by Jesse Steele
mentioning it in Ephesians 4.
Paul: Ephesus was quite a long journey from Jerusalem, so I had to spell it out for them.
Hank: What?
Paul: That’s my point exactly. The very point that I want to explain to you…
Hank: So, tell me, tell me. I wondered what you… er… the Apostle Paul… or whatever…
Paul: Function.
Hank: FUNCTION!?
Paul: Ephesus was so drenched in the Artemis Cult, and believe me, they even closed a business day to vote on lynching me… The Christians there kept thinking in terms of their own man-made hierarchy of administration. They just couldn’t get past the idea that they needed one person to be the MC of that meeting—and this guy having a vote—and his office—and that title—and the priests over there who are the only ones with the great and marvelous direct phone line to divine wisdom… It was a mess. And they were carrying that system into their Christian fellowship.
Hank: Well, I sure am glad I wasn’t part of that.
Paul: Um, hate to break it to you, but you think a lot like they did.
Hank: What do you mean by that!?
Paul: What you mean when your working definition of a pastor, being found nowhere in the Bible, is completely inherited from your culture. My words to Ephesus were meant to clarify how God’s kingdom actually works and you superimposed your own assumptions. You saw “pastor”, imagined “leader”, and assumed “behaves like a president”. That was all in your mind and you didn’t know you were doing it because you think about life in terms of words rather than the meaning behind them.
Hank: But culture is what I have to think with. I can’t think completely without it.
Paul: Don’t conform your thinking to the pattern of culture. Instead, be transformed by renewing your mind according to Scripture. Then—and only then—you will know what God’s plan is for your life. And, believe me, it’s good. So don’t be afraid to look at things God’s way.
Hank: Your mind is all over the map, but it makes sense when you finally circle around.
Paul: That’s part of my own writing style. If you’ve read my work you’ll know what I mean.
Hank: That makes sense alright... So land your point already. What were you trying to say to Ephesus that I’m not getting?
Paul: I told you: function.
Hank: What does that mean?
Paul: I never described elders or deacons in writing the assembly at Ephesus.
Hank: You’re rabbit trailing again. Elders and deacons were in your letters to Timothy, and he was at Ephesus.
Paul: So stick with the rabbit trail… I mentioned elders and deacons to Tim because those letters were addressing “office” of the Church. In the middle of my letter to Ephesus I was addressing “function”. It’s that topic of “function” where you get the word “pastor” and the offices of “elder” and “deacon” aren’t found anywhere in my letter to the Ephesian Assembly. Nor did I mention “pastor” as an office in my correspondence with Tim. They are completely separate and your system-based theology is synthesizing things that are almost opposite.
Hank: Opposite? Function? Office? Huh?
Paul: An “office” is an official position in any government, even Christian fellowship.
Hank: Why are we talking about government?
Paul: You’re the one who sees yourself as a president. Besides, the government of the coming age will be on our Lord’s shoulders. Jesus is a King. We are talking about the government of the Kingdom of Heaven. Its capital is the New Jerusalem.
Hank: Pause. Let’s deal with that another day.
Paul: …maybe with another apostle. John actually saw the new capital city in his vision. His life ended peacefully, in Ephesus. But I kept appealing my case and risked martyrdom to testify to Caesar. That’s because my apostolic function was with the government itself—with the people and the nations. Different apostles have different functions
Hank: You just used that word again: function.
Paul: Yes, I’m an apostle. Apostleship is not an office. It’s a function.
Hank: Huh?
Paul: What’s this? [picks up a rock]
Hank: Uh, it’s a rock.
Paul: How do you know?
Hank: Dah, because I know what a rock is.
Paul: Exactly. We didn’t vote on whether it was a rock or not.
Hank: Why would anyone vote on whether a rock is a rock? A rock is a rock! You don’t need to be a scientist to know that. You just need to read the dictionary and know what a rock is. Why are you making this so complicated?
Paul: I’m not the one calling himself a “pastor” while defining himself as a “president”.
Hank: I’m getting dizzy.
Paul: That’s because your assumptions are unraveling. Your mind is being slowly transformed away from the patterns of the world. You’re starting to realize the difference between “office” and “function” in God’s government.
Hank: Are you trying to say that you are like a rock?
Paul: Actually, that would be Peter, but…
Hank: In easy terms, please… What’s the difference?
Paul: The difference between office and function is simple. An office is determined at the fellowship of the Church. They discuss, consider, pray, follow the Lord’s leading, and agree. They determine who will be their elders to lead and who will be on their paid-staff of Church workers as deacons. There’s no mini-king or European-style “pastor (president)” as you say. That idea came from the so-called “Holy” Roman Empire, still burning people alive—just like Emperor Nero did in the “secular” Roman Empire. The Romans—including Ephesus—got those systems from the same history of cults and mythology. Point-man leadership in government is a very imperial way of thinking. Only Jesus Himself can be a one-man office. Even John saw human leadership in the New Jerusalem headed by a board of elders with no chairman. That board of peer-elders is the office of leadership. Deacons hold the office of work. We paid them out of the Church treasury so they could be free to do that work. The Church “owns” the deacons, in a way, because they “pay” for them. You own what you pay for. But those paid in the Church are not those in leadership of the Church. That would be a conflict of interest.
Hank: So, how do you get money, then?
Paul: I didn’t hold a Church office. I had a function—I was an apostle. Besides, I had a tent business. Haven’t you heard of a “Paulos” Tent? They’re among some of the most reputed.
Hank: Now you’re sounding like a shoe salesman.
Paul: Dwight Moody also knew the value of business experience for leading God’s people. He wanted to pay for the kid’s Bible education, but he knew how important it was for even the workers in the Church to pay for their own food and housing. So, he got businessmen, like myself, to pay their tuition. The students paid room and board. Moody might not have been an “evangelist”, even though history remembers him that way—he seemed more like an apostle.
Hank: Whoah! Dwight Moody an apostle!? He didn’t write books of the Bible.
Paul: I never said he was a “Second Testament” apostle.
Hank: You mean “New Testament”.
Paul: With your European vocabulary, yes. You know the meaning of my words.
Hank: Okay, I’m getting it now. Talk more, then about this “function” thing. What is the meaning of that word—function?
Paul: It’s like a rock. It’s not there because you vote on it. It’s chosen by God to be what it is. No one voted for Moody to be an apostle or evangelist or whatever he was, I’m simply observing the nature of his behavior—his function. Everyone knows what something is, simply by reading the dictionary. If it quacks, it’s a duck. Moody behaved like an apostle.
Hank: Just curious, but, how much time do you spend reading the dictionary?
Paul: Well, since I think in terms of definitions and not words, I don’t know, it’s been so long. But I used to read Greek dictionaries. Now I’m focusing on English dictionarie
s. Those are WAY more complicated.
Hank: I always thought Greek was more complicated.
Paul: That’s because you read Kittle. When it’s your native language you understand a lot more. But, for an Englishman, Kittle does a good job of explaining stuff we Greek-speakers just assumed.
Hank: Haha… I got you to admit that you’re a dictionary reader… Na, na…
Paul: So are you, Captain Kittle.
Hank: No, I’m Hank.
Paul: And I’m Paul. Nice to meet you.
Hank: …The Apostle… right.
Paul: That’s my function.
Hank: So, please tell me what that means!
Paul: The Second Testament (or ‘New’ as you call it) apostles were chosen by Jesus Himself. They weren’t voted on.
Hank: But they had fellowship and chose Mathis to replace Judas. That sounds like voting and “office” to me.
Paul: No. They cast lots, actually.
Hank: Oh, yeah. That’s right…
Paul: Judas had left a gaping chasm in the three-year fellowship that remained after Jesus’ first time on earth. There was a hole in their hearts. They were accustomed to ordering 12 glasses of wine with every meal, 12 cushions on the floor at every table… They needed another to fill the seat so they could move past the emptiness of Judas. They knew that not just anyone can be an apostle, but they had some obvious candidates… which were as easy to identify as knowing that a rock is a “rock”. But, since apostles are chosen by God Himself, just as rocks are made by Him, they had to let “fate” decide. They cast lots so that the final decision of who would take over Judas’ “function” was beyond human control.
Hank: So, GOD appoints
