by Kurtz, Timna
“Connor!!!” I called out to him, trying to stop him as I was making my way over. “Connor!!!” I called out again, louder, panting from the climb. “Coonnoorrr!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs to the point of tearing my vocal cords.
This time he heard me and stopped. He turned around and looked down. When he saw me climbing to him in a hurry, he realized something had happened and started coming down to me in haste, and almost fell rolling down the steep path.
“What happened, Grace?” He was breathing heavily with worry when we caught up with each other. “Is everything alright? Was there something you wanted to tell me?” He showered me with questions when I wasn’t able to reply due to my strenuous breathing. “Grace? Say something. Are you o.k.?” he asked again with concern, and I only nodded my head in approval.
“I just wanted to tell you…” I inhaled air into my struggling lungs, “that I love you. I couldn’t let you go like this without knowing how much!” I clung to him intensely kissing him with love.
I felt his body react with confusion, his hands moving hesitantly to my body. Eventually, his arms surrounded my back in a slightly despaired hug, placing his head against mine while his arms were tightening me to him.
“I already thought that I would go with all that had happened between us not knowing what you’re going through. I had a terrible feeling, that if I didn’t see you now, I wouldn’t be seeing you for a long time. I am afraid to go up to the sacred cave leaving you here without me to protect you. I have a feeling that the prophecy you told me about will take place while I am in the holy cave, and I will not be here to defend you, and you won’t be able to come and call me, but to go on the chase alone,” the worry and pain reflected in his deep clear green of his loving eyes.
“I have no control over the events’ timing and when they will happen. I am praying just like you that you will be here by my side when it does, but I do not want it to prevent you from going and finding out your past. Don’t come back before you have all the answers. If I have no other choice, I will ask Roan for help. You just go to find your past. There are other things in store for you besides our joint past,” I hinted of what is waiting for him.
“The past is dead—didn’t you hear?” he tried to joke by using Jamila’s standard words, and we both smiled at each other with acceptance. He pinned his forehead to mine and kissed me softly on my nose.
“I love you, Grace. Love you, wise woman, high priestess, healer, seer—soon to be mother…” The smiles widened, and we kissed each other one last kiss before he turned away from me, returning to climb the steep trail.
“I love you, Connor,” I whispered to his image in the distance. “I love you, my white eagle. Come back quickly, as your daughter is already waiting for you inside me…” A tear rolled down my cheek as I turned back.
The first moonless night came down on the island, blacker and darker than ever.
We had experienced many nights like this in the past few months, nights when the moon did not shine, and still everything went well. But not this night. Without Connor at my side and without the presence of Jack, I found myself dragging my feet around the island’s paths unable to sleep. The beautiful stars that twinkled in the vast skies seemed clearer now that their light wasn’t dimmed by the pale moon.
When I stepped on the same stone for the third time, I realized I was walking around in circles. It wasn’t by chance that I was repeating my steps, as I was walking close to Jamila, Ibrahim and their kids’ sleeping quarters. Quietly I snuck in to take a peek at the sleeping bunch. Jamila’s head rose in the dark when she sensed my presence. She got up and joined me, and we both sat down outside the cave, gazing at the eastern horizon, from where the black bird would come.
We sat silent for a long while. There was no need to say anything. We memorized all the details and went over them a thousand times. I knew the map by heart and with my eyes closed, but none of it brought peace to either of us.
“He not come tonight,” Jamila ruled when the horizon started turning grey. At least for the next twelve hours we can be at ease until the sun sets and we will find ourselves walking in circles again, dreading the approaching darkness.
I managed to catch a couple of hours of troubled sleep after I left Jamila, waking up tired and with bleary eyes to a busy day of work. For some reason, everyone needed my help with one thing or another today. I ran around from one side of the island to the next, not resting for a minute. If it weren’t for the pregnancies of Violet and Jamila, who dragged me to lunch, I would probably skip it again today too. Only after I had dined on three whole fish, I realized how hungry and tired I was!! My full stomach induced me with sleep, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I vaguely remembered how at the beginning of my pregnancy with Idan, I would get really sleepy in the afternoon, happily sinking into a deep slumber.
I fell asleep on the beach under the trees, where the tribe usually ate their lunch. In my dream, the same black-skinned woman appeared, towering over me, mumbling her words of sorcery. This time I saw myself lying on the familiar alter table, bound to it.
The woman leaned to me, and the white in her eyes stood out in the background of her black skin. She whispered something in my ear in a foreign language that I couldn’t understand.
A baby’s cry was heard as she laid her hand on my shoulder—I woke up frightened from my sleep, with Jack’s hand placed lovingly in concern on the same exact spot…
* * *
Chapter 39
“Jack? You’re back!” I opened a pair of blurry frightened eyes, rising heavily from my slumber, with Jack supporting me gently and his gaze longing and yearning for my touch.
“Come here,” he pulled me to him, feeling my unrest, knowing to give me the hug I so desperately needed at that very moment.
“Jack, it is so good you are back now. I was so worried you wouldn’t make it in time!” I mumbled as I was exploring his face with my hand, caressing him in response to his strengthening love, kissing him out of my intense need for protection and a desperate need to forget all the hours of the last few days, which were packed with a great deal of stress and not enough sleep.
“To where I will not be on time?” he repeated my words with a question. “Grace? Is everything alright?” He examined my face with a loving touch, moving my hair aside, kissing me again and again while speaking warm welcome words.
“Yes! Sure!” I hurried to undo the hints I blurted without noticing. “I am so tired I don’t even know what I am saying,” I forced a smile attempting to distract him from the matter. “I haven’t slept much in the last few days, too many menstruations…” I continued talking nonsense, feeling my head getting heavy and my thoughts slightly foggy.
“Menstruations? Grace—I’m not following you. What exactly happened in the past few days and why do you have dark circles under your beautiful turquoise eyes?” he sounded troubled now as he was kissing my tired eyes.
“You left for your journey just before the full moon. You don’t even know that I finally got my period which I waited so long for! A day before ascending for the moon cycle ceremony I started bleeding, and a week later Jezebel started too, so we went up again…” I updated him carefully as I didn’t know how he would react, but his excited response took me completely by surprise.
“Grace! That’s wonderful! I am so happy! You waited for this for so long! Ayee… how nice!” he sighed a deep sigh of relief and hugged me tight. “I am sure that Connor is bursting with joy…” he said quietly, the happiness fading quickly when he realized the meaning of it all. “Now you can have the children that you wanted so badly…” he swallowed a choking lump in his throat and pulled slightly away, lowering his eyes to the ground.
“Jack… Wait a minute…” I stopped him, the lump in his throat was choking me too. “I can have children with you too. Don’t you think for a minute that I don’t want to—it’s quite the opposite! I really want to! I will be more than happy if we have a beautiful blue-eyed chil
d together, but there are things I know that are supposed to happen, and I saw that Connor and I will have a baby girl—I had seen it already in the old world!” I shared what I knew for a long time. “Besides,” I got closer to him again, sliding my hands sensually around his neck, nearing my face to his, “Connor isn’t here now…” I implied with an enticing whisper. “He went up to the sacred cave by himself yesterday to remember his past, and there’s a big chance he will remember the reason we broke up which might disconnect us for a while, therefore, I have no intention of giving up your presence by my side!” I clarified his importance in my life, sealing it with a deep kiss. “Come! Our waterfall cave awaits, and you have a few things to show me,” I pulled him in the direction of the pool and the waterfall.
“Yes… I have a few things to show you—especially how much I missed you!” He smiled, and the fear of losing me in his eyes disappeared once he realized he would not lose his place near me, or the possibility of having children with me. He tightened his grip on my hand, and now that the passion had reawakened in him, he dragged me running to our cave.
Unlike other times when we used to make love wildly and with force, this time, he made love to me slowly and sensually, lifted me and changed positions many times, copulating me from every possible angle. I knew he was also trying to impregnate me. I smiled with pleasure at every new position and each climax that trembled us both, laughing with a happy heart as I knew I was already pregnant, a fact he wasn’t aware.
This way, they would think, both Jack and Connor, that they were the fathers of my daughter.
Afterward, I fell asleep in his arms. Spent and satisfied, I fell into a deep sweet sleep, forgetting all the troubles and prophecies, as the sun set and the night was slowly rising, lifting the dark starry veil on the most horrific night of all…
At that time, in the holy cave, Connor had finished another soak in the cleansing waters, remembering another piece of his past—that same piece that had slammed the door in my face, making him think that I had lied to him in the past. He saw the great love that I wanted to give him, which he had refused to accept, and how he had found that pathetic excuse—that I wasn’t officially divorced—to pull away from me. He remembered how he had claimed that I withheld the information that I had just broken up with my husband from him and that I wasn’t yet ready for a new relationship. He remembered and saw it all, the entire past and present. Suddenly a shadow crept into his vision—the shadow of a black wing, silent and ominous.
Connor leaped with a fright from the dip that just ended. Darkness engulfed the sacred cave, and only his heavy breathing echoed in the dark.
He probed his way carefully as he stepped down from the altar, and searched a long hour for his clothes and things, losing precious time until he found the torch he had brought with him, and lit it.
Now, that he could see his way, he hastened his actions. He dressed quickly and collected what little provisions he had taken with him. He stepped out into the darkness, starting his long steep way down, with only one thought in his mind: How fast should he arrive and protect me before it will be too late, before the black bird reaches me.
In the meantime, a little boat was nearing the beach. Sitting in it was a man with black eyes and a black-skinned woman. The woman’s dark skin blended in the darkness of the night when she made her way from the beach to the big cave. She snuck in silently on her toes between the people who were sleeping peacefully, dusted them with a fine powder to make them sleep more soundly. Gently she extracted the sweet baby from Jamila’s protecting arms, who fell too into a deep heavy sleep induced by the long grueling hours of tension and anticipation for the worst of all.
Embraced in Jack’s love, I moved in my sleep. A sweet smile on my face as I saw in my dream a little girl with golden curls and green eyes skipping in a spring meadow, wearing a white dress, smiling at me and her voice giggling and echoing to me—“Mom! I’m back!” Her eyes gleaming as she turned her head back and called again—“Look what I brought you, Mom!” She reached out for something I couldn’t see, but at the same moment, I became dizzy again with the same feeling I had the day before in my garden plot. I could swear I saw cells dividing in me—one cell dividing into two, two become four and so on and so forth.
I hummed with pleasure at the sight of all the clear clues as to the existence of a new baby girl in my womb. The wonderful spin flowed in me twice as powerful and woke me up from my sweet dream.
I stretched like a lazy cat, feeling Jack next to me, still curled up sleeping. The sound of the waterfall blocked any other sound from coming through, and the sensation of being cut off from the rest of the world started entering my consciousness, creating an unexplained sense of suffocation.
I rose up from my spot, approaching the narrow passage, trying to see the sky through it, but it was too dark outside.
“Grace?” The sound of Jack’s awakening voice was heard behind me, looking for me at his side. “Come here pretty woman, come back here at once!” he commanded me with a loving sleepy voice. “There is no reason for you to go out. You will not see a thing in this pitch black. Did you forget it is a moonless night?” he justified our stay in the cave—and brought back all at once my consciousness and memory of what might happen even tonight. For a minute there I thought I saw a shadow of a black wing silently passing through the dark skies.
“Jonathan!!” I cried out in panic. “Jack! Quickly! We have to go back to the big cave! If we don’t make it in time, Cole will manage to slip away from us, and we will not be able to find him!” I called out to him distressed, rushing him to join me.
“Grace?! What are you talking about? How exactly will Cole come here? And take Jonathan on top of it—what the hell are you talking about?” he was as upset as I was.
“He isn’t dead Jack. Nor you or God managed to kill him. He survived and reached another island. That is what I saw in my visions, and Jamila saw it too when she read my palm. He will come tonight to take baby Jonathan, in order to rob us of the hope for a new world. If he hasn’t taken him already…” My eyes were flooded with worry we might already be too late.
“Why didn’t you tell me anything, Grace? How can I help you if I don’t know anything?” His worry was fused with anger for not including him in the prophecy. “Never mind. I understand. Come, let’s go. I really hope that we will make it there in time.” He stepped out before me into the dark, leading the way. Since we had no light, the short road to the big cave was lengthened by nerve wracking probing.
When we approached the cave, I could already hear the commotion in there.
Jamila’s cries were heard in the distance, breaking and shattering the silence of the night, tearing my heart with pain, sending shivers and terror down my spine.
“He’s here!” I whispered in fear, realizing the worst was about to begin…
* * *
Chapter 40
One by one people woke up to the sound of Jamila’s screams. Terrified, they ran around, bumping into each other, tripping over stones and rocks in the pitch black that hung over the cave and the entire island.
“Fire! Fire! Let’s light the fire!” someone called in the dark, sending everyone looking for kindling. The remains of the camp fire were extinguished and damp, and it was clear to all that someone had intentionally poured water on them. The wood cuttings that were on the side ready for use were wet by the same vicious mean hand.
“We need to bring wood from outside!” Roan’s voice was sounded, giving out orders in the dark.
“Roan?!” I called out to him, trying to make out his image amongst all the dark outlined figures of the tribe members, running back and forth inside and out of the cave like scared mice.
“Grace?!” His voice searched for me in the dark.
“Roan, where’s Violet?” I approached carefully, probing my way to him.
“She was with me in our niche, I left her there. She doesn’t need all this commotion right now,” he spoke out loud when he fe
lt I was near.
“Grace?” Jack’s voice was sounded looking for me too. “Where are you going? Stay next to me!” he tried to keep us close, sensing the danger in the air.
“Jack, I will be alright, but you have to help light the fire so we can go out searching as quickly as possible!” I urged him to join the rest of the tribe so I could be free of his close guard, and I continued approaching towards Roan and Violet’s joint niche.
“Grace!?!?!” Jamila’s outcry was heard, shocking me into changing the direction I was forwarding to at once. “Grace!! Where are you? Come here! ‘Wen Intee ya ouchtee? Ta’ali Hon, min fadlak!!’ (Where are you my sister? Come Here, please)” Her distressed calls echoed around the cave, and the turmoil she was in sent her straight back to speaking in her mother tongue.
“Jamila!! I am here! Don’t move! I am getting to you!” I hastened my steps in the cave. I was no longer aware of the possibility of bumping into something or tripping—I had to reach her quickly. She needed me.
When I found her all shook up, in spasms and crying hysterically, I led her outside into the dark night’s air. Only when we stood outside, in the light of the stars that seemed paler than ever, she managed to calm down in my embrace and tell me what happened.
“I be too tired, because we not sleep in night before and all the day too, and when dark night come, I fall sleep,” she started crying again, this time with tears of awareness and guilt.
“I sleep so strong, I not hear black woman come to cave and close fire. She put powder on people so they sleep more, just like you see in vision—because I wake up, with sand on face and also Ibrahim face and more people too—nobody to feel when she take my Attalla…” Her sobbing grew more intense for a minute, but then she breathed again, pulled herself together and continued describing to me what had happened. “She take him like this, from my hands! I was sleep with him, hold him strong-strong so I feel when black bird come take Attalla—but black bird wait in boat. Black woman with white eyes take Attalla. I open my eyes little, little and see her before she put powder on me, but I was so ‘Ta’abane’ (tired) and powder make me sleep more…”
