Often he would spare her only a few words although he listened to the boys chatter happily about what they had done during the day. He looked over the slates they showed him with a critical eye. Was he happy with the progress she had made with them or was he just resigned with her presence here until she left? He would often sit on the stairs of the porch and listen to Jake read or Abby explain something from the text but rarely added to the conversations. Unsure if he stayed for the company or the mug of tea Abby always had ready for him, she cherished even the encumbered moments, stealing glances at her husband when she believed he wasn’t looking at her.
She tried to do all she could to ease his life and make him comfortable. She learned which foods were his favorites and how he liked his clothes cleaned and pressed. She made more clothes for the boys and two men. This Sunday, when the Hopkins family walked into the chapel, each of the men would be wearing a new shirt and matching pants.
While he didn’t outwardly show much interest in Abby, she began to note little things he did for her to make her life easier. At least she hoped they were to make her life easier. He always made sure there was a huge supply of buffalo chips for burning stacked against the wall on the porch. The smell took some getting used to, but with wood so scarce, it was an easier fuel to come by.
Most nights, he would stay and dry the dishes while she washed. He’d send the boys up to get ready for bed, but he’d have Jake sweep the kitchen floor, as if not wanting to be alone with her. Every evening, before he went out to the barn, he checked that the door was latched and that she had everything she needed.
As the days passed, she wondered how long before they would get a letter back from his family with job prospects for her after the harvest. She prayed that none came. If she were honest with herself, she’d have to admit she didn’t want to leave...ever. She wanted to somehow win the affection of her husband even if it seemed impossible.
The third Sunday of the month approached and Abby once again felt apprehensive. Colin had arrived on Thursday afternoon, entering the kitchen with Will at dinnertime.
“Hello, Abby. How are you doing?” His eyes searched hers, as if he would be able to tell if she was being truthful or not.
“Just fine, Pastor Colin. How have you been?” she asked, taking another plate out of the cabinet and setting a place for him at the dinner table. So this is what is feels to have an older brother, she thought to herself. She hoped that this visit would be better than the last. Will looked pleased to have his friend back.
“I’ve been just fine. But I must be getting old. I wrote back to the seminary where I studied and asked if they would send more preachers out this way. I’d like to buy up some of this good-for-nothing sod and try my hand at settling down.” He shot a quick glance at Will and then washed his hands. “I was even thinking that this area is as good a place as any to settle. You have any suggestions about where I might want to stake a claim, Will?”
Will mentioned some land to the west of theirs. He shot a strange look at Colin and then Abby but kept talking about streams and land formations as the men took their places at the table. After dinner, the boys played in the front room with their blocks while Abby cleaned up the kitchen. The men sat around nursing their second cup of coffee. Their talk ranged from land and farming matters to families in the area to the last chapter that they had been studying in the Bible.
It was nice to see Will relax around the table again. Sadly she learned more about her husband’s thoughts and current concerns from watching him interact with his friend than from their own stilted conversations in all the time they had been married. The realization made her long to know him better. Maybe if she could learn more about him, she could make him more comfortable with her staying for good. Maybe someday she would fit here as part of the family, not just some hired hand.
* * *
Saturday nights were the nights that everyone got a bath, whether they needed one or not. Abby let Will take care of bathing the boys and then she had the kitchen all to herself for her own bath. Back in her room, she brushed out her hair. It was still too damp to braid, so she took a walk. Feeling restless, she headed down toward the creek where the boys loved to fish. The sun was about to set and she didn’t plan on being away too long. Tomorrow was church Sunday and she would see all the people who had witnessed her marriage just a month before.
Colin planned a picnic with some of the women of the congregation for after the service tomorrow. It would serve as both a welcoming celebration for Abby and a belated wedding reception. During the week she had made cookies and other sweets as well as baked bread and prepared a large hunk of ham from the smokehouse. Will tried to reassure her that the other women would see to everything, but Abby wanted to do her part.
As Abby stood next to the creek meandering slowly through the flat prairie, she watched the sun sinking to the west with a beautiful display of God’s creativity in burnt reds, auburns, oranges and plums. If God could do that for the sunset that had no real significance except to mark the end of another day, couldn’t He make her lovely enough to inspire something in the heart of a man who needed a helpmate? “Sorry, Lord,” she whispered, struggling again to be content with His unknown plan.
The rippling water and the gentle breeze soothed her spirit even as the mosquitoes started to buzz around her. Noise from behind her caught her attention, and for an instant, she panicked, realizing just how vulnerable she was alone out on the prairie without a gun. Grabbing the closest stone that fit into the palm of her hand, she spun around. Laughter spilled out from sheer relief when she saw the form lumbering toward her was only Colin.
“Good evening,” he called out in greeting, eyeing her strangely as she released her rock and tried to control her giggles.
“Good evening,” she answered, her laughter bubbling out in spite of herself.
“Something out here amuses you?” Colin stood a few paces from her, staring out at the sunset as well.
“I wasn’t sure you weren’t a coyote or something else interested in carrying me off for its dinner. I was glad to see it was just you.”
“It’s reassuring you consider me better than a coyote,” chuckled Colin, his green eyes glancing her way and then holding her stare.
For a preacher, he looked very human out by the creek at sundown with his strawberry-blond hair and freckles. His eyes registered concern. “Are you all right, Abby?”
“It’s just been so long since...”
“Since you were able to laugh with an adult?” He finished the thought that she didn’t dare express. She didn’t want to be unfair to Will. It almost felt as if she was betraying him for laughing with someone else, even if it was his best friend and their pastor.
Colin sighed deeply and turned his gaze back to the sunset. “How have you two been getting along?” he asked quietly, and she sensed he was asking as much as her friend as her pastor.
“I don’t know. I...” She bit her lip and waited. She had longed to confide in someone since the day she had become Mrs. Hopkins. She wished her mother were still alive so she could ask her how a woman went about making a man fall in love with her. But to confide in Colin just didn’t feel right. It wasn’t the kind of subject she would have been able to speak with Pastor Gibbons about, either, and he was old enough to be her father. She also felt as if she was somehow betraying Will’s privacy.
“Just give it time. He’ll come around. He’s not going to admit he needs a woman in his life just yet,
but I know God sent you here to be his helpmate. I’ve been praying for you to come for a long time. He needs to see that not all women are like his first wife. I don’t know if he explained anything about her, and I won’t say anything more, but you should know that she left him very disheartened and convinced he never wanted to love, much less marry again.”
“She must have been very beautiful. He doesn’t seem to notice me at all,” Abby said wistfully. She was lost in her own thoughts and didn’t realize that she had said the last part out loud.
“On the outside, yes, she was lovely. But bitterness cripples both the heart and the spirit. God’s word says He sees the heart and judges man by what He views on the inside. I know God finds you very lovely and I suspect Will does, too, whether he’ll own up to it or not. Just don’t give up. I know this wasn’t what you expected when you answered his ad, but the boys need you and so does Will. He is just too stubborn to admit it yet.”
“He still is waiting to hear back from his mother about another job for me,” Abby blurted out.
“God has a way of working things out. Just keep trusting.” There was a moment of silence and then Colin broke it with a question. “You’ve come to care for him, haven’t you?” He had lowered his voice, watching her again.
She had not admitted to herself how much Will and the boys had come to mean to her, but now, with Colin’s green eyes drilling into hers and seeing past her facade, she knew she needed to be honest with him and herself. She nodded, closed her eyes and prayed that God would protect them all.
“Good. God put that love in your heart. You’re a very special woman. You’re a wonderful mother to the boys, and I know you’ll make Will very happy, once he lets you. If he starts to get too grumpy you just let me know. I’ll knock him upside that big, hard head with a two-by-four.”
Before she could respond, she heard a rustling sound from the direction of the house. Abby and Colin spun around at the same time, Colin stepping closer to her as if to shield her from whatever was coming at them. They both relaxed when they saw Will. At first, the relief that no wild animal or Indian was heading straight for them caused Abby to smile, but her smile faded just as quickly as it had spread when she saw the fury in Will’s eyes.
“What are you doing here?” His glare pinned her to the spot.
“I...” She swallowed, trying to figure out what had happened. He never told her she couldn’t take a walk. “Is everything all right? Did the boys wake?” She suddenly realized how far from the house she was. She wouldn’t have heard them if they had called for her.
“The boys are asleep. They have nothing to do with this. Why are you here with him?” His voice was pitched low and shook with anger. He glared at her as if she had just committed some grievous crime.
He had never reacted like this before and for the life of her, she couldn’t understand what had happened. If the boys were fine, then why was he so agitated? Colin bristled at her side. She’d forgotten he was even there.
“I saw her come to the creek and decided that it would be smart to keep an eye on her,” Colin answered before she could form a coherent reply. “She and I were just discussing how the last few weeks have been. As her pastor, and your friend, I wanted to make sure she was adjusting and all was well.” Colin moved closer yet, as if still wanting to protect her. “As for her being here with me, I think she needs a friend from time to time.”
As Abby watched, Will stood rigid, his face darkened like the powerful storm clouds she had seen unleash torrents of water on the open prairie. She skirted around Colin, unwilling to hear any more of their argument. Words from their last visit still replayed in her mind. “If you like her so much...” She forced herself to stop the thought and headed toward the path back to the house. They could work out whatever they needed to without her. With her growing feelings for Will, she didn’t think she could stand hearing him declare his apathy toward her or their marriage.
As she tried to pass Will, his hand snaked out and caught her upper arm. His grasp was firm but not painful. His sudden movement stunned her and an energy zinged up her arm and left her short of breath.
“I’ll walk you up. You shouldn’t be out here alone at this time of night.” His voice was gruff but his hand gentle as he released her and then tucked her arm around his elbow as if they were out for a walk in the city. It made Abby feel protected. She would have been almost pleased if he hadn’t glanced over his shoulder and glowered at Colin.
“I’ll see you in the barn.” His voice promised that they still had unfinished business.
“I’ll be there,” Colin promised without heat in his voice or his eyes. “Good night, Abby. Get a good night’s sleep so that you can stay awake tomorrow. I hear the preacher can sometimes get a little long-winded.” His lips twitched and she tried not to smile at his teasing. Surely Will would take her laughing with Colin all wrong.
Once they were out of hearing distance, Will glanced at her, his scowl telling her all she needed to know. He was still upset.
“What were you thinking?” he questioned as if he were sure that she had gone completely crazy.
“I only wanted to take a walk. I wanted some air,” Abby argued, hurt that he would treat her like a small child. Tears threatened to spill over, frustrating her. In the last few months she had cried more than she had in years back in Ohio.
“You’ve been here long enough to know better. There are animals that hunt at night, coyotes and wolves, and there is still the possibility of Indian unrest. I don’t want you out at night. I don’t want...” The anger in his voice diminished as he talked.
“You never said I couldn’t take a stroll after dinner.” She dropped her voice and slowed her pace, forcing Will to slow with her. Suddenly she felt forlorn. Whom was she trying to fool? She had only managed to bother Will again. Sighing deeply, she trudged on.
“It gets dark fast. You should be in the house, safe and sound.” His voice carried on the still air of the evening and she wondered if Jake could hear them from the barn as they came into view of the barnyard. She had left the boys’ window open and didn’t want them waking at the sound of grown-ups arguing, either.
“Are you feeling all right?” His voice dropped and he slowed to a stop, turning her to face him in the shadows near the front of the house.
“I’m fine.” It wasn’t really a lie. She was healthy and uninjured—well enough to do all of her duties. If her heart was troubled... Well, he didn’t need to know that, did he?
“No, you just shivered. Did you get a chill down by the creek?” His voice spoke of his concern and it warmed her somewhere close to her heart.
“No. I’m fine,” she asserted more convincingly.
She wanted to tell him that she was shivering because he was upset with her and the fact broke her heart. That she cared about him, and hated the distance that had sprung up between them. But he didn’t want to hear any of that, so she mumbled an excuse and fled into the house. Once again, she curled up into a ball in her bed, hidden under her sheets, and cried her heart out to God.
Why did loving Will hurt so much? And now she knew that she did love Will. She longed to see him smile, wished he would hold her close and kiss her again, as he had done the day of their wedding. She missed him when he was out in the fields, away from her and the boys, and she missed him when he sat across the porch from her, within a stone’s throw and a million miles away. If only he could love her in return.
Chapter Ten
“And I would answer you that you are correct. It’s the very point Moses is trying to get us to understand. Just a few verses before, Moses writes that the days of man are fleeting and a thousand years for the Lord is like a day. He depicts our life like the grass that spouts in the morning and withers by the afternoon. We may have the next fifty years at our disposal or we may be standing in God’s presence later on this very day. Since we don’t know what the number is, then prudence would dictate we live every day as if it were to be our last—as if what we do with the next ten minutes may be the only legacy we leave behind.”
Colin looked out and caught Will’s eye. The church was crowded and Will wished there were more windows to open. It was stuffy inside and he felt grumpy and fidgety—though those feelings probably had less to do with the airless room and more to do with the way he had mishandled everything last night. Like a snorting bull, he had seen red when he finally found Abby contentedly conversing with Colin by the creek.
Colin’s words about treating each day as your last gave him a guilty shiver. Thank goodness the previous day hadn’t been his last one, because he sure would like to have done better. After dinner, he’d had the urge to stay and talk with his wife, but she had needed to bathe and get ready for the Lord’s Day. Finally settling on the pretext of checking to see if she was ready for the picnic the following morning, he’d gone back to the house. When he didn’t find her in the kitchen or in the boys’ room, he dared go toward her room only to find the door was still standing open. Assuming that she was in the outhouse he headed out the back door. His heart plummeted to his toes and his hands felt like ice when his search gave no clue as to where his wife had gone.
Instant Prairie Family (Love Inspired Historical) Page 15
