“Don’t be sorry. Pay attention, don’t be afraid to ask questions, and execute.” The corner of his lips twitched. “No pun intended.”
“Dude!”
My protest broke his facade. He barked out a laugh. “Jasper, do you know why I haven’t lost my mind? Killed myself?”
Time to back away. The beast is close to the surface.
“Beast?” I immediately regretted saying the word aloud. Jordan’s eyes shuttered, and the azure became cobalt. The optical illusion, where he appeared to increase in mass and size, was back. He was a bigger, fiercer, more violent version of himself, otherworldly and awesome.
The elevator which had seemed spacious mere moments ago was suffocating. Jordan’s anger pushed against the walls, squeezing out excess oxygen. Gone was his perpetual scowl. It had been replaced by a warrior’s furor in the midst of a battle for his soul. He couldn’t have been more terrifying if he turned blue, sprouted funky hair, and exhibited claws.
“Beast,” he spat in a guttural voice. “Watch yourself, child. We hate that name.”
I blinked, and Jordan sipped his coffee once again, the slightest bit of humor in his half-smile.
“What… Jordan, what the hell was that?” I tried to swallow but found that I had neither saliva nor tears to convey my growing terror. “You were… I said… blue.”
“Explain.”
The elevator arrived with a thud. Its doors opened silently and politely waited for us to leave its confines. I stepped out into yet another nondescript corridor and backed up against the adjacent wall.
Stepped was too kind. Jumped, stumbled backward, and flailed as I landed on my ass was more accurate. Smooth as always.
I shrank into myself and willed myself invisible. When that failed to produce any results, I crouched into a ball and pressed harder, waiting for a magical secret door to whisk me away. I wasn’t so lucky. I was stuck there with a monster. A literal monster. “You changed. Y-y… you told me to watch myself. Please don’t hurt me.”
He scowled and crossed his arms. Bad move, considering it brought back the visceral memory of being choked by the mother of all biceps. “Why on Earth would you think I’d hurt you?”
“What’s wrong with you? You can’t do something like that and expect me to stay calm.”
Jordan rolled his eyes. “What did you see? Any heralds of the almighty? Dire warnings of impending doom? No? Good. Let’s get moving. You’re cutting into your workout time.”
I shook my head and whimpered. “Uh-uh. How do I know you won’t Hulk out and attack me?” The cool white walls of the corridor cast eerie light around him in the pre-dawn hours. It illuminated the harsh lines of exhaustion. And if I wasn’t mistaken, there were lines of grief and rage around his eyes. “If you can’t remember what you said two minutes ago, why should I believe you?”
He opened his mouth to speak but caught himself. “Did my appearance seem to change?”
“Uh, yeah. Why else would I freak out?”
Those hard eyes softened. “Ah. That. I’m sorry for scaring you. It wasn’t intentional, and it won’t happen again.”
“Sorry, I’m not betting my safety on a promise.”
He sighed and scratched at the stubble that seemed as much a part of him as that scowl. “Jasper, when She takes control, are you aware?”
“Sometimes. She lets me watch, and sometimes She’ll even listen to me, but I’m present. Is that what happened? Did Jordan take over for Jordy? Who are you right now?”
I stared at his proffered hand. There was no doubt in my mind that his strong, calloused fingers could snap my neck with minimal effort, yet, I knew those same hands could just as easily cradled someone in pain and cared for them with the gentleness of a mother hen.
“Jordy,” he said quietly. “Jordan has been close to the surface since we met. His interest in you is unexpected. It’s out of character even for him.”
“And you?”
Jordan — Jordy — smiled slightly and helped me to my feet. “Also uncharacteristic and unexpected. I haven’t worked out my theory on this just yet.”
She decided to get involved at the worst time. I felt Her prod something outside of me, something that responded with a hesitant curiosity. Our alter egos sniffed one another like two dogs being introduced.
I like this one. Stay with the beast. He will protect you at all costs.
Jordy guided me down one hallway after another until we arrived at the main gymnasium. I knew that because there was a sign telling me as much posted over the entrance. Mr. Brooding wasn’t much of a help when it came to teaching me how to get around.
He opened the door and gestured with the flourished pride of a proud papa bear. “This is one of two places I go to relax. If you can’t find me, there’s a good chance I’m here.”
“Uh-huh,” I replied automatically. He’d lost my attention to the behemoth arena before us. Situated on a single floor, the gymnasium stretched across what must have been the footprint of the entire compound. The designer had forgone the usual series of rooms and instead created an open, welcoming space separated into functional areas. It was a playground for kids of all ages.
The weight “room” was delineated by a low guardrail that allowed one to keep an eye on the other sections. Across from us, open doors revealed small studios for yoga, Pilates, and small classes.
Jordy cleared his throat. “This is the main facility. I have a few smaller training rooms that I use when I’m not in the mood to socialize or when I’m doing individual training.”
“How many jobs do you have?”
A ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “Entirely too many. I’m not a personal trainer if that’s what you’re implying. I only train my friends and those under my direct aegis. Honestly, I have neither the time nor the patience to work with anyone else.”
Ouch.
I ducked my head to hide that stupid flush of embarrassment. “I’m sorry for adding to your workload.”
“You’re not.” Jordy dropped his bag in front of a large slice of empty mat. “It’s before dawn, and I’m usually here at this time. I don’t mind the company.”
If I weren’t convinced that the man was either oblivious or indifferent to the world around him, I would have sworn that his ruddy complexion darkened with an embarrassed flush high on his cheeks.
“Oh,” I said with enough curiosity to catch his eye. “Well, thanks. Can I be honest?”
“Sure.” He reached his arms over his head in a deep stretch and yawned.
“Dakarai said that you’re going to destroy me and find me lacking.”
Jordy barked out a surprised laugh. “That jerk. He’s just bitter because he couldn’t keep up with me yesterday. I won’t lie, Jasper. Training with me is going to be brutal. I’m not going to coddle you or give you so-called girly exercises. You’ll keep up with me, or you’ll find someone else to train you.”
I gulped and hoped that Jordy wasn’t a coach of the Sue Sylvester ilk. “Do I get a learning curve?”
“Of course, silly. I’ll make you a deal. Let’s get through this assessment quickly. If you’re not in horrible shape, I’ll spring you from Quasimodo’s Tower. We can run laps at the park.”
✽ ✽ ✽
“You’re a devious, cruel man.”
Jordy laughed. “You say the same thing every morning. And afternoon. I’m convinced you curse my name in your sleep.”
“Spending time with you is bad for my health.”
That was a lie. In six weeks, I’d replaced what baby fat I’d had with rock-solid muscles. I was down to a nine-minute mile and had been proclaimed ready for combat training. My body had never so looked or felt better.
“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself those lies. Are you excited about tomorrow?”
“Am I excited for the training you told me would be more brutal than anything I’d ever done? Or are you asking if I’m excited for you to punch me in the face?”
Jordy draped a sweaty arm over
my sweatier shoulders and led me from the main gym. Unlike me, he ignored the surrounding people who gawked and gossiped about us. Most people treated him with deferential respect.
Me? I was the subject of speculation that had recently turned sordid. It was high school all over again. Although I’d asked Jordy to train in one of the private studios, he insisted that it was good for me to be around the other occupants.
I disagreed.
The Order was worse than a college dormitory. While most apartments had their own kitchens, the dining halls were always full. Families sat in groups. The older kids gathered in corners to play some sort of role-playing game with cards and die. The younger ones jumped and screamed with excitement.
Every.
Frigging.
Night.
Dakarai’s preference to stay in the QT, as we now called it, made a lot more sense. I joined him for most meals. Lately so had Jordy. They took turns creating stunning culinary masterpieces with vibrant flavors and scents that had me acting like Pavlov’s dog. I took over cleaning up after meals, but it was a joke. They both cleaned as they cooked. My task amounted to little more than loading a dishwasher and waxing poetic about everything I’d eaten.
Likewise, I’d taken to avoiding crowds in favor of quieter, more enjoyable nooks and crannies, the inhospitable gymnasium being the only exception.
The morning’s pleasantness came to an abrupt end as a group of teenagers sniggered and pointed.
“She’s not his usual type,” I heard a scrawny guy with glasses say. He poked his friend’s side and pointed. “Do you know who she is?”
I knew that most people speculated about my identity and my relationship to some of the most influential people in the Order. I’d heard every one of their theories before: I was someone’s long-lost sister, new support staff for the upper echelons, an orphan, an unsuspecting pawn, or Jordy’s girlfriend.
Their words infuriated me. Apparently, I was someone needy and helpless.
Screw them. Or kill them. Whatever you decide, get over it. Time grows short.
She was back with smashing advice. Brilliant, darling, really. It blew my mind that She was okay with murder as long as it snapped me out of this temporary funk.
I seriously considered it when the little shits kept talking.
“I wonder how hard she has to work to keep his attention.”
Jordy patted my shoulder and kissed my cheek. “Jasper, go on out. I’ll catch up to you in a minute.”
“What? Why? It’s the same kids who’ve been talking crap about me all week. Dakarai told me to ignore them.”
“Guess I didn’t get the memo. Go.” The word was soft, but the command was not. “You don’t need to see this.”
“See what?” Misdirection used to work with my parents and siblings. They got lost in my Socratic questions. By the time they figured out my game, they were so twisted around that they’d only remembered they’d been angry with me. “What is it that you don’t want me to see?”
One of the teenagers in the group, a wannabe jock with budding muscles and acne, snorted. “She must have some mind control voodoo because she’s not that pretty. She must have found a way to trap the big bad McAllister. Smug bitch.”
Jordy blinked, and the telltale change in eye color warned me that things were about to go wrong. “Get out,” said Jordan.
“No.” She was no help because She liked the beast. We’d sparred a few times, and it was like Christmas come early until he knocked us on our communal ass three consecutive times. “Jordan, don’t do this. They’re not worth it.”
“I protect what is mine. Go.”
He didn’t wait for a response but instead turned from me and strode off toward the group.
Teen Jockstrap was either new or stupid because he squared his shoulders and smirked. His friends backed away, but he didn’t care.
Jordan growled. “You don’t look at her. You don’t speak to her. Understand?”
Teen Jockstrap rolled his eyes. “Or what? You’ll get in trouble if you touch me. My parents are in the Circle. Run along before I have you destroyed.”
The water I was drinking spurted from my nose. The kid was so full of crap. I doubt he knew what the Circle was, and I was positive his parents weren’t in it.
“What, bitch?” The kid had a death wish. He raised his hands as if to invite me to fight him. The crowd gathering around us was silent, but he took the growing number as encouragement.
She was positively gleeful. If She’d taken control, She would have clapped our hands and bounced on our toes. The idea of Jordan fighting someone over us was damn near orgasmic for both of us.
There was no warning. Jordan had the Teen Jockstrap pinned to the floor beneath him. Blood spurted through the air as those hammer-of-the-gods fists pounded the kid’s face.
I looked around wildly. No one made a move to break up the fight. Adults covered the eyes of children, but it didn’t help. The sickening sound of flesh being pounded and bone breaking were chilling enough.
“Jordy! Jordan!”
He paused for a moment. One of his massive hands flexed around the kid’s neck. The other dripped with blood. “What?”
“Stop. It’s over.” I crept forward knowing that both Teen Jockstrap and I were both in mortal peril. Jordan was unpredictable, violent and, dear God, he was fast. He could kill us both before I’d have time to register that he moved. “Jordan.”
“What?”
Gulping, I put my hand on his shoulder. “Hey. Hi. It’s me. You recognize me, right? The one you’re protecting?”
He’d just pulverized Teen Jockstrap’s face, but he wasn’t even breathing heavy. His face registered nothing other than mild annoyance with me. “I repeat: What do you want?”
She suggested that I continue with the physical contact because She was convinced that my voice was his anchor to reality. He just needed to understand that his charge was safe.
I tried to soften the fear in my voice. “I’d love it if you’d walk out with me. Someone promised me a Netflix movie marathon.”
Jordy bit his lip and frowned. His eyes flickered between shades. “Not now.”
“Please?”
Someone had run outside and invited everyone to see the “fight of the century.” The collective body heat and morbid fascination pressed in from all sides. I didn’t need Her to sense the probing energies, angry and pulsing, that were being directed at us.
One energy, stronger than the rest, sluiced through all the others. It was angry, and it wanted to hurt me. Jordan’s presence was the only reason it hadn’t attacked. I wasn’t an expert on weird energies, but I knew that this threat was from within the Order.
I pressed into Jordan’s side and tugged on his arm. There was no way to know if the energy was hostile or if it was even human. “Jordy,” I whispered, “I need to get out of here. Can’t you feel it? I don’t need protection from this dipshit, but I’m afraid of whatever is coming toward us.”
Jordy/Jordan shook his head like a wet dog. He glared in the direction of the hostile energy. After a long moment, the pulsing, sickening feeling disappeared. When he looked at me again, his eyes had returned to normal. He stood and frowned at the blood on his hands.
“He’ll be fine,” he announced to the crowd. “Just broken bones and some bruises. This? A warning to anyone who dares to misuse the name of the Order or the Circle.”
“All that was a lesson?”
“Nope. The little shit has been testing the limits with me for a few weeks. He’ll stop talking about you. I broke his jaw.”
Jordy grabbed our bags and slung his arm around me once more. The crowd parted comically fast, and I walked through it with my own personal Moses.
Instead of heading to the private gym, Jordy lead me back to Quasimodo’s Tower. He talked about everything except what just happened. I learned the history behind every painting and photograph in the corridors that led toward quiet and safety. Except for the blood on his hands and m
y wariness, there was nothing unusual about the walk. The elevator still moved silently, and the corridor was still obnoxiously red with cream accents.
Nothing had changed. Except it had. Jordy had been in better control than he’d let on earlier. I’d seen him struggle with Jordan before and this wasn’t it. That was Jordy making a statement and scaring people into following the rules. Jordan would have killed the lot of them.
Jordy took my hand in his. “If you don’t have plans, would you like to go to breakfast? I’ll spring you from the compound and take you to one of the better places around here.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ipulled a knit cap over my head and yanked up the zipper of my new down coat. My other one had been shredded from my night in the woods, and I didn’t have anything else to combat the chill.
When I’d arrived in late September, it had been chilly, bordering on cold in the evenings. I hadn’t the faintest clue of the temperature until Jordy returned with cold weather gear.
The sky was a flat gray, an improvement from the pewter canvas that had provided to the backdrop to nasty lightning storms the previous week. The temperature was ripe for a sleet storm. Even the drug dealers, whom Mikael had pointed out from the small window in his room, huddled together for warmth in front of the corner bodega.
Everything from the awnings of the stores to the streets signs was dingy and faded, giving the impression of a strange post-apocalyptic outpost in the middle of the modern world.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
Jordy lifted the hood of his sweater over his baseball cap and smiled. “Didn’t I tell you that we’d go out for breakfast?”
I snorted. Jordy, for all his ferocity, was more clueless than most guys I knew. “That was a month ago.”
“No way. Well, better late than never?” He slipped on a pair of fingerless gloves and took my hand as he led me out of the building.
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