She looked through the post that she had neglected before leaving for Tri-nant and opened one from Eric Green, Roy’s Probation Officer. It explained that if he received a non-custodial sentence, he intended to take a room with the parents of Miss Gillian Harris. Amanda put the letter on her desk intending to reply, but the following day, Monday, she telephoned instead.
She was angered by the tone of the man’s voice and wondered irritably what story Gillian had told.
‘You have inherited a house I understand, Miss Clifford, but have chosen to rent a single room so you are unable to accommodate your brother.’
‘That’s right. I can’t accommodate my brother. Every other time I have done so but this time I cannot, and, in case you’ve been misinformed, Mr Green, I do not take possession of my inherited cottage until next year!’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply—’
‘Oh, didn’t you! Well let me make this quite clear, Mr Green. I have given up expecting my brother to go straight and if Gillian thinks she can persuade him when I could not, she’s welcome to try.’
Temporary relief followed her firm replacement of the receiver but remorse quickly followed. She wouldn’t have abandoned Roy, she would have helped him as she had always done, apart from having him on the premises, but it had been spoilt by Gillian feeding him discontent like giving a baby milk and he had taken it willingly. Now, after all the years she had tried to support and help him, she had been painted blacker than black.
Taking out wrapping paper and string, she parcelled up the new clothes she had bought for Roy. New shirts, underwear, jumpers and two pairs of slacks. He was always glad to start afresh. His favourite shampoo, shaving cream and soap were the luxuries, helping to rid him of the scent of the place, making him feel human again. Childishly, she hoped Gillian hadn’t thought to do the same, as she wrote her brother’s name and addressed the parcel care of Gillian Harris, to await his next bout of freedom.
The rest of the holiday was spent in preparation for the new school and visiting friends, but there was no joy in any of it. Distressed at the thought of Roy’s disloyalty, and reminded of her loneliness, aware of the lack of someone with whom to discuss it, she constantly looked at the photograph of Rhys and wished the loneliness would end.
Two days before term began she went to see Catrin. She shouldn’t go too often, she knew that the more she went the more miserable she’d be at returning to her bedsit, but she determinedly hid her unhappiness. She did not want Catrin to know how she felt and become uncomfortable at staying on at Firethorn Cottage.
Philip was there when she walked in. He was fixing a plug to a table lamp.
‘Ah,’ he said, ‘just the young lady I want to see.’
‘Philip has news for you,’ Catrin smiled. ‘I think you’ll be pleased.’
‘About my family?’
Philip nodded. ‘It isn’t definite but I’ve heard rumours that a woman who lives about two miles from here is a possible cousin, God knows how many times removed. Probably too distant to be any use.’
‘I don’t care how distant!’
‘I’ll take you there if you like,’ he said, digging into a pocket and handing her a piece of paper bearing an address. ‘I know the place, a friend of mine lives near. That’s how I heard of her. This friend said her parents once lived in Tri-nant, although he didn’t think she had any relations left.’
‘What’s her name?’ Amanda asked excitedly.
‘I can’t remember. But,’ he warned, ‘I know it wasn’t Beynon.’
‘That doesn’t matter. She’s probably married and changed it.’ She hugged Philip and her eyes shone with the excitement of it.
‘Oh, this is very nice,’ Philip laughed, his arms wrapped around her as he swung her off her feet. ‘I’ll search even harder if this is my reward!’
Over his shoulder she saw Rhys enter the room and at once she rushed to show him the piece of paper. ‘Look, Rhys, Philip has found someone who might know my family. He’s offered to take me to find her, isn’t it wonderful?’
Rhys took the paper from her and nodded. ‘I know the place. I’ll take you tomorrow morning.’
‘Yes, that’s fine by me,’ Philip said with a shrug of dismissal as Amanda turned to see his reaction. ‘I’ll be working so I wouldn’t be able to go until the weekend.’
Amanda was surprised at the lack of ill will on Philip’s part. How could he tolerate Rhys’s rudeness without retaliating? She was extra-gushing with her thanks to Philip for finding the address, to compensate for Rhys’s ill manners.
‘Don’t expect too much, mind,’ Philip warned. ‘There’s nothing certain about it.’
When Philip had gone, Amanda showed by her attitude how angry Rhys had made her feel. He appeared not to notice and she was soon forced to abandon her attempt to make him feel ashamed. But she still wondered why a seemingly well-balanced man like Rhys could be so strong in his dislike of someone as well-intentioned as Philip.
Before she left Tri-nant that day, she went to see Heather James. If she were to be accepted as a friend she had to be honest. It was time to explain about her brother Roy.
‘I know I appear cruel refusing to give him a home when he comes out,’ she admitted, when they sat with a cup of tea and a flat slice of fatless sponge cake. ‘But I had decided not to take him in this time, even before I’d heard about the cottage being mine. I explained to Gillian that with my place to treat as home, he had no real incentive to get out and find a job and a room. I made it too easy. I thought she agreed, but he has charm, my wayward brother, I’ll give him that.’
‘I do understand and I’m sorry you have this problem,’ Heather said. Eyes cast down she added meekly, ‘I wouldn’t have had the strength to do what you did though. I would have given in under moral pressure. I admire you for doing what you did.’
‘And you don’t blame me?’
‘No. I wish I could be as determined,’ Heather admitted.
‘Don’t try and change. I think most would be glad for you to stay just as you are,’ Amanda smiled.
‘Oh, it’s nice being considered to be sweet and gentle,’ Heather said in a burst of confidence. ‘The helpless woman has a definite attraction. But being sweet and gentle can ruin lives you know, as much as criminal brothers can. Better to be firm and honest really, even if it makes a few enemies. Otherwise, you can ruin lives for others and yourself too.’
Amanda waited for Heather to explain, but she stood up as if regretting having spoken and said nothing more.
The following morning Amanda rose early, excited by the prospect of visiting the mysterious woman who might or might not be a relative. At nine o’clock she was ready to leave. The phone rang and it was Rhys telling her he was unable to take her.
‘Amanda, I’m sorry. I have to go back to take more footage. The stuff we’ve got isn’t good enough.’
‘It’s all right,’ she said, trying to sound unconcerned. ‘I can go on my own. Or with Philip,’ she added provocatively. ‘He’ll be free at the weekend.’
‘No. Wait for me to take you,’ he said firmly. Before she could argue or ask why, he finished the call.
Disappointment and frustration ruined her day. She sat and glared unseeingly into space and wondered why she wasn’t ignoring his demands and going on her own. Because you want him there to share it, she admitted sadly.
Leaving very early to drive to Mill Lane School for her first day, she left the car outside the cottage and called on Catrin.
‘Good luck, my dear. I’ll be out this afternoon, but come and have a snack with me at lunchtime, will you? And let me have your first impressions?’
At the school, a group of children were gathered, obviously waiting for her to appear. Helen and Jane stood near their mother and Helen waved excitedly, pleased to be the one to recognise the new teacher, important in her little group. Amanda waved back.
Shy little Jane stood beside her mother and Amanda went over and took her hand aft
er greeting Heather. ‘I’m glad you’re coming with me, Jane,’ she said. ‘Thank you for waiting for me.’
She saw the child’s face pucker and the mouth became a pout as tears threatened, but Amanda went on talking cheerfully and asked Jane to carry one of her bags. Soon, Amanda was moving away from Heather, Jane looking up at her with the beginnings of trust as they reached the classroom door. Each time Jane glanced back at her mother, Amanda coaxed her on.
While the children began to line up in the playground, Jane helped Amanda unpack her bag in the classroom.
‘We won’t be able to do this every day,’ Amanda explained, ‘but for today, I’m glad of your help.’
When Amanda had her children gathered around her to begin introductions, she was surprised when a glance out of the window showed Jane’s mother still waiting there alone, all the other parents having gone. She knew the child was anxious, but where did the anxiety stem from, the child or the mother? At lunchtime she discussed it with Catrin.
‘I suspect the need is in Heather more than Jane,’ she suggested.
‘It’s possible, dear. Very often the mother needs the child to want her so badly, she won’t allow the little one to leave.’
‘Have you come across similar cases?’ Amanda asked, aware of Catrin’s previous career.
‘Oh yes. There was a mother who had a four-year-old whom she still nursed in a blanket. She was persuaded to bring the child to a nursery class and was gratified when the child screamed and wanted her to stay. But when she was told the child settled happily within five minutes of her leaving, she didn’t bring him again. At five he was still treated like a baby, carried around and not allowed to run about. I was told the poor woman had lost her other children and her husband in an accident and was terrified of being left alone.’
‘Is there something in Heather’s experience to account for Jane being so clinging? Helen isn’t treated the same.’
‘Heather’s had her problems.’ Catrin wore a closed-up expression and, afraid of being thought too inquisitive, Amanda refrained from further questions.
She was relieved when the first day was over. She was more tired than usual, being anxious to learn the new routines and begin to know her class. Jane was her constant companion and she did not mind. It was a step in the right direction for her to attach herself to someone other than Heather. She learned from other teachers that the previous term had been spent with Jane just sitting in a corner on her own, firmly grasping a toy brought from home.
With Helen one side of her, a proprietory hand on her handbag strap, and Jane holding tightly to her other hand, Amanda walked out of the school gates.
She searched among the lively crowd for Heather and saw that Haydn was with her. Helen ran to them with a joyous shout. Jane let go of Amanda’s hand and burst into tears.
As Amanda approached them, her heart gave a skip when she saw Rhys was also with them.
‘Hello,’ he smiled. ‘I thought I’d come and see how your first day went.’
She was so pleased she almost hugged him as most of the children around her were hugging their parents. He took her heavy bag and they walked to the end of the road, where the group had to separate to go their respective ways. When they were alone, Amanda smiled up at him.
‘Thank you for coming to meet me. Catrin is out this afternoon and I didn’t relish walking out and driving straight home to my empty room.’
‘Do you have to go straight back?’ he asked, pulling her arm through his. ‘I thought we might have a snack and go to find this mysterious relative of yours.’
‘Oh, Rhys! Could we?’
‘We could try.’
‘I thought you’d be away for a few more days,’ she said as they reached the gate of the bungalow.
‘I should be, but I was afraid you’d become impatient and I didn’t want you looking for this person alone,’ he said. ‘The woman could be dishonest and try to diddle you out of your life savings, or she could insist that the cottage is really hers. I think you’ll have to tread very carefully.’
‘I hadn’t thought of anything like that,’ Amanda admitted solemnly.
They found the house without difficulty and Amanda’s fingers began to fiddle with her gloves and handbag as her nervousness mounted.
It was bitterly cold, the air harsh and still, as if pausing to decide whether or not to snow. She began to shiver as she waited in an agony of suspense while the door was unbolted and opened.
The woman who answered was young; in her early thirties, Amanda guessed, and very beautiful. But her expression stopped the question on her lips. The woman was staring at Rhys at first with disbelief then with undisguised delight.
‘Rhys! Darling! You’ve found me!’ she said in a high, childlike voice with a strong American accent.
Rhys stepped back and in a tight voice, said to Amanda, ‘There’s obviously been some mistake. This is Jessica Maybury, an actress. Jessica, meet a friend of mine, Amanda Clifford.’
Jessica did not hear his words. She didn’t acknowledge Amanda in any way. She was staring at Rhys, her beautiful blue eyes wide, her arms outstretched in a theatrical way and he backed further away.
‘But darling, Rhys. I don’t understand.’ She lunged elegantly forward and hugged him, moulding her body against his. ‘How did you find me?’ She reached up and kissed him firmly and with groans of pleasure, fully on the lips.
Amanda watched and knew for the first time the miseries of jealousy. The young woman was so lovely, her slim figure emphasised in a fitted dress that was clearly expensive. Her long, reddish-brown hair swung around her shoulders shining with health and expert grooming. Her eyes were closed in ecstatic pleasure and, even though she was not close, Amanda could see the long lashes, fallen on the perfect cheekbones.
She stood back as Rhys and the woman discussed their unexpected reunion. Wave after wave of dismay flooded her mind as she saw the companionship of Rhys being taken away from her.
She tried pretending it was the loss of a cousin that was responsible for her disappointment but knew it was this beautiful woman from Rhys’s past that was causing the real pain.
She forced herself to look at Rhys’s face as Jessica Maybury pressed her lovely face to his. Was it her hopeful imagination, or was Rhys less than pleased at the meeting?
Jessica invited them in for a drink, the invitation being waved at them both, but Amanda was ignored by the woman, who poured a whisky for Rhys.
‘Not for me,’ he said firmly. ‘I rarely drink during the day, you ought to know that.’
Jessica put down the drink and smiled at him.
‘Of course. How silly of me.’ She put her head on one side and smiled up at him through unbelievably long lashes. ‘Tell me, darling. How did you find me? Was it difficult to follow my trail?’
‘We came here looking for Amanda’s cousin,’ he explained. ‘I had no idea you were here. As far as I was aware you were still in America.’
‘I needed a vacation, you had talked about this area, so…’ she finished vaguely.
‘So you’re not the person who has roots here?’ Amanda put in, not wanting to sit any longer in embarrassed silence.
‘I’m American,’ Jessica replied tartly. She did not look at Amanda as she answered, her eyes never left Rhys. Amanda became more and more uncomfortable. She could hardly offer to go and leave them to talk as she had to wait for Rhys to drive her home. Besides, she thought rebelliously, I don’t want to leave them!
She felt dowdy and dull and quite unable to compete with the lovely creature, but something in Rhys’s face gave her hope. No, she would wait and see what Rhys said about her when they were alone.
‘I hope you enjoy your stay,’ Rhys said rather formally. He seemed ill at ease and Amanda presumed it was her presence at such a personal moment.
‘Perhaps we could go now, Rhys,’ she offered. ‘You could come back and talk to your friend later?’
Both people turned to look at her as if they had
forgotten she was there. Amanda walked to the door and stood, waiting for Rhys to join her. The atmosphere was stifling, and she knew she had to end this scene. Opening the door she stood in the freezing air wanting to run away and forget she had ever met Rhys. It was a long time before he joined her and her teeth were chattering with cold and misery.
When he at last came out, Jessica reached up and kissed him again, long and lovingly. Amanda refused to watch. If the kiss had been his idea she didn’t want to know.
‘What an amazing coincidence,’ she said brightly when they were once more in the car.
‘No coincidence,’ he said grimly. ‘Jessica doesn’t depend on such vagaries, she has the knack of making things happen.’
‘She couldn’t have known we’d call, surely?’
‘She knew I lived in the area. It was only a matter of time before she arranged for me to ‘find’ her.’
Amanda was confused and she waited for him to continue.
‘We met in America while I was filming a commercial for American television. It was for an animal sanctuary. I filmed some of the more unusual pets that had been rescued, and Jessica held the animals and looked glamorous.’
‘I see,’ Amanda said, although she did not.
‘When I left America she wanted to come with me. But our lives would never have mixed. I’m always travelling and so is she. What would have been the point of taking a brief relationship any further?’
‘It would have been difficult,’ Amanda murmured, hoping Rhys wouldn’t see how near to tears she was.
She couldn’t remember ever having been so depressed. She had begun to accept she was falling in love with him and here she was, listening to his confessions about his ex-love like a magazine agony aunt!
‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out,’ she said, thinking that at least she understood his unhappy American Christmas.
He stopped the car and turned to her, his face mysterious in the darkness. ‘I’m sorry too. Here I am talking about a fleeting attraction and not giving a thought to your disappointment.’
‘My disappointment?’ For a moment she couldn’t think what he meant, her mind was so full of his meeting with Jessica.
The Tangled Web Page 9
