razorsedge

by Lisanne Norman

  “You damned Aldatans are all the same. Never know when to give in. Stay, then, if that’s what you choose to do,” Kaid sighed, lying back on the bed. “But be damned sure it is what you want!”

  *

  If the first day had been hard work, the second was worse. Kaid drove him relentlessly till every muscle ached and he could hardly move. The training he’d done with him before was nothing compared to this.

  “You’ve got a lot to learn yet,” said Kaid, walking alongside him as they made their way to the gymnasium showers. “Before, I was teaching you how to protect yourself. Now I’m training you to be a Brother. It doesn’t just involve the advanced combat, you’ve got the paramedic training, too. Every Brother has to be able to treat his own and other people’s wounds and administer the necessary drugs under field combat conditions.”

  “Can’t we use knowledge transfers?” asked Kusac, limping into the nearest shower stall and reaching for a tap. “It’d save some time. I used it with you for the telepathy skills.”

  “We could, with the medical knowledge,” Kaid conceded, “but don’t think it means you’ll have an easier time, you won’t. Take a quick shower, no more. I’ll wait in the massage area for you. I want those muscles loosened up so you can work tomorrow.”

  Kusac groaned.

  *

  As he pushed open the door to the massage room, Kusac realized there was a small group of students gathered round one of the tables. Kaid moved away from it as he came in.

  “You’ve volunteered to be their victim,” he said with what Kusac recognized as the first attempt at humor he’d heard from him in the last two days. “Up you get,” he said, indicating the table that the students had backed away from. He turned his attention to the younglings. “Here’s your chance to see what it’s like to work on someone with sore muscles, someone who’s going to wriggle and moan wherever you touch him!”

  Nervous laughter greeted his remark as Kusac climbed reluctantly onto the table.

  Kaid, I don’t know that I can tolerate their touch!

  Then learn to block it. You’ll need to out in the field, was the short reply.

  With gritted teeth, Kusa submitted to their inexpert ministrations.

  Use the litanies. That’s what they’re for, Kaid reminded him as he flinched when one youth pressed too hard on a nerve in his back.

  I am!

  Later, as Kusac soaked the last of the stiffness away in a hot bath in their suite, Kaid came in. He squatted down at the side of the tub.

  “You won’t make me quit, you know,” said Kusac. “I don’t give up that easily.”

  “This is only the beginning,” said Kaid. “Tomorrow the real work starts.”

  Kusac was aware of Kaid gauging and assessing him with both mind and eyes. It was the first time he’d felt Kaid using his abilities: his mental touch was hard and uncompromising. He tensed, unsure what was coming next.

  “You’ve done better than I thought you would— so far,” he said. “It can’t be easy for you with your telepath’s background. I was sure you wouldn’t last out that massage. The students were more than a little clumsy.” The mental contact faded, then was gone.

  “Almost didn’t,” he admitted, relaxing a little.

  “Why are you here, Kusac? What do you want?”

  Kusac frowned, surprised at the question. “I told you. I want to get to know you as a person and a warrior. I want to work with you.”

  “Do you understand what you’re asking? Did someone explain it to you?”

  “Yes. I asked Master Rhyaz.”

  Kaid nodded, beginning to stand up. “Noni sent you, didn’t she?”

  “No one sent me,” said Kusac, suddenly feeling vulnerable. He sat upright, making the water surge around him as he did. He kept a wary eye on Kaid. “I chose to come.”

  Kaid lunged forward, his hand closing round Kusac’s throat in a crushing grip. His face was only inches away, teeth bared as he began to growl ominously.

  Fear flared inside Kusac, but he didn’t dare move. His hands clutched convulsively at the sides of the bath, knuckles whitening, claws extending till they hurt. If this attack was real, there was nothing he could do to defend himself. Had Kaid gone mad? Was he out of control?

  “Release me from my oath to you!” Kaid snarled, his hand tightening. “Give me back my freedom. No more Liege and liegeman. Then ask me!”

  Slowly Kusac tilted his head back, mind working furiously as he looked up into Kaid’s eyes. There was no color in them, only large circles of black. No Sholan easily tolerated being touched on the neck; it was too vulnerable to teeth and claws. Why had no one had warned him of this? That he had to ask, yes, but not this! What the hell was the response? Was there one? And his oath— was Kaid testing how strong his faith in him was?

  “I release you from your oath of allegiance, and I want to be paired with you,” he said, not knowing how else to put it, praying he’d got it right.

  “I think not.” The growl deepened and the claws began to prick his flesh.

  Kusac let out a single curse. “Goddammit! I want to be twinned with you! A swordbrother, like Garras was!”

  The grip lessened. “You think you know the cost, but you don’t,” Kaid growled. “No one ever does at first.”

  “I felt what it meant.” His throat was stretched too taut. “I’ll pay it.”

  Suddenly the pressure was gone, but as he let his head drop, he realized Kaid’s hand had remained where it was. His eyes, though, were still dark.

  “We’ll see. Maybe you won’t stay on the trail. Maybe it’ll be me that can’t pay the cost of any of it, including the oath to Vartra.” His hand gently kneaded the muscles on Kusac’s neck for a moment before he released him and turned away. “Don’t stay in too long. It’s almost time for third meal,” he said as he left the room.

  As the door slid closed behind him, Kusac gradually let go his grip on the bath. The encounter had left him badly shaken. He realized there was a lot about Kaid he didn’t know.

  *

  Later that night, Kusac woke suddenly. He lay there trying to work out what had disturbed him, then he sensed what it was. It was the silence. Mentally, he checked the room. Nothing. He was alone. Activating the night light, he threw back the covers and leaped to his feet. A quick touch on Kaid’s side of the bed confirmed it was cold: he’d been gone for some time.

  Cursing, he ran for the door, grabbing his robe as he went, hastily pulling it on while trying to sense where his friend had gone. Despite Kaid’s psychic damper, he found the faint mental pattern, but reaching him physically was another matter since he couldn’t yet find his way through the maze of corridors on his own. He had to find him and find him fast before someone, or something, got hurt. Switching off his own damper, in desperation he reached for Carrie, waiting impatiently for her to wake enough to answer him.

  I need to find Kaid. Join with me, he sent as soon as he felt their link strengthen.

  He’s on the lower levels, where Ghezu held him prisoner, she replied. The Gods help him! He’s reliving some of the memories, Kusac!

  Keep your distance, cub. Don’t let his crystal draw you in. Guide me there. Going over to a set of drawers, he scrabbled in the top one for the flashlight he’d seen there earlier in the day.

  Her directions led him past Lijou’s quarters to the other side of the main building to what had once been Ghezu’s office, and was now Rhyaz’s. A crack of light at the edge of the door showed it was slightly ajar. He pushed it open. At the far end was a small alcove that Carrie told him led down to the lower corridors.

  I’ll manage from here. Better that he doesn’t sense you around, cub.

  I want to know how he is. Her mental tone was determined.

  Tomorrow. I’ll be home early.

  Not soon enough. I’ll go if you promise to contact me later.

  I will. Now go before he senses you! he replied, switching on his flashlight as he pushed open the door and stepped int
o the dark opening.

  Cautiously he edged his way down the steep stairs. Beneath his feet, he could feel the uneven wear on the stone treads. This route was old and well used. At the bottom, the corridor opened out and, in the distance, he could see a pool of light spilling out from one of the rooms. Switching off the flashlight, he pushed it into his pocket and headed swiftly toward it.

  As he approached the door, he could feel the atmosphere around him darkening. He could sense Kaid’s presence. From within the room came the sound of faint voices. Kaid stood just inside, his back toward him. Beyond him stood three ghostly figures, the central of which was also Kaid. He was being held at the table by Zhaya while Ghezu forced his head up with a knife held to his throat.

  Instantly Kusac realized that Carrie had been right. What he was seeing was a projection of Kaid’s memories from his captivity and torture in these rooms.

  “I want those codes, Kaid, and I want them now.”

  The voice was faint and he had to strain to hear it.

  “You’ve had my answer. Go rot in hell, Ghezu.”

  Kaid’s voice seemed to come simultaneously from the person in front of him and the hazy image he was projecting. The anger and hate in the air, Kusac could have cut with a knife. He shuddered, unable to look away as he watched Kaid reliving the memory.

  Ghezu’s moves were almost too quick for his eye to follow. A flash of silver followed by the sound of the knife thudding into wood, then the room reeked of the metallic scent of freshly spilled blood. The ghostly Kaid yowled and began to collapse, but Ghezu reached out to grab him by the hair, hauling him upright again.

  “I told you it was real this time, Kaid. I will have those codes from you if I have to destroy you an inch at a time. Now, are you ready to talk yet, or shall I start on the next finger?”

  Kusac felt his friend’s fear fill the room, his soul-deep terror of being maimed seeping out to touch even him. Death was nothing compared to this, it was life Kaid feared. Transfixed, Kusac could do nothing as he experienced the other’s agony, and his fierce determination not to betray his friends. In front of him, Kaid’s shoulders began to slump and his ears disappeared from sight.

  “Hold him up,” the ghost-Ghezu ordered, pulling the knife out of the wood and flicking the severed finger to the floor.

  Zhaya obeyed, wrapping one arm around Kaid’s chest while continuing to hold his wrists down on the table with his other hand.

  “The codes,” Ghazu repeated. “I want the codes, Kaid.”

  Kaid’s chin was still lolling against his chest. Ghezu leaned forward. “I can’t hear you, Kaid. You aren’t going to lose your voice because of a little pain, are you?”

  “Go screw yourself,” came the faint reply.

  Ghezu pulled back and once more his knife flashed down, this time landing on Kaid’s hand with a dull cracking sound.

  Instinctively, Kusac winced as the ghostly Kaid jerked violently in Zhaya’s grasp, letting out another but weaker yowl of pain before collapsing against his captor. Gods, he knew what Ghezu had done to Kaid, but to actually see it!

  The scene wavered slightly, then steadied. As it did, Kusac realized that the miasma of fear was being pushed slowly back. He knew then what Kaid was doing.

  Ghezu grasped Kaid by the hair again, pulling his head back so he could see him. “What are the codes, Kaid? All you have to do is give them to me and all this will stop. Tell me the codes.”

  His face furrowed with pain, ears invisible against his skull, Kaid’s voice was barely audible. “Never.” Then his eyes flickered, and he began to slump lower within Zhaya’s grasp.

  In front of him, his friend staggered slightly as the images finally began to fade. As Kusac ran forward to help him, he caught a last glimpse of Ghezu angrily landing two more blows with his knife pommel on the unconscious Kaid’s hand.

  “Kaid, in the God’s name, let me help you,” he said, grabbing him firmly round the waist. Kaid resisted when Kusac tried to turn him toward the door.

  “No,” he said. “I need to sit for a moment.” He began walking toward the wooden chair that stood facing the desk. “I should have known it was impossible to keep you away,” he said. “I felt the crystal warming. You shouldn’t have come. I didn’t mean for you to see this.”

  “It wasn’t Carrie,” said Kusac, fetching the other chair and sitting down opposite him. “It was me. I woke and found you gone.”

  “You contacted her, though.” The tone was resigned.

  “I needed to find you before you did anything…” He stopped.

  Kaid’s mouth opened in a slow smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to try and destroy the temple again. You were right. It was a stupid thing to do.”

  “Being a telepath leaves you exposed to emotions, both your own and those of the people around you. You’re learning to cope with your feelings again,” said Kusac. “I know how difficult it is because after Carrie and I Linked, I had to learn a different way of coping with the violence within me.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Did you know you were projecting that memory?” Kusac asked.

  “I had to see it from outside of myself, to understand what happened to me. I needed to face the fear again, and control it.” The last was said quietly.

  “You did.” Again Kusac shuddered. “Anyone would have been afraid of that, Kaid. I don’t think I could have held out as long as you did.”

  Tiredly, Kaid stood up. “If you want to be a swordbrother, you’ll have to be that strong. It’s part of the price. Anyway, I found out what I needed to know. That memory won’t trouble me again.” He turned away and walked slowly toward the door, stopping to look back at Kusac. “Are you coming? I don’t know about you, but I want some coffee and something to eat.”

  “What did you need to find out?” asked Kusac, hurriedly getting to his feet.

  Kaid gave him an amused look before he switched out the light. “Work it out for yourself. It’s good training. When you know, come and tell me.”

  Chapter 7

  L’Seuli sat on the edge of the work counter, watching her as she looked through the viewing window at the Valtegan. There was a rapt look on her face as she followed his every movement.

  “They’re about to feed him,” he said, breaking the silence. “You don’t have to watch.”

  She turned to look at him, her gray eyes giving nothing away. “I need to know the worst, don’t I? How bad can it be? He’s got lousy table manners, so what?”

  L’Seuli pulled a pack of stim twigs from the pocket of his robe and offered her one. She hesitated, then, as he nodded and held it out closer to her, she accepted. As she turned back to the window, he said quietly, “He kills his own food— eats it raw, Keeza, for the fresh blood.”

  Her head flicked back to face him, a flash of fear in her eyes, then she turned away again. The feeding cage was opened from behind and a chiddoe thrust into it. It squeaked frantically, trying to claw its way back into the other room away from the scent of the alien predator.

  Kezule walked over to the cage, standing in front of it, blocking their view. As he reached into the cage and pulled it out, the terrified squeals of the chiddoe rose in volume to be cut off abruptly as he snapped its neck. L’Seuli noticed her flinch.

  Turning, the Valtegan made his way to the table and began meticulously to skin and gut the carcass. He took care to ensure that no blood was spilled before dismembering it.

  She watched it all with a terrible fascination— he could feel it, disgusting and attracting her at the same time.

  “Tell me about him.”

  “He’s a general, was in charge of a hatchery, guarding some of the wives of his Emperor.”

  “Why?”

  “Apparently the Emperor’s young need to be hatched on the world on which they’ll live. After laying their clutch, the females were to be shipped home and Kezule was to remain here with the young males and a small group of new females to start a new hatchery for them.”
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br />   “What kind of general is he?”

  “Ground Forces as far as we can gather.”

  “From that Human world, Keiss, was he?”

  “Yes. Keiss,” he said. There was no need for her to know more than was necessary.

  “What else?”

  “We don’t know that much about him, Keeza,” he said. “That’s why I picked you for this mission. You’ve gotten close to a pack leader, you can get close to him.”

  Her laugh sent a shiver down his spine. “Yeah, sure. He’s likely to be really interested in me as a female.”

  “Several Human females have done what you’re about to do, Keeza— spied on the Valtegans by getting close to them sexually. It’s up to you how you achieve that closeness, but they are sexually compatible with both the Humans and us.”

  “You mean up to him,” she muttered, watching as Kezule’s forked tongue flicked across his claws and fingers, licking off the blood that was seeping onto them from the piece of raw chiddoe in his hands.

  “Khaimoe said you did very well at her House,” he said gently. “You learned many things with her, not all of them of a sexual nature. If you wish to avoid a physical relationship with him, then use what you’ve learned.”

  Abruptly she turned away from the window. “I’ve seen enough. Let’s get this over with. Take me to your mind-warpers. The sooner I’m done with this place, the better.”

  L’Seuli stood up and went over to the door, waiting for her to join him. “You haven’t forgotten that we have to erase all memory of this from your mind before we send you in with him?”

  “I haven’t forgotten. Just you make damned sure that when it’s over, I get my memories back!”

  He reached out to take her by the chin, looking into her eyes as he spoke. “You have my word on it, Keeza Lassah. Your memories will be returned to you when this is over.” He let her go and palmed the lock.

  “I don’t want any memories of this,” she said hurriedly, indicating the cell on the other side of the viewing screen. “That I want to forget. And the pack time. Can they do that?”