Sonya grabbed my arm and gently started to maneuver me over to the chairs. Each step was like torture, like someone had a stuck a flaming Katana up my dick and into my bowels.
“I’m not going to make it,” I croaked, just as someone wheeled a wheelchair up behind me and pressed me back onto it.
I had always been a masculine man, but the high-pitched scream that came out of me would have made even my little niece sound like a baritone. Again, I could have been embarrassed, but the projectile puke that came out of me distracted everyone in the room from the screeching.
“We’ll take him straight on through. Doctor Adams is waiting.”
Doctor Adams? Oh fuck no. That guy used to be a boxer, he had hand’s the size of baseball gloves and was as gentle as a pissed off bear. And, he was a pissed off bear at me. I’d taken his daughter out on a date once and had gotten drunk because Ren had dared me to down ten shots of bourbon in a row. Not one to turn down a dare, I’d done it. This meant that I was drunk out of my mind and couldn’t remember who I’d brought to the bar with me that night. That wouldn’t have been so bad, if I hadn’t gone home with her cousin by mistake. That wasn’t something that I was proud of, and I’d apologized to Laura repeatedly, but Adams had held it against me since. In truth, I’d held it against myself too and still kicked my own ass for making her feel like shit and acting like such a dick. And now here I was, about to get my karma for my past fuck up.
My balls were done for!
Sonya
Sitting down on one of the waiting room chairs, which was designed to either make your ass into a square or render you immobile for the rest of your life, I watched as they wheeled an ashen faced Tom away – going around the poor guy who was now cleaning up the sick on the floor. He was mouthing something to me, but I couldn’t make it out. At first, I’d thought it might be ‘help me’, but then it started to look like ‘I pee’ and I was relieved that he still could. It was gross, and they’d better burn his pants once they took them off, but at least his dick still worked enough to do that.
“And what is the issue?” I heard the receptionist asking. Gramps looked like he wanted to throttle her, but Tony had a smirk on his face.
“Well, see – he wanted me to put it in, but we had no lube. I said no, because he’s old and we might not have a lot of time left together. If I use and abuse it, then I’m gonna lose it. Ya know?” the receptionist sat with her mouth open as Tony went on. “Plus, he’s got some of those butt grape things, age and gravity does that. In fact, only last year he had a nip tuck…”
“I will kill you,” Gramps growled, as he pinched Tony’s arm, making him scream. Turning to the receptionist, he snapped, “Bengay, okay?”
“No, sweetie. See, his mind is all addled, what with his age,” Tony interrupted. “I’m Tony.” He said slowly as he pointed to himself as he looked at Hurst. “To-nee.”
“Dead - fucking dead!” Gramps turned away and hobbled across the floor to me, just missing the small puddle of puke as he walked over it with his bowed legs.
Carefully sitting down beside me, he let out a whimper as his butt touched the seat. When Tony finished up at the desk, he walked over to us and took the chair the other side of me, smiling like this happened every day.
“Holy shit, they’re fucking black!” a voice bellowed from behind the closed door of the room that Tom had been wheeled into. All three of us winced and shuffled in our chairs, not making eye contact with any of the other people sitting around us who were looking at each other in confusion. “Your balls are the size of grapefruits. Nurse!”
There was a flurry of activity as Tom was quickly wheeled out of the room and down the hall. He was looking over his shoulder still mouthing ‘I pee’ and now I was worried that maybe he’d damaged his bladder and the pipes that came out of it and down his dick. I didn’t pay attention in biology, blood and stuff makes me squeamish, but I knew that that could happen. Why else would catheters have been invented?
When we’d been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes, with only the creaking of Gramps chair as he shifted around constantly like he had ants in his pants, I lost the battle with my curiosity and self-control and finally asked the million-dollar question.
“What did you do?”
Glaring over at Tony who’d snorted, Gramps muttered, “I bought a new porch swing, so I was hanging it up last night. It has some weird ass attachments, so I had to stand with one leg on the step ladder, and one braced against the wall.” This wasn’t sounding so bad. “I think I pulled something here,” he pointed to an area on his thigh, just below his groin.
When he didn’t go any further, I assumed that was it.
“Tell her what else you did,” Tony prompted.
“I used Bengay and it might have gone too far up,” he said under his breath.
“And it sounds like he’s allergic to it, so he’s got red balls to match Tom’s black ones,” Tony said through the wheezing laughs.
“It’s not funny,” Gramps hissed. He tried to lean forward, but any pressure against his injury must have been agony because he groaned and sat straight back. “It feels like I’ve dunked them in Napalm!”
“Linda says,” Tony ignored Gramps completely as he referred to the Townsend matriarch, “the Bengay had been there since he fell off a horse…in 1982. So, it probably is Napalm by now.”
Holy shit, his poor balls! Wait, I didn’t want to think about his balls, that was just wrong. Change the subject, change the subject.
Then inspiration hit me.
“Hey, what happened to Linda’s copy of Fifty Shades of Grey?”
Gramps head snapped around in my direction. “What’s it to ya? Did she ask? Oh shit, she knows, doesn’t she?”
He looked absolutely terrified at the prospect, which just piqued my curiosity even more.
“Tell the nice lady, Gramps,” Tony encouraged, laughing even harder now.
“She didn’t say a word to me, I promise!”
Scratching his head and turning redder than I’d ever seen anyone turn in my life, Gramps shifted minutely, groaning again, and then told me apparently one of the biggest Townsend secrets ever.
“I’d heard about it and got curious, so I took it to the lodge to read. After that, Art wanted to read it, so I said okay. Then Rick, then Mack, and a couple other guys. I don’t know who had it last, but it wasn’t…,” he broke off and blushed even deeper. Holy shit! “It wasn’t fit to touch, so I had to burn it.”
It took a couple of seconds for me to figure out what he meant.
“That’s disgusting,” I gagged.
Nodding, he held his hands up in front of him. “I had to bleach my hands and everything.”
“Why not just buy her another copy?” Tony started choking beside me while Gramps crossed his arms and refused to answer. “Do you want me to go order you one off Amazon?” I mean, if it helped, why not? I had Prime, so it would be here in a day.
Tony was now snorting, and his laughter was shaking the chairs, making Gramps groan even louder when his chair moved because of it.
“It was signed,” Tony spluttered. “Linda saw the author in a store, tackled her to the ground and made her sign it and write a message to her.”
Gramps gulped as I stared at him wide eyed. Oh, he was a dead man!
Chapter Six
Tom
After an ultrasound of my nuts and three hours of fuckery around my dick by a man with abnormally big hands who hated my guts, I had been sent home with painkillers and told to ice them. I now had a healthy respect for women giving birth and wanted to cry and hug every one of my family who had pushed a baby out and wrecked their vaginas. I’m pretty sure what I was going through was worse than that, but they’d be the ones who could sympathize with me the most.
After limping to my parent’s house to reassure mom that I was okay and that my junk hadn’t been booted into my brain, me and Sonya were walking back to mine where I was gonna pop pills like skittles and sit with
my legs widespread. This was just fucking torture!
Neither of us were talking at that moment, mostly because I still couldn’t do that and walk because I had to focus on moving my legs without skimming my sack, so it was a slow and quiet journey across the million miles to where my house was. Why had I chosen to live so far away?
We were just walking past my grandparent’s house, when Gramps called out, “Yo! How’s the dingle berries, boy?”
Sonya’s gasp made me stop so quickly, that my balls rattled around inside their bag, making my abdomen feel like it was gonna explode.
“Uh…whatcha got there, Hurst?” she called out, and I turned to see what she was talking about.
The old gimp was on his new porch swing, the same one that had been responsible for his own mishap. At least, I assumed it was a swing? It wasn’t like any of the ones I’d ever seen before - at least I think it wasn’t.
Slowly walking over to their steps, I looked a bit closer at it. It was attached to the ceiling with heavy weight chains and seemed to be made up of black strips of material that looped around and under him. He even had places to put his feet and could move them as far apart as he wanted – something which was probably a god send right now.
“Why does that look fam…,” then I remembered a porn movie I’d watched once and my bruised balls dropped. “Where the fuck did you get that? Do you know what it is?”
Sonya started giggling beside me, cluing me into the fact that she also knew what it was. Why did this have to happen in front of her today of all days?
“Well, me and Lindee wanted a new swing. The other one says for two people, but when it’s hot and the two of us are sitting on it, it’s like being rubbed against a sweaty hot wall,” Gramps waved his hands around, hitting the pieces of material that were hanging down, intended for him to put them into. “Ya know, your skin sticks together, the sweat gets worse…”
“Please stop,” I gagged at the mental image.
“Anyway, Tony recommended this site called Bon d’age, and with Brett’s Sabine being French and all, I was all for it.”
That made no sense at all. Nothing my family ever did made sense though.
“Why would being French have anything to do with that?” Sonya squeaked, sounding like she was suffocating from holding in her laughter.
“Duh! It means ‘good age’ in French. Bon is good and d’age must be of age or some shit. Anyway, it had all of this handy stuff on it, and I saw this swing and fell in love. You can put your legs in these thingy’s,” he waved his hand at the leg restraints. “And even better, you don’t get a sweaty crack because you can keep them as far apart as you want. My balls are loving it just now.”
I was gonna puke again, I could feel it. Then I really was going to die. Life wouldn’t be cruel and keep me breathing, I refused to believe it. Miracles happened, and right now I was praying for one.
As always, my luck was for shit, because gram walked out holding a leather paddle. “This is freaking awesome. I’ve hit every fly so far!”
“Told you,” Gramps crowed, and high-fived her. “We gotta go back on and get some more shit from that site. They had these plugs for bottle stoppers in every size of bottle, and you can pick whatever color you want! Hey, you wanna have a go on this? I can push you from the front and the back! Just keep your legs open and I’ll stand between them if you want it from the front.”
Scrubbing my hands down my face, I started to hobble back to my house not looking to see if Sonya was following or not. With any luck, a sink hole would open up between here and there and I’d fall to my death.
****
It had been ten days since ‘ball-gate’, and at one point I’d thought that they were going to explode – in fact, I’d prayed for it. The pressure had been overwhelming and even breathing had hurt them. I used to laugh at the cartoons when they’d drop something on their foot, or slam their fingers in something, and it would go red and throb. Now, I knew how that felt, except it was much higher up and had turned black.
I still couldn’t understand how such a fucking massive rock had found its way into that field, and then had hidden in the grass just waiting for my ATV to go over it and for the underside to hit it and projectile me forward into the gas tank in front of me. Most people probably would have been thrown over the handle bars to land on the softer cushion of the tall grass, but not me. Oh no, my huevos had been scrambled as they took the full force of my body weight going forward. I was never eating eggs again. The thought of the shells cracking open was too close to home for me.
I’d just woken up and was walking as quietly as I could around the sleep freak. I was going to do my morning ritual in the bathroom – which now included a check to make sure that Russell the love muscle and his two neighbors hadn’t fallen off through the night. Logically, I knew that it wouldn’t happen, but then I thought about the babies of my family’s umbilical cords when they were brought home. Lifting up Louis and this dried and shriveled thing falling off him onto my leg scarred a man for life. It had just been me and Cole when it had happened, two people who knew jack shit about stuff like that, and he’d been adamant that it was his son’s dick. Neither of us wanted to be the one to confirm it by opening his diaper, but I’d lost the paper – scissor – stone - lizard - Spock game and had to do it. When we couldn’t figure out where the lump had actually come from, because the kids junk all seemed to be in place, we’d called mom who had explained it. The mental replay of what it looked like was impossible to forget, and every night since my accident, I’d had a nightmare about the same thing happening and it actually being my cock. That sort of shit makes you paranoid!
I’d just looked down and was breathing a sigh of relief when the bathroom door opened, and Sonya stood in the doorway glaring at me – at least, I think she was glaring. Her eyes were barely open, so it was hard to tell.
“Do you have to sound like a tsunami when you piss?” she snapped.
Some might think that I needed my head checked, again, but at that moment, the penis hiatus hit me. Quickly washing and drying my hands, I stalked toward her, lunged and flung her over my shoulder praying that she wouldn’t kick my dick and the poor abused twins who’d all apparently now recovered from their trauma.
“I will kill you,” she growled, and then bit into my ass through my boxers as I walked toward the bed.
“Game on, pretty girl!”
****
Sonya
All I’d intended on doing was killing him for the sounds of a jet taking off that were coming from the bathroom as he peed. The next thing, I was rudely flung over his shoulder and then he threw me onto the bed – before I’d even had coffee. So now, I would have to kill him twice.
I opened my mouth to do the kind thing and let him know that he was about to spend his last moments breathing, when the bulge in his boxers caught my attention. By the beard of Zeus, it was huge and, from the looks of it, still growing.
“I want to do this nicely,” he rasped. “But if you keep on looking at it, I won’t be able to do that.”
Raising my eyes to his to tell him to fuck the nicely, I noticed for the first time that he had tattoos all over his chest. How hadn’t I seen these before?
“Oh shit, you have ink!” It had always been a weakness of mine, but I was too much of a pussy to go and get one myself. Also, I was indecisive and could never choose what I wanted to have put on me for life. Then there was the small matter of hating needles…why was I thinking about this shit right now? “Why am I just seeing these?”
Shrugging, he scratched the back of his head looking somewhat embarrassed. “We were a bit drunk the last time.”
Truly taking in everything that was Thomas Townsend for the first time, I realized quite a few things. This man really was a great guy. His expression at that moment showed that he regretted neither of us being able to remember the last time we’d been naked in bed together, and that he felt guilty for it. He also wasn’t the confident guy that he tried to
make out to the world that he was. In fact, right now, he looked self-conscious. He was also holding on by a fine thread, but I wanted to snap it – so I did.
Lunging up, I grabbed the waistband of his boxers and yanked them down, getting hit in the nose by his cock as it embraced its freedom. His groan as it made contact made me pull back slightly to check that it wasn’t a painful instead of a pleasurable one, but the hand in my hair quickly assured me that it wasn’t.
Running my tongue softly over the tip, I licked away the little bead of moisture that was there pulling another groan from him.
Until Tom, Finding Forever (Providence Book 5) Page 7
