Seeing my mother opened up a well of emotions I’d thought closed. And her obscure parting words left a cold river of dread in the pit of my stomach. Was she trying to prove a point about bonding by attacking me through Lo? What did she mean when she said that Cano was breaking me? Breaking my spirit? My willpower?
My head is drowning beneath the weight of a thousand questions. And then there’s the fact that she has zero allegiance to me. When I came of age, all the Aquarathi in my kingdom were bound to me as their queen. Only she wasn’t, which means Soren was right—the only way my mother could cut ties with me is if she, too, has somehow been genetically altered, just like Ehmora. Maybe I wasn’t so far off when I told Jenna my suspicions about the existence of other hybrids like Lo. Or I could just be paranoid.
I sigh. It’s hard not to be paranoid after my mother’s cryptic words. On top of that, the fact that she and Cano are so close is driving me crazy. I had to hold myself back from diving into the water and following my mother the minute she left. But of course, it would have served little purpose. She’s far too smart for that. So I let her go, and I didn’t follow.
I pull the brush through the gold snarls of my hair and secure it with an elastic band before tugging on my Dover Prep uniform. The last thing on my mind right now is school, but of course, keeping an eye on Lo is still part of the plan, more so now after my mother’s ambiguous words. The only silver lining out of that conversation was the confirmation that there is indeed a way to reverse what they did to Lo. I vow to find it even if it kills me...and before it kills Lo. That’s the thing about toxins—they don’t care who engineered them. Once they inhabit a host, their sole aim is to take over, to mutate, to rot.
With a deep, cleansing breath, I walk into the kitchen and toss a couple pieces of sashimi off the breakfast island into my mouth. Everything is eerily still. I chew slowly and swallow. The room isn’t empty, but with the heavy silence, it could well be. Speio is staring into a half-eaten bowl of food, Echlios is eyeing me warily above the edge of his newspaper and Soren is busy at the sink scrubbing the bottom layer of Teflon out of a pot. They’re all making a concerted effort not to antagonize the beast in their midst...in this case, me.
“What?” I say out loud, exasperated. “I’m not going to fly off the deep end or anything.”
“Are you okay?” Echlios asks slowly, placing his paper to the side on the table.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I say. “I saw Neriah.” I don’t miss the exchange of looks at the use of my mother’s name. I’m sure Soren already told them what happened, but I summarize, anyway. “She says there’s a cure. She’s not bound to me. They drew me here to destabilize Waterfell. And they’re still moving forward with Ehmora’s grand master plan to have the hybrids take over the earth.” I pause, meeting Echlios’s eyes. “And I’m sorry for calling out to her, even though you asked me not to. I couldn’t wait anymore, without knowing whether Lo had a chance or not. Now that I know there’s a cure, I’m not going to stop until I find it. Or Cano. He’s going to pay for what he has done to Lo.”
“Agreed,” Echlios says softly. “You do not need to apologize to me, my queen.”
“Yes, I do. I gave you my word and then I broke your trust.”
“As you say,” he murmurs, bowing his head.
“Any news on your end?” I ask.
“We’re getting closer. Our contacts in the local police department are tracking a cell phone that we believe to be his. He’s also been picked up on several security cameras near the school, so he’s definitely in the area.”
“What about Rancho Santa Fe?” I ask.
That was both his and Ehmora’s previous neighborhood. I was surprised to discover, months before, that they had been neighbors. But once we realized how they were connected—Cano’s brilliant bioengineering background, my mother’s cross-species DNA research and Ehmora’s genes—it all made sense. They engineered Lo, as well as many other imperfect specimens before him, one of which I had the horror of meeting in a head-on collision last spring. More beast than man, it was terrifying. I suppress a shiver at the memory—the thought of others like that one out there watching me is not a pleasant one.
“No. Both houses appear to be empty. Nothing on surveillance,” Echlios says. “But we’re close.”
“Good. Because I have a plan.”
“What’s that?” Echlios and Soren ask at the same time. Even Speio looks up, his spoon paused halfway to his mouth. He’s been awfully quiet the last few days. Normally he’s on me like a shadow. I smile, remembering that Lo used to call him my warden. But now he seems preoccupied. My smile turns into a frown. The last time Speio was preoccupied, he fell prey to my mother’s gilded promises of a better life and served me up on a silver platter to her. I make a mental note to talk to him later...see where his mind is.
Pondering the course of action with respect to my new plan, I answer Soren’s question with a question of my own. “What’s the latest update from the psychotherapist on Lo’s status? Any progress?”
“Unchanged,” Soren says. “He has gaps in his memory. He remembers certain things quite clearly, but for others, it’s a completely blank slate. Including everything Aquarathi.” Soren has been tasked with accompanying Lo to these sessions by my order. I don’t trust not having eyes and ears on him at all times, on the off chance that he’ll remember something important. Or that he will remember something and try to shift into a terrifying alien form in front of people. That could cause instant chaos.
“What’s your thinking?” Echlios asks.
I shrug and exhale in a rush. “I think we should try hypnosis, and then a glimmer.” Turns out that Jenna’s idea of hypnotizing Lo is nothing short of brilliant.
Soren’s gasp is muffled. “Too dangerous.”
“We’ll do it in a controlled environment.” I glance at Echlios. “With guards. With all the necessary precautions.”
“Why?” Echlios asks, exchanging another look with Soren, this one quelling. He’s willing to listen, which is more than I hoped for. I can guess how risky this option will be, especially if it triggers something inside Lo—something that only he can control. If he can’t get his mind around the physical expression of himself, the consequences could be bad...as in say-goodbye-to-your-sanity bad.
Shaking my head, I rush forward with my idea before I change my mind. “There’s something missing,” I say. “All along, I kept thinking that this whole thing was human related, but something just didn’t seem to fit. Remember what you told me about Lo having dissociative memory disorder?”
Echlios nods, frowning. “Go on.”
“Well, I know it’s possible because he’s part human, but what if the toxin part wasn’t just to draw me back here? I mean, I’m not naive enough to think that they wouldn’t want to strike at me where I’m most vulnerable, but they didn’t have to inhibit Lo’s memories to do that. They could have done almost anything to get me here.” I know I’m rambling because I can see the confused expressions on each of their faces. I hasten to get the rest out before I lose my train of thought. “They could have hurt Jenna, but they chose Lo instead. It was baffling me as to why they would hurt the one thing they had going for them, even if Ehmora thought Lo disposable.” I glance at them in turn. “So why?”
“You think there’s something more?” Soren says.
I nod, mulling over the idea and feeling it take form. “Yes. I think they’re hiding something. Something that Lo knows. Something big. Maybe the real reason Cano wanted me out here.”
“Something that they don’t want us to find out.” That last statement is from Speio.
“Correct,” I say. “And they want me here for whatever it is they’re planning. But that whole biotoxin memory-loss thing isn’t to hurt Lo—it’s something they want to use against us...against me.” I meet Echlios’s eyes. “My mother talked about
Cano breaking me. They want me to feel like everything is lost, to lose hope, so I don’t see the bigger picture.” I swallow hard. “Which is that Lo knows something. We have to find out what that is, and if hypnosis is what it takes, then that’s what we have to do.”
“It’s too risky, Nerissa,” Soren murmurs.
“Trust me, I know.” I sigh. She’s right. A lot of who we are depends on mental muscle—to hold our human form takes deep concentration and unshakable willpower. With the hybrids, it’s a little different because they are both human and Aquarathi, but the same mental strength is required; otherwise they’d be shifting back and forth between forms at a thought. If we mess with the mind’s ability to preserve different parts of itself, we open ourselves up to a world of volatility. “But we don’t have a better choice.”
“When do we do it?” Speio asks.
I glance at him. “Today, after school. The sooner the better.” I turn to Soren, who still looks apprehensive. “This session will have to happen here or at the Marine Center, to be safe. We need a contained saltwater pool or tank in case he shifts. And we need guards, lots of them.” If Lo morphs into Aquarathi form, he will be strong, especially because of his union with me. The connection between us is a two-way street, meaning that he can take as much strength as he needs from me just as I can from him. The bond transcends my royal blood. I can see the worry pooling in Soren’s eyes...and fear for my safety. I embrace her before leaving for school, resting my forehead in the crook of her neck.
“It will be all right,” I murmur against her human skin. “Lo won’t hurt me. Don’t worry.”
She doesn’t believe me, but squeezes tightly. “My water is yours.”
In the car on the way to school with Speio, I stay mostly silent and stare out the window. Despite my brave words to Soren, the doubt remains with me like a noxious cloud. The truth is, Lo isn’t the same boy. He’s different now. Even when we made out on the beach—the passion was there, but that had never been something missing between us. We’ve always had a strong physical connection...an undeniable chemistry drawing us together.
I’d wanted to believe so badly that he remembered me that I overlooked what was so glaringly obvious. Physically, we are more than compatible and connected by a bond older than time, but emotionally, we are nothing more than strangers. The truth is hard to swallow. Perhaps that is why I want to try the hypnosis so badly—I want to reach him somehow. Go deeper past the human side of him...the part that’s letting go of me.
“You okay?” Speio asks me in a quiet voice as we pull into the parking lot.
“Fine.”
“I’m here if you need to talk,” he says, fiddling with the car keys between nervous fingers and pocketing them.
“About what? Whether Lo will ever remember who I am?”
“Riss—”
I turn to face him, my voice stony to cover its trembling tenor. “What are you going to tell me, Speio? That we should give up? Go back to Waterfell? Forget Lo ever existed? That I’m stupid for believing some part of him still knows who I am? Who he is?”
“No, of course not.”
I bite my lip hard, my eyes stinging as I try to stop my voice from shaking. “I already know all those things. I know there’s a chance that he’s lost to us forever, but I also have to believe there’s a chance that he’s not.” My voice does break then, into a half sob. “Or I’ll break.”
“You’re not going to break.” Speio’s hand flutters over to rest on my knee in the passenger seat. “Just hang on, Riss. He’ll be all right, you’ll see. How can he not?” he says.
“How do you know?”
“He has you.”
My voice catches. “He doesn’t even know who I am.”
“Then make him remember.” He chucks me under the chin with a grin. “And stop sniveling. Reminds me of the old you—all scared and pompous and totally lame—crying all the time about Dvija and bonding, and making moony eyes over some human boy.”
I stare at him, but the twinkle in his eye almost makes me smile back. Almost. I swipe at the tears on my face. “I did nothing of the sort,” I mutter, flushing.
Speio makes smooch faces with his hands, pretending he’s air-kissing someone, and rolls his eyes. “You managed to get him then, and you weren’t even half of who you are now. So he had to like something.”
“He wanted me to like him,” I remind Speio. “He was tasked with trying to make me fall for him, remember? Now it’s the reverse. I feel like I have to do cartwheels in a gold-spangled bikini just to get his attention.”
Speio shoots me a wicked sidelong glance. “You don’t own any bikinis?”
“I’m not Cara,” I snort, just as she catches my eye from the top of the school stairs. I envy the easy smile on her face and the attention of the boy who’s leaning against the wall with one foot propped up behind him. Lo laughs at something she says and slings his backpack over his shoulder. His sandy hair is choppy, and even from this distance, I can tell that it’s still damp from an early-morning surf session. My breath turns solid in my throat.
Speio follows my gaze, his expression sliding from teasing to sympathetic. “Cara’s got nothing on you, Riss.”
I drag my eyes away. “Speaking of your ex-girlfriend, what’s she saying about the whole thing?”
“For the last time, she’s not my ex,” Speio groans. “She likes Lo. Always has. Always will. With you temporarily out of the picture, Cara wants what Cara wants.” He grabs my shoulders. “Look, sometimes you have to make the effort to put yourself out there. It was easy for you last year. Lo wanted you to fall for him. It’s just as simple for you to turn around and do the same. The humans want to be chased. They want the pursuit.” Speio’s eyes are fierce. “He belongs to you, Nerissa. Defend what’s yours.”
“And what makes you such an expert on human love?”
To my surprise, Speio blushes a deep shade of red before mumbling something about being late for class, nearly falling out of the Jeep in his haste to get out. Happy to steer the conversation away from me, I leap out and glue myself to his side, fascinated.
“So, your theory? It’s based on personal experience?”
“No.”
“Why so secretive? Thought we share everything.”
“Nothing to share.”
Just then, a voice yells out for us to wait up, and I have the distinct sensation of every drop of water in Speio’s body tensing up in response. He turns helpless eyes in my direction just as Rian Thorn catches up to us at the top of the stairs, her chest heaving with the exertion of running. Her hair is tousled and her eyes are bright. She puts a hand on Speio’s arm, and I can feel the pressure of his heartbeat pushing against me through the water in the air. I swallow, closing off the open connection between us. I’d forgotten how that had felt—the excitement, the rush of first love, the weightlessness.
Oh.
“Did you get my text?” she asks Speio, kissing his cheek. “About tonight? I have a thing with my dad. But tomorrow, I’m free. Rain check?”
“Sure,” Speio mumbles, his color heightened with embarrassment. I meet his eyes, and incline my head in subtle approval.
“Hi, Nerissa,” Rian says, turning to me with an unaffected, bright smile.
“Hey.”
I smile back and quicken my stride so I’m a few feet ahead of them. While I have no intention on letting up on Speio, I don’t want to embarrass Rian. Glancing over my shoulder, I can see why she’s caught his interest. Not just a pretty face—there’s something intense in her eyes, along with a deep intelligence and sharp humor. I like her, too.
Inside, I head for my locker, walking past Cara, Lo and the rest of their group without making eye contact with anyone, despite the outward rush of breath at Lo’s nearness. Every part of my body is reaching toward his with impossible forc
e. I resist, chewing at the inside of my lip until I feel my salty blood coating my teeth.
“Wow, that looked intense,” Jenna says, standing at the locker next to mine. Her hair is tied back into a high ponytail, making her look like an eighties rocker. She sees my look and shrugs. “Didn’t have time to shower after practice this morning.” She nods down the hallway. “So, new strategy? Is it working?”
“Is he looking?” I shoot back.
“Yes.”
“Then it’s working.”
“Playing hard to get,” she says. “I like it.”
I slam my locker shut, grabbing my French books. “Speio’s idea, believe it or not.”
“Speaking of, I notice he’s getting really close with the new girl. She seems nice, not pretentious like some people we know,” she says with a pointed glance at the people near Lo. “Did she check out?” she asks in a low whisper. “What if she’s a hybrid?”
I nod. I can understand why Jenna’s suspicious. She knows exactly what is at stake. We have to be careful of everyone—new and old. We can’t trust anyone, not even those we know as allies. Everything has changed. “Don’t worry—she’s not. Echlios has some special scent thing they developed off the old hybrids. My guard cleared her.”
Her eyes shoot into her hairline. “Your guard?”
“Royal guard.” I wave a nonchalant hand, cringing inwardly as we walk to our classroom. “You can’t see them, but they’re here. Watching.”
“Wow.”
“Comes with the territory,” I say. “Especially with all the silent spies we can’t see lurking around. They’re here for my protection. Echlios insists on it.”
Jenna’s eyes grow as round as saucers as she peers down the hallway. “This is some serious Princess Diaries shit.”
“You have no idea,” I say with an exaggerated eye roll. “The Aquarathi Secret Service. Seriously, I have ASS watching my back.”
Jenna giggles. “So, do these supersecret ninja guards look like us? I mean, like other kids?”
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