A gust of wind brought a chill as the light around us faded. “I think the dream is ending.”
“Yeah. Jasperilla, I’m exhausted, drained, like there’s nothing left in me. Don’t know how long I’m going to be here. Sing to me?”
I laughed a little because neither of our parents sang to us. We used to set up a fort, hid inside and sang each other to sleep when we were scared. I motioned for him to stretch out and rest his head on my lap. Once he closed his eyes, I began to sing his favorite.
Hey Jude
Don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better.
“Uh-uh. Next verse.” Jude yawned, sounding much younger than the eighteen years he lived. He was the boy under the fort who begged me to banish his monsters. “For nightmares and stuff.”
“Brat. You always make me skip verses.”
“Yup. Works better. Please?”
I ran my hands through his hair, grateful he couldn’t see my tears.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders
By the time I reached the last line, my brother had turned cold. He felt insubstantial, absent. I wept over his body until the darkness found me again.
✽ ✽ ✽
Fire burned through my nose and throat, yanking me back to my unfortunate reality. I gagged at the smell and jolted into a sitting position. Jordan knelt in front of me with an ammonia inhalant, and concern etched on his face.
A scream tried to claw its way out of my throat as I scuttled backward until I reached a wall. Slick, cold sweat coated my body. It was impossible to reconcile what I’d just experienced, spending time with my dead brother, seeing him tortured, and losing his memory.
These people possessed the knowledge of the entity or whatever-the-hell it wanted to call itself. They were aware of whatever assaulted my brother. I felt the wraiths return. They kept their distance, observing my reaction with something that She recognized as concern.
He wouldn’t let me go with you. You saw Jude? Did you feel Him? Jude’s guy?
I hurled every swear word, insult, and threat at her for leaving me alone. When I needed her most, She had abandoned me. She accepted the diatribe without argument. Her sole purpose was to protect me, and she failed.
I’m sorry, Jasper. I tried, but I couldn’t find you. I knew you saw Jude, and I tried to find his location, from wherever he was sent. Something blocked me.
While I lambasted my inner badass, the Circle members tried to reach me. I fought like a trapped animal, arms flailing, and teeth bared. I knew the answers I needed were behind those massive double doors. All I had to do was stand and follow them, but they were strangers, threats.
The wraiths pressed closer and became one with the wall. They joined my fight, tossing away Jordan and Danny as if they were nothing but pesky flies. Whispers touched my thoughts. Unlike Her, these were angry commands.
Throw them back with the wind. Tell them to retreat. Burn them. Kill them.
Whoa, buddy.
The last command jolted me out of my feral state. I whimpered and curled into a ball. My body felt like I’d been battered by hurricane-level winds. My poor brain was frazzled and refused to cooperate further. I stared at the retreating wraiths and the Circle members as they slowly recovered.
Danny rose, his lips pressed together in a furious scowl. This was the second time I’d attacked him, and he wanted revenge. Cecilia cringed in his arms, her eyes wide and body angling away from me.
Jordan and Mikael regarded me with morbid curiosity. Their hands twitched as if they wanted to restrain me and scrutinize me in a laboratory.
It was a testament to my pathetic shape that their contemplation soothed me. Neither man was afraid. Mikael leaned forward with a boyish fascination with his big eyes and mouth slightly ajar. He had a front-row seat to a never-before-seen spectacle and loved it.
Jordan, however, narrowed his eyes as he approached slowly. He held his hands up and spoke. “Jasper, can you hear me?”
My head bobbed up and down.
“Okay, good. I’m going to sit next to you.” He crept forward until he was a few feet away. “Promise not to gnaw on my arm? Use me as a punching bag?”
Although I hadn’t worked up to speaking, my scowl was enough.
He chuckled to himself and sat shoulder to shoulder. “Crappy day, huh? I’ll talk, and you can join the conversation when you’re ready.”
The man had the calm of a lion tamer and a sense of humor that would have tickled me in any other context. My head bobbed again.
“Cool. Most of the kids here call me Jordy. It pissed me off at first, but I like it now,” he said in a conversational tone. “In some ways, they’re different people. Jordan is the guy who gets things done. The soldier, assassin, whatever you want to call it. He’s cold and clinical, a strategist who executes without emotion. Jordy is different. He’s human if that makes any sense.”
Kindred. Listen. Watch. Learn.
“Jordy is the guy who holds a kid over his head so they can dunk a basketball, hates horror movies, and — if you tell anyone, I’ll have to kill you — teared up at the end of the last Fast and Furious movie. When I was younger, Jordan was my imaginary friend.” He ducked his head. “I know, I know. He’s a screwed-up friend. He taught me how to fight, how to hide, how to protect. There were some days when he was in charge, and all Jordy could do was watch in fascination or horror. Depended on the day.”
I licked my dry lips and tried to speak. I’d been trained to keep the secret for so long that the words couldn’t, wouldn’t come out on their own. I dug my nails into his arm and pleaded with him to understand silently.
Jordan, or Jordy, nodded. “I thought as much. It’s okay, Jasper. You’re both safe here. By the time I was, oh, fourteen or fifteen, Jordan was loud and strong enough that it was a constant battle to stay in control. He needed an outlet, so I found a place that let him vent his rage. I wasn’t a good person, Jasper. I hurt people for money and pleasure. As sick as I felt, I couldn’t bring myself to silence Jordan. When it came down to it, no one understood me better, and no one else protected me. Does she have a name?”
“She,” I whispered. “Just She or Her.”
“Oh, come on,” he teased. “Eighteen years and that’s your best effort? Jordan would have made my life miserable.”
“Split personalities?”
“No, not exactly. Do you remember what happened?”
Fear returned, a stone in my stomach that would never dissolve. Confinement, interrogation, and torture were just a few of the promises in Danny’s eyes.
Jordy touched my chin and brought my gaze back to his face. “Ignore him. You touched the stone and had a seizure that lasted roughly five minutes. When it was over, you were unconscious for another minute before you went feral.”
Six minutes. I was gone for six minutes, but it had felt like an eternity. My brother’s appearance eclipsed the big, bad shadowy dude, which was probably a terrible mistake because that had also seemed like a lifetime. I tried to wrap my mind around everything. The seizure accounted for why I felt so battered and bruised.
“Oh,” I said in a small voice. “What about the wraiths?”
“Those guys? They haven’t been active in some time. I’m just as curious as you. Jasper, I know you’re scared and tired. I wish I could tell you that your day was over, that you could crawl into bed and hide. But I won’t lie to you. We’re going to get up and go into the chamber. You’ll tell the High Council and the Circle where you traveled during those six minutes.”
“What if She objects?”
Jordy chuckled. “Tell Her that She can object when she has a name. Then She can deal with Jordan. And for the record? If you’re willing, I’ll teach you how to find that balance, so you’re not at odds with Her all the time. You might hate me after a few days, but you’ll learn.”
“Promise not to choke me again?”
“
I can’t promise that,” he replied as he rose and stretched. “But if I do, you’ll know ahead of time, and I’ll have already taught you how to break free. Deal?”
Words failed. I took his proffered hand and prayed that I wasn’t making a mistake.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE OVERHWHELMING SCENTS OF stale coffee, incense, and wax candles filled my nostrils as the massive doors to the High Council’s chamber swept open. The room was carved from the rocks deep underground, complete with glittering stalagmites hanging perilously from the high ceiling. My claustrophobia reared its ugly head and seized my chest. Oxygen was a luxury that my brain wasn’t permitted.
Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out.
Strong arms on either side of me supported my body and helped me along. Jordan. Mikael.
“We’ve got you,” Mikael said in his lilting accent. “It’s overwhelming, yes?”
“Yeah.”
He leaned close and whispered, “It has always reminded me of the chamber from the Potter books. Where the trials were held? Sometimes, I imagine a mythical creature will traipse through the room looking for its owner. If I had to choose, I would like a white owl. Who wants a rat?”
Laughter bubbled out and echoed in the room. I froze. That had to have been sacrilege of the highest magnitude. Guards or wraiths were around the corner, my imagination told me, and they had devious methods of torture already planned. Out of the frying pan and into the volcano; that described my life in a nutshell.
Instead, Dakarai looked up from the conference table in the middle of the chamber floor and flashed me those gleaming white teeth, the laugh lines around his eyes winking. “Oh, I would pass on the animal, Mikael. There are other ways to deliver messages. I’d prefer a broomstick.”
Cecilia scoffed. “Idiots, all of you. Hermione’s time-turner is the best. I’d go back and get another degree, travel abroad and do absolutely nothing. In the wrong hands, it would be disastrous. Can you imagine someone like Jasper trying to rectify past mistakes?”
The heat in the room disappeared. In its place was bone-chilling cold. Tightly controlled anger and disdain hovered in the air, crystalline and ready to explode. I patted myself down, peered at my hands and wracked my brain for any memory of doing this.
It wasn’t me.
Dakarai uncurled his body and stretched to his full height. Anger rolled from him in undulating pulses, growing as it devoured any source of heat. Ice crackled around the room, but Dakarai was bathed in light and steam. He was raw power, unchained and converging at a single target.
Yes! This is power, Jasper. We could have this. We could be this.
I didn’t envy the target of his inexplicable rage. I didn’t particularly like Cecilia, but I didn’t want to witness her death.
My intuition told me that Dakarai was one of the most powerful members of the Order if not the strongest. Whatever he decided, no one could stop him or block whatever he threw at the shaking, crying Cecilia.
Dakarai’s eyes lost their lovely normal brown pigment. Red and orange blended to create the illusion of flames being stoked. He was the terrifying god of fire. Perun. Malakbel. Huitzilopochtli. Sulis. Yuyi and Ra. Helios and Agni. Akycha. Neto, Dazbog, and Hors. Ares incarnate. The names came to me unbidden, plucked from a repository of knowledge within me that I didn’t know existed.
Gods and goddesses of ancient times with fire in their eyes.
Dakarai.
We were rooted to the ground, either paralyzed by fear or fixed in place by the thin layer of frost coating our bodies. When he spoke, his voice was flat and devoid of humanity.
“You mock power, yet you crave it. One such as Jasper can manifest and alter realities in ways you cannot comprehend. When the time comes, we will wield our abilities to save humanity. You will be of no consequence, except to cause the death of those you hold dearest.”
Dakarai’s hands glowed brightly. Unlike my own attempts, he was in full control. The fire in his eyes blazed crimson as he gathered the energy and heat he’d sucked out of the room and raised his arms.
Danny’s eyes bulged. He was a mere six feet away from Cecilia but was locked into place by the crystalline prison.
To my right, ice shattered and shimmered in the air for a heartbeat before pelting the ground and everyone rooted to it. Jordan moved with inhuman speed and threw himself in front of Cecilia.
“Dakarai,” he thundered. “Stop. This is madness and unnecessary violence only you can prevent. We don’t punish ignorance, and you’re not that flaming superhero from that awful movie you love. I’m not a sidekick friend. Don’t make me hurt you, Sparky.”
They were two gods on the eternal battlefield, taking one another’s measure. Pure energy pitted itself against whatever Jordan represented. The dimness of the chamber had distorted my vision because Jordan appeared larger, more menacing, something I hadn’t thought possible. Even his voice was transformed. The guttural sound resonated through my body like a powerful earthquake. Jordan was a warrior god and the only one willing to challenge Dakarai.
Doubt flickered in Dakarai’s eyes. It was the first sign of humanity he had shown since he went all the Human Torch on us. He shook his head and growled, “Move out of my way, beast. This does not concern you.”
Jordan broke the spell we’d all been under with a single derisive snort. “My ass. You’re endangering everyone in this room. Including your protégé, Jasper. Do you really want to crispy critter her before you have a chance to train her? We both know you’re the only one who can show her the path.”
The doubt returned, and Dakarai stared at me as if he’d never seen me before like I’d been brought to this moment where the sole purpose of helping Jordan make his point. The fire in his eyes dimmed as did the brightness of his hands.
“That’s it,” Jordan said carefully. The lion tamer stalked forward. “That’s right. You’ve got this. We can deal with the intentional misinformation and ignorance another time. She doesn’t know, Dakarai.”
A single tear rolled down Dakarai’s smooth sienna clay skin as he fell to his knees. The fire and heat emanating from him stuttered and extinguished.
Just as suddenly as the episode had begun, our icy prisons dissolved and turned to steam, leaving nothing behind but a chill deep inside my bones. The chamber was warm again as if someone had lit a fireplace for the sole purpose of warming us up after walking in from a blizzard. I wrapped my arms around myself and wished I had a sweater.
Jordan knelt next to Dakarai and whispered. Although I couldn’t make out the words, they resonated out to me. I was overcome by intense grief and guilt for something irreparable. Dakarai wept and leaned on his friend, the only person willing to challenge him, for support.
Danny pulled Cecilia into his arms and held her as she cried. He barked, “Get him the hell out of here. This is why we don’t let him out. He’s too dangerous, and Jasper will be just as volatile. For once in your godforsaken lives, listen to me. We need to lock them both away.”
The High Council, which had been silent until this point, sprang into action. Four of them surrounded Dakarai and Jordan and spoke in hushed voices. Two men, nearly identical in appearance in their black pants and button-down shirts, graying hair, and glasses helped Dakarai to his feet and settled him in a chair near the head of the table. Another retrieved a glass of water and, bizarrely, a fruit tray. Two other High Council members, tall and regal in their bearing, ushered Danny and Cecilia into an alcove I hadn’t noticed before.
Mikael and I stood side by side, holding hands and staring at the spectacle before us. It reminded me of my brother. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, someone reminding me of Jude and the comfort he always provided me, but in this madhouse, I took whatever I could get.
“Exciting day, yes?” Mikael grinned weakly. “I assure you most days aren’t like this. Your arrival has turned everything into a bit of a circus. It will be fine, I promise you.”
She smirked. We both doubted my a
rrival had been the catalyst for this insanity. From what I saw, there were dynamics and layers of politics that required years of study and acumen to understand.
“Can we leave and go grab a burger? Or do we have to stay here and wait for the dust to settle?”
Mikael laughed softly. “I wish. There is a hole in the wall diner nearby that makes the most exquisite greasy burgers with an egg on top. They call it a Texas burger. Fantastic for hangovers.”
Jordan waved us over with an impatient hand. We made our way to the large conference table and sat down to Dakarai’s left, while Jordan situated himself to Dakarai’s right. Danny and Cecilia had yet to reappear, but from the looks of it, I didn’t think anyone cared.
The four of us were joined by the thus far useless High Council members. I hoped that they said something to set them apart because I was very close to giving them random nicknames. The uniformity of the black outfits was distracting, probably not what was intended when instituted.
Dakarai, whose head was bowed, slowly reached his hand over towards me. I took it since I was terrified that he would fry me for any transgressions. His trembling hand enveloped mine.
“I am so sorry, Jasper. My lack of control is inexcusable, and I fear that I have done irreparable damage to your trust in me. I would never harm you.”
“Hey, don’t stress yourself over this. Everyone has a bad day, right? It just so happens that you and I blow up things on our bad days.” I gathered my courage and peered at him until he met my eyes. “Can you help me?”
Dakarai shook his head sadly. “I had hoped to work with you, but it may be too dangerous.”
Although we were whispering, the entire room was riveted by our conversation. Not a single person moved or even twitched.
Dakarai glared at them. “Don’t you have anything better to talk about?”
The man at the head of the table smiled grimly. He seemed to be the leader of the group. There was something about his carriage that reminded me of Danny, imperious and unyielding. An asshole.
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