In Another World With My Smartphone: Volume 1
Page 22
Except for that sword over there! ...Or so I thought, until I removed it from its scabbard only to find that the blade was broken. I don’t know what I expected.
I found a shield, too, but there was a huge crack in it. There were suits of plate armor as well, but they were bent out of shape in several places and couldn’t be worn anymore. There was a battle-axe still in comparatively good condition, but it was so rusty that it probably wasn’t worth much anymore.
The whole shed really had just been used as a storehouse for a bunch of old junk. An abnormal amount of it seemed to be weapons and armor, however. I briefly wondered if the former owner of the estate had been a knight or something along those lines. Then again, would a single knight really need so many different types of weapons and armor? It might’ve made sense if he were some kind of collector, but then why would they be in the junk shed...?
Clang.
“Hm?” Did I hear something just now...? I could still hear the demolition work going on outside, but I could’ve sworn I’d heard a noise coming from inside the shed. I looked around and listened carefully...
...Nothing. Must’ve been my imagination. I got back to work. I turned around and removed a cloth from a full-length mirror, and the reflection clearly showed the sight of a battle-axe aiming straight for my back, held aloft by a figure in full plate armor.
“Ah...?!” I managed to dodge the axe as it came thundering down with such tremendous force that it shattered the wooden floor at the figure’s feet into splinters. Holy shit...! That was too close. I could see a sort of black mist leaking of from between the gaps in the armor. This wasn’t the same inanimate suit of armor it was until a second ago.
With a sharp grinding creeeaaak, the armor turned to face me. Uh-oh, I felt like our gazes met just now...
“Whoa-hoh?!” Twisting my body to avoid a second attack from the axe, I threw myself out of the shed in a panic.
The armor came chasing after me with a noisy clank, clank, clank, swinging its axe around as though in the throes of a frenzied rage.
“Wh-What the hell is that?!”
“A m-monster?!”
“Are you kidding? Is that seriously... a Living Armor?!” The demolition crew saw the armor chasing me and let out terrified screams.
Living Armor?! Aren’t those monsters born from those who died and left behind heavy regrets?! I recalled what I’d read about them in the guild’s reference materials and clicked my tongue. Well, at least now I knew that it was an Undead-type monster like the Dullahan. Strictly speaking, the Living Armor was basically a lower class of monster than the Dullahan, though I still wasn’t confident that I could defeat one on my own... Well, either way, I had to try!
I recalled that Undead-type monsters were weak to Light-type magic.
“Strike true, Light! Sparkling Holy Lance: [Shining Javelin]!” I pointed my index finger and middle finger together in the Living Armor’s direction and shot out spears of light.
The spears violently tore the Living Armor apart at the waist, sending its upper and lower halves flying in opposite directions. The spears then continued on their trajectory and crashed magnificently into the side of the shed, dealing tremendous damage. Whoops...
Black mist leaked out from the upper and lower halves of the Living Armor, dissipating into the air. Did I get it?
“Hey, kid! The hell did you just do?!”
“I didn’t do anything! That thing just pounced on me out of the blue! What the heck’s a Living Armor doing in a place like this, anyway?! It’s not like this is a graveyard or a battlefield or anything!” It was said that Living Armors were born from the restless souls of the regretful dead. Because of that, they would only appear in places where such regrets were likely to accumulate. Places like old battlefields or run-down graveyards.
“No, it couldn’t be...”
“Sounds like you have some idea of where this thing came from.” The foreman shifted his gaze to the shattered armor, and it seemed like he had just remembered something.
“The former owner of this estate was a kind-hearted viscount. One day, that viscount was tricked by a corrupt count, and ended up having this estate stolen from him along with his entire fortune. The viscount fell into despair after that, and he and his entire family committed suicide... If his hatred of the count remains even now, then maybe...”
There’s no “maybes” or “couldn’t bes” about it, that’s clearly the only place a Living Armor could have come from! Which means what; the viscount’s hatred of the evil count was intense enough to spawn a Living Armor?! Living Armors were born from people’s negative emotions like regret or hatred, but they were completely separate beings from the dead that had produced those emotions in the first place. Such thoughts merely lingered in the world after death like the corpse of one’s past. It wasn’t fair for us to get attacked because of something some dumbass count had done a long time ago, but try explaining that to a corpse.
My thoughts came to an immediate halt as the foreman’s words sank in. Family suicide. If the whole family died full of regrets, then the number of Living Armors that would be born from that was...
Expecting nothing but bad news, my vision returned to the shed only to see another Living Armor already slowly shambling toward us. I knew it!
“Why does this always happen to me...? Hey, what if we offered up that corrupt count to the Living Armors, do you think they’d let us go...?”
“Afraid that’s not gonna be happening, kid. That same count was executed just recently... For high treason of all things. Count Balsa you goddamn slippery toad, I’d kill you again if I could! Now that I knew who’d caused this mess, I couldn’t help but sympathize with the poor viscount. Still, I had to clean this mess up one way or another.
Yet more Living Armors came tottering out of the shed. What was I supposed to do...? If I cast [Shining Javelin] again, it might just end up causing more damage to the surroundings...
I thought hard about what I could do in this situation... and then I remembered. I could use my [Enchant] spell to imbue my sword with some Light magic. I decided to try Healing magic, since that wouldn’t damage the surroundings at all.
“[Enchant]. Imbue with Light: [Cure Heal].” I enchanted my blade with Healing magic, then dodged an oncoming attack from a rusty lance and brought my sword down with enough force to sever the monster’s arm.
My sword cut through the Living Armor like a hot knife through butter, and its arm came flying off. Yes! It’s working! Wait, doesn’t that mean I can just cast [Cure Heal] on them without having to enchant my weapon? I thought about that for a second, but ultimately decided against it. Since [Cure Heal] needed an incantation to activate and only worked at close range anyway, it was quicker and easier to just imbue my sword with it and hack away.
Well, whatever. Right now I have to take care of this mess somehow. I took a battle stance as the remaining Living Armors came shambling toward me...
“What’s got you all worn out? Ho ho, lemme guess. You regretted turning down my offer and found a place yourself, right? So, how was it? Feeling refreshed? Because I know I am! Gahahaha.” There I was, collapsed in the wagon, without the energy left to even correct Simon’s mistaken assumptions.
I somehow managed to defeat all of the Living Armors, but I got chewed out later for smashing up the shed’s wall with my first attack. Since I protected everyone from the Living Armors, I wasn’t penalized at all, but I should’ve been able to calmly handle the situation more carefully than that. If nothing else, the whole ordeal had at least taught me how flexible enchanting really was. It could potentially be used to make all sorts of things.
[Enchant] could be used to either temporarily or permanently apply the effects of a different spell to an object of my choice. For example, I could pick up a random stick and enchant it with the [Light Sphere] spell to create a lightbulb...! Or so I thought until I noticed the fatal flaw in that plan. It would be extremely annoying to have a lightbulb that you c
ould never turn off. Besides, activating an enchanted item required a small amount of magic, too.
I’d enchanted my blade with [Cure Heal], so all I had to do in future was direct a little bit of my magic into it and it should become a powerful Anti-Undead weapon. At the very least, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to have a few such Enchanted items close at hand.
...One such item that sprung to mind was my Smartphone. Would [Enchant] work on it...?
“Alright, here we are! Dolan, Touya, this is your stop, the Silver Moon.” My musings were cut short as Barral called out my name. I got down sluggishly from the back of the wagon and helped unload the supplies Dolan had bought for the Silver Moon. It was mostly food supplies and daily necessities, but there were some barrels of alcohol mixed in there as well.
“Welcome back. Did you manage to spot any good deals?”
“M’back... Nah, about that, I couldn’t really find many good deals. Still, think I got enough to last us a while.”
“That so? I wonder if the capital’s seeing a recession, too, then.” Micah came to meet us as we unloaded the supplies. She waved goodbye to Barral and the others before helping us carry the goods inside.
Dang, I’m beat. I just wanna go to bed...
“You sure took your time getting back for what little you bought. I thought teleportation magic let you move between here and there instantly?”
“Huh? Oh, oh yeah, right, right, there was some stuff that we had trouble finding, y’see...”
“Hmm...” Micah pointed her sharp gaze at Dolan, who was not helping the situation by acting so clearly suspicious.
Apparently unable to bear it any longer, Dolan picked up a couple of drink barrels and carried them off to the storehouse out back. Didn’t he realize that only made him look even more suspicious...?
“So, Touya. Tell me about the girl you were out fooling around with today.”
“I wasn’t fooling around with anybody! I mean yeah, I was invited to go along, but I...” Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. I tried to plug up my big mouth as fast as I could, but the incriminating words had already been uttered. Micah flashed an evil-looking grin at me. I’ve been had!
“I knew it. I had a feeling that was what was going on. I mean, I do understand that my dad’s been lonely ever since my mother died, so I’m not going to chew him out for that or anything.” Wow... Mister Dolan, you’re a lucky man to have such an understanding daughter.
“...Now what I am about to chew him out for is going off spending the money for our inn’s important supplies and then trying to lie to me about it. Doesn’t he have any idea how much I’m trying to cut back on unnecessary expenses here? I feel like he needs a niiice long talking to, so I’ll see you later.” Micah wore the smile of an angel as she walked off after Dolan... with a large wooden pestle in hand, for whatever reason.
It wasn’t long before I heard a very loud, indescribably pathetic voice begging for forgiveness. There was nothing I could do for the man. He was reaping what he’d sown, and getting what was coming to him. I felt bad for poor old Dolan, but I was clocking in ahead of him.
Just as I was about to make my way up to my room, I noticed something poking out of Dolan’s bag on the countertop. It looked like some kind of leaflet. When I pulled it out to have a look, it turned out to be an advertising leaflet for one of the brothels in the capital. It listed each of the girls working there along with such details as their measurements and personalities. The naked illustrations of each girl were impressively realistic and fantastically arousing.
What’re you even thinking bringing this back here, old man...? You’d have been found out sooner or later even if I hadn’t said a thing if you were silly enough to bring the incriminating evidence home with you.
“Oh, Touya, you’re back.”
“Hmm? Oh, hey, Yumina. Hey everyone. Yeah I just got back a... minute... ago...” I have to hide this leaflet at all costs. Only after I reflexively threw my hand behind my back did I realize how unbelievably suspicious I had just made myself look. Too late to stop myself, I had to play it off somehow. I wanted to yell at myself for even thinking to hide it in the first place. It wasn’t even mine! But if I tried to explain that, there was no way anyone would believe me!
“...What’s with the pose, Touya?”
“NO, IT IS NOTHING AT ALL.”
“You’re drenched in sweat, you are.”
“I AM JUST EXHAUSTED. YES.”
“Why are you speaking... stiffly, like that?”
“THAT MUST BE YOUR IMAGINATION. HA HA HA.” Elze, Yae, and Linze took turns interrogating me as I walked backwards toward the stairs. All four of the girls stared at me, trying to work out what I was doing, but I couldn’t afford to let myself be caught here. I continued my backward march up the stairs.
“...For what conceivable reason are you walking up the stairs backwards, pray tell?”
“I-It’s just easier for me this way! Yeah! WELL — ahem — well then, I’m off to bed! Goodnight!”
“Eh? Wait, Touya?!” I dashed up the stairs at full speed. Backwards. What did I think I was, some kind of shellfish?!
“...Definitely a weirdo.”
“...Yes, a weird person.”
“He holds a queer character about him, indeed.”
“He may be weird, but he’s my prince charming.” I could hear the girls talking about something at the base of the stairs, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying exactly. Not caring in the slightest, I unlocked my room and made my way inside. Kohaku was curled up sleeping soundly on my bed.
I collapsed onto the bed next to the little tiger. Kohaku almost got up when I jolted the bed, but calmed down as soon as I started patting that fluffy little head.
Man, all I’d done was succeed in tiring myself out even more...
I didn’t even have the strength left to regret my actions. I was swallowed headfirst by the void of sleep, as I didn’t even bother to put up any resistance.
I slept in the next morning, so the girls all came to wake me up. They discovered the leaflet on the bedroom floor. In the end, I got interrogated for almost an hour over it anyway. I decided in my heart of hearts that I would never, ever go with those geezers on a guys-only trip to the capital ever again.
Afterword
Hello there, this is Patora Fuyuhara.
I’m not really used to appearing in the public(?) eye like this, so forgive me if I seem a touch nervouth. Whoops, bit my tongue there...
Er, well then, this work is an improved and revised version of a story I started working on back in 2013 for the “Shosetsuka ni Narou” website.
I originally began writing this story completely as a hobby, but I was able to get it physically published like this thanks to all of my readers. Really, thank you all for your support.
As I write this, I’m actually still worrying that the book will never actually make it to print, but, well, if you’re reading this, then that must mean my worries were misplaced... I hope they were.
In Another World With My Smartphone, or Isekai Smartphone for short, is a story set in a world like a large hotpot, into which the ingredient known as Touya is suddenly thrown one day. From there I added a little bit of seasoning, skimmed a bit off the top, had some people do some taste-testing to see if it was any good or not, got informed on things that I’d done wrong, and then like some blindfolded bring-your-own-ingredients food party this work... became increasingly difficult to compare to a hotpot.
Anyway, Hobby Japan really has guts to bring a blindfold-hotpot to the dinner table like this... But that’s just how I feel about it. I’ve already gone and made it now, though. All that’s left is to hope that this first volume was to the liking of anyone who read it. Did you enjoy it at all? I plan to continue adding more and more ingredients to this blindfold-hotpot from now on, too. Something like a spy maid and a goth-loli girl, for starters. If you enjoyed this volume, then please continue to support Isekai Smartphone from now on! Thank you so much, really.
Come to think of it, I’d just like to mention that, in keeping with the title of this series, I’ve written the whole story so far on my smartphone without relying on my PC at all, except for making backup copies, of course. I guess you could call my story “Patora Fuyuhara, In The Real World With My Smartphone.”
Personally I find I’m able to type much quicker on my phone than a keyboard, so this way is simply more convenient for me. Though sometimes I end up typing too fast and leaving a lot of typos behind, so checking for mistakes like that can eat a few hours away.
I do sometimes worry about accidentally dropping my phone or spilling water all over it, but thankfully I’ve managed to avoid any problems like that so far. Lately I’ve been thinking that I’d really like to get a newer model. I’m always using it for long periods of time, so the battery’s constantly on the verge of death...
My wrist and hand actually start to hurt a bit if I’ve been typing on my smartphone for too long, so sometimes I’ll even end up switching to typing left-handed. That’s what I’m doing right now, actually. Could you tell?
Another thing is that, when I’m writing stories on my smartphone, from an outside perspective it just looks like I’m constantly playing games on my phone all day, which is unfortunate.
I get the feeling I’d look a lot cooler sitting at a desk, typing up my stories while sipping coffee. I already know that wouldn’t really suit me, though.