ONE DAY, WHEN ISAAC knew that Abram had a light day of customer visits, he came over to Abram and Hannah’s house while they ate breakfast.
“Daed, come in! Coffee? Breakfast?”
“Coffee, thank you. Your mamm fed me well this morning. Hannah, how are you and Eleanor doing?”
“Well, denki! She is growing so fast! Would you like to see her?”
Isaac held the baby, playing with her soft cheeks and hands as he talked with Abram and Hannah. “Son, Eli Yoder took me to one of these domestic violence shelters and I got to speak to some of the workers there. It was...enlightening, I tell you. I think you should go with me to speak to one of the residents. She is willing, along with her counselor, to meet us at a restaurant in town.”
“But Daed, things have been going well for us...”
“Ya. And I am thankful to Gott for that. But you don’t want to become complacent and hit a bad spot. Not now, since you’re a daed. Your schedule is light today, like mine. Besides, Eli said he and Jethro would cover for us. It would only take up the morning. Listen to this girl. Susan is her name. She can tell you exactly what she’s been through. We’ll meet at a diner, talk to her and come back home. If you get any calls for service after, you can go take care of them.”
Abram looked at Hannah, who nodded. “Okay. Let me just make sure of my appointment today. It’s for one-thirty.”
“We’ll be back well before then.” Handing the baby back to Hannah, Isaac led Abram to the buggy.
AT THE DINER IN TOWN, Abram held onto his hot coffee mug nervously. He didn’t know what to expect as they spoke with Susan and her counselor. He jumped slightly at a nudge from Isaac’s elbow.
“There she is. The tall, black girl.”
Abram hadn’t expected a girl of color. Since he had been taught to accept people of all races and ethnicities, he shook that off quickly. Standing with his daed, he smiled and extended his hand. “Abram Beiler.”
“Susan Williams. This is my counselor, Beth Cross.” The newcomers ordered breakfast.
Because Isaac and Abram had already eaten, they just accepted refills on their coffees. “Susan, Abram has been having some difficulties in treating his wife, Hannah, with the respect she is due. What’s more, they have an infant in their home, too, so it’s especially urgent that he deal with the issue or issues that are causing him to threaten Hannah.”
“Whoa. That’s a sensitive one for me. Abram, my dad hit my mom. He’s in prison because of that. He nearly killed her...left her blind and in a wheelchair. I didn’t know any better. I thought that all women deserved that kind of treatment, so when I started seeing boys and men, I didn’t think it was wrong that they beat me. What happens with you and Hannah?”
Abram swallowed, his mouth dry. “Well, when she wants to make decisions with me...say, about my business as a farrier—I take care of horses and shoe them—sometimes, I don’t think she should have anything to do with my work. She’s a baker and, more often than not, she makes her decisions for her business. I’ve gotten better about asking for her input and she accepts mine as well. I...hit her one time and put a big bruise on her cheek.”
“Was this before or after she had your baby?”
“Before. We had just found out a couple months before that we were expecting her. I don’t know how much you know about the Amish...”
“I know about your ban or excommunication practices. I’m Catholic, so it’s something that happens in pretty extreme cases. Your community’s rules don’t allow violence. And I’m going to explain why, in our world, violence is wrong. I married my latest abuser. He was unusual. While we were dating, he was the kindest and most considerate man I had ever met. He wanted my input on things. He treated me as if I was God’s gift to him. Then, shortly after we came back from our honeymoon, he changed. He became jealous and controlling, wanting to know why it took so long for me to get from work to home or from the store to home.
“We were trying to have a baby. His behavior scared me, but I thought it was normal. And, for years, I didn’t get pregnant. Come to find out, I can’t. I won’t get into the particulars, but Eric, my husband, thought I was tricking him. He wanted a couple kids. So, when I came home with the medical report, he hit me after he read it. From then on, I was damaged goods to him. And I was worth no more than the trash. So he yelled and cursed at me. He hit me and put bruises on me. As a marketing executive, I couldn’t work if I had injuries because I spent so much time in meetings with clients. One night, he gave me the worst beating I’ve ever gotten in my life.
Susan licked her lips, seeming to gather her courage. “He...came home from work. He had a twelve-pack of beer in his hand and he put it in the refrigerator. He was in a bad mood because...well, just because. I made dinner and served it. He ate it and I brought out the dessert. I remember, it was this flan he loves. ‘I’m not in the mood for flan tonight! I wanted cobbler!’ So, he took the dish and smashed it against the wall. I tried to run. I got halfway to the door, had just grabbed my purse when he grabbed my hair. He pulled me back, threw the purse against the fireplace and everything in there just burned up.”
Chapter 8
“I had no documents. He beat me, breaking the orbital bone of my eye—you can still see a little swelling there. Tore some of my hair out. That’s why it’s so short now. Broke several ribs and ruptured my spleen. Our neighbors heard the commotion and called the police. He ran out the back door as they came smashing in through the front. They caught up to him several hours later when I was in surgery. When the surgeon found out how I’d gotten so badly injured—although he had a good idea—he called the shelter. They sent a counselor over and she came to speak to me. That’s the day I met Beth. And she has been the biggest help to me!” Here, Susan broke down.
Handing several facial tissues to Susan, Beth took over. “Abram, you look shocked. Honestly, I’m glad. Right now, Susan is in the process of getting her documents again so she can go back to work and find a new place to live. Fortunately, her boss held her job open for her. She’s going to have to change everything, along with her address. Bank. Internet. Changing how she goes from home to work and back again. Even buying a different car so he can’t recognize her.”
Abram was stunned and felt more than a little sick. “But, isn’t he still in jail?”
“Oh, yeah, he is. But that’s no guarantee that a jury will agree with the prosecuting attorney. Or me. They could let him just go scot-free. And then I’m in danger again.”
“Is he...?”
“Still trying to make contact with me? Yup. The D.A. is trying to get the judge to sign an order that denies him the right to contact me. It’s called a restraining order. And that’s another thing. If I had bothered to do any research on Eric before we started dating, I would have known that he has a pretty extensive history as an abuser.”
Isaac and Abram looked at each other. Abram’s face was pale under his tan. “Susan, thank you for speaking to me. He sounds like a piece of work. The reason I went after my wife was because, years ago, I spent the summer with an uncle who thinks nothing of beating his wife.”
Susan was stunned. “Even with your community rules against violence?”
“Ya. Somehow, he has gotten away with that.”
Susan leaned forward. She tapped a painted fingernail against the tabletop. “Abram, your uncle is taking advantage of your aunt. Terribly so. He’s making excuses about how women are supposed to be subservient to their husbands. Right?” At Abram’s nod, she continued. “I am telling you right now that his wife and your wife are individuals, created by God. And they have the right to express themselves, even if what they say is wrong. You got me? You have a precious little one. Boy or girl?”
“Girl.”
“What’s her name?”
“Eleanor.”
“Ahh! I love it! I bet your wife named her after Eleanor Roosevelt, right?”
“Ya.”
“She was giving you a message there. From today
onward, I want you to treat that beautiful wife and sweet little baby like the most precious gold or jewels that God could ever create.”
Before the group split up, Isaac asked Susan if she would be willing to meet with him and Abram again. “Because he is struggling, I want him to continue learning why it’s so destructive for families when one family member is abusive.”
“I would like to meet with you. But Abram, are you willing to commit to additional discussions? Since escaping Eric, I’ve learned that all the discussion and learning in the world don’t mean one thing if the person isn’t willing to make changes.”
“Ya, I am. I don’t want to be like this.” Abram was definite about his decision. Looking down, he studied his hands as he contemplated his question.
Susan and Beth, seeing his indecision, waited.
“Susan, is it stupid of me to be so confused by two different points of view on how men treat their wives? I mean, I respect—used to respect—my uncle. But now that I know what he did was so wrong, I am beginning to think he doesn’t deserve our respect.” Seeing his daed nodding, Abram was surprised.
Pointing at Isaac, Susan said, “There’s your answer. Mister Beiler, is the uncle your brother?”
“Sadly, yes he is. And, if I had known that Abram would be exposed to his actions and beliefs, I would never have allowed him to go and visit that summer. We don’t communicate or spend very much time with my brother anymore.”
Beth spoke up. “That’s good in one aspect, Mister Beiler. Less exposure for your children and grandchildren is always beneficial. But, can you let your nieces, especially, know that if they need a safe place to stay, your home is available?”
“We have.”
“Thank you.”
After exchanging phone numbers, the group split and left the diner. On their way home, Abram was in a pensive mood. “Daed, hearing what Susan went through made me want to be sick. To think that I have put Hannah through that is reprehensible to me. I love her! How could I do that to someone I love so much?”
“Did you ask your uncle about why he beat your auntie?”
“Nee! I was afraid he’d beat me up! But I did ask John.”
“And? What did he say?”
“That his mamm had stepped outside the bounds that his daed had created for her. When I asked John what he meant, he told me that Uncle Zeb had told her that she was free to make her decisions about anything inside the house and for her quilting business. But, when it came to his farming, buying tools or whether to buy more land, or even about the kinder, he would make the decisions. And, on the day he beat her so badly, she had attempted to tell him she disagreed with his decision about Becky’s rumspringa.”
“Hmmm. Ya, we always disagreed on that. Even before we courted our wives, he had that narrow mindset. When I tried to tell him that he was making decisions that could hurt his family, Zeb nearly took my head off with his yelling. Abram, he has always had a hot temper. He secretly wanted to become one of the community elders, but his name was never put into the Bible for drawing. Between you and me, I believe the elders and community members saw what our family saw. He is very narrow minded and just way too hotheaded.”
“Ya, he does have a temper. I remember, later on that summer, when he tasked me with pulling weeds, he got so angry with me because I wasn’t as fast as my cousins were. Of course, I understand now that they got fast only out of fear of being hit and beaten. John saw what happened and set me to pulling the weeds growing among the more mature crops.”
Two days later, Hannah, Abram and Eleanor went to the Yoders’ for a Council session. Linda led the meeting, discussing the issue of domestic violence in homes with young children. “Your kinder take everything in. They pick up on your moods and emotions, gut and bad. Hannah, has Eleanor been able to sense when you’re nervous?”
Hannah laughed ruefully. “Oh, ya, she has! If I haven’t been able to figure out why she’s crying, and I get nervous, she just gets worse!”
“And so it is with every negative emotion. Ya, we all feel them. All of us. But it’s in how we deal with what we’re feeling that determines the home’s atmosphere. Abram, you’re nodding. Do you have something specific in mind?”
“I do. My daed and I went to speak with an Englisch survivor of domestic violence. At the end of our discussion, she asked what we named the baby, and when I told her, she said that this is because Hannah wants Eleanor to be strong, just like her namesake, Eleanor Roosevelt. Then, on our way home, we talked about my uncle. He told my auntie that she would only have the responsibility for decisions about household matters and her quilting. He wouldn’t even allow her to give him her thoughts about their kinder! And, on the day I witnessed that beating, she had tried to intervene on an issue regarding my cousin’s rumspringa. And that was why he was hitting her so bad.”
Did you and Hannah talk about all of this?”
“Ya. But I was worried that it would upset her.”
Eli interjected. “Abram, try not to make that mistake. She’s a strong, healthy woman and she can determine for herself what she wants to hear.”
“That’s what she told me. We had a small, quiet discussion. Not an argument, though we did get...well, spirited. And, in the end, we decided the best thing to do is for me to ask her if she thinks she wants to hear something that is potentially disturbing, especially when it comes to taking care of Eleanor.”
“Hannah, how would you characterize that discussion?”
Hannah already knew what she wanted to say. “I agree with Abram. It was a spirited discussion. Healthy, even. We aired our beliefs without disrespecting each other. And, ya, we came to a decision. It felt...different. Like we’re both really trying to develop a healthier way of discussing issues that come up.”
Linda’s enthusiasm came out and she clapped with happiness. “Excellent! That’s the kind of progress we like to hear about!”
Eli, more grounded, nodded with a smile that faded. “Abram, Hannah, don’t make the mistake of thinking that because you tackled this one discussion without it becoming potentially violent, you’ve learned everything you need to learn. You will have setbacks. Especially, Abram, since you’re still dealing with what your uncle taught you. I don’t know if he intended to teach this to you or not, but he was very wrong.” After the meeting ended, Eli decided to visit Isaac to learn exactly which community his brother lived in. He’d decided he was going to pay a visit to the elders there.
ONE MORNING, WHILE Hannah was busy taking inventory of her baking ingredients, she heard Eleanor give out an odd cry. Hurrying out to her rocker, she was stunned to see the baby looking strained and red-faced. Again, the baby let out a strained cry. Soon, she was crying non-stop whether Hannah held her or laid her back in the rocker. Instinctively, Hannah ran her hand over the baby’s torso and belly and was dismayed to find Eleanor’s abdomen was rock hard. Also, the baby was grunting, as though she was trying to pass gas or have a bowel movement.
Hannah swiveled her head toward the front door, feeling grateful at an unexpected knock. She hurried, a wailing Eleanor in her arms, to answer. “Oh, Mamm, thank Gott you are here! Something’s wrong with the baby!”
Ruth took the baby and looked her over quickly. “She’s constipated. Let me see...” Ruth laid the baby on the sofa, then began gently rotating Eleanor’s legs. “We want to get her to pass a movement. If this doesn’t work, she may get relief from a warm bath. Do you have any fruit juice? Dilute it half and half in a bottle.”
Hannah did so, quickly. The bicycle-leg rotation didn’t work, so Ruth gave a warm bath to the baby. Although Eleanor did pass gas, she still didn’t have a bowel movement. After dressing her again, Ruth gave her the juice. “I’ll stay here for a while. If the juice works, she may have a messy diaper soon.”
After a few hours of intense discomfort, the baby finally had, as Ruth predicted, a messy movement. Ruth and Hannah spent several minutes removing soiled clothing and diapers from the baby, then bathed her once a
gain. Once Eleanor was dried and dressed, she was again comfortable and calm.
“Oh, Mamm, thank Gott you came here.”
Abram walked in as Hannah was speaking. “What happened?”
Ruth stayed silent, wanting Hannah to explain the issue.
“Eleanor got really constipated. She was straining, grunting and red in the face. She started crying and wouldn’t stop. Mamm came by just as I was trying to figure out what was wrong, and she gave me some tips. Now I know what works!”
Abram bent over, looking at the baby with concern. “And she’s okay? You’re sure?”
“Ya. She’s due for a feeding soon. Mamm, I’m going to start drinking fruit juice so Eleanor gets the benefit. Maybe this won’t happen again.”
“That’s a gut idea. Abram, are you okay with how we handled it?”
Abram looked from the now-serene infant to Hannah’s face. She was pale, probably from worrying about their child. “Ya, I am. Remedies work and you saved the baby from a long, bumpy ride to the doctor.”
“If you don’t mind, Abram, I want to stay here until Hannah has nursed the baby. Just to be sure that she’s not going to have the same problem again. Hannah, buy more apple juice and eat plenty of fruits so your milk helps stimulate Eleanor’s intestines. And ask the doctor about starting to give her water.”
After Hannah fed the baby and changed her again, Ruth was satisfied that the constipation issue was short-lived. “Daughter, if she takes a turn like that, start with the bicycle leg rolls, then a warm bath. That helps her belly to relax. And, if those don’t work, the diluted fruit juice will do the work for you every time.”
Amish Love Be Kind 3-Book Boxed Set Page 7
