him. When he broke away she moaned her displeasure until his lips snaked along her jaw to her ear. How could such a light touch generate such incredible heat?
His hand moved to the hollow of her throat before he continued to the valley between her breasts. He lifted the center edge of her bra and Cassandra’s breath disappeared. She waited for the slight movement, which would release the front clasp, baring her breasts to his touch.
His fingers stilled. “If this is going to stop, it needs to be now.”
Cassandra’s heart pounded against its icy barrier. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. She’d been right. The steel gray color of his eyes did darken to almost black when laced with passion. How had she not noticed that before?
He wanted her. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. Why now? Why not last night when she’d begged him not to end what she’d started?
Honorable.
Reilly was an honorable man. He’d told her as much this morning and again tonight when he’d confided in her about his injury. He did the right thing. Always. No matter wha
t it cost him.
The ice deep inside her cracked when she covered his fingers with her own and twisted. “Don’t stop,” she whispered.
A deep groan escaped Reilly’s lips as the clasp gave way. His mouth captured hers again. He brushed aside the scraps of lace, and the palm of his hand moved across her nipples, causing them to bead and harden. His lips trailed down her neck and Cassandra knew right where she wanted his mouth to be. She arched her back, thrusting her breasts against him. Reilly understood her silent plea. He pulled her closer. His lips imprisoned one nipple and sucked.
A deep fracture spread through the coldness. Cassandra could finally feel the inner warmth reaching her heart despite the chill of the night air on her skin. His hand continued past her ribcage to her stomach, her abdominal muscles clenching from his touch. He continued his attentions to her breasts, first one then the other, while his fingers skimmed back and forth at the edge of her panties, creating a throbbing deep inside her.
Droplets of water fell from his hair to sizzle against her skin. His husky moan filled the air as he slowly slipped his fingers into one side of her thong and pulled it past her hips. She moved her hands to the hard planes of his biceps, bracing herself as she wiggled the scrap of red lace past her knees and calves.
Reilly shifted and soon they both lay on the bed of drop cloths, with him stretched out beside her. The coarseness of the cloth still wrapped around his body rubbed her legs. She wanted it gone. She desperately wanted to feel him, all of him, pressing against her. The depth of her need caused her to shiver.
“Are you cold?” Reilly whispered, pulling the corner of one of the drop cloths over her.
“Yes—no—I don’t know.”
Her answer came in short gasps as she reached between their bodies. Her fingers grazed Reilly’s stomach. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she found the folded edge of material.
“Cass, when was the last time you did this?”
The fold gave way beneath her trembling fingers. It was essential for him to be as naked as she, and the last thing she wanted was to talk. “A while.”
He covered her hands with his, stopping her. “How long is ‘a while’?”
“What’s this?” She looked up at him and tried to put a hint of teasing in her voice, hoping it would drown out her fear. “My turn at ‘Twenty Questions’?”
“How long?” Reilly intertwined his fingers with hers.
Why was he asking her this? Did he think she did this kind of thing all the time? She almost wished she could tell him yes. But what if he—ohmigod, he was going to stop. Again. “It isn’t important.”
He stared down at her. “Yes, it is.”
Cassandra closed her eyes against his penetrating stare. She wanted to lie. She wanted to tell him she did this kind of thing all the time. She didn’t want him to bring what was building between them, inside her, to a standstill. “A couple of years, I guess.”
“A couple?”
Cassandra could feel the arctic walls freezing again around her heart. She didn’t want that either. She wanted to be free, had to be free. There was no turning back now that she knew Reilly was the one man who could shatter her frozen world into a million tiny splinters.
Reilly looked down at Cassandra’s beautiful face. She didn’t want to answer. She was trying to hide from something, but what?
“Six,” she finally said, the trembling behind her still-closed eyelids belying the calmness of her answer. “I haven’t had sex in six years.”
Six years. Damn.
He let go of her hands and pulled the loose drop cloth even farther over her. He then brushed the damp curls away from her face. His heart twisted hard in his chest when she turned to him, and buried her face into his shoulder.
“If you don’t—” Geez, he couldn’t believe he was going to say this, “—if you don’t want to do this, it’s okay.”
Her lips moved against his neck, her tongue tracing small circles as she moved her way up to his ear. “Reilly, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my entire life.”
A powerful longing surged through him. Her lips trailed along his jawline and he turned to them. Taking her mouth, Reilly knew he should ask her one more time if she was sure.
Dammit, he was a selfish bastard. He didn’t want to give her another chance to change her mind. To change his mind.
He’d never gotten personally involved with a case before. Never allowed his emotions to interfere with a job, military or otherwise. But Cassandra was more than a job, much more, no matter how hard he tried to convince both her and himself differently.
That didn’t mean this was going to go anywhere. He didn’t have anything to offer. He hated his past and had no plans for his future. All he ever lived for, all that ever mattered to him was the here and now. And here and now, he had this beautiful woman naked in his arms.
And she wanted him the same way. Her hot hand wrapped around the rigid length of him, her touch uncertain, then bold. His moan was silenced in their kiss. She continued to push at the cloth, trying to get it over his hips. He broke free from her mouth and quickly shrugged out of the material. The cool night air hit his body. Drawn to Cassandra’s warmth, he slid beneath the makeshift blankets. She welcomed him into her arms.
His lips found her shoulder, then moved over her collarbone. For the first time he noticed the marks that bastard had left on her pale skin. The redness had faded over the past twenty-four hours, but the wounds were still visible.
He stilled. The ache in his gut at his failure to keep her from harm hardened to a ball of rage. Cassandra’s hands on his face, in his hair, and pulling him closer to her forced him to forget what he couldn’t change, and concentrate on what was happening right now.
He moved back to the outer edge of her breast. Her skin smelled of rain, fire and her signature tropical scent. They could’ve been on a deserted island in the Caribbean instead of a deserted beach house on Nantucket. Nipping at her, he untangled her fingers from his hair, and lifted her arm.
“Roll over.”
Cassandra let a childlike giggle slip free when his mouth hit a sensitive spot. The sound wrapped tightly around his heart.
“What?”
“Number sixteen…now roll over,” he repeated against her skin, gently pushing as he continued his kisses. “Damn, I love your back.”
Cassandra propped herself up on her elbows and turned to look at him, her eyes peeking at him through a veil of curls. “My back?”
“Hmmm, yeah.” He watched the light from the fireplace flicker over her skin as he braced himself with one arm. His lips went to her skin again, making their way over her shoulder blades. “That dress, cut all the way to your waist, almost dropped me to my knees.”
Cassandra went still under his lips. Reilly silently cursed himself for bringing up the reminder. He moved up to look at her. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to make you think about last night.”
“No, it’s all right.”
She turned more toward him and Reilly met her lips in a slow, moist kiss. He tasted her sureness of what was happening between them before he moved back to her shoulders.
She turned away again. “I feel safe…here with you.” Cassandra bent and dropped kisses onto his forearm in between each word.
Her declaration etched deep in his soul. Thanks to the Marine Corps, Reilly had mastered the ability to keep his feelings sealed tightly away, deep inside his own internal lockbox. Where they couldn’t get in the way of any given mission. Where they couldn’t force him to deal with a past he’d rather forget.
Where they didn’t have the power to hurt him.
Thanks to Cassandra, he’d been forced to deal with those feelings more now than ever before in his entire life. She’d gotten him talking about his stepfather, and to call his half brother.
Hell, it was his desire to keep her safe that had brought him back here to Heaven’s Gate. Back to the only place he’d ever been happy. A place he thought he’d
given away years ago.
Reilly pushed those thoughts from his head. He didn’t want to think, only to feel. To feel the smoothness of her skin as he trailed his free hand down the center of her spine and over the tantalizing curve of her backside. He concentrated on following the same path with his mouth, stopping to linger at the small of her back.
She arched against his lips, and Reilly smiled as he ran his hand possessively over her hip. Turning her on her back again, he tried to move over her when she stopped him.
“Oh, no.” She pushed back against his shoulder. “My turn.”
The anticipation of what she was going to do churned in his gut. The hesitation mixed with passion in her eyes made him want to reassure her. He offered her a slight grin and relaxed, giving over all the power to her. Jamming a pile of the cloths under his head for a pillow, he found himself flat on his back.
Cassandra returned his smile and leaned over him, this time nothing between her lips and his skin. Her luscious curls, still damp from the storm, draped across his chest. He shivered, and she whispered something over his heart he couldn’t hear before she captured the nub of his nipple in her hot mouth.
One of his hands sank into her hair, but she only stayed there for a moment before she moved farther down his chest. Her hair trailed after her, and he didn’t know if he was directing her or simply following. She wrapped her hand around his heated flesh, and his fingers tightened on her curls.
When she took him into her mouth, a sharp hiss escaped past his lips. His breath evaporated from his lungs as she teased and tasted the length of him. He didn’t attempt to hide the fact he was watching her. Her teeth gently scraping, her tongue soothing the sting, brought him to even greater heights of desire and need. He wanted her to stop. No, he wanted it to last forever, but it’d been too long, he wasn’t going to be able to hold on.
Reilly pulled her up the length of him and flipped her over on her back. “Enough.”
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