Was that his subtle way of telling me he knew where Travis was? It didn’t really matter because he was right. I should have known better than to ask him, but I was really worried about my cousin.
The last image I’d seen of Travis had been in Eldrea when Jett tried to show me that my family was okay. Travis hadn’t appeared overly distraught in my vision of him; yet, now that I thought back on it, he should have been. I hoped he was still fighting. I hoped Mr. Lambert hadn’t been able to brainwash him or whatever he did to make people bend to his will.
Having been raised by Uncle John, Travis had an example of what it meant to be a good man. For Uncle John’s sake, I hoped Travis would use that example to emulate instead of the greedy manipulators the Order had to offer as mentors.
The thought of him having to withstand Order training sent ice spiraling through my veins, especially since I’d learned what Roger had gone through during his supposed training. I wanted to help Travis so badly my teeth ached; yet, I had to stay out of it. Until I broke my connection with Zach, I would be putting Travis at risk to even think about him, but the worst part was I had no clue why Ainessa wanted him.
Besides, what could I do for him right now? My powers might be pretty impressive by fae standards, but Tabitha was right. I still didn’t know what I was doing. I also didn’t quite get why she had only really taught me a few things back in her chambers. Talking to her had been nice, but I knew the extent of her power; I had witnessed it firsthand. She’d transported thousands of people at once out of Heath’s not so functioning sanctuary when the royal guard had come looking for me. She had single handedly silenced an entire group of fae, not to mention her mind reading abilities. She was stronger than any of the lords and that was saying something. Her restraint had to mean something. She probably didn’t trust me, and at this point, I couldn’t exactly blame her.
Nothing much made sense to me anymore, so I tried to put it out of my mind. Unfortunately, it was harder than it should have been.
Heath settled in bed next to me, pulling me along with him so we could spoon. His spicy scent settled around me, calming my nerves a bit. I loved doing this, just lying in his arms, feeling like nothing in the world could possibly come between us.
He brushed my hair away from my neck and kissed a trail along my exposed shoulder. Goosebumps exploded where his lips feathered against my skin. His deep voice sounded at my ear. “I could never get enough of you, Rayla. I hope you know that.”
A smile slid along my mouth while my heart burst with happiness. If only we could stay this way.
“I’d love to,” he said, answering my thoughts. “You know I would, but we’ll have to find another way to be together.” His body stiffened against me. “There are a few things I want to show you before you have to leave.”
My breath hitched on his last word. “I don’t want to go.”
He turned me to face him. His granite expression halted my next grumble. “If there was any other way, I wouldn’t let you.”
“Is that so?” I said, pretending to be offended.
“You know it,” he said. “You’re mine.”
I smiled. How could I consider his controlling nature endearing? No that was wrong, he wasn’t controlling so much as protective, and I kind of liked knowing he’d do anything for me. “Tell that to Zach,” I complained.
His expression grew lethal. “Don’t worry, when the time is right, there will be no mistake in his or anyone else’s mind.”
A thought wanted to surface, but I wasn’t sure I should let it. After a few seconds of indecision, I caved. “Tabitha made it sound like I was bonded to you too.”
Heath’s tawny eyes lowered, which made it pretty darned hard to figure out what he was thinking. Without even stopping to consider it might be a bad idea, I delved into his mind.
Black noise blasted my brain. I would say white, but this was definitely black. I covered my head and groaned from the pain.
Once I withdrew, I was fine again. After a moment of feeling like the biggest douche ever, I gave him a tentative glance.
His jaw clenched, and I cringed. I was so in trouble. “I’m sorry,” I hedged. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
His voice came out venomous. “Weren’t you listening just now? You having the wrong information could kill the entire planet. Does that make it clear enough for you?” His fists balled in front of him, and he closed his eyes tight.
“I—I just wanted—”
“You just wanted!” His hand slammed on the bed between us, startling me. “That’s the whole problem with you lately. God knows I realize you are young and this is unfair on an unthinkable level for you, but you can’t do things like that.”
I scooted away from him, every emotion imaginable racing through me. My body stiffening, I took a second to calm myself. “I’ve been doing my best.”
He shook his head at me, offering no amount of compassion. “You’re going to have to do better. If the council finds out I’m missing, it won’t be hard for them to guess what I’ve been up to. I’ve given up everything for a chance to have you. Don’t you realize that?”
His words hurt more than any knife ever could. “I never asked you to!”
His voice lowered and his eyes darted away from mine. “We’d better get some practice in before someone comes for you.” He extended his hand toward me. “I think we could both use some stress release.”
I took a deep breath and sighed, fighting the lump forming in my throat. I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t.
Heath stood up, not saying anything to comfort me. After a moment’s hesitation, I followed him into the open area of our room, wondering how to fix this.
He faced me and stripped off his shirt. Since there was no real door to our room, I glanced into the corridor. No one was there, but a hundred people may have been watching for how exposed we were. Our bed chamber was thankfully tucked into an alcove, which, surprisingly, made sleeping, and other activities, in the cavernous space much easier for me.
I frowned at him, wondering what he wanted me to do next. “I’m not comfortable…”
He laughed. “I’m not trying to get you naked, although you do bring up an interesting thought for later.” He waggled his eyebrows at me as if our previous conversation had never happened. If he was willing to forget about it, so was I. When I gave him a sly smile, he flashed his dimple at me. “I’m not accustomed to wearing an upper garment when practicing Shendo.”
My mind wandered backwards, settling on the time I’d seen him practicing the Ignisian martial art in a courtyard. I hadn’t known what he was doing at the time, but it didn’t matter. He was, in a word, amazing. I could still feel the rush of watching him. His hair had been loosed and his chest bare. I gave him a conspiratorial glance. “What about your hair?”
He folded his arms. “What about it?”
He had to be kidding. I’d been trying to get my fingers into his shiny locks for days now, and every time I did, he’d made an excuse or distracted me. What was the point in him having such amazing hair if he wouldn’t let me touch it?
My lips shot out in a pout I couldn’t quite stop. Heath grinned at me again.
“What are you smiling for?” I snapped. “You’re being mean on purpose.”
He folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head. “Mean?”
“Yeah! I’ve never seen a guy with such gorgeous hair and you keep it in that braid all the freaking time.”
“So?”
I flung my hand out. “Forget it. Just show me what you need me to do so I can go to sleep.”
He grunted. “I don’t know how you think you’re going to get an ounce of sleep tonight.”
“Yeah, well I don’t know how you think you’re gonna get anything else.”
He laughed. “Well played. But we’ll see who wins this battle.”
I laughed, folding my arms over my chest, mocking him. “Really? Well then, consider it on like Donkey Kong.”
“W
hat?”
“Never mind. Would you just get to it?”
He smirked at me, which just made me want to punch him more. He relaxed his stance, eyeing me like he was some kind of kung-fu master. “Shendo is a technique used in the fire realm to maintain balance. You might say that most of us are volatile by nature, so we have to compensate.”
Like I didn’t already know that. “Vague much?”
His chuckle made my heart warm…just a little bit. “Come here,” he commanded.
My tongue jetted out to wet my dry lips. His eyes followed my movements then shot back to mine. An intense heat burned behind his chocolate gaze.
“You’re so bossy,” I said because I had nothing else.
“And you’re obstinate.” He lifted his hand casually, but it was hard to miss how he stared at my mouth. He gritted his teeth and looked away. “What’s your point?”
I shook my head and moved in next to him, purposely keeping my eyes off his scrumptious body. “What now?” I asked.
He glanced at me sidelong, his sultry mouth up-tilted. “You know how when you run, you feel connected to everything?”
Didn’t take much thought there. “Yeah.”
“Think of how your heart, although beating fast, is almost stilled. Your whole body works in unison towards a specific goal. Shendo requires that same level of alertness, that same level of serenity.”
I wasn’t sure serene was the right word for my runs. They’d been a coping mechanism for me for quite some time. “So this technique helps your mind focus?”
“Focus without thought.”
“Yes, sensei,” I said, wondering if he was going to tell me fear does not exist in this dojo next.
“See!” he said. “You can’t even go two minutes without your mind bouncing from one thought to another. What if you were to stop a thought from coming into your mind?”
My hands flew to my hips. “For your information, I’ve already done that!”
Instead of getting all curious on me, he just said, “Good. It was hard for you, though. Am I right?”
I shrugged, avoiding his questioning stare. “You could say that.”
I still managed to catch his smirk. “The more you do it, the easier it will become.”
“Maybe you should show rather than tell then.” My body tingled from the memory of him in practice, and I could hardly wait to see him in action again. Watching him that day in the fire realm had been the single most memorable performance of my life.
He gave me a lopsided grin. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, but this time, I will be the one watching.”
I tried to keep the big flashing huh sign from blinking on my forehead. “How can I do it if you don’t show me how?” He smiled and it was clear where his mind had taken this.
“And you say I have a problem concentrating.”
He cleared his throat. “I will show you the basic movements, but I need you to focus.” He gave an exaggerated yawn. “I’m feeling a bit tired myself.”
I raised a brow. “Bet that’s not all your feeling.”
His lips twitched, but he quickly recovered. “Would you stop? One more word out of you, and I’ll show you exactly what I’m feeling.”
Was that really supposed to be a threat? I gave him a challenging look.
Putting his head down, he stalked toward me, letting out a growl that ricocheted through the space. I backed up. In this room, there were no walls to hinder my retreat. But before I could run for it, he had his arms around me. After he twirled me around, he grabbed a chunk of my hair and gave a gentle tug. As soon as my chin came up, his lips captured mine.
I’d never been more thrilled to be defeated in my life. His kiss was fierce, as were his hands that roamed over my curves. I melted into him until I could barely breathe, but who needed air anyway.
*****
Hours later I lay in bed with Heath. The soft rise and fall of his chest lulled me into a state of semi-consciousness, yet I couldn’t sleep. My mind still whirred with unanswered questions, worries about how I was going to face Zach and the Council, not to mention Ainessa and the unknown threat Tabitha had warned me about.
Her explanations had given me some solace; however, I knew my road to happiness would be filled with regret and heartache. Her plan consisted of me going directly to the Council to beg forgiveness, much like Ainessa had done, then hope for the best while she and Heath worked to figure out a way to completely break my ties to Zach.
I figured the Council had already bound me to the realms, so they couldn’t inflict much in the way of punishment on me. It was the people that I loved I was worried about. And that more than anyone included Heath. He’d given up every chance he had to move up the ranks in the Fae courts for me. I still didn’t know how I felt about that.
On one hand I was completely grateful to him, but on the other hand I couldn’t stand the thought of him being punished for loving me, for helping me. I was determined to find a way to make this work. The only real plan I could come up with hinged on me being able to conquer Ainessa and that ever-present unknown. Unfortunately I didn’t exactly know what that meant yet, or how to even start such an endeavor. The weirdest thing was in an odd way I felt bad for Ainessa. No one would tell me what had transpired between her and Zach, so I was going completely on speculation. Some of the things she had told me about wanting a better life resonated more than I wanted them to.
Ainessa wasn’t a good person, but I couldn’t be sure she had always been that way. When it came down to it, it didn’t really matter what her reasons were because I couldn’t let her go on like she was. I had to stop her, but where did compassion end and righteous vengeance begin? I didn’t know, and I really didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to judge her, but I had to for the sakes of everyone in the world.
Her ideas reflected her desperation, and desperate people can do horrible things. Tabitha explained to me that Ainessa was essentially trying to steal this world from the Creator. I’d guessed as much, but she still wouldn’t tell me much else. The thought of the spoiled princess usurping this world chilled my blood.
If she managed to succeed, one thing was certain. I hoped I wasn’t alive to see it.
I had to believe with so much involved some sort of divine intervention would happen, but where free will was concerned there were strict rules, or so Tabitha said.
My mind eventually wandered to the heavenly visitor I had encountered in my dreams while I was with Luke in Altasia. He’d never said he was an angel, and he had never given me his name, yet somewhere in the deepest part of me, I knew he was from a higher plane than even the fae realms.
His entire being screamed not of this world. I had been so afraid of him, yet there was part of me that wished I could see him again, be in his presence again. That thought chilled me even more than facing Ainessa.
Then there was the man Tabitha mentioned. He could be anyone. Luke was the most likely suspect, but what if I was wrong?
Heath stirred, so I moved my head off his chest. Letting out a slight groan, he rolled away from me, settling into his pillow again. It was harder than it should have been for me to let him sleep.
I had no idea how long he and I would get to be together, and it was chewing up my insides. More than anything I just wanted to stay with him, to learn from him, to grow with him. The idea that we wouldn’t be able to do that was like acid in my brain.
I needed to find a way out of this mess, and I would if it was the last thing I ever did. Yet in this still moment, all I wanted to do was savor being close to the man I loved. I molded myself to his back and inhaled his sharp scent, trying to figure out, for the hundredth time, what exactly it was. I took another whiff then got distracted by his hair. That glorious mane, he wouldn’t let me touch. He still hadn’t explained why, and I was trying to be understanding, but it was hard.
Just then he rolled over, looking at me with an intensity that reached my core. His tawny eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say a word. His finge
rs reached for his braid and my breath hitched. He untied the thong and went to work taking out the plait. His eyes never left mine.
I was glued to the sight, and my heart exploded with an urgent need for this. Even though I didn’t know the exact significance of this act, I knew he was giving me a part of himself that was hard to let go of. I let him finish before I looked for permission. His chin dipped in a slow nod.
My fingers shook as I took a lock of his hair between them. The low glow of candlelight brought out the fire in his mane. The soft strands might as well have been filled with lightning for how they electrified me. I took a tentative touch at his temple then feathered my fingers into the tendrils. It was like silk flowing through my fingers, and I got caught up in the act of touching him.
Soon my mind had other ideas, so I scooted closer to him. He welcomed me with a tentative smile then he shook his head and growled at me, pulling me against him so nothing lay between us.
“I really shouldn’t let you distract me like this,” he said with a chuckle.
I moved to get up. “Well then I guess we should get back to wor—” His lips covered mine and pretty soon words were the least important thing I could think of.
*****
I stood opposite Heath mimicking his fluid movements. Well, I tried to. His body glided through the air like a hawk taking it easy on the wind. He was just so beautiful, and it took a lot for me to concentrate on his instruction instead of admiring the glory that was him. I’d come to learn that he didn’t use a glamour, which made him all the more alluring. It was funny to me that the slight imperfections in his face were the things I couldn’t stop staring at.
He gave me a look, so I made more of an effort to focus. He was right; Shendo had a way of keeping me grounded. I was actually amazed that after only a few minutes of practice I felt as calm as I usually did after a long run. The appeal of this type of exercise wasn’t lost on me. Although, it looked effortless when Heath did it, it required amazing agility and focus. One bright side, I had a feeling my butt was going to get a much needed lift.
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