by Anna Park
“I know you were, that’s why I’m asking.”
Gianna sat down beside her. She poured Lia a glass of water from the pitcher that was sitting on the table. Lia sipped the cool water slowly and she and Gianna sat in a comfortable silence.
“So?” Her aunt broke the silence, when she saw that Lia was finished with her water.
“It’s just… I’m just reliving the most humiliating moment of my past. Kind of dampens my excitement about the lab.”
Gianna moved closer to her and hugged her. The comforting hug calmed Lia and she leaned on Gianna and watched the fan blades spin madly on the ceiling.
“Can you ladies come in here, I can’t make these raviolis all by myself.” Paulo peeked through the door, his green eyes surly.
“Wait a minute, just do what you can.” Gianna replied, not in the least stressed.
“Lia. You have a tremendous opportunity in front of you. Don’t let anyone get in the way of your dreams.”
Lia nodded.
“When I was sick, I didn’t let the doctors stop me from living my dream. My cancer was just a little obstacle that was thrown my way to test my resolve. And now, here I am, living my dream.”
Gianna was Lia’s hero. Three years ago, she had been hit with a huge tumor in her colon; so big that the doctors doubted she would live past six months. They had pretty much written her off when they saw that the tumor had spread to her liver. Gianna had proved them all wrong.
Lia reached over, hugging her aunt.
“Thank you Gianna, for that dose of perspective. I can be so petty sometimes.”
Gianna grabbed Lia’s hand. “Now let’s go make some ravioli before pretty boy throws a fit.”
Lia laughed. Only Gianna could handle Paulo and all his flaws. They walked into the kitchen and saw Paulo furiously making ravioli. They were uniformly-shaped and perfect; even under duress Paulo had the golden touch. “Finally, now I can breathe,” he said. He looked tense.
“Lia, put the raviolis on trays, we need more room here.” Lia gingerly picked up the little works of art, praying that she wouldn’t damage any of them.
“So how’s your sister doing?” Paulo often asked about Alex. She had never given him the time of day, but that seemed to fuel his interest even more.
“She’s fine, I guess. I haven’t talked to her in a few days.” Alex was a great source of frustration for her. Her beautiful college-dropout sister spent half her life hungover, and the other half hooking up with random guys. She hadn’t ever recovered from their dad’s death five years ago. Gianna gave Lia’s shoulders a squeeze. She knew how hard it was to think about her family.
“Have you talked to mom?” Lia asked quietly. Lia’s mother hadn’t spoken to her since she had staged an intervention to remove all the alcohol from her home. Gianna shook her head. She tried to call her sister every day, but it was hard to talk to her.
“Try this.” Gianna popped a slice of freshly-sliced mozzarella in Lia’s mouth.
“Mm, amazing.”
“Want a caprese salad?”
“Sure. Just a tiny bit of cheese, please.”
Gianna reached for the ripe heirloom tomatoes on the counter. She sliced one thin, then added some slivers of mozzarella. A quick dash of olive oil, some salt and pepper, a handful of basil leaves, and she handed the plate to Lia.
“Eat,” she ordered.
Lia bit into the juicy tomatoes and soft mozzarella, savoring every bite. Gianna was working with Paulo, the two of them filling and sealing raviolis in sync.
This was a good place to call home. Gianna and Paulo had become Lia’s family, stepping in for the one she had lost. Not a day went by without thinking of her dad; his absence was like an appendage that was going to be with her for the rest of her life. The noise of customers brought Lia back to the present. She slipped on her white apron, and slid to the front of the restaurant. The rest of the evening was a whirlwind of welcoming and seating customers.
By the time Lia had a chance to stop and think, it was almost 10 p.m.
She and Gianna wiped down the kitchen. Lia sat down in a plastic folding chair, taking a deep breath.
“That was a good evening Gianna.”
“Yes, lots of new faces. I love it.” Gianna beamed, even though she had bags under her eyes.
“I should get some reading done. I’m going to go into lab.”
“Why don’t you read here?” Gianna asked.
“It’s easier for me to focus in lab. It should take me an hour or two. Then I can come home and relax.”
“Okay, sweetie.” Gianna stood up. “I’m heading upstairs, I want to add a video about my butternut squash filling.”
Lia smiled. Her aunt was a mini-celebrity. She had her own YouTube Channel: Gianna’s Italian Tidbits.
“Get some rest too,” she said. She always worried that Gianna was pushing herself too hard. On the other hand, she was so clearly in love with her life, that she must be doing something right.
Lia gave her aunt a kiss on the check, grabbed her backpack, and headed out into the warm evening. She loved summer in Boston, and she hoped that the warmth would last a few more weeks.
The streets were quiet; nothing like the weekend evenings, when the sidewalks were bustling with laughing people. Lia hopped on the blue line. As the train lurched forward she looked at her reflection. She still hadn’t gotten used to the new thin version of herself. Thirty pounds lost made a big difference on her 5’5” frame. She liked it, but she still felt like she was in a stranger’s body.
*************
Colin liked the quiet evenings in lab. The only noise was the humming of the fluorescent lights and the freezers. No questions from other students, asking him how to prepare solutions or where some obscure chemical was located. He sat down at his desk, settling into the padded chair he had taken from Dr. P’s office. He took a sip of his coffee, as he pored over the latest issue of Nature. That’s my next goal. A paper in Nature.
Colin had been published in other top journals, but he hadn’t yet published in the elusive and exclusive publication. Maybe by Christmas. If I can get some more data by October.
He ran his hands through his hair.
“Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m here.” The soft voice startled him out of his focus. He turned towards the speaker. He felt his heart rushing faster. His knees felt weak and he fought for the right words.
“Oh. Hey.” Why is she here now?
Lia stood in front of him, wearing a very conservative pair of khakis and buttoned up blouse. He blushed as he imagined himself opening her blouse, one button at a time. Was she hiding a lacy bra under that boring blouse?
“Uh...Have a seat,” he said gruffly. Colin was never tongue-tied around women; he didn’t understand why she had this effect on him. He felt his heart beating hard. I hope she can’t hear that. He tugged at his collar, trying to cool himself off.
As she sat down, he caught a whiff of basil and tomatoes. His mouth watered. He watched Lia pull her papers out of her backpack, carefully arranging them on the table. She was so gentle and meticulous.
“You need any help?” he asked. He moved his chair closer to hers.
“I’m good,” she replied curtly. She pushed her chair away from him and gripped the paper she was about to read. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Lia looked down at the paper.
“Uh...I...ok.” She glanced at him and he saw her eyes for a brief second. Just as quickly, she looked back down at her paper. Her legs were tightly clenched and she sat upright in her chair.
Colin pictured himself massaging her shoulders, as she relaxed in his strong arms.
He wanted to pull her hair out of her obedient ponytail and see her hair flowing over her shoulders.
“You know...Uh, that’s a good paper to start with.”
Lia pressed her lips into a tight line and clenched her jaws. She breathed short, tense breaths. I’m really ticking her
off.
“I’m sorry,” he offered. Lia’s body relaxed a little and she looked at him fully this time.
“It’s okay.” Her voice was softer. She looked so pretty when he could actually see her face. Without makeup, her beauty was subtle and understated. Her large green eyes were kind with a hint of vulnerability.
“You know, you’re different from how I remember you,” he ventured. As soon as he said it, he regretted his choice of words.
Lia’s eyes flashed with an emotion that looked like anger, but he couldn’t tell for sure.
“What do you mean?” She sat up straight again. Her eyes looked straight at him, waiting for an answer.
“Oh, um, you were much larger—I mean, you’re thinner now.” He wanted to crawl under his desk and hide. I’m going to get it now. Lia stood up suddenly. The chair rolled away from her. She crossed her arms, covering her chest. He heard the lab clock ticking as she stared at him. Tick tock tick tock.
“Well, thanks for letting me know.” Lia glared at him. If she could have spat at him, he was sure she would have. Her nostrils flared slightly as she breathed in and out.
What the hell is wrong with me? I know how to work women.
“I’m sorry, I meant you look good.” He felt himself turning red.
Lia looked even more annoyed. “I’m going to read at the library.” She stood up and stuffed the papers into her bag, wrinkling some in the process. “Excuse me,” she said. He was blocking her exit. She looks so cute.
“Wait.” He stood up and put his hand in front of her. It landed on the curve of her waist. She stopped suddenly, her eyes wide. He felt her tremble slightly. Her eyes softened and he saw her lips part.
He felt himself getting excited. A tingling and warm sensation filled his body, and his breathing turned shallow and rapid. He leaned in towards her, struggling to resist her irresistible pull on him. They stood together, his face close to her face, his arm barely touching her waist.
“Let me go.” She pushed his hand away, and he watched her walk away. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her perfect little butt. Colin stared at the door after it slammed shut behind her. His body felt heavy and cold.
CHAPTER THREE
Colin couldn’t work anymore. Thinking about Lia frustrated him to no end, and he didn’t seem to know what to say to make things normal between them. He slammed down his paper and picked up the lab phone next to him to call his friend Noah.
“Hey bro, you wanna meet at Ernie’s?”
Forget introductions and pleasantries.
“Uh yeah, okay, why not?” His laid back mathematician friend was always up for a beer. He said it helped him think more creatively.
Colin combed back his hair with his hands, and smoothed his shirt. Not that there’s anyone to impress at Ernie’s, but what the hell.
He stood up, his tall 6’4’’ frame filling the doorway as he walked out of the lab. He was a catch, he knew that, but he had yet to have a long-term relationship with a woman. It was all fun and games for him.
He stepped out into the warm air, breathing in the fresh air. Ernie’s was the local grad student dive bar, conveniently only a block from lab. Colin walked up the familiar steps, looking to the right as he opened the door.
“Hey Turtle.” Colin slapped the bouncer’s shoulder.
“Hey man, what’s up? Any chicks with you tonight?” Turtle knew every patron’s love history, and made sure to keep up to date on the latest happenings.
“Nah, just me and Noah tonight.”
“Keepin’ it low key, good.”
“I still owe you a game man, maybe later?” Colin and Turtle had a friendly rivalry at the pool table.
“Sure thing, brother.”
Colin’s eyes adjusted to the dark atmosphere inside the bar. The place smelled of old beer and unbathed graduate students.
I don’t think Lia would like it here. Ugh, why am I thinking about her again?
“Hey Colin, wassup?” Noah came up behind him, hitting him a too hard on his back.
He was kind of skinny, but muscular. He didn’t realize his strength sometimes.
“Ouch man, don’t kill me now.” Colin laughed. They were the most unlikely friends, just judging by appearances. Colin was tall and drop-dead gorgeous; Noah was skinny and barely broke 5’8”. Colin teased him about his pretty hair; Noah had shiny brown hair that any girl would envy.
“Beer.” Noah didn’t need to say more than that.
At the bar, Chad the bartender was busy mixing up some Long Island Ice Teas for a group of women.
“Hey boys, you want one too?” Their ringleader looked pointedly at Colin, licking her lips and flicking her shiny blond hair. Noah nodded. “Go for her, she’s hot.”
“Sure, I’ll take one.” Why not? I need some fun.
Chad winked at Colin knowingly and gave him a furtive thumbs up. He handed the drink to the blonde woman, and she sauntered over to Colin. “I’m Krystal.” Her blue eyes looked straight at him. “Colin,” he said. She handed him the drink and clinked her glass against his. “Cheers.” He gulped down the strong drink. The alcohol hit him immediately. Krystal wiped his mouth with her manicured fingers, sucking on them. “Yum.” Colin was surprised that he didn’t feel anything when she did that.
Krystal grabbed his hand. “Come.” She pulled him over to a couch in the corner. “Sit down.” Colin sat, and his eyes followed her long legs in tight jeans all the way to her large chest in a sparkly halter top. Krystal opened her legs and kneeled onto the couch, straddling him. She licked her very full lips.
Colin put his hands on her behind, expecting to feel aroused. Nothing. He felt cold. Krystal was heavy on his lap, and he just wanted to get up.
“I should go.” Krystal resisted as he tried to remove her. “Come on, cutie pie. You know you want this.”
“No.” He looked at her. Krystal’s eyes narrowed. “Fine.” She stood up quickly and walked back to her friends. “Wet blanket,” he heard her say and her posse burst out laughing.
Colin went back to Noah who looked puzzled. Chad gave him a questioning look.
Noah’s eyes widened. “Dude, why?”
“Yeah, she’s hot, but I don’t know, I’m not feeling it.”
Noah shrugged. “So what’s up man?”
“It’s weird. There’s this girl. I knew her from before, but it was at my college graduation party. She was a freshman crashing our party, and totally drunk off her ass. Lots of things happened, but we never kept in touch or anything.”
“Uh huh.” Noah’s eyes widened.
“So turns out she’s my mentee in lab, Dr. P just introduced her to me.”
“Shit, no way, what are the odds?” As a Math major, Noah was probably calculating the odds in his head.
“It’s been so weird. I think she hates me for some reason —”
“And you’re stuck working together...Yeah that blows.”
Colin felt relieved. Just telling someone about it, made things seem better.
“Do you like her?” Noah wasn’t letting this go.
“Eh, she’s okay.” Colin looked to the side. This was too personal, he wasn’t going to embarrass himself.
“Just okay?” Noah smiled.
“Yup.”
No she’s not just okay. She’s got long legs and a perfect butt and the most gorgeous green eyes and she smells so good.
“How ‘bout you man, anything new?”
Noah took a slow sip of his beer and paused. “Well actually yes. I did meet this girl at a party a couple nights ago, and she’s great.” His face was beaming.
“Oh really?”
“She’s really cute, and a medical student, so sexy you know?”
“Does she like you?” Colin wanted to make sure his friend was grounded in reality. Noah had a track record of friendships masquerading as love. Girls felt safe around him.
“Well she kissed me.”
“Da
mn. Well dude, be careful.”
“I know.”
“Don’t fall too hard too fast. Women are fickle creatures, and just as you most need and love them most, they disappear.”
Noah looked at Colin sympathetically.
“Colin, I know how hard it is for you to trust women after what your mom did. But Anu is not like that, I promise.”
Colin felt his chest tighten. His friend had called him out and he was right. Hearing about his mom made him tense up.
“Have you ever figured out where she went after she left you guys?”
“All I know is that she is somewhere in the woods with some hippie guy. Never calls.”
Colin’s head felt like it was going to explode. He grabbed his beer mug and chugged the rest of his beer. The cold beer soothed him as it went down. Soon his memories would be fuzzy.
“Colin. Don’t you think you should get some help man?” Noah was a touchy-feely therapy-going guy, and not ashamed of it.
“I’m fine.” He stood up. “Let’s play a round.” He stumbled a bit as he headed for the pool tables.
*************
Lia’s steps were brisk as she crossed the Longfellow Bridge spanning the Charles River. The lights of the buildings reflected off the glassy dark surface. She walked and walked without stopping. The events of that evening were playing over and over in her head. If she stopped, she would be too overpowered to move. Go go go.
Their touch at the end had lingered too long. Was it just her imagination? Was she the one who hadn’t wanted to let go? Such a brief connection, but so powerful. She thought back to their first meeting at the graduation party. She had seen him across the room, looking intently at her. Those brown eyes that made her melt inside.
“Hold me,” she had asked Colin and he had wrapped his strong arms around her. They had swayed to the music, her head resting against his strong chest. His hand had stroked her hair and the thumping of his heart had calmed her. That moment of connection had eased the pain she had been feeling since her dad had died.
His smell, his comforting smell. The strength she had needed. They had talked about everything. He understood her. He was the first person she had really talked to about her dad. “Right after my dad died, I would drive around in my car and scream at the top of my lungs so that no one could hear me.” He had held her hands and comforted her with his eyes.
