From the Beginning: The Old World

by Kurtz, Timna

  “There has to be some kind of clue here, Mother. Are you sure that you checked everything?” Jezebel redirected my attention to the maps. “Let’s go over them again. Maybe we will see something else we haven’t seen yet.” I didn’t decline her good offer. “My smart child! Your optimism and determination will eventually lead us to where we need to go!” I thanked her again. I was proud of the young child she had grown to be, a charming and graceful young woman. I felt as if she was of my own flesh and blood. I looked at her in a loving maternal way for another long minute and then returned once again to look at the maps, picking up each one, turning them from side to side, until I noticed something I hadn’t seen before.

  “Here it is Jezebel! I found it!” I lifted the desired map: On the back of the map, right at the bottom, there was a little drawing of a black feather! The map showed one tall mountain with a small diameter, that was connected by pools and ponds to a lower wider island that hid behind the first island. Just as I saw in my vision!!! In the center of the island shown on the map, the same crater with the sign of the holy alter drawn on the heart of it, the black feather appeared again!

  “Mother! How could the people who drew the maps know about Cole and all the prophecies? It doesn’t make sense!” Jezebel voiced out loud what I was thinking in my heart.

  “I really can’t understand. They not only predicted the great flood but also our struggle between good and evil, which is about to happen soon,” we looked at one another and immediately started to search for clues that might show us the end results of that struggle. If everything is predictable and foretold—maybe signs of it will show on the maps.

  But, after a long hour of searching that yielded nothing, we both came to the inevitable conclusion—that what was about to happen would determine our fate. The choice was ours, and we needed to make it no matter the cost. We would have no alternative but to beat Cole and his dark forces, come what may!

  We stood up with the correct map in our hands. We looked to the eastern horizon, from where it was possible to see the little island that had hidden the one behind it. We checked the map well, memorizing the route and the nautical safe path, which was the best accessible path to the back island.

  After that, we collected all of the maps except the map we needed, and we found them a new place in the holy cave, inside a small niche in the wall of the cave, close to the altar. We sealed the niche with a big rock so their secret location would not be discovered. All we had left to do was end the day with the blessing of Jezebel’s new blood, and in the morning, we would return to the tribe.

  According to the thinning sickle of the vanishing moon, we had just one more day until the moon would disappear completely and we would remain with the darkness of the night, exposed and vulnerable, awaiting the arrival of the black bird…

  At dawn, we were already making our way down the slopes of the island.

  Although it was expected that in a moon cycle ritual we were to stay in the cave for three days, we didn’t have time for it. Jezebel understood that we needed to cut our stay in the holy cave short, and that she would need to pass the remaining days of her menstruation cycle near the pool, where she could wash herself and be aided by the other women should she need help and I was not there to assist her.

  After about half an hour we were back down. People just started waking up to their daily routine, and no one seemed troubled or worried. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened while we were away. Jamila updated us when she came outside to greet us.

  “If so, we can go about our business as if nothing happened,” I smiled to Jamila trying to reassure her.

  “But one thing is new, some strange thing happen…” Jamila seemed hesitant whether to share it with us. “It is Chamid. He start moving now. He follow Violet all time like he want watch her. I think he feel something. He come now play with Attalla too. I think before he don’t want Attalla any more. I think this why he feel what we to do, or maybe he feel something happen to Attalla.”

  It was a blessed change in Chamid’s condition that, because of the depression he was in, he secluded himself and was indifferent to what was going on around him. “I believe that Chamid was always fond of Violet. I had noticed before he was staring at her all the time, so I am not surprised he is hung up on her. Who knows, maybe he will prove helpful at crunch time?” I shared what I suspected a long time ago.

  “And you not think he tell plan to someone?” Jamila asked.

  “I see no reason to worry. Chamid didn’t communicate with anyone up till now. My gut feeling is that we can trust him, that even if he had seen some of the secret planning—he will not open his mouth.” I lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

  “Grace, ‘ouchtee’ (sister), I am so afraid for my Attalla! You have to save him!” Jamila burst out crying, unloading the enormous strain she was under. I hugged her trembling shoulders and comforted her.

  “I promise you, Jamila. I promise I will bring him back to you, even if I have to pay for it with my life!” I declared with determination, meant for her ears alone. I knew well what the meaning of losing the battle with Cole would be. If I fail and lose baby Jonathan—the only hope for creating a new and improved world, devoid of evil and violence, would be lost too…

  * * *

  Chapter 37

  After we had unloaded what little we had, I sent Jezebel to play with her young friends, and I went to the little cave to make sure I didn’t miss a map or any other piece of information that might be useful to me.

  Before I entered the cave, I went to check the raft and better its cloaking cover. I found Violet already there. She came to perform the exact same task. She was happy to see me and bent over to hug me.

  “Did you see my new shadow?” She winked and gestured with her head towards a small group of trees, where I could see the image of Chamid sitting in the shade, pretending he had “just passed by and stopped for a moment to rest.”

  “Jamila already brought me up to speed. I told her we have nothing to worry about, he will not expose us.” I expressed once more my full confidence in Chamid.

  “Not even to Connor? If there is anyone that Chamid might open up to and tell him everything, it’s Connor.”

  “You are right, I haven’t thought about that,” I confessed, and my sense of security was shaken a little.

  “Maybe you should try talking to him?” I suggested something that even I doubted.

  “And what will I say to him? Ask him not to reveal our secret? The minute I ask that, I will also have to tell him everything and explain. But, I am afraid that if I initiate a conversation with him, he will get scared and run away. I don’t think that he is capable of having any kind of talk right now—which lowers the chance he will speak to Connor… that reminds me!” Violet made a quick turn and changed the subject. “You have a guest in the cave, and I think he will ask for an explanation as to the new ‘design’ of the place…” She implied that Connor was in the cave.

  “Thanks for letting me know in advance. If I had reached him before you told me, chances are I wouldn’t be able to get out of it without revealing information. That way I can pretend I had no idea how the wall ‘fell’,” I said.

  But when I headed towards the small cave, I remembered that this kind of little white lie was exactly the excuse he used for ending our relationship in the past. No! I cannot lie anymore, or pretend either! What is the point in building a new world if I do the same thing I did in the past? With a heavy heart and with my shoulders slouched, I went down to the small cave, taking care not to bang my head on the low ceiling. But as soon as my feet touched the floor of the cave—the vibe ignited at once!

  I was so surprised that a sudden cry came out of my mouth. My voice immediately caught Connor’s attention, who was checking the small and empty niches that were now revealed with the exposure of the additional space.

  “Grace! My love—I missed you!” He came through from the niches space into the first and pinned me to him, kissing
me with love, passion, and hunger. The vibe reacted accordingly and sent its familiar currents inside me, pushing me and rushing me to give in to Connor’s touch.

  “Hmmm… Did you miss me too?” he hummed with pleasure when he sensed my enthusiastic cooperation. “One night without you—and I go crazy. Two nights is already pushing it! And all that only a week after you were absent from my body and my love…” he passionately explained how he missed me by his side and his yearning for merging with me again.

  “Oh… Connor…” I whispered, craving his love and body too, feeling the vibe emerging this time from the depths of my womb. Without the need for any calculation, I knew it was time for my ovulation, that my body was asking to conceive and the reason the vibe was so intense. Tonight would be the first moonless night, which meant that almost two full weeks had passed since the full moon and my menstruation. This awareness flooded me with immense joy that hastened the flow of the vibe even more. Most of the time it was Connor who insisted on the long, torturous and pleasurable lovemaking, and would drag me into an hour of foreplay in which I would reach the few first orgasms even before he would come inside me. But this time I was the one who dictated the pace of our lovemaking—this time, I couldn’t stop myself. I held his wrists and pinned them to the ground, riding him, devouring his lips. My pelvis was pressed against his when I remembered we still had our clothes on. Impatiently I took off my clothes, almost tearing his pants off him.

  “Grace? What happened? What’s the rush?” He smiled embarrassingly at the face of my burning passion, feeling uncomfortable with the role reversal.

  “It’s… the vibe…” I tried to explain as I was panting, hardly able to speak from the intensity of the feelings and sensations that were making me dizzy. “I am ovulating… it starts… today… don’t stop me… please—Connor!” I urged him, with my patience wearing thin. I pushed him to lie on his back again, and I returned to ride his pelvis, holding his penis in my hand thrusting it into me with one swift move.

  A heavy sigh was released from my throat when he touched me inside at the spot where the vibe was bursting in a frenzy. Now the vibe was flowing to him too, and he was carried away with me on the waves of passion, allowing me to dictate the rhythm of movement, and to control his body, longing and expecting no less than me for the coveted conception. I could see the same bliss on his face as there was on mine. This time, he did not hold himself back, nor did I, and we both climaxed quickly, smiling and happy…

  “Prior to my marriage, I had gone for the traditional consultation with the spiritual advisor, who explained to me the customs of the new bride and what she needed to do on her wedding night. Although this guidance was meant mainly for religious women, what caught my attention and remained etched in my memory was the weird saying that if the woman was the first climax, odds are she would bare a son. Although the vibe plays a major role in this passion ‘show,’ if you let me continue dictating the pace in the next few days to make sure that you climax before me, I have a feeling we will receive one very special baby girl, Libby is her name…”

  I smiled at Connor with love, lying next to him in the little cave after we finally calmed down from the acts of love, passion and the vibe that was satisfied for now.

  “Hmmm… Libby… I love that name!” Connor hummed in delight.

  “Unbelievable! That is exactly what you told me the first time you were with me, and I told you of the magical girl that announced her arrival and her departure—word for word!” I lifted my head and looked at him in amazement.

  “Oh my! That does sound familiar!” His eyes also opened in surprise. He squinted his eyebrows trying to remember as if a thick fog was lifting, clearing its path.

  “Connor? Could it be that you are starting to remember?” I asked carefully, not sure if I should be happy for it or run for my life before he remembered the reason for leaving me then.

  “I remember vaguely… a porch, a mat and a few pillows, lots of candles, wine and for some strange reason I want to say, a delegation of enchanting little fairies scattering their magic powder on us… Does this make any sense to you?” he looked at me with questioning eyes, waiting for my answer.

  “To me, it sounds very logical!” I laughed when I heard the description of the magical fantasy. “That is how we both felt after that first evening we met. Evening? You stayed at my place for the whole night, and it was like we were always together. The connection was so immediate and deep—”

  “And we finished each other’s sentences!” he quickly finished my sentence, remembering another detail from the past.

  “Exactly like this…” I put a loving hand on his face, remembering that enchanting night too. “I fell in love with you the second I heard your voice and fell in love again the minute you stood at my doorstep. I fell in love with you for the third time when you kissed me with such intensity you left finger-shaped black and blue marks on my arm, just beneath my shoulder, and I prayed that these marks would stay on forever, tattooed on my skin, like a love message on my body. I was bewitched that first week, I hardly ate or slept—I just breathed you in,” I caressed him gently.

  “I remember now, that once you came over to my place and tried to surprise me. You thought I would be out, and you scattered glitter and stickers of little fairies all over my back yard, which came to cause mayhem in my yard, and to deliver a message of love from you,” another memory came up from the depths of darkness.

  “That is right! And that day of all days you stayed home and didn’t go to work, ruining my surprise. That’s why I scattered the pixy dust on you as punishment for disrupting my plans. We were both filled with glitter that barely came off in the shower we took together…” I blushed all embarrassed when I completed the memory for him.

  “My love…” he whispered. “It sounds like you were completely in love and you gave so much of yourself to me,” he guessed or remembered, I couldn’t tell, but my heart suddenly cringed in fright.

  “Grace! I promised you that I would not let the past change what I am feeling for you now—and I intend to keep my promise!” he looked straight at me with determination, reading the panic that had come over me correctly. “Even if my entire memory comes back, it will not change a thing! As long as you did not commit a crime or sin against me in the past, you have no reason to worry. I love you and will always love you. I have the feeling I will remember I have loved you forever. If you didn’t murder anyone, steal anything, lie, or violate any of the Ten Commandments for that matter, nothing can cloud my love for you,” he sealed his promise with another kiss. But this time, the promises did not help. Tears came to my eyes. The memory flooded my heart again, bringing up all the hurt from the past when he left my life slamming the door.

  “I am sorry, Connor, but you must understand why I can’t be at peace with your promise.” I rose hurting and began dressing. “It was too painful when you walked away from me then—I don’t know if I will be able to bear that kind of pain again. I already lost Eddie here, not to mention the loss of my little son, and I finally got over it all, and you came back into my life, filling me again with your love and that is why I am so intimidated by the return of your memory. It is true that the time and place is completely different, but still—the pain that was left in my heart after you left was unbearable,” I finished dressing and turned to go out. “I am asking you to please go up to the sacred cave by yourself and try to recall your memories by soaking in the water. I have a feeling that the answers will arrive sooner than you think, and I’d rather you know the truth about what happened from your own memory. If I tell you myself—you might think I am telling it in a way that will convenience me. I will go now to care a little for my plants, and when you are ready, come and tell me what you saw, and how you really feel after you unravel the past,” I left quietly, with my heart crushing inside me, leaving a heavy burdening silence. At least he didn’t ask about the cave’s wall, I consoled myself, and wiped a silent tear I didn’t want Connor to see at that m
oment, and left him alone with his awakening memory…

  * * *

  Chapter 38

  That same day I walked around in mourning. I didn’t know whether the harsh feeling in my heart was attributed to the black prophecy that was about to take place by nightfall, or whether they were my concerns regarding Connor’s walk down memory lane. I worked on my plant plots like I was possessed, and only tried to keep myself as busy as possible with manual labor.

  My reactions were irritable whenever someone came up to me for a question, and each time I had to stop, breathe in and remind myself that the future had not yet happened.

  Because I submerged myself so deeply in work, I skipped lunch, and about an hour later, Jamila walked to me worriedly. This time too she was the one to comfort me when I lay my doubts and hesitations regarding Connor on her.

  “I see him eating lunch now and his face very sad. He eat not much. He tell me he go to holy cave alone, and you ask him this. He told me he go before sun go down.”

  It was not by accident that she told me of Connor’s estimated time of going up to the cave. “Better you go see him before he go with stone in heart,” she concluded, shook my hands for encouragement and turned back. A short while after Jamila left, suddenly I got a weird head spin.

  The sensation wasn’t coming from my body, but something in the energy around me was twirling and penetrating me, filling me up with warm, cozy currents. When the sensation reached my head I got dizzy again, this time it was from within.

  Naturally my hands moved on their own and were placed on my stomach. I understood well what had just happened. I leaped from my spot and ran as fast as I could towards the big cave, hoping with all my heart I didn’t miss Connor. He was no longer there when I arrived, but I should be able to catch up with him if I hurried, or so I gathered from my friends. I left the cave and turned to the winding road up the island, scanning the area, and indeed, I saw him climbing. He wasn’t high up, just at the beginning of his way.