His tail swished sideways. “You could live without it.”
“Yeah, well, you could live without your ears, but I don’t think you’d like it.”
Zach spoke louder. “What’s going on?”
I shook my head. “It’s Bastion. I thought it was just me, but she’s not talking to Styx, either.”
Zach walked up to her stall and opened the gate. He held his hand out for her to sniff, which she did briefly before she turned away.
“Bastion,” he said. “What’s the matter with you, girl?”
She whipped her head around and stared at him, really stared. I couldn’t tell what the heck was going on, so I inched closer. She didn’t seem to notice my approach. In fact, she didn’t move. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she wasn’t breathing. The closer he got to her, the wilder her eyes grew.
“Zach,” I warned. He flashed a smile over his shoulder.
“I know what I’m doing, lass.” His lilt had kicked in strong, which made me smile. “Don’t worry over me. Besides, if she kills me dead, your troubles are over.”
“Whatever,” I said, still smiling. “Just be careful.”
“Careful is for beggars and bastards. I’m neither, in case you didn’t know.”
I laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
“Something my pop used to tell me. All I could ever gather was he did it when he needed a kick in the pants of courage.”
His pop? Funny how looking at him now made me think he’d never had a father. “Well, if it works?”
He chuckled. “Seems to do the job, most days.”
He was right next to Bastion now, holding one arm out to the side as if in surrender while the other acted as a barrier between them. Before I could blink, she bolted past us. Her iridescent wings trailed behind her, pinched at her sides. I shook my head. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to go.
My hand shot to my mouth when she blasted a hole in the doors at the other end. Was my pegasus trying to escape? Zach let a kicking Styx out of his stall, who took after her in a flash. He, in turn, blasted the doors with another burst of fire to get out.
The hole apparently wasn’t big enough for him.
Zach raced after the two, and I followed, coughing from the smoke in the air. I glanced behind me, sending a stream of water to douse the fire before it grew out of control. When we reached the pasture, the moon cast a luminescent glow over the already shimmering landscape.
At first, I didn’t know where they’d gone, then I spotted the duo near the glowing castle spires, wings spread wide, gliding on the wind.
If only I could be so free.
Zach clapped me on the arm. “Well. I guess she didn’t want passengers this time.”
I blinked at him. “Aren’t you worried they won’t come back?”
“Naw.” He laughed, and it was so good to see him smile. “Where would they go?” A moment of silence passed between us as his eyes lingered on mine. Then he looked away.
Was he trying to tell me the same thing? Did he still think he was going to win my heart? I hoped he was beginning to understand that wouldn’t happen, but more, I hoped he was opening his heart to other possibilities.
“I’m worried,” I said.
He reached out and clasped my shoulder. “I know. Take comfort in our bond, Rayla. Since you have chosen to distance yourself from me, it is all I have to offer you.”
I swallowed, glancing away. “You do mean a lot to me. I just can’t give you what you want.”
His voice lowered, his tone barely a whisper. “Time will speak for us, love. I’m sorry if you don’t like that term, but it’s how I think of you. I want you in my heart. I want you always. And no amount of bristling from you will change my mind. You think all I’ve been after is your power. Well, I’ve tried to show you otherwise. I have another memory I would like to share. Would that be okay with you?”
I nodded, not that it would make a difference for me, but if it had a chance of helping Zach resolve his feelings, I’d let him do this. His hand lifted to my cheek. His fingers slid over my skin in a caress that made my eyes shutter closed. I could barely take the longing in his touch, but I stayed still.
Flash. I’m in his head again. His mind races back to the day he saw me in the woods. He’s been following me for hours as I run, but now is his moment. I’ve wandered into the borderlands and he can’t let me stay long. It’s too risky with the hellhounds running loose.
This is perfect. The other lords hadn’t arrived yet, and I’ll be his before they have a chance to question his claim to me. He shakes his head, wondering why he thought that. I have his element. My power pulsates through space, beckoning him forward. None can claim me other than him, yet desperation for me takes hold of him.
He can’t wait for me to come out of the shack; he has to see me now. He tiptoes to the window of the broken down hut and peers inside. I sit cross-legged, wet from head to foot, but that doesn’t matter. I’m his salvation. He inches nearer and a twig snaps. He ducks down and another twig breaks.
I make a lot of clatter getting out of the shack, so he’s able to calculate where I will emerge. He races after me, his heart beating wildly in his chest. This is it. I’m his.
He steps onto the path, and I freeze. For a moment fear casts its shadow in my eyes then I respond to him like I should have in the first place. I snake my fingers under my eyes, wiping away mascara, as if I need such a thing to make me beautiful. I’m everything to him and he will make me see how wonderful we can be together. The elements have chosen him for me.
Then he hears them, the girls playing in the nature area. Their giggles abrade his senses; he has to act fast. He turns toward them, willing them to disappear, hating them for interrupting what should be the best moment of his existence.
When he faces me again, he sees it: my face full of fear, my body trembling. He grits his teeth. He can’t take me like this. He won’t make the same mistakes he did with Faine. His heart squeezes at the thought of her name before he pushes her away. He has to think about me: his future.
He gives me a smile, but it is hard to move his face that way when all he wants to do is scream at the heavens. For a moment he considers taking me even with the girls there. The redhead is the only one paying attention anyway. After a moment, he thinks better of it and moves off the path.
Styx will be upset with him. He’s been harassing Zach to take me and get out of the human realm, but all Styx thinks about is reuniting with Bastion. A few more days won’t hurt him. Besides, this is just the excuse they need to visit her.
Zach follows me back to my dorm, watching me slowly calm down. The fear finally leaves my eyes, and he vows to never put it there again. This is the moment he decides to win my love the old fashioned way. He waits for me to get inside the dorm then trails after Natalie. She meets Sam on the path and they sneak off into the bushes to make out.
He waits until they are done and follows the man back to Notre Dame. When the others arrive, he will insist they help him with his deception. It is unusual, but they will not be able to deny his claim on me. Once he’s learned enough, he approaches Sam, dressed in human clothes. He doesn’t normally wear a glamour, but he doubts the guy will understand his battle gear.
And just like that, I slipped out of his mind again. My body lagged behind my mind and only now registered where we were. Zach’s fingers passed one last time over my cheek before he stepped away from me.
I didn’t know what to say. He’d given me time when he didn’t have to. If he had taken me in the woods, Natalie might have filed a report with St. Mary’s College Security or the Police, but no one would have ever found me. Unlike the other lords, I hadn’t been able to resist his compulsion. Our connection was stronger, had always been stronger.
I stared at him, tears leaking out of my eyes. That was a different lifetime. So much had happened since then. How could he expect me to go back to those feelings? I doubted I even could.
But what if I
ended up like my mother: in love with a man I couldn’t have. She’d wiped her memory of the man she truly loved. I didn’t want that. Even if the worst happened, I wanted to remember Heath. I wanted to remember what he’d done for me, for the rebellion, for my family and my friends.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t stand Zach. I actually liked being around him, and in all honesty, if given enough time, my feelings for him would probably start all over again. But how could I let that happen? How could I betray Heath? I had to find another way, but the only chance I had at getting what I truly wanted was to trust the man in front of me. The man who currently dictated my future, and the man who without a doubt loved me fiercely.
Chapter Six
We let Bastion and Styx fly the rest of the day while Zach and I focused on training. Not that we had much say-so in the matter, but it was nice to pretend I had some control over my pegasus. I was beginning to think we’d just have to come back for them later because court was about to start, but Zach put his fingers to his mouth and whistled.
The shrill sound pierced my ears, so I covered them, scanning the sky for the wayward duo.
After a few moments, they came into view, dancing on the wind together. The joy in their flight made my heart cave a little toward my stubborn ride. Bastion was holding me responsible for her predicament, but by the looks of her, she should have been thanking me. Zach gave Styx a halfhearted scolding, but we got them in the paddock with plenty of time to spare.
When we made it back into our room, Zach, once again, went straight for the closet. And I’d thought we’d made some progress today.
To my surprise, he came out moments later with a garment bag dangling from a finger. “I know you don’t like accepting gifts.” He winked. “Especially from the dreaded fae, but I’ve got something special for your first session in court.”
A smile tugged on my lips until I remembered another present I’d thought was from him. Ainessa had nearly tripped me up with that one. Trying not to open a bright, shiny box nearly undid me. I was convinced resisting that gift was the only thing that kept her from taking my mind over that day.
“I have plenty of ball gowns,” I said, attempting not to sound too ungrateful.
He chuckled. “Who said this is a ball gown.”
I frowned. “Isn’t it?”
His grin ate up his face. “Come, see for yourself, love.”
I smirked at him, only taking a second to decide. When I unzipped the bag, lavender velvet met my fingers. This wasn’t the thick, plush kind. It was crushed with a pattern of vines and roses embossed in the fabric.
The garment slid easily off the hanger and into my hands. As with anything in Faeresia, the workmanship was divine. I held it out, examining every line, every intricate detail of stitching. The cloak was amazing.
I could have used something like this in Ignis. My smile withered immediately. I shouldn’t have thought of Heath’s homeland, but it was hard not to make certain connections.
Zach inched closer. “I thought it would bring out the softness in your eyes and provide cover for you if you desire it.”
My cheeks heated. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
He took the cloak from me and draped it over my shoulders. The weight comforted me more than anything.
Zach slid his hand along my back then gave me a swift pat on the backside. “Best be getting ready. Don’t want to give Valen an excuse to come looking for us, now do we?”
I just rolled my eyes at him. “Give me a minute to find something to go with this?” He nodded but followed me into the closet as if he didn’t trust me to dress myself.
While I searched, he stripped away his shirt. It was harder than it should have been for me to keep my mind focused. I sighed, wishing this wasn’t so complicated, but I was determined to stay true to the man I loved no matter how hot the man standing next to me was.
Finding a dress was harder than it should have been, but I settled on a pale rose ensemble. It wasn’t like I was trying to make a fashion statement anyway.
I blinked the gown on, figuring it was the safest way to change, then went to work on my hair. I’d barely decided on an up-do when Zach strolled out of the closet, still buttoning his shirt.
He wore a suit with a long overcoat that might as well have been designed in the eighteen hundreds. His swagger had returned, reminding me of why I was attracted to him in the first place. He wasn’t making this easy on me; that was for sure.
“Are you ready, lass?” He asked, halting halfway through the last word, the doorway to the closet framing him. His eyes appraised me. “You look beautiful, Rayla.”
I stared at my satin shoes, and said, “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”
He smiled, which helped ease the awkwardness between us. Marching up to me, he offered his arm, and I accepted without hesitation.
He patted my gloved hand. “Don’t be nervous. It is very unlikely they will call on us in this session.”
“What’s it about?”
“Border disputes.” He continued explaining as we headed for the council chambers. “Eldrea and Ignis share a common border. During the winter months, the land shifts and every year we attempt to divide the property evenly. Problems only arise when key settlements show up on the wrong side of the border. Of necessity, we’ve allowed both Ignisian and Eldrean citizens to take residence in these areas, and sometimes, they argue. It really shouldn’t be too troublesome.”
For a moment, I let myself hope to see Mom then I realized I would have to see her bondmate, Theran, too, and my spirits plummeted.
As much as it would mean to me to see her, there really wasn’t any point if he was around. She had to act like he controlled her. Considering what a douche he was, I didn’t blame her, but it made interacting with her a bit harder.
“There’s something you should know,” said Zach in a tone I didn’t like.
I kept it casual. “Hmm?”
“There is a possibility Finn and Cassie will attend.”
“Why?” Initially, I’d thought maybe they were representing Ignis, yet something darker wanted to occupy my mind. “They aren’t in trouble, are they?”
He glanced at me sidelong. “What makes you think they would be in trouble?”
It was just a thought that hit me all the sudden. “I don’t know.”
He sighed. “The truth is Cassie’s been causing a bit of trouble herself, and that’s the real problem.”
It’d been so long since I’d even allowed myself to think about my best friend, and now that the thought took hold, an ache crept inside me. I missed her like she’d died, yet I had been the one to disappear from her life, not the other way around.
I didn’t dare hope that I’d see her, but a tiny part of me still shimmered with excitement thinking about it. I wanted the scoop. I’d had no time with her at all since she and Finn were bonded, and I hoped everything was okay.
“What has she done,” I asked after Zach didn’t elaborate.
He chuckled. “She’s demanded the queen step down for stripping Heath of his titles. Made a pretty big spectacle of herself.”
I laughed. “What has Finn been doing this whole time?”
“I suspect trying to fix the problems Cassie’s creating. He’s not been able to keep up that well, though.”
I couldn’t help myself. I smiled. It stretched across my face, creasing my eyes. Cassie was just what I needed right now.
I barely heard Zach when he said, “Drastic measures may need to be taken.”
“What kind of measures?” I asked.
Zach patted my hand. “Not to worry, love. Finn is looking out for her.”
I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to my best friend. Now, I needed to see her just to make sure she was okay.
*****
The bustle of congregating voices greeted us when we entered the council chambers. Thankfully we were a few minutes early, so everyone was still trying to make it to their seats. I scanned the crowd,
attempting to look casual while my heart slammed against my chest. When I didn’t see Cassie or my mom, my head dipped low to cover my face. Zach had pulled my hood over my head, so it made the deed easier to accomplish.
Everywhere I turned people I didn’t know welcomed me to court, saying how happy they were to have me here and what a fine addition I’d made to Eirie. I forced myself to return polite wishes and thanks, trying to adopt a casual air.
When we entered our box, Zach leaned near. “Well done. You don’t know how many points you just made. You’re better at this than you think.”
I only nodded, still scanning the dispersing crowd hoping for a glimpse of raven ringlets amongst the lingerers.
What I didn’t want to see was Valen staring at me like a wolf would stare down a dying lamb. He gave me a nod, and I gave him a token smile then glanced away, determined to not look at him again throughout the session. I scooted closer to Zach just in case he’d missed my dismissal.
Zach chuckled. “Keep acting like this and you’ll be the one at the head of the room in no time.”
Blood drained from my face and my heart plummeted. And here I’d thought I was holding my own.
“No, love, that’s not what I meant,” he said. “I’m only saying that you are a natural and it shows. Do you remember what I told you?”
I nodded. “No matter what, stay silent.”
He patted my hand like I was a good little fifth grader then scanned the crowd himself.
I tried not to get irritated by his condescension because there was no way he’d treat me that way on purpose. It must have come out wrong.
The minute I turned away from him, I caught sight of Mom. She sat on the right side of the stage. Her puffy eyes and sallow skin made me worry. Other than Valen’s recently departed bondmate, I’d never seen one of these women show a single sign of fatigue. Were they acting, just like I was?
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