Mind the Gap (In Too Deep)

by Casey McMillin

  I shook my head. "No, I guess not," I said shyly. He pulled the towel out from underneath me in one strong tug and threw it to the floor. He looked down at my body, making me wish I had something covering me again. I reached out and tugged at the front of his pants. "It's only fair," I said.

  "So you're saying you want me to take these off?" I don't know why he made me spell everything out for him; it was like he enjoyed making me squirm.

  "Yes, I want them off. I want you naked just like me. Is that clear enough for you?" He was smiling at me, so I continued my tirade. "And while we're at it, I'd like to tell you how things are going to go after that. First the pants come off, then—"

  "I don’t think so," he said, giving me a disapproving shake of the head. "I'll give you the pants, but after that, it's my turn."

  "I'm okay with that as long as it's my turn after you and so on and so on," I said.

  "You are aware that after a few of these turns, we won't be able to tell one person's move from the next," he said.

  "I'm hoping that's the case."

  He took his pants off, letting them fall into a pile on the floor. He had on navy and orange striped boxer briefs. He pointed down at them. "You want these off, or are we saving that for later?" I motioned for them to come down with a swipe of my pointer finger. He stepped out of them, and I was confronted with the generous piece of equipment he was packing.

  I must have made a face, because he said, "You're the one who told me to lose the shorts."

  My eyes jumped from his piece to his face. "I'm glad you lost the shorts, I was just, nothing's wrong, I'm just, I was just looking at—"

  "I don't mind you looking, you just looked scared for a second."

  "I'm not scared," I whispered. I was being uncharacteristically shy for some reason, but I wanted him too badly to let him think I was scared. He was on top of me in what seemed like a split second. I ended up completely on my back with Josh hovering over me.

  "You cut your hair," he said, taking me in. That was the last thing I expected him to say, but I'd unpinned my hair in the shower and he was just now getting a look at the haircut I'd gotten a few months ago. My hair had been pretty tame when it hung down by back, but now that it was shoulder length, it nearly stood on end with curly/wavy texture. It had been pulled straight back into a twist all night to go with my Cinderella costume, but I shook it out when I fell back on the bed, and it was fanned out around me in rebellious curls—not very different from Josh's, only a little lighter and a little longer.

  "I cut mine, and you grew yours," I said.

  "I like it," he said.

  "Me too," I said. "Yours I mean."

  He went back to kissing me, only this time with a greediness that made me want to curl into him and never come out. His tongue invaded my mouth in a delicious, slippery dance that mimicked the motion I wanted to feel other places. After he kissed me senseless, he licked his way from my neck, down my chest and across the sensitive flesh of my stomach. He went lower, making me squirm. "Hold still," he said.

  "Are you about to—"

  "Kiss you right here? Yes."

  "Are you sure you want to—"

  "Yes."

  He gently put his lips to my inner thigh before making his way back to my center. The room wasn't completely dark, and I realized I loved how out-of –control of the situation I was. I rested my head on the pillow, closed my eyes, and enjoyed the amazing sensation created when his tongue licked and stroked me. I ran my fingers through his hair, and had to resist the urge to pull him into me and make him kiss me harder. He brought me to the brink of orgasm before he broke contact, and crawled on top of me. We had an extremely short conversation about birth control, and the next second he was completely inside me, stretching and filling me.

  "Oh, my God, Josh," I whispered.

  He stayed completely still. "Am I hurting you?"

  I took a breath. "I just didn't expect you to go all at once like that."

  "I didn't," he said, slightly confused. I looked down at the space between our legs, and realized that there were indeed a few inches of him on the outside. With no warning whatsoever, he pushed inside me the rest of the way and I let out a moan of pain mixed with pleasure. He lowered onto me, letting me feel his weight in addition to the utter intrusion of his length. "Now I'm in," he whispered in my ear. He was so big. Not just his equipment, but everything about him was big. His shoulders were big, his legs were big, everything. He was a massive, solid block of unrelenting pressure, and I loved how heavily he bore down on top of me.

  He began grinding and pumping into me, and before long, our bodies found the rhythm that would take me to the edge of orgasm, and drop me into a free-fall the likes of which I'd never experienced. With absolutely no inhibition whatsoever, I writhed around him, enjoying every last second of the amazing orgasm.

  When I opened my eyes, he was staring down at me. The pressure of his weight was as constant as ever, and I loved the feel of his hard presence inside me. Once he was satisfied that I'd returned to the land of the living, he bent and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. Once again, he picked up a slow rhythm. This time he was gentle for a long while before finally driving into me with a fair amount of force and finding his release. Josh Rand knew how to make love, and I wasn't sure if that should make me happy or sad or scared. At that moment, I settled for enjoying the sensation of being totally fulfilled.

  Chapter 14

  Josh

  Brit was extremely distant the morning after we slept together, which totally confused me. I made love with her two times the night before, and had tons of fun doing it, but she woke up on complete freaking lock down.

  Ladies, let's just get this out in the open. When you clam up the morning after sex, don't expect your man to react the way you want him to—mainly because we have no idea what the bloody hell you want from us. Do you want us to leave you alone like you're indicating? Or do you want us to beg you to tell us what we could do to make you feel better?

  I'd been in situations similar to this one a time or two in the past, and it had never turned out well. Anyway, Brit was doing that confusing girl thing, and I just kept to myself rather than say the wrong thing and risk making her upset.

  We ate a mostly silent bowl of cereal before I asked if she wanted me to take her back to Gretchen's and she accepted, saying she felt helpless without her car and wanted to get back to it. She stared at her phone during most of the trip, except for when she felt the need to ask me why I drove a big truck when vehicle emissions were such a big threat to the environment. I explained to her that I had to go over some rough terrain to make it onto certain jobsites. I didn't tell her that I also had it because I liked driving a badass truck. That thing was my baby and she was acting like it was an insult to Mother Nature. Couldn't she appreciate the wood accents and custom leather seats? Oh, but of course she wouldn't appreciate leather seats. Hell, as I took stock of all the things about my truck that probably offended her, I was surprised she even got into it last night.

  "Are you coming to the opening?" she asked, knowing we were getting close to Gretchen's.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. She knew how close I was with those friends, and that I wouldn't miss it for the world. Plus, I was reasonably sure I'd already told her I was going. I wondered why she was asking such an obvious question. Was it because she didn't want me to go? I was so frustrated at her and females in general for being so hard to figure out.

  "Of course I'm going," I said. "Are you going?"

  She had the nerve to look offended. "Well duh, it's my art on the walls," she said. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. She knew I was struggling to hide my amusement. "Uhhh," she moaned. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I was interested in seeing my babies in action. You know, with people and chaos in the foreground."

  I loved that she was proud of her work, but I didn't tell her that.

  "I was planning on going, unless you don't want me to," I finally sai
d in a tone of surrender.

  "I'm fine with you being there," she said, smiling brightly as if to ignore whatever was going on between us. We pulled up at Gretchen's and Brit hoped out of the truck as soon as it came to a stop. "See you tonight then," she said, still over-smiling. "Thanks for the ride, and uh, for last night." Her smile was tinged with thoughtfulness for a split second before going back to Saccharin sweet. "See ya!"

  I drove off wondering whose fault it was that things had turned out awkward between us again. Perhaps I'd never know. I took it out on my heavy bag when I got home, and that made me feel a little better.

  ****

  The grand opening of Mama Tonia's was a raging success. Tonia and Trey made huge portions of the tastiest meat, veggies and casseroles you'd ever want to put in your mouth and served it cafeteria style. The dining room itself felt like you'd been invited into someone's home, and the art Brit created was largely responsible for that.

  Tonia pulled two tables together for our group since there were thirteen of us. I'd love for you to be able to picture it, so I'll go ahead and list all thirteen, couples first, Gretchen and Joel (and the car seat), Collin and Rachel, Ethan and Emily, Bailey and her boyfriend, that made nine (counting the car seat). Then we had Caleb Scott from Bailey's soap opera, Zack Larson, Brit and me. So basically it was Brit and three single guys with four couples and a baby.

  We all gathered around the newly expanded table with our plates piled high. The atmosphere was great, and the food was even better. We sat around filling our stomachs and feeling like we were in Tonia's living room, and I was absolutely sure the restaurant would make it.

  Brit was sitting across the table and a little diagonal, but she was still close enough for me to be able to overhear most of her conversations. She mostly talked about the art she made for the restaurant since that was the most obvious topic, but at one point I heard Gretchen asking about her plans for the next few months.

  "I can't believe it's already almost here," Brit said. "I graduate in six weeks."

  "Do you know where you're going to live?" Joel asked. He knew tons of people in construction, and would probably be able to help her find a place like he did me.

  "No," she answered. "I don't think I'll have trouble finding something… the only problem is, I'm afraid of the dark, and I don't want to live alone."

  "You have a roommate right now?" Gretchen asked, almost surprised. Brit nodded and shrugged. "We're not that close. In fact, I rarely see her, but it's nice knowing someone lives there."

  "When did you say you're moving?" Emily asked.

  "I graduate in mid-December, so sometime right around then. Definitely before Christmas," Brit said.

  Emily looked at Ethan like she didn't want to overstep any bounds and he dipped his head letting her know she should continue. "Ethan's looking at a few houses, and will probably be ready to move into something by then." Her eyes met Gretchen's when she added, "and I'll be moving in with him."

  "Aw, you guys are moving in together?" Rachel asked, ever the fan of a love connection.

  "We've been living together for a while now," Ethan said. "It was supposed to be temporary, but I don't think I could make it without Sal."

  Emily delivered an elbow that earned laughs from around the table then she shot a look of shy regret in Gretchen's direction. "I know this is news to you, and I probably shouldn't have mentioned it since I have no idea what your plans for the guesthouse would be, but I thought the timing might be perfect, and—"

  "I love the idea," Gretchen said. "We'd hate to lose you as a neighbor, but you're right about the timing. Brit can be our new Emily, she'll just have to get a big, lazy dog to make the package complete." Gretchen looked at Brit. "No pressure, we'll talk about it later and see if it's something that works for both of us. If not, Joel can help you find a place."

  Joel was cooing at the baby, but nodded as if finding an apartment was something he could do in his sleep. I found myself wondering if Joel would hook her up with same people I was renting from, and if there were any units left in my building. By the sound of things, though, it seemed like Brit would just take over residence in Bruce Willis' guesthouse.

  Anytime we all got together, it was a good time, and dinner at Mama Tonia's was no exception. It didn't hurt that the food was outstanding. A few people stopped by the table saying that Tonia told them Brit was the artist and they wanted to meet her, but the majority of the people who came up to us were fans of Collin, Zack, Ethan, or all three. The soap opera people got some attention as well, but they were on the opposite end of the table where I couldn't really see what was going on. I could hear everything that was said every time someone came up to talk to one of the swimmers, though. Everyone who came up wanted to share their favorite Olympic moment, and ask a question or two about the experience. All three of the guys were thankful and gracious with their fans. People were getting on their phones to tell their friends about the table full of celebrities being there, and by the time we were halfway through our meal the place was packed. Who knows, maybe it would have been packed anyway, but I had the hunch by the way the air crackled with excitement that at least some of the diners had shown up to see the swimmers or the T.V. personalities who were at our table.

  Near the end of our meal, Brit got up. I didn't see what excuse she gave, but I figured she'd gone to the restroom. I knew I wouldn't see her again until she moved here, and I wanted to talk to her one last time. I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving on such uncomfortable terms, especially after what I thought was a great time together the night before.

  Just as I'd done in the coffee shop in Portland, I got up and followed her. She had indeed gone to the front of the restaurant where the restrooms were. It was a far cry from our dark little coffee shop nook since people were in and out and there was no privacy whatsoever, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from at least saying something. I waited for her to come out of the restroom for what seemed like a really long time before she finally emerged. I was leaning against the wall, and when I said her name she jumped back in surprise. "Jesus Josh," she said, "you scared me to death."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you."

  "What are you doing here? Were you just standing there waiting for me?"

  "Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you and make sure we were cool. You know, after last night."

  Brit gave me a look that said I had nothing to worry about. She was smiling a believable smile when she said, "I'm sorry. We're totally cool. Seriously. If I seem out of sorts, it's just that I was really nervous about how the art would go over tonight, but we're cool." She leaned forward and gave me a tight hug all the while wearing a smile and looking light-hearted as hell. "Thanks for checking on me."

  And just like that she took off toward the table leaving me feeling confused. I was taken a back by her brevity. I had no idea what she wanted me to say or do. After being married for a year, I knew good and well the mind games women played, but it honestly seemed like Brit had her own stuff going on and just wanted to be left alone. I had a hard time believing that after some of the things we shared with each other the night before, but I thought maybe she acted like that with all her one-night stands. I was bummed, but it wasn't the first time I misunderstood a woman's feelings for me, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

  Tonia and Trey caught up to us before we made it out the door that night. Tonia was moved to tears as she expressed her gratitude to Gretchen and Joel. That got Gretchen and every other girl in the group crying, and there was an impromptu group hug followed by teary-eyed laughs and backhanded swipes at eye makeup. Tonia made a big deal about how talented Brit was and how she'd taken their original vision and made it so much better. Brit was extremely humble saying what an honor it was to work on such a cool project.

  Chapter 15

  Brit

  I fell in love with Josh Rand and the realization of that left me feeling as if my chest could burst open at any second. I had a case of nerve
s strong enough to cause nausea when I woke up in his huge arms that Saturday morning. I wasn't sure when it had hit me exactly, and I knew it sounded cheesy, but I felt like I had genuine feelings for him—more than physical lust (which I had no shortage of). I was falling hard, and the unexpected emotions threw me for a loop.

  I spent much of the day in a haze of memories of the night before and daydreams of a future with Josh. At one point in the day, when I had some time to kill, I doodled his name and a drawing of boxer shorts with stripes on a piece of paper. It was so eighth grade of me, but I couldn't help myself. I was overwhelmed by my feelings for Josh, and I knew I needed to get all my eighth grade out so I could function properly in a grown-up situation that evening at the restaurant.

  The restaurant's grand opening was an amazing experience. Tonia and Trey had friends come out of the woodwork to support them. One family from their neighborhood came up to the table to talk to us. Their names were Luis and Angel, and they had such kind words to say about Gretchen and Joel. Apparently, Luis was now working at one of Joel's plants, had been given some responsibility, and was doing well. Angel shared with the whole table how Joel had seen potential in Luis and was helping him be able to support his family and become a better man in general. Gretchen had to focus on the baby to keep from losing it while Angel talked.

  Several other sets of people stopped by our table that night when we were eating. Two of them wanted to talk to me about the art, but it seemed like a dozen or so that came up to talk to either the swimmers or the soap stars. Our table was definitely the most gawked-at area of the restaurant, and the feeling of having all eyes on us made me not have much of an appetite. I picked at my food, taking a few bites here and there and hoping to God I didn't have anything stuck in my teeth.

  I had to laugh when I saw a lady standing next to one of my paintings, not to admire it, but to write down one of the recipes. Tonya came up from behind the lady, handing her one of the recipe books they were selling near the cash register. I watched the whole exchange. The lady looked regretful and dug her purse like she wanted to pay Tonya for the book but Tonya wouldn't have any part of it. I knew she was planning on giving some things away for the grand opening, but it was just cool to see her in action. She made that lady's day. The restaurant was alive with energy, and I was thankful to have my handprint on such a cool place.