He pulled her to him then. ‘I’m not asking you to go against him, Elspeth. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. He can’t hold out for ever.’
‘He could, you don’t know what he’s like.’
She had lifted her face to speak, and suddenly his arms tightened round her, his lips came down hard on hers, and she could taste the salt of her tears in her mouth, and was ashamed that John must taste them, too. He didn’t seem to care, for, in spite of the cold, he kept on kissing her for a long time. When he stopped, he said, his voice thick, ‘I don’t think I can wait, Elspeth, do you know that? I love you too much. I’ll ask him on Saturday, and if he says no, I’m taking you away with me. My mother’ll look after you till I come back.’
Her tears, stopped for a while, began to flow again as he declared the depth of his love. ‘He’ll try to stop you,’ she sobbed. ‘He might even hit you.’
John gave a derisive snort. ‘He’d come off worst, then, for I’ve been trained to fight, but I’m sure it’ll never come to that. He’s a sensible man and he’ll give in when he sees we’re determined. Stop crying, my darling, everything’s going to work out. Now we’d better get on, for I don’t want to anger him by taking you home late.’
She believed his assurances, and began to feel happier. It would be all right. Everything would be all right. John would see to it. They hurried now, saying nothing else, and when they reached the little wooden gate he pulled her against him once more. ‘I just remembered, Elspeth. My father has to go to Aberdeen tomorrow for the day, and my mother’s going with him to do some shopping. They’ll not be home till suppertime, so ...’ He paused briefly, then went on, ‘so the house’ll be empty. If you come there instead of going to work, nobody would know and we could ...’ He kissed her again before she could answer, such a kiss that robbed her of all sense.
‘I’ll be there,’ she murmured, as soon as she could.
Elspeth stood for a few minutes after he walked away, trying to compose herself before going in, though she knew that both her mother and father would be in bed. She didn’t know what to think, it had all happened so quickly – too quickly? – and John had made his plans with-out worrying about their parents. But, after all, it wasn’t important what anybody said. They loved each other, and that was all that mattered, so she would marry him as soon as it was possible, even if she had to go against her father’s wishes, and he against his. She had been certain from that very first night by the fire that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and nothing would stop her.
Shivering a little, she went inside. Mrs John Forrest! The thought warmed her whole body as she crept up the stairs. He had said earlier that they were as good as man and wife already, and after tomorrow ... Tomorrow? Oh God! What had she done?
Chapter Four
Elspeth had convinced herself after she went to bed that what she had promised to do was quite excusable under the circumstances. She loved John, and he would be leaving on Sunday forenoon after having spent Saturday evening at her house, so today was the only chance they would have to be alone again. She felt no guilt as she dressed in the morning, and went downstairs without a care in the world.
From six o’clock until seven she chattered on about the dance. ‘All the lads that were in the Terriers wi’ John tormented him about me, for I’m the first lass he’s ever taken out, and they said he must be serious and he didna argue wi’ them. You don’t think we’re too young, do you, Mother? John’s near twenty-one and I’ll be eighteen on my next birthday.’
‘Lassie, lassie!’ Lizzie Gray shook her head and looked at her daughter’s flushed face. ‘I should never have made your father let you go to that dance. Your head’s got filled wi’ romantic notions, an’ the laddie can’t be serious when he’s only been out wi’ you the once.’
‘He is so, an’ he’s full o’ romantic notions, and all, the same as Father was when you were courting.’ Here Elspeth glanced meaningfully at the grandfather clock. ‘He says he’ll have to run Blairton one day, but we’ll get one o’ their cottar houses for a start. Bobby Brough’s has been empty since he retired and went to Dundee, and ...’
‘Whisht, whisht! You hardly ken the lad, forbye him being a farmer’s son and you just a grieve’s lassie.’
‘I ken I love him and he loves me.’
Lizzie sighed with exasperation. She would be the buffer between Elspeth and Geordie, she could see that, for they were both as stubborn as the very devil. ‘Look at the time,’ she said, sharply. ‘You should be away.’
Only now did Elspeth’s stomach start to churn, but she put on her coat and shawl and set off as if she were going to work as usual. When she came to the village, she turned off the street before she came to the workroom, to avoid the risk of meeting Nettie or Kirsty, and took the back road to reach the Blairton track, thankful that it was too dark for anyone to see her. It was over two miles from there to the farm, and her legs had turned to jelly before she went round the gable end of the large granite house. With her hand raised to knock on the back door, she had an attack of conscience. It was not too late to turn back, she thought. She could still go to the workroom and say she had been sick but she was feeling better now. Miss Fraser would be glad to see her, for there was a lot of work in hand.
Before Elspeth could move away, however, the door opened and John pulled her inside. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d come,’ he told her, and she knew that he was as nervous as she was, which made her feel much better. ‘I heard your feet coming round the side of the house,’ he went on, to explain how he had known she was there.
He took her into a large, airy room, where varying sizes of copper pans hung from hooks along one wall. A long, scrubbed table stood underneath, with a huge jar of flour and a smaller jar of salt at one end, and a few brown and yellow mixing bowls at the other – where Mrs Forrest did her baking, presumably. On another wall there were shelves holding milk churns and metal measuring cups – Blairton had a dairy herd as well as producing crops – several fish kettles of varying sizes and china tureens, also of varying sizes. On each side of the window on the third wall there stood a wooden dresser, laden with dishes of all kinds – dinner and tea services, both bone china and earthenware. The fourth wall was almost entirely taken up by an immense range, where a cheery fire was crackling up the chimney.
Realizing that it was rude to stand looking like this, Elspeth turned round. ‘I’m sorry,’ she began, but John laughed. ‘Have you seen all you want?’
‘I don’t know what you must think of me,’ she protested.
He came close to her then. ‘You ken what I think of you. Take off your coat, and we’ll have a cup of tea before ...’ His voice tailed off, and he turned to the range, his face as scarlet as Elspeth’s own when it came to her what he was meaning. In a few moments, they were sitting at the table with cups and saucers in front of them, too embarrassed to look at each other. She took up her cup and put both hands round it, glad of the heat on her icy fingers, but after a little time she began to drink it, and the familiarity of the action eased her feelings of shame at what she knew would happen later.
‘Are you sorry you came?’ John asked, suddenly.
She faced him then, and could not feel sorry she had come. Not trusting herself to speak, she just shook her head, and John took her empty cup from her and laid it down. ‘I don’t want you to do anything you’d rather not,’ he told her, looking at her so earnestly that she had to gulp. ‘I thought last night it was a good idea, but now I’m not so sure.’
Neither of them spoke for some time, then he stood up. ‘The fire’s lit in the parlour. We’d be more comfortable sitting there than on the hard chairs here.’ He took her hand and led her through to a darker room, the light from the tall window somewhat obscured by heavy velvet curtains. A long couch was placed quite near the front of the fire, and two armchairs, upholstered in what looked to Elspeth like tapestry, stood one on either side of the fender. Afraid to create a wrong impression by sitting o
n the couch, she sat on the edge of one of the chairs and was pleased when John sat down on the other. At least he did not mean to rush her into anything.
Having felt so impolite at being inquisitive in the kitchen, she kept her eyes on the leaping flames, waiting for the boy to say something, but was a little disappointed at first when he asked her about her work with Miss Fraser. While she told him something about the things she did, she realized that he was interested, that he wanted to find out more about her everyday life, and she ended up by giving him little thumbnail sketches of the customers who came into the workroom. They were soon laughing together about the foibles of some of the women he knew, then he began to tell her a little of the more humorous side of his training under canvas in Perth, which had them laughing even more.
Then came a short lull, into which John said, ‘It’s been like we’re really man and wife, hasn’t it, just sitting speaking together?’
‘My father and mother don’t speak as much as we’ve been doing,’ she smiled, ‘not that I’ve seen, anyway, though maybe they do when they go to bed.’
She hadn’t thought when they came out, but her last few words caused John’s eyes to darken, and he stood up and came across to pull her to her feet. ‘Oh, Elspeth,’ he moaned, as he crushed her in his arms, ‘I love you so much.’
Their kisses made their passion grow quickly, so quickly that Elspeth was hardly aware of being edged down on the couch, and even when John’s hands practically ripped open her buttons she did nothing to stop him. She wanted him to take her, she needed him to take her, she rose to meet him when he entered her. It was over far too quickly for both of them, but this time she left her clothes undone, her skirts pushed to the side. She felt no shame, it was the most natural thing in the world.
They lay for some time, kissing, stroking, murmuring words of love and meaning them, until desire was roused again. The second time took much longer than the first – John explored every inch of her body with tender, yet insistent, fingers, and made her do the same to him, then his mouth took over from his hands, nibbling and nuzzling until she was almost begging him to stop before it was too late. He did stop in time and just lay on her for a while, and she could feel his hardness against her stomach, but when he sensed that she had cooled off a little, he began to move gently against her then guided her hand down to let her feel how big he had grown. At last, he went inside her, slowly bringing her to the same point as himself before he made the telling, urgent strokes that ended in an explosive, wild satisfaction for each of them. Then he lay back, breathing quickly for a few minutes until he recovered.
Elspeth’s heart gradually slowed down, but it still ached with love for him, and she knew that not even her father would stop her from marrying this man. After a few minutes, she realized that John’s eyes were closed and took the opportunity to study the dear face so close to her own. He still had the chubby cheeks of a schoolboy, although he would be twenty-one in less than three months, but there was a shading of dark on his chin and upper lip. His brow was smooth, ending in finely arched eyebrows, and his eyelashes, lying against his cheekbones now, were long and curling.
His eyes jerked open, as dark and as velvety as the coat of a mole. ‘I’m hungry,’ he observed.
The mundane words after her own more aesthetic thoughts made her laugh. ‘Just like a man, the belly has always to come first.’
He gave a long, luxurious sigh. ‘Don’t expect too much of me, Elspeth. Twice is enough for a while, but we’ve plenty of time yet.’ He sat up and set her clothing to rights, then said, ‘My mother left some cold meat for me, but there’s always more than enough, and there’s some bread-and-butter pudding left from yesterday.’
He stood up and stretched himself. ‘I didn’t know I’d feel so tired, but by God it was worth it.’ He whipped round, his kilt flaring up, to put some coal on the fire, and Elspeth turned away quickly. It felt wrong to look at his bare backside, though she had already found out that he wore no drawers.
They went back to the kitchen, where she was astonished to find that it was almost twelve o’clock; she must have been with John for nearly four hours. As they ate, she said, ‘When will your mother and father be coming home?’
‘I don’t know exactly, but not before five, I’d say.’
‘I’d better leave long before that.’
‘How long did it take you to walk here?’
‘Over an hour, I think.’
‘And you usually get home from your work ... when?’
‘After half past six, sometimes a wee bit earlier.’
‘Stay till just before five, then. I don’t want to let you go, and it’ll be safe enough.’ He could see that she was afraid, and added, ‘I promise, Elspeth.’
His persuasion made her put her fears to the back of her mind. It was so nice to be sitting at the table like an old married couple, and they had quite a long time yet to be together. After having a cup of tea, they cleared the table, washed and dried the dishes they had used, then John showed her round the house. Downstairs, in addition to the parlour and the kitchen, there was a small room which John told her his father escaped to when his mother was on the warpath, also a large bedroom. Upstairs, there were three more bedrooms, each one larger than both bed-rooms together in the cottar house, John looking at her with his eyebrows raised when they went into the last one. ‘This is mine,’ he grinned. ‘Would you like to try the bed for size?’
For some inexplicable reason, she felt a trifle angry. ‘I hope you don’t think that’s all I came here for.’
‘Don’t get your feathers ruffled. We both knew what would happen when you came here, didn’t we? But I don’t think any the worse of you for that. In fact, it’s made me love you even more, if that was possible. Anyway, it’s too cold up here, we’d be better in the parlour.’
Knowing that she was feeling guilty now, he made light conversation for over an hour, simply holding her hand as they sat together on the couch, and the tension inside her eased slowly. He was really a decent lad and had done nothing that she hadn’t wanted him to do, and she was starting to want him to do it again. Snuggling up to him, involuntarily giving him the signal that she was ready to make love once more, she gave a small, breathy sigh when he enfolded her in his arms.
‘Oh, God, Elspeth, I’ll never forget this day. No matter how bad things are when we get over to France ... and I’ve heard some stories that have put the fear of death in me ... but I’ll be able to take comfort from thinking of you. That’ll keep me going.’
Time meant nothing now to either of them. The passing of the hours, marked by the chimes of the grandfather clock in the corner – as John had told her, not nearly as beautiful as the one in the cottar house – went unheeded as their passions were spent and raised and spent again. It was as if they were in world of their own, a world of unending paradise in which nothing mattered except proving their love to each other.
They were still recovering from the most perfect of all their unions when John’s whole body stiffened. ‘Listen!’ he urged, but before Elspeth could hear anything, he had sprung to his feet. ‘It’s the trap! My God! They’re back already!’
In the ensuing scramble to make herself decent, Elspeth had no chance to think, but John darted through to the kitchen to retrieve her coat and shawl, which had been left over one of the chairs. ‘They’re still gathering up all my mother’s parcels,’ he told her, ‘so you’ll get away before they come in.’
He pulled her towards another door, explaining, ‘I’ll let you out at the front, so they’ll not see you. What time will I come for supper the morrow night?’
Still scarcely able to think, she said, ‘Seven?’
He gave her a hasty kiss as he pushed her outside. ‘I’ll see you at seven, then. Oh, Elspeth, I’m sorry about this.’
While she ran down the rough farm track, her coat and shawl held in her hand and her hair streaming out behind her, Elspeth’s head and heart were pounding, her throat constricted with
the fear of being found out. With every step she took, she expected to hear a shout from behind, a shout which would mean that John’s father had seen her, but she reached the back road in safety, and once she judged that she was out of sight, she sank down on the grass verge to get her breath back, and promptly burst into tears.
When the heat of her panic subsided, she realized that she was sitting on the snow and was actually shivering with cold as well as fear. Standing up, she drew on her coat and threw her shawl over her head, wondering if she had the strength to walk home. Home? How could she face her mother in a state like this? Tears came again, and she leaned back against the dyke wishing that she was dead.
Giving herself up to abandoned weeping for some time, she calmed down at last and was able to think properly. The darkness had just been gathering when she ran out of the house, so it couldn’t have been four o’clock, but the sky was black now, so it must be wearing on for five, and she couldn’t go home until at least half past six. Even walking slowly, she would be too early and there was nowhere else she could go. Wait! She had noticed, on her way up the farm track, that there was a small shed a little to the left. If it wasn’t locked, she could go inside and at least set her hair to rights as best she could.
Her legs were still shaking when she turned into the track to Blairton again, and she felt like a criminal as she crept into the unlocked shed, but feeling round with her hands, she found a large crate to sit on. Her hair proved quite a problem, for not only could she see nothing, she had no brush or comb with her to tame it, and half her pins were missing. Holding those that were left tightly in her hand in case they fell and were lost to her, too, she ran the fingers of her free hand through and through her long tresses until they felt smooth. It took her several attempts to fix all her hair with the few hairpins she had, but at last she felt reasonably satisfied and started on her journey home.
Time Shall Reap Page 4
