‘Thanks a bunch!’ I say.
‘I’m trying to help,’ she says, brandishing the kitchen scissors as she peers critically at my fringe. ‘Be grateful! OK, it’s a close call, but I think maybe we should let that ratty fringe grow out.’
‘I like my fringe!’ I argue. ‘And it’s not ratty!’
‘You hide behind it,’ she counters. ‘And trust me, Eden, your hiding days are over.’
I stick my tongue out at Andie, laughing.
‘Don’t ever be a hairdresser,’ I warn her. ‘You’re way too bossy!’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t,’ she replies, and her eyes look shadowed, just for a moment. Then she’s back on form, turning up the music – old stuff, happy stuff from the days when we used to hang out and not the crashy, clashy misery-rock I usually listen to.
‘So … I was thinking hair slides, but actually, if I tie this scarf in your hair it’s kind of vintage-cool and tomboyish at the same time, and it hides the fringe. OK, time to get changed and then I can do your make-up.’
‘But I want to see my hair!’
‘Not yet. It’s gorgeous, just trust me on that!’
I give in. I turn my back on Andie, change into my new stuff and give a little twirl. She nods her approval, sitting me down beside the dressing table to get started on the make-up. I lean back and relax into it. We spent hours doing exactly this when we were eight or nine, stealing our mothers’ make-up and taking it in turns to play at being guinea pig for each other’s makeover skills. We channelled everything from Lady Gaga glam to zombie apocalypse, with a side order of vampire chic. Andie is taking this just as seriously.
‘You don’t need foundation,’ she tells me as the make-up brush strokes shadow on my eyelids. ‘No spots or anything, just those freckles, which are super-cute. And that heavy black eyeliner is OK, but I’m going to use brown and keep it natural, OK? Dark brown mascara, too. And I’m using quite a vivid blue on your eyelids, and just a tiny smear of glitter, so we won’t bother with lipstick because the eyes are the focus with this look. Hold still!’
I try not to think too much, or worry too much. Andie knows what she’s doing. The idea of the looming party terrifies me, but my best friend has my back, just like she always did. It might actually be fun.
A few minutes later, I am standing in front of the mirror, ready for the big reveal. I’ve slipped Ryan’s tattered paper crane into the pocket of my shorts for good luck, and when Andie whips the towel away from the glass I see my reflection at last, a slim, grinning girl with golden-brown wavy hair and a cute, quirky outfit. The teal-blue tights make my legs look longer and the eye make-up has opened up my eyes – made them look wide, sparkly, startlingly blue. Amazingly, I like it. I look like me, but a better, brighter version of the me I haven’t seen in years.
Maybe I will chuck out the hair dye and straighteners after all.
For a moment, my eyes blur and then I square my shoulders and blink back the tears, because I don’t cry, can’t cry, daren’t cry.
‘Like it?’ Andie asks, anxious.
‘Love it!’
I throw my arms round her and hold on tight, as if I might never let go.
23
Ryan
I forget about Lara’s party until I’m crossing the park with Buzz and Chris on Friday evening and see Chloe, Flick and Ima all dolled up in bright dresses and fancy shoes.
‘Hello, girls!’ Buzz leers. ‘Going somewhere nice? Can we come?’
‘In your dreams,’ Chloe snaps.
‘Playing hard to get?’ Chris growls. ‘C’mon, lighten up! Tell us where you’re going – we’ll come too. Spice things up a bit!’
‘Yeah, right,’ Ima says under her breath, tugging at her sparkly headscarf so it hides a little more of her face. I don’t blame her, to be honest. Buzz and Chris are a kind of clunky when it comes to chat-up lines.
‘Ignore my friends,’ I say with a sigh, stepping forward. ‘What they mean to say is, hello, how are you? Nice evening, isn’t it?’
At that moment, Rocket appears from out of the bushes, skidding to a halt in front of them, panting wolfishly. This spoils things slightly, and all three girls take a step back, awkward, wary. Their eyes skim from Rocket to me, and they do not look impressed, In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were scared, but that’s crazy. Buzz and Chris are boneheads, sure, but I’m just the sidekick, the comic relief. In spite of the javelin rumours, I’m not actually scary, surely?
‘So,’ I say, smiling broadly to put them at ease. ‘Going to the party?’
‘Er, no,’ Chloe responds. ‘Maybe. Whatever …’
‘What party?’ Buzz grumbles, slightly put out. ‘I didn’t get an invite!’
‘Lara Keehoe’s party,’ Chris says. ‘Who needs an invite? We’ll gatecrash – might be fun!’
Buzz runs a hand through his hair and fixes on his scariest grin. ‘Cool,’ he says. ‘Let’s go, ladies! The night is young!’
The girls look genuinely terrified at the thought, and scaring girls is really not my style. I jump to the rescue.
‘Nah, it’s still early,’ I tell my friends. ‘The party won’t warm up for hours. Besides, I’m not taking Rocket to a rave. I’m gonna go home, have a shower, get changed; who knows, it could be my lucky night!’
‘Yeah, yeah, we should spruce up first,’ Chris agrees. ‘Obviously. Look our best for the chicks.’
‘I’ll nick some cans from my dad,’ Buzz decides. ‘Or a bottle of cider, maybe. Get things going a bit!’
Chloe, Flick and Ima are edging away, trying to escape. I fall into step beside them, throw a wink at Buzz and Chris to try to keep them at a distance.
‘Let me and Rocket escort you through the park,’ I say, switching on the charm. ‘You get some very dodgy characters lurking around at this time of the evening.’
‘Like you and your mates,’ Ima says.
‘Me?’ I protest, mock-outraged. ‘I am a hundred per cent kind and courteous to others. Most of the time, anyway. Unless they happen to be teachers …’
‘Just go away,’ Chloe says, a note of pleading in her voice. ‘We’re fine, seriously. We don’t need any help from you and your halfwit sidekicks!’
‘Chloe!’ I argue, pretending to be devastated. ‘My friends may be a little slow to take a hint, but they’re harmless really. Most of the time. And me – well, let’s just say I’m misunderstood. I wanted to ask – you are going to the party? Everyone’s going, yeah? It’s meant to be the party of the year …’
‘So I’ve heard,’ Flick says, noncommittal.
I lower my voice. ‘So. Do you happen to know … will Eden Banks be there?’
The girls raise their eyebrows, exchange amused looks. With one sentence, I have morphed from scary schoolboy delinquent to lovesick loser. They are much more comfortable with that.
‘She said she might go,’ Ima admits. ‘We asked her last week at school and she said no, but then we saw her earlier in the week and she said she’d see us there. Definitely.’
‘Although knowing Eden, she probably won’t,’ Chloe adds. ‘She’s a bit of a loner, isn’t she? We try to be friendly, but she pushes us away.’
‘I know the feeling.’
The girls watch me carefully, in case further gossip might be available. I feel like an exhibit in the zoo.
‘Does your dog bite?’ Ima asks. ‘I heard it was a pit bull cross …’
I take hold of Rocket’s collar, but his tail is wagging so hard it’s a miracle he doesn’t explode with joy. He’s jus
t a mongrel, something daft crossed with something hairy; there’s nothing growly or dangerous in his breeding. Still, it’s too good a rumour to ignore.
‘Pit bull crossed with wolf,’ I say casually, and Ima’s mouth drops open.
‘Is it true you attacked an old lady with a school javelin?’ Flick demands.
‘It was only a small graze,’ I quip. ‘She was getting on my nerves …’
‘That’s disgusting,’ Flick whispers, outraged. ‘Why haven’t you been expelled? Why wasn’t it in the papers?’
‘The head’s scared of me.’ I shrug. ‘He hushed it up, and obviously the old lady’s in no state to go telling anyone. Besides, the head’s seen my criminal record; he knows he could be next on the hit list!’
I almost feel guilty then as the girls grab each other, faces blank with horror, and hurry away along the path. Almost. The thing about having a bad rep at school is that what people don’t actually know, they invent, and I choose to laugh at the rumours rather than let them upset me.
As I watch, Ima looks back over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. I can see disbelief in her eyes, the trace of a smile on her lips. She suspects I’m winding them up, but she is not totally sure.
‘See you at the party, girls!’ I yell, and they screech and break into a run.
24
Eden
‘How long is it since we went to a party together?’ Andie asks as we walk arm in arm towards Lara’s house in the golden evening light. ‘Does my birthday camp-out count? Probably not, because it was just us five. It must have been Tasha’s leaving party, then.’
Tasha’s party … how could I forget it? It’d been just days before Andie’s birthday, and everyone had been there. Although it was a bittersweet occasion because we were sad about Tasha moving to France, it was still a pretty cool party.
‘Awww,’ I say. ‘That was so much fun. So happy and so sad, all at the same time. Remember the cake we made that looked like the French flag? And how the grown-ups got tipsy, and your mum and dad danced into the washing line and got all tangled up?’
‘Great party,’ Andie says wistfully. ‘Poor Mum and Dad … that was so funny! I really miss those times. It seems so long ago, now. I wish you were still in touch with Tasha. I always thought you guys would stay close forever …’
‘It’s hard to stay close when there’s a sea between you,’ I point out. ‘I tried, Andie. I emailed loads of times. She never answered, not once.’
‘That’s so sad,’ she sighs. ‘How about a letter? One last try, for me?’
I sigh. ‘I’ll try,’ I promise. ‘I loved those days, too, Andie. We had so much fun, didn’t we?’
‘We did,’ Andie says. ‘I can’t believe it all fell apart. I can’t believe Ryan turned bad boy, or that Tash went silent. I can’t believe Hasmita just dropped you …’
‘Well, it’s true,’ I tell her. ‘The Heart Club turned into the Broken Heart Club. My best friends ditched me, pure and simple.’
Andie’s eyes mist with tears.
‘It’s so sad, Eden,’ she says. ‘I really hoped you’d all still be friends. Friends forever, that’s what we said, right? Promise me, Eden, that you’ll try to make some new friends at this party. For me?’
I frown. ‘But … I thought we were going together?’
‘We are, but that doesn’t mean we have to stick to each other like glue, does it? The whole point is to get you socializing again, and while you’re doing that, maybe I’ll catch up with a few old friends – see what’s been happening while I’ve been gone!’
This is not quite what I had in mind, but Andie is determined.
‘Promise you’ll try,’ she says, and I find myself promising.
We’ve reached the top of Lara’s street, silence falling around us like a cloak. Andie reaches for my hand and squeezes it hard, which somehow makes my heart ache. The party doesn’t seem important now, though already I can tell which house it is because of the steady thud of music carrying on the evening air.
There’s a bus stop up ahead, and we duck inside, sit down side by side.
Andie was always so much more than just a friend to me – she was my soul sister. Without her, a part of me shrivelled up and died. I can feel that part of me coming back to life, and that scares me a little.
What if I have to go through all that hurt again?
‘It’s still early,’ Andie says. ‘We can talk, if you want. About Ryan, about Tash and Hasmita; about us. There’s still so much I want to say, need to say, and there isn’t much time left.’
Not much time left? What does that even mean? Nausea rolls through me suddenly, and the world seems to tilt a little on its axis.
‘It’s difficult,’ Andie is saying. ‘I had to go away. I had no choice. You know that, don’t you? Eden?’
My eyes feel gritty, sore. It’s probably some kind of allergy to the glittery eyeshadow, but my throat is aching too, like I’ve been swallowing razor blades.
‘I know,’ I choke out. ‘It’s just … I miss you so much, Andie. It’s been two years; I’d given up hope of ever hearing from you again.’
‘I just haven’t been able to get in touch,’ she says quietly. ‘It was hard; I can’t really explain. Friends forever, and all that.’
But I don’t believe in that any more. It’s a fairy story, and a cruel one.
‘Are you back to stay?’ I ask in a whisper. ‘Can things go back to the way they were?’
‘That’s not possible,’ she answers. ‘I wish it was! I’ve told you already, I’m only here for a few days … I’m sorry!’
‘When do you go?’
Andie smiles and shakes her head. ‘Soon. I don’t really know …’
‘You don’t know? What kind of an answer is that?’ I’m angry now, needy. Seeing Andie has shown me just what I’ve been missing. If she goes away again, I don’t know how I will cope.
Not much time left …
‘It’s not up to me,’ Andie is saying. ‘I have to go back. I’m sorry, Eden – you know that!’
‘Will you stay in touch, though?’ I ask, hating the pleading tone in my voice. ‘Texts? Messages? Phone calls, maybe?’
Andie’s blue eyes mist with tears. ‘Maybe,’ she says. ‘I don’t want to make it any harder for you; maybe a clean break is best.’
‘No!’ I beg. ‘Please, Andie?’
‘I’ll try. I will. I’m so sorry, Eden.’
A bus draws up and a crowd of teenagers spill out on to the pavement. I know most of them vaguely from school, but they don’t recognize me at all, or Andie either. My new look must be pretty dramatic. From sad-faced Goth girl to quirky teen tomboy in less than twenty-four hours … which one is the real me?
I have no idea.
It’s pretty clear that the gang of kids are heading for Lara’s party – they are drawn towards the music and the lights like moths to a flame. We watch them laughing and clowning about as they head up the street, as if they haven’t a care in the world. They probably haven’t.
I’m filled with a terrible sadness. I am going to lose Andie all over again.
‘Hey,’ she says, nudging me with an elbow. ‘We have a party to get to, right?’
I couldn’t care less about the party right now, but I fix a smile on my face and I’m rewarded with an answering grin on Andie’s.
‘C’mon, trouble,’ Andie quips. ‘Let’s go!’
We link arms and walk along the street towards Lara’s house.
25
Ryan
Back
in the old days, Andie used to bribe me to come to sleepovers with promises of apple pie and pizza and permission to retreat to a quiet corner and read Harry Potter if I got fed up with clowning around and playing the idiot. I never did get fed up, though; not really. When the Heart Club were together, boredom was never an option.
I had the best of all worlds … the freedom to play footy, to skateboard and play Xbox games about zombies and car chases, and then to step into a whole different world with Andie, Eden, Tasha and Hasmita.
I liked that world a lot, obviously. The Heart Club girls were different from my boy mates; gentler, wilder, kinder. It was like having four crazy sisters who knew you better than anyone else alive – or perhaps three crazy sisters and Eden. I liked her way too much, even then, and not in a sisterly kind of way.
By Year Six, I’d got to that awkward stage where I couldn’t leave the house without spending ten minutes in front of the mirror with the comb and the hair gel. I’d been getting through cans of Lynx body spray at an alarming rate, and yet girls were not chasing me along the street or fainting at my feet. They sometimes pinched their noses and rolled their eyes if I came too close, and Tasha told me I was probably overdoing it with the Lynx, so I toned it down.
I was eleven years and three months old when I kissed Eden’s ear at the camp-out sleepover. It had taken me that long to screw up the courage to make a move, and I thought she looked amazing that night – the most beautiful girl in the world.
I’d been aiming for her lips, but she saw me coming and I could see the panic in her eyes. She turned her face and I ended up clumsily kissing her ear, but I didn’t care at all because I heard her draw in a breath and felt her cheek burn warm against mine, her fingers curl round mine in the darkness.
‘Ryan …’ she whispered. ‘I thought …’
Broken Heart Club Page 9
