by C. B. Stagg
“You act as if you don’t plan on seeing me again,” I replied with what I hoped was an indignant, yet sexy look. “According to the email that you, Mister Casey Clark, sent to me, we have practice again on Thursday afternoon. That’s just two days from now, true?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, continuing before I lost my nerve. “And our first game is a week from Saturday, isn’t that also correct?” My voice was strong and confident. I was proud.
He stood still, watching me as I stood before him, growing taller with every word I said to him. He cocked his head, and his eyes narrowed in on me. “I wasn’t sure you’d be back. Guess I’ll see you in a few days.” He looked me up and down with something brewing in his eyes I wasn’t yet ready to put a label on. “And get some cleats.”
With a shrug, he turned and walked to the parking lot without a backward glance.
2-Casey
KARMA IS A BITCH.
What was Becky thinking sending that sassy little girl to me? Damn that meddling woman, always putting her nose where it doesn’t belong.
I wasn’t a fan of games, and I liked drama even less. Becky had been my best friend for almost half of my life, and she never did anything without a purpose. But figuring out that woman’s reasoning behind this move was about as easy as getting rid of herpes. And, of course, when I tried to call her, it conveniently went to voicemail.
This week had already been one ray of sunshine after another. I’d spent the better part of the morning assuring the higher ups at work that all fields would be ready for all of the youth sports that started this week. Personally walking and inspecting almost fifty fields was exhausting, but I was the turf specialist. It was my job. From there I had soccer practice, and as soon as that was over, I was meeting with Jase, my other best friend, but it wasn’t a social visit. Jase, like his mother and grandfather, was an attorney and I’d recently acquired his services on a personal matter.
Jase, Becky, and I all lived within 500 feet of each other growing up. We were often referred to as The Three Musketeers back home, and together we wreaked havoc from sunup to sundown, summer after summer in our small, southern suburb of Houston. After high school, we decided to take our show on the road when we’d all been accepted to Texas A&M.
Texas A&M was the heart of College Station, which was one of the fastest growing cities in Texas. It was a thriving community with thousands of families who called it home. I think the three of us came here with the intent to leave after our college days were done, but the city had an interesting way of casting its spell. Like so many before us, we found ourselves enjoying the conservative, small-town atmosphere and so we put down roots. Some years back, I married, planning to start a family here.
I met Kris my first year in school, but while I was just a freshman, she was getting her master’s degree in genetics. We met at a party given by a mutual friend and hit it off immediately.
My relationship with Kris was simple and safe. She was her own person and didn’t expect my world to revolve around her. She had her friends, and I had mine. She was exactly what I needed—someone I knew I could love without losing myself in the process.
“We need to talk.” Those words never brought about anything good, and this time was no different.
“What’s up?” I asked, barely looking up from the football game. When Kris walked in front of the TV and turned it off right as the first half was winding down, I knew she meant business.
“Okay, you’ve got my attention. Shoot.” I sat up a little straighter, dusting pretzel crumbs from my shirt. Kris sometimes reminded me of a schoolteacher. Not the hot kind, but the mean kind—one who could melt you with her practiced glare. When I was on the receiving end, I felt like a naughty child.
“I’m starting to apply for post-grad programs and I need to know where this,” she motioned her hand between the two of us, “is going.” She stopped, eyebrows raised, waiting for a reply.
In my opinion, things were fine as they were, but I knew she had to start making decisions about her future. I should have been flattered that she’d want to include me in her future plans.
But I wasn’t.
The discussion felt like a business meeting—cold and devoid of emotion. So I presented my evidence in a manner fitting the discussion. “Well, Kris, I love you. I guess I just assumed we’d stay together, and I’d go wherever you were accepted.” I hoped that was what she wanted to hear.
We spent a few minutes going through the applications for various programs she was considering and settled on a few close to home. Being an only child, she felt it was her duty to stay close in case her parents needed her.
Once the hard decisions had been made, I looked at her and asked, “So, do you want to get married… or what?” That was five years ago.
“Hey, bud. Come on back.”
I hadn’t been in the lobby of Jase’s law firm more than two minutes before he whisked me away to his office in the back of the building.
My parents, along with Jase and Becky’s, had purchased a small house within walking distance to campus. We’d all lived there together until I moved in with Kris during our junior year, which gave her aging Chinese parents a near heart attack. But nearly seven years later, Jase and Becky were still roommates. Both were married to their careers, so I guess moving into a more adult living situation wasn’t something that had ever crossed their minds. They were like peas and carrots, and I think the time they were forced to live apart was harder on them than either was willing to admit.
Jase, a political science major, had left our odd little family for a little less than two years while attending law school. But he came back as soon as he could to join a local family law practice. Based on the amount of time he spent at work, he should be a millionaire by now, but if he was rolling in it, he sure didn’t show it. He spent his free time buying houses around campus to turn into rental properties. The guy was smart, but he was another one who had the potential to die alone.
“Hey, remember that house next door to ours?” Jase’s words interrupted my thoughts about his pathetic love life.
“Donna’s house?” Where was this conversation going?
“No, the other side… the white one. I put in an offer for it, and I think I’ll get it. It’s in pretty bad shape, but I can clean it up… ”
I was grateful for the small talk. Even knowing him as well as I did, it was still awkward as hell having to sit across from him and tell him why I was here.
“So, Kris and I talked last night. I’m filing for divorce, and I need representation.”
There. I said it.
Jase leaned across his desk on his elbows, his fingers steepled together in front of his mouth as he processed my statement. Finally, leaning back in his chair, he said, “Well, it’s about damn time.”
I shook my head back and forth. “Dude… ”
He was smiling sheepishly, like a dog caught digging in the yard. “Casey, this has been a long time coming. I’m just so glad you’ve finally grown the balls to do it before kids were involved.”
He turned in his office chair and started gathering a collection of forms from the massive wall unit behind him, working furiously as if I might change my mind if he dawdled. Jase stacked the papers on his desk and went to the mini fridge across the room.
“So, Kris knows this is coming, right? Being served the papers isn’t going to catch her off guard?” he asked as he handed me a beer.
“Yeah.” I took the beer he offered and sunk into the leather chair. “Like I said, we talked last night.”
As Jase took notes, I filled him in on the events of the night before. I probably should have felt guilty for keeping my friend so late at the office, but in all honesty, he’d probably be there anyway.
Kris arrived home as I was carrying a load of soccer gear from the garage. It wasn’t uncommon for me to store equipment for other coaches between seasons. She got out of her car, closed the door, and then walked around to the
back.
Leaning against her trunk, she crossed her arms over her chest and watched me. I said nothing as I added the equipment bag to the growing stack in the bed of my truck. Relieved of my burden, I closed the tailgate and moved to stand in front of Kris.
“I think we need to talk.”
That’s all she said before she turned and walked into the house. She’d always been hard to read, but her face showed determination. Yeah, we do, I thought as I followed her inside, closing the door behind us.
She sat down at the dining room table and motioned for me to join her. “I was offered the internship… my first choice.”
She’d attended the post-grad program at A&M, so we hadn’t had the moving conversation in a while. I wasn’t even aware she’d applied yet.
“I called and accepted today. I start next month.”
At that moment, I wished I could press pause to process exactly what she was telling me. I needed a moment to formulate a fitting response, but she continued as if we weren't both bearing witness to the end of our marriage.
“Are you coming with me?” She waited for me to answer, but I was at a loss for words. “If so, we’ll need to head down this weekend to secure an apartment.”
Her monotone voice and expressionless face hurt my heart. Not because she was leaving. Not because she’d made this decision without me. Not even because she and I both knew I wouldn’t be going with her. It was the complete lack of passion in her voice as she spoke of something she’d worked her entire life to achieve that broke my heart.
I wanted to tell her I was proud of her. I wanted to ask her why she’d made this life-changing decision without me. I wanted to say something—anything. But words failed me.
“I’ll take that as a no?” She paused for a beat. “Casey, it’s important you know that I will always love you, but we both know we aren’t meant for each other.” I had to agree with her there. “What’s important to you isn’t important to me, and we’ve known this for a while. I’m only sorry I waited this long to say it out loud.”
I knew what she was referring to. Over the last several months, I’d been pressuring Kris to try for a baby. She’d used every excuse in the book as to why it was the wrong time, but as she wound up her postgraduate work, it seemed like the exact right time. She could easily take a year off before her internship started. People in her position did it all the time.
When she’d run out of excuses, she finally gave it to me straight. She’d never wanted children, and she was hoping I’d just drop the subject. I tried everything to convince her otherwise, but Kris had proven time and time again that she could do anything she set her mind to. In this case, she’d set her mind to not having children. I knew that day that our marriage was over.
Kris took a deep breath, cleared her throat, then added, “I want you to find someone who makes you happy, Casey, and we both know I am not that person.”
I let my head drop into my hands, guilty that all I felt was relief. It had become clear to me that Kris and I were never meant to be permanent. Though we both had a deep affection for each other, our lives were an easy, parallel existence, mistaken for the comfortable companionship of established lovers. Kris and I may have been lovers in the physical sense, but we were lacking in so many other areas.
I married Kris to protect my heart. She was safe because of the lack of passion we shared. Maybe the one thing I’d been avoiding for so long was the exact thing I needed to heal.
Having nothing left to say, I stood. She took her cue from me and also stood, the scraping of the kitchen chairs on the floor cutting through the empty silence. I moved into her space, pulling her into my arms. Her initial reaction was to stiffen, but she soon relaxed, lacing her fingers at the small of my back and holding me tighter than she ever had before. I shifted my weight slightly and…
It was over.
She straightened her posture and dropped her arms to her sides. Taking a step back, she was telling me that emotional Kris was gone and clinical Kris was back and in control.
“I’ll be by this weekend to get my things,” I said as I grabbed my keys from the hook by the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned when I heard Kris clear her throat.
“She’s out there, Casey. You’ll find her. And one day you’ll be an amazing father.”
Her words caught in her throat and I watched as one tear escaped the corner of her eye, but she brushed it away almost immediately. Kris had no tolerance for vulnerability, and she certainly didn’t want me to see her without her walls firmly in place.
We had that in common.
I wished her luck and turned to go, walking away from the only adult life I’d ever known. I wasn’t devastated, but it was sad. She’d sacrificed her happiness for mine—if she’d ever really been happy. Content, yes. Happy, I wasn’t sure. Guilt crept in again as I sighed in relief and drove away from my home.
By the time I left Jase’s office, I had done what was needed for him to file divorce papers on my behalf. Luckily, Texas allowed for “no fault” divorces, and we had very little by way of assets. We owned the condo we’d shared the last several years, but she could have it as far as I was concerned. In Jase’s opinion, this was an open and shut case. If all went according to plan, it would be over in a few months.
That night, I stayed in a hotel. I wanted to wait for Kris to be gone before I packed up, and I had no idea where I’d put all my stuff once it was packed.
But I wasn’t prepared to think about that just yet.
That afternoon at our first soccer practice of the season, I’d been expecting Vaughn Jennings, a strong, energetic Aggie senior with enthusiasm and a basic knowledge of soccer. I’d hoped this guy would be able to pick up some of my slack until I got my mess of a life in order. What I did not expect was a whole new set of complications to add to my ever-growing pile. And little Miss Jennings definitely had the potential to become a complication.
Vaughn. What kind of name is Vaughn, anyway? It could be worse, though. She could be ugly. That was something Vaughn definitely was not. Not with those long red curls piled high on her head. Not with the contrast of her dark blue eyes against her pale freckled skin. If nothing else, she would at least be nice to look at.
Our interactions that first day were sparse. After her initial explosion of words, I’d purposely stayed away from her, confused by the unfamiliar effect she had on me. Around her, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. All I wanted to do was look at her and let my eyes drink her in like a cold beer on a hot day.
She was different, almost fragile, like a broken little bird. Watching her struggle with her mysterious inner demons made me want to swoop in and save her from whatever was haunting her. I hadn’t felt that way about a woman ever, and alarm bells rang out in my mind.
I kept my distance, but I also kept my eye on her. Each time I glanced Vaughn’s way, I expected to catch her messing with her phone or reading a book out of boredom, but I never did—not once. Her focus was always on the team, taking notes here and there. Her emotions played like a movie on her face. She celebrated their success with smiles, and acknowledged their struggles with a determined expression. I’m not sure it was even intentional, but it was clear to me her place was with children and she’d chosen the right vocation.
As if she wasn’t already a ‘ten’, the pure joy on her face while watching the kids interact with each other stirred something inside me—things I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It made me want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her off into the woods, neanderthal style, to claim her as my own personal property.
Her comfort level in the presence of the kids was in direct contrast to her interactions with me. I made her nervous. I could tell by the way she kept her arms wrapped around her waist or over her chest, closing herself off completely. I can’t say that I blame her, though. It was apparent she was painfully shy, and I wasn’t doing anything to make her feel welcome or at ease. I needed to apologize, and that’s exactly what I’d do.
If she decided to come back.
This is the last page of this chapter of my life, I thought as I drove away from the field that evening. I’m ready to turn the page. I’m ready to see where this plot twist will lead me.
I allowed myself the notion of riding off into the Texas sunset with the love of my life one day. I even surprised myself when I wondered if my ’happily ever after’ came with a head of fiery red curls.
3-Vaughn
I’D LIKE TO BELIEVE that Casey Clark hadn’t intentionally made that first soccer practice one of the most uncomfortable situations of my life, but his clipped tone and furrowed brow had done just that. But maybe it was just me. I had great difficulty making myself relax around him, so I decided to make more of an effort at the next practice two days later.
First of all, I had to keep reminding myself that he was safe. He was a friend of Becky’s, and she would never, ever put me in danger. Next, I made it a point to arrive early. I didn’t want to have that flustered, panicked feeling when dealing with Casey’s surly attitude, and one way to ensure that was to gain familiarity with my surroundings.
He was halfway across the parking lot when he spotted me. Despite the dark Oakley sunglasses, I could tell exactly when it happened because he paused mid stride, shaking his head before he continued to stalk toward me. As he walked past me, he yelled, “Hey, Vaughn, heads up!” before throwing a tube of 100 SPF sunscreen my way. It surprised me when I caught it. I also caught the smirk peeking through all that thick facial hair as he passed me.
“My best friend’s a ginger. He burns just thinking about the sun. Didn’t want to see that happen to you.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, and then looked on as he dumped the contents of the mesh ball bag and set the cones out in an oddly intentional arrangement. I wanted to offer my assistance, especially given his current cheery mood, but I didn’t. He seemed to know what he was doing, so I applied my new sunscreen and allowed myself to enjoy the view.
