Fuck. Leah was looking for Kim. I should’ve known she’d do that once I told her what happened. Leah wanted to make everything better. But the problem was, it wouldn’t make anything better. The last thing Leah needed to do was get caught in that web, and she was way closer than she ever should be. I dropped the phone back in her purse, not sure I could trust myself to do anything right now.
I wanted to see Jacob more than I wanted to breathe. But Kim would never have a change of heart. Even if she did, she’d have to explain to her son why she’d kept him from his father. Or who the hell this new guy was, claiming to be his father. I’d done nothing to earn the title of Dad. It wouldn’t go the way any of us wanted it to.
I wished I believed it would make anything better.
The sun had started to set, replicating the picture I’d found on Leah’s phone. I gripped the balcony railing tightly, letting the wind whip my hair in my face. I was mad at Leah for doing the same thing I just did. And for trying to fix what I couldn’t.
“I needed that nap,” she said when she joined me on the balcony. I hated myself for flinching when she put her arms around my waist. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t hear her come out. “Where did I bring you back from?”
Leah gasped when I turned to her. “Jagger, what’s wrong?” She’d put my T-shirt on, her hair was wild, and her makeup smudged from sleep.
“I don’t want you to try to find Kim,” I said as evenly as I could. Hearing the words come out of my mouth made them final. “No good can come of it.”
She shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”
I slipped out of her grasp. “Yeah, I do. It would be fucking selfish of me to waltz into Jacob’s life like I’m some sort of hero. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him.”
Leah closed the sliding glass door behind her. “He’ll never know that.”
The pain seared me in a place I’d long ignored. My heart. I’d still deny its existence if Leah hadn’t brought it back to life, and made it capable of skipping a beat again.
She paced in front of me, frowning and hesitating several times but never touching me. I wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. “How did you know I was looking for Kim?”
“I saw Kari’s message on your phone.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I wanted Shannon’s phone number.”
“You could’ve asked me for it.” Her voice was flat.
I sighed. “I wanted to surprise you. Which I know is what you were doing. I’m not mad—“
“Good thing.” Leah walked away from me and curled her legs underneath her on the chair. “Jagger, all I can think about is who is going to stand up for you at our wedding?” She gave me a chance to answer, but I didn’t have one. “Don’t say Zach.”
I chuckled, which only upset her more. “No, not Zach.”
“Then who? You have no contact with anyone in your family, and when I was trying to find Kim on the adult movie database, I realized I don’t even know your real name.”
Leah bowed her head, hugging herself as the first tears fell. I felt terrible for putting her through this. And as always, numb for myself, which was its own kind of pain.
I couldn’t run anymore. I tried to wipe her tears away but she shook her head. I cupped her chin, but she wouldn’t look at me.
“Georgios Jagger Mitchell Hatzidakis.” It had been a long time since I thought of myself as that person. Her face lit up and she attempted a wobbly smile. “I was named after my grandfather, but I’ve always gone by Jagger.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, accepting my kiss. She pushed my hair away from my face when we separated. “It doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I want you to be proud of who you are.”
“I am.” Now.
She took a deep breath. “Do you think your folks would come to the wedding?”
I shook my head.
Her body shuddered. I knew she thought if she kept knocking she’d make a breakthrough. But there was nothing there for her to find. “Do you want to get married?”
I startled. “What the hell kind of question is that?” She had no answer for me. “Of course I do. I haven’t had a chance to find a ring for you yet—“
“The last thing I’m worried about is a ring.” She got up on her knees so we were face to face. “You’ll find one, or something that’s completely unexpected and absolutely perfect. That’s what you do, and it’s why I love you. But I feel like this is dragging up some bad stuff for you.”
“No.” I grasped her hand, kissing every finger. I inhaled deeply, attempting to get high on her energy. “I want you. For the rest of my life. If a woman like you wants to be my wife, I’ve done something right.”
Now it was her turn to chuckle. “You’re doing so many things right. That’s what I keep trying to tell you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Leah
I stretched like I was about to run a marathon, or dodge zombies, or something. I’d waited until Jagger went to work to make the phone call. As much as I’d joked about Raven’s reaction to the news, the truth was, I was dreading it.
“How’s things?” I asked when she answered. “I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too.” The worst part was she sounded like she meant it. “It’s good. I have a lot of work to do. So many papers to write. It’s kind of ridiculous. I’m having fun, though.”
“Good. Still getting along with your roommate?”
“Yeah. She’s cool. We’re working on a game together.” Raven designed video games, which was so far over my head, anything she did impressed me. “We’ve come up with some badass characters. We’ve got the script written, and now we’re working on the graphics. I’m so excited about it.”
“You’ll have to show it to me when you come for Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah, right.” Raven laughed. She knew how hopeless I was when it came to that stuff. “How’s Miami?”
“Good. Shannon’s moving down here to work with me, and we actually have a client.” I took a deep breath. “And Jagger’s good. We’re having a baby.”
Silence.
“What?” She laughed nervously, like she was waiting for me to join in. “You couldn’t have said what I think you just did.”
“I did. I’m pregnant. You’ll have a new little brother or sister in late April.”
“This is . . . a big surprise.”
She wasn’t taking it as badly as I expected. Yet. “You were a surprise, too,” I said.
She sighed. “Ma, I’m in college now. What are you doing?”
And the conversation took a turn south. “I’m starting a new life, just like you are.”
“Does Auntie know?”
I laughed. “Yes. I took a picture of the pee stick and made her tell me what it said.”
“Ewww.” There was no other reaction for Raven. At least I was still fairly certain we wouldn’t have this conversation in reverse for a while.
“Hey, you asked. And she doesn’t approve, either.”
“It’s not that. It’s just . . . I don’t want to call you old, because you’re not, but you’ve already done this. You know what I’m saying? I’m shocked you’d want to start all over.”
“I know exactly what you’re saying. And I went through that, too. If you’d asked me before this all happened, I’d say hell no, I didn’t want to have another baby. But now that the choice was made for me, I want this. I can’t imagine wanting anything else.”
“Well, congratulations.” She didn’t sound convincing. “Do you know what you’re having?”
“No, not for another couple months.”
“Wow.”
Might as well go for broke while I had her stunned. “We’re getting married, too. Because that’s how I roll. I get pregnant and then I get married. My track record is flawless. I want you to walk me down the aisle, Raven. It’s just going to be a little thing, close friends and family. But I want you with me when I do it.”
More silence. “Okay.” I co
uldn’t imagine what was going through her head. She’d known all along that I was moving to Miami when she went to college, but this sealed the deal. My life wasn’t the same as she’d left it. I tried to put myself in her shoes. My parents had been together for almost fifty years, and they lived in the same house they brought me to from the hospital when I was born. If I got this call from my mother, I had no idea how I’d react. If my family, as I knew it, didn’t exist anymore.
“I mean it,” I said. “I want you with me every step of the way.”
**
“I think I found her,” Kari said when I answered the phone. “And she’s not that far from you.”
“Really?” I sat on a bench. Boston and DC had Design Centers, but Miami devoted an entire district to it. How I’d gone almost forty years without realizing I belonged in this city was beyond me. “What makes you think it’s her?”
All I’d given her was a bunch of stage names and birth dates that I’d found in the database. I picked the three that had worked with Jagger the most. There was another actress, too, but she’d passed away. I included her information as well, just in case.
“I can’t even tell you how I did this over the phone, since I accessed some databases that weren’t meant for me to be traipsing around in. Anyway, Roxie matched up to someone named Kimberly Crowe. Same birthday, and when I looked deeper, she filed federal tax returns with a Florida address around the same time Jagger was doing those movies. I followed the paper trail, and she soon after started to list a Jacob as a dependent.”
“Holy shit.” I was so glad I was sitting down. The information made me lightheaded. “Where is she now?”
“On the last tax return she filed, she listed an Orlando address. But there isn’t one for last year. It’s possible that it hasn’t populated the system yet, because we know how efficient these government sites are. It still seemed weird though, because she’s always filed. She’s has a different address almost every year, and different jobs, but they’re there.”
“I hope it just hasn’t gone through yet.” I was in shock. All this time Jagger tortured himself over his son and he was in the state. So close, yet so far away.
“Want me to give you the address?” she asked.
“Jagger found out I was looking for her. He saw your text, and asked me not to do it. He thinks it will do more harm than good. I see his point, but how can I not take the address? I mean, they’re right here.” The buildings around me spun as I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. I pulled my water bottle out of my bag and took a long swig. “I want to know that Jacob is okay. That’s all I need. I don’t want to interfere with his life.”
There was much more than that. I wondered if he looked like Jagger at all—his eyes, his smile, or his dark hair. Maybe he’d be wearing a shirt with his favorite band or team. I wanted to hear him laugh, just to know that he did it, and know one thing that he loved. Just in case Jagger was ever ready to know. I ran my hand over my belly, thinking about how I could pull this off.
“Yeah, me too.” Kari sighed. “I was shocked the story checked out. We’re both pretty well versed in psycho bitch behavior, but damn, my chin was hanging when you told me that story. If she’d treat Jagger like that, I worry about the little boy. She’s always listed him on her tax returns, which would make me think she’s had custody the whole time. That could be a good sign, that the state hasn’t seen the need to step in. Or, on the other hand, she’s a complete fraud.”
My blood ran cold at the thought. “Is she married?”
“She claims head of household on her taxes, so it’s hard to tell. Her name’s stayed the same on every return, but we both know that means nothing.”
Kimberly Crowe was elusive, even to the government. “Is there any way you can get information on Jacob?”
“Not really, I’d have to go digging in a few more places I don’t belong, and I’d be worried that I’d leave muddy footprints. Until he starts working, there would be no file on him in this database.” Kari waited for me to say something, but I had nothing. “Do you want me to come down there?”
“And do what?” I asked. She’d already done the legwork.
“We can take a road trip. Circle the block a few times. Hope we catch a glimpse of a healthy, happy little boy and call it a day.”
“That’s not weird at all.” I laughed. “But it is tempting.”
“Jagger might think differently once the baby comes. If he ever decides he’s ready to take the next step again, we can point him in the right direction. And if not, you know his son is okay. And if we find something that says otherwise, we make sure he’s okay. Think about it.”
I didn’t have to. “When can you be here?”
Chapter Sixteen
Jagger
“This looks incredible.” Leah’s face lit up when she came into the gallery. She wandered around the room, stopping to touch a table or a lamp, like she didn’t believe it was actually there. “You’re good at this.”
I’d moved all the furniture that Leah had her eye on from the consignment shop over to the gallery. Instead of cluttering the back room with it, I used the couches, tables, and chairs to set up seating areas near each installation. The smaller pieces, like lamps and vases, I put on the tables.
“Claudia helped me. Her vision is completely different than mine.”
“Feel free to change anything you want,” Claudia added. “I assumed you would. All three of us work so differently, I didn’t try to guess what you’d want. I just did my thing.”
“And I love it.” Leah sat in one of the chairs, wiggling her butt on the cushion and patting the arm in invitation for me to sit with her. She didn’t have to ask twice. “This is even better than I imagined. It’s different than anything else I’ve seen in the city. It’s almost interactive. I picture people coming in from outside, getting a feel for the furniture, and giving themselves a chance to appreciate the art like they would in the comfort of their own home. I hope it makes it easier for them to actually buy.”
It wasn’t that people didn’t appreciate the art displayed here. They told me they loved it. But art wasn’t cheap. I hated that part. Everyone had the opportunity to admire it in public, but for the chance to have a private moment with a piece, to be able to hear what it said when it whispered in their ear, came with a price. Art cost money to produce. It wasn’t just the time and the vision. It was getting there, doing the research, and having a way to deliver it. I had to find mentors in the community quickly, and they encouraged me to be bold with the pricing, even though no one knew me. Yet. They weren’t buying a photograph, they told me. They were buying the way I saw that particular image. And they couldn’t get that anywhere else.
“It still needs to be priced. I figured I’d leave that to the expert.” I picked up Leah’s fingers from where they rested on my thigh. She needed a ring. The conversation we had last week still echoed inside my soul. Did I want to be married? More than I’d wanted anything. But I was still trying to figure out a way to give Leah even a fraction of what she gave me. It was a daunting fucking task. She’d been open and fearless with her affection, and it was limitless. No other person had ever made me believe that was possible.
She curled her fingers around mine and squeezed, like she knew what I was thinking. “It’s been a while since I’ve worked in retail, but the beauty of owning the gallery is we can adjust things depending on how people react. If it sells too easily, we raise the prices. If we can’t move it, we go in the other direction. I want to keep the boutique feel, so no fire sales. As we sell through what we’ve got, I want to replace it with stock from some of my go-to designers. They aren’t cheap, and we’ll be selling at retail. We want to prime our customers for what’s to come.”
The gallery had been missing the magic of Leah’s vision and enthusiasm. I let Claudia challenge me on a regular basis. Not only because I was flying blind, but it was art. She had her perspective. Half the fun of it was seeing how she did something
completely different with the same stuff. I wanted her to be invested in her work. Right now, I could barely justify paying her, beside the fact I considered her a vital piece of my business and the future. But she was happy here. She’d been able to sell some of her pieces, and she’d liked the freedom I gave her.
I quickly learned I couldn’t do this on my own. This wasn’t how I envisioned my gallery. In contrast to my lonely, forgotten subjects, this was warm and inviting. It drew people in. We may not have Second Chances anymore, but it was a way to breathe new life into these abandoned properties. Make people think about what we’d left behind.
No, I couldn’t stop photographing them. I couldn’t let them be forgotten.
Leah gasped again when I brought her back to the office. I’d painted it the same steel gray that I used for the front room. It made the place look bigger, and I wanted it to be an extension of the gallery. I used some of the lamps from the consignment shop instead of harsh overhead light, and I’d set up a place for Leah to work and talk to clients. I had a little desk in the back, I didn’t need as much space as she did. At first I wasn’t sure about having my work area on display, but with the new set up of the gallery and the design studio, nothing else made any sense.
“I love this. You made it look like my office in DC.” She frowned before kissing me. “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to create the same way down here. Things feel different. I didn’t want to say anything, because it felt like I was admitting failure. How did you know?”
I accepted the kiss, sliding my hands into the back pockets of her jeans and squeezing her ass cheeks. Leah laughed against my lips, shooting up on her tiptoes at impact. “You like things that are familiar. Comfortable. That’s why you do what you do.”
“You’re a frigging genius,” she said as she pulled away, rubbing lipstick off my face. “Sometimes I wonder why it took us so long to find each other.”
“We weren’t ready yet.” I wondered if I would’ve appreciated Leah if I’d met her in college, before all the shit went down in my life. Or if I would’ve passed her by without a second thought.
Ties That Bind (The Escort, #3) Page 10
