by T. L Smith
“You can’t guarantee that, Kayla. Plus, it’s not you I want.” His face has a look of sorrow. He looks empty, his shoulders are drooping and it’s not something I quite understand.
“I can make you want me. I will make you forget all about this other girl if you give me ten minutes. My tongue does magical things,” I whisper in his ear and he pulls back, giving me the same look.
“It’s impossible. She is unforgettable and being with you would only make me want her more.”
“Ha, yeah right. What, does this bitch have a golden vagina or something?” I say it as a joke, but the look he shoots me could kill.
He leans in all the way, so we are nose to nose with those dark eyes shooting daggers straight through me. This man actually scares me and not many can.
“Don’t say a bad word about her, Kayla. You will regret it if you do.”
Goosebumps break out all over my skin. He’s serious; he’d hurt me for her. It clicks in that moment why he’s so protective of someone I don’t even know.
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” The look on his face tells me he is. It’s like a revelation to him and he’s only just realizing it.
“No! I’m not!” He shakes his head, picks up his drink and downs it with just a few swallows.
“Prove it! Take me to the bathroom. Show me you aren’t in love with this woman. Fuck her out of your system.”
He looks me in the eyes and then slowly rakes his gaze over my body. My body starts to hum with excitement of what is to come. I can see in his eyes that he wants me. He leans close to me, so close, and then licks the side of my neck.
“I won’t fuck you. You don’t hold a candle to her. You taste sour, where she tastes like my fucking salvation.” His breath leaves me and I slap him hard across the face.
“You’re delusional. You don’t know what you’ve just missed out on. I could take you places your girl could only dream of, big boy. Don’t come crying to me when she won’t fuck you like a real woman should.” I get up to leave and his voice stops me.
“It’s not her body I’m after, Kayla. I want to consume her mind and heart. Something a girl like you could never understand.” I turn back to look at him and notice he isn’t even looking at me. He’s looking at his cell with a beautiful smirk on his face.
I walk out of the bar not feeling horny anymore. His words have hit me like an ice cold shower. Rejection doesn’t usually bother me, possibly because I’ve rarely been rejected. When I have, it’s usually been by my peers, not someone I desperately wanted to fuck.
I plan to find this mystery woman and see what’s so special about someone that isn’t even having sex with him. I could tell by the way his eyes took me in. He wants the connection, but he just hasn’t taken it yet.
Although the brain accounts for only two percent of the whole body's mass, it uses twenty percent of all the oxygen we breathe.
My cell beeps and I look down trying to decipher who the hell ‘Hawaiian God’ is. It takes me a few minutes to work it out before I finally reply to the text.
Hawaiian God – Tonight, pick you up at eight.
Me – Who’s this?
Hawaiian God – Your future fucking everything.
My future fucking everything? How can he be my future everything when he doesn’t know me? He thinks he does, but he’s wrong. This man does my head in because he’s so hot and cold. I don’t think he knows what he wants or what he’s even talking about. I decide not to reply and watch a movie. I don’t have any classes for the next few days, so I don’t have to cram in so much studying all at once. I don’t have many movies to choose from, but I end up going with some action with a supernatural twist. I’m halfway through the movie, when my cell rings. I look at it and the number is blocked – a private number. I debate whether or not to answer. It is possible that it may be Kai because honestly, who else would be calling me?
“Hello.”
“Hi Kristy, this is Natalie, your grandmother’s in-house nurse. I’m sorry to call you like this. I know you’re at school and she did tell me not to call you, but you are her only family.” I take a deep breath, hoping it’s not bad news. “Lilly had a heart attack last night. Now, she’s fine, but she’s refusing to stay at the hospital. I was wondering, could you possibly come and spend the night with her? I don’t usually work Sundays and I have kids at home, but I don’t want her left by herself if she isn’t going to stay in hospital,” I can hear the pleading in her voice. She must really care for someone that doesn’t, as far as I’m concerned, have a nice bone in her body. My grandmother never once showed me love or affection.
“Yes, I’ll find a way out there and come as soon as possible,” I say, feeling defeated. It’s not that I don’t care for her; I do. It’s just that I don’t know how you are meant to love someone when they don’t show you love in return.
I quickly pack a bag full of clothes and make my way down the stairs. As I exit my building, Kai is standing next to his truck, looking at me. He makes me nervous when I’m around him. I feel like I have to feign elation to make him happy, because being myself is not acceptable. I take a step in his direction and I suddenly remember he has demanded my presence tonight. I stand tall once I reach him and look into his dark eyes, trying my hardest not to let my eyes wander all over him.
“I’m glad you listened,” he says, brushing a strand of hair from my face.
“I didn’t, I actually forgot. Sorry, I have a family emergency.” I start to walk away and I hear his steps following me.
“What’s the emergency?” he asks, directly behind me. He steps in front of me, invading my personal space and forcing me to stop.
“It’s my grandmother. Sorry, but I have to go.” I try to sidestep him, but he won’t let me pass.
“How are you getting there? You don’t have a car.”
“I’ll catch a bus. Now, please get out of my way before I miss it.”
He smiles at me like he’s proud that I spoke my mind. I, however, am not.
“I will drive you.” He grabs my bag from my hand and starts walking toward his car, leaving me standing there watching him. He stops once he’s at the passenger door and opens it, throwing the bag in and turning around to face me.
“Hurry up, Nani.”
Shit, I was planning to research that word today and I completely forgot. I really need to know what it means.
“It’s not down the road, Kai. It’s a two-hour drive just to get to her house,” I say, emphasizing the two hours.
“Well, you better start moving your ass then. We don’t want to take all day.” He gestures for me to get in, waving his hand in front of an already open door. I don’t want him to come. I don’t want him to know any more about my life than he already does. Some things I’d like to keep private.
He keeps the conversation light on the drive, asking basic questions.
Am I close to my Grandmother? – No.
Did I like living with her? – I hated it.
I don’t give him much. I don’t tell him how she drank herself silly every day or how she constantly told me she couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I needed to go far away from everything that was home and never look back. Rejection is not fun when it’s coming from your only family member.
“I’m getting the idea that you don’t really want to go home?” Kai’s voice softens and he turns his body slightly while driving. I continue to look out the window, noticing all the familiar surroundings as we get closer.
“It’s not a matter of want; it’s a matter of having to.”
“I don’t believe you. I think there’s a part of you that wants to.”
I turn to face him now; he’s watching the road and me. “Don’t tell me what I want or what I know. You don’t know me, so stop assuming and shut up.” I point him with a glare and he smirks at me.
“I like it when you talk harshly. It makes my cock hard, Nani.”
Oh yuck, but oh yum.
He has my eyes going dir
ectly to his groin. I can see the bulge coming from his pants and it has me wondering what it looks like hard.
“If you want to look, all you have to do is ask. I’m here to please you, Nani, in any way possible,” he adds with a wink. His hand goes to his pants and he starts to undo the button.
“Stop! Don’t! I don’t want to see it now or ever,” I reply, covering my eyes.
“Don’t tell yourself lies. I can see the lust in your eyes. You want it as badly as I do. I’m just man enough to admit it. Oh, by the way, Nani, when I do have you, you’re going to be smothered by me, soaking me all up. And you’re not going to say ‘no,’ because I know you will like it. Correction… you will fucking love it.”
“God, you are so full of yourself,” I mutter under my breath, even though I’m clenching my thighs together from his dirty words.
“No, but one day soon you’re going to be full of me.”
During the first month of life, the number of connections or synapses dramatically increases from fifty trillion to one quadrillion.
After his last remark, we drive the rest of the way in silence. He doesn’t speak and I’m not going to ‘poke the bear,’ as they like to say. I’ve stolen glances at him. His posture is stiff, yet relaxed. I’ve noticed that he hardly smiles, unless it’s at me. Whenever someone talks to him, a mask appears over his face. He shuts them out, only letting them see what he wants them to see. I like the idea that I can make him smile, even if it’s at my own expense.
“This is it,” I say, pointing to the old house at the end of a long gravel driveway just ahead of us. My grandmother is very attached to this house. She raised my father here and doesn’t like to be away from it.
It’s dark when we pull in. I notice only one light is on and no cars are here. I didn’t expect to see anyone, but I assumed her nurse would at least stay until I got here.
When Kai pulls the truck to a stop, I turn to face him, ready to thank him for the ride, when I see him jump out the car. I look at him, puzzled. What is his plan? I watch while he walks to my side, opens the door and offers me his hand. I take it willingly and climb down carefully so as to not fall. Once I’m on the ground, Kai reaches for my bag, swings it over his shoulder and gestures for me to lead the way. I don’t.
“Thanks for the ride, Kai, but I can handle the rest,” I say, reaching up to take my bag from him. He moves it out of my way so I can’t reach it and shakes his head.
“Not happening, Nani. I’m not leaving your side, so you best be finding somewhere for you and me to sleep.”
I shake my head in disbelief at his outrageous thought. He can’t stay here, let alone invite himself to stay.
“She doesn’t like strangers. She won’t let you stay in this house,” I say, pointing toward the old one story house that’s faded yellow in color and surrounded by dead plants. The flower beds are all gone and debris is piled up around the trashcan. It’s sad seeing it like this compared to what it used to be.
“The ladies love me. You have nothing to worry about. Now take me in and introduce me.” He starts toward the door. I grab his arm and feel the need to warn him regarding what he’s about to walk in on.
“She’s a drunk,” I spit out so fast I’m not sure he got it.
“Doesn’t bother me. Now stop making excuses and move your ass,” he says with a smirk, letting me know he’s trying to lighten the already somber mood. I stop again and realize I’ve not known this man for long. Why the hell did I allow him to come to my childhood home?
“What’s your last name?”
He gives me a baffled look and crinkles his forehead.
“My name is Kai Dean. I have a twin sister and my father died four years ago while riding a motorcycle. My mother died giving birth to my sister and me. She chose a natural birth knowing her heart more than likely couldn’t take it. I’m from Hawaii. I moved to Texas with my father and sister when I was the ripe old age of sixteen. Now, I think I’ve told you quite a lot and you already know where I live. So, could you stop dawdling and get the fuck inside?” I nod my head and continue to walk toward the door. I stop again just outside and start to turn around when I feel him behind me.
“Don’t even think about it.”
I humph in return and pull open the ancient door. It creaks loudly and I hear my grandmother’s voice. “Who is there? I have a loaded gun and my twenty-year-old boyfriend will be home soon, so fuck off.”
Kai laughs behind me and I drop my head in shame.
The cracked walls are painted yellow and the paint is crumbling. They haven’t been cleaned since I lived here and the house smells of stale cigarette smoke. Alcohol bottles are lying on the floor in the living area. We walk past to get to the kitchen. The house needs a good cleaning and I wonder who, if anyone, has been helping her with this. I walk along the hallway with Kai following close behind me. I stop at the entry of the kitchen and see my grandma sitting at the kitchen table. She turns and looks at me, then looks behind me. Her eyes widen when she spots Kai standing there. Then she glares at me.
Her hair is the same length it’s always been, just past her shoulders and it’s a rich brown with not a sign of gray in there anywhere. Her eyes aren’t the vibrant color of blue they once were; now they look like they lack life and there’s absolutely no sparkle. She’s dressed in an old nightgown that has seen better days.
“What the hell is he doing here, girl?” she snarls, looking between me and Kai. “And why are you here? I don’t need or want you here.” She stands and walks to the cupboard above the sink and pulls down bottle of vodka.
“This is Kai, Grandma. I’m staying the night, and so is Kai.”
She glares at me again, though I’m used to it. Once upon a time she would have had me quaking in my boots, but now I don’t even acknowledge them.
“You are not staying here. I told you to not come back once you got that scholarship. But no, you never listen, do you? Just like your rotten mother,” she snarls. I take a step back and bump right into Kai, who’s directly behind me. He grabs me and steadies me. I take a few calming breaths and then tell Kai to follow me. He doesn’t at first. He’s staring at my grandmother with a look of disgust written on his face. She notices and throws the now empty bottle of vodka at him, which he catches easily.
He looks at the bottle, then back to her. “I understand you’re a bitter old lady,” he says in a calm voice, then places the bottle back on the bench. He looks back up. “But if you do that again, I won’t be so nice about it.”
Kai grabs my waist and ushers me out of there, straight into the room in which I grew up. I open the door and notice not one thing has changed. My double bed still has the old pale pink covers on it and the photographs of my parents sit next to the bed unmoved, but cleaned. Actually, this is probably the cleanest room in the house.
Kai starts undressing. I watch as he does and I don’t speak a word. I don’t know where I expected him to sleep. The bed is a double, but to someone the size of him, it would be like a single. His biceps flex when he undoes his pants and pulls them down, only leaving on a pair of boxers. He walks across to me and hands me my bag. I take it without question and walk straight out of that room into the bathroom to change.
I change into my yoga pants and a university T-shirt that once belonged to my mother. It’s the only thing I have of theirs, apart from their photos which Grandma had kept and given to me. Once I enter my old bedroom, I notice Kai is on my bed. He turns to look at me and moves over to make room.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to share a bed.”
“We’ve shared a bed before, Kristy. Now, don’t be silly and get in. I’m fucking tired from that drive and just want to sleep.”
I didn’t even know we shared the same bed; that’s news to me. I look around searching for options, but there aren’t any in my tiny room.
Kai is lying on the covers, so I grab them and wrap them around myself like a cocoon thinking that just maybe they will protect me. Kai doesn’t t
ouch me. He doesn’t even face me. I listen as his breathing evens out to constant, slow breaths and I know he’s asleep. It doesn’t take me long to follow, curled up on the opposite side of the bed.
Your brain keeps developing until you are in your late forties.
I wake up alone in my bed. I look over at my clock and can’t believe the time. I’ve never felt so good and so well rested. I sit up and look around for Kai; he’s obviously up and isn’t in my room. I listen more carefully and hear whispers coming from the kitchen. I open my door slowly, making sure it doesn’t squeak, and walk out. I stop just outside of the kitchen, listening to what they are talking about.
“You have to tell her,” Kai says in a hushed tone.
“Bullshit! How do you think she’ll cope? She can’t handle it. Last time proved that. So don’t you come here, boy, and tell me what I should be telling her. Have you told her yet? Have you told her what you really do for work? It’s not going to be breaking her heart this time. I see the way she looks at you. How does she look at you at night? That’s what I wanna know.”
“That’s none of your concern,” he snaps.
What the hell are they talking about?
Who is Kai and what does he do for work?
He was open to me earlier, but it was short and snipped. And why are they talking to each other like they’ve met before?
“How much did you hear?” Kai’s voice looms above me.
I look up at him and say the first thing that comes to me. “What do you do for work?”
He looks down at the floor, then looks back up and his eyes reach mine. “I’m a detective.”
Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! Does that mean he and Detective Black both know me? And why do they both know so much about me?
“What kind of detective?”
His piercing dark eyes don’t leave mine when he answers, “I specialize in undercover operations.”
