A horrible thought struck me. What if Zach wasn’t the strongest lord out there? What if I was now facing what all other Elementals faced from day one? No choice.
Hadn’t I just told Zach there was always a choice? I got a couple of questioning glances as I ran down the castle steps into the glowing daylight, but thankfully no one stopped me.
What was I going to do now? I’d much prefer to spend an eternity with Zach than an hour with Valen. But my real fear was that Heath wouldn’t win. He’d come so far so fast that I shouldn’t have doubted him, yet I couldn’t quite keep the thoughts locked outside my mind. Heath loved me and love should conquer all, but it didn’t sometimes. Sometimes life squashed love to bits.
My shoes had shredded my feet I kicked them off, preferring to go barefoot. Most of the way to the stables was grass anyway, but I cringed every time my soles found a stray pebble.
Once inside, I ran for Styx, only to find his stall empty. Bastion was absent, as well.
Great, the stable hands chose now to do their job? Or had the two found a way to escape after all? I shook my head at the empty room and made for the pasture.
They had to be here somewhere, and I needed to find them. I had to know that if the unthinkable happened I would be able to leave.
Now that I understood I couldn’t drift out of Lombarda, I had to have another plan of escape. I threw open the barn doors and scanned the pasture, looking for pursuers too. When was I going to stop running from these people?
When I didn’t see Styx and Bastion in the pasture, I headed for the trees. I had to have some time alone to think, at the very least. Tabitha had, once again, betrayed me. She’d promised me that if I came back here and worked with Zach, everything would turn out okay.
How could I believe that now? Not only was everything not okay, I was looking at maybe having to spend an entire fae lifetime with someone I abhorred. Even thinking about Valen coated my brain with an ooze of eww.
He was the worst sort of fae—all in it for power and status.
I ran as if my feet had wings. I even tried to drift along the way just to make sure there wasn’t a sweet spot somewhere no one knew about. The forest loomed in front of me, dark and forbidding, but I welcomed the cover. I welcomed the solace. I welcomed the darkness for the first time in my life.
My feet yelled at me when I hit the uneven terrain, but I pressed forward. I kept going until I was deep inside the trees. Here, the sun had no hold, as if this place was forever night. The florescent veins in the plant life illuminated my path well enough, but something inside me acknowledged a dark presence within this place that seemed to flow along with me.
Once upon a time, I would have been afraid, but I had learned not to fear the unknown. Some of my greatest friends and allies were monsters, after all. After a while, I grew tired of the silence.
“Who’s there?” I asked the trees.
No answer greeted me, so I sat on a boulder and waited for whoever it was to come out. When it was clear they weren’t going to speak, I started into a one-sided conversation. “I’m glad you’re here.” Closing my eyes, I chuckled. “I need someone to talk to. You see, I’ve been trying to find a way to bring peace to Faeresia, but it’s clear I’m only good for one thing. Everyone wants my power but me. It’s not like I even know what to do with it.”
A strangled laugh shot up my throat. “No one has told me what they want to do with my power either.” No one but Luke. My mind went back to the first time I’d seen him. He’d been stunningly beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Nothing had changed in that regard. “I’m worried about him,” I whispered to the air. “But I’m also afraid of him. At one point I thought he was my friend.”
Tears leaked out of my eyes. I hadn’t let myself feel this before. More than anything Luke had hurt me. Not because he’d come after me like he did, but because his loss had a profound effect on me.
“I am your friend,” he said from a few yards away from me.
I spun into a crouch, ready to fight or run. “Luke?” I hissed his name, not believing my senses.
He gave me a smirk. “Hoping for someone else? They always do.” His features deflated into a sorrowful frown. “Why is that, Rayla? Tell me—why them and not me?”
To be honest, I really didn’t know. His desperation scared me for one, but there was something else, I couldn’t quite pinpoint. His very nature was volatile, like the sea, like his element. At any moment this man could turn on me. I was stupid to come here alone. “The others will be here to get me soon,” I said, frantic for that to be true.
He laughed. “I’m sure they will. Someone always seems ready to save the day for you. At one point, I even thought that would be me.”
“Luke,” I said, but I couldn’t finish. What could I say to him that wouldn’t make this worse than it already was between us?
He shook his head, strolling closer to me. “Not to worry, my lady. My days of conquer are sadly over.”
I frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
“I am a hunted man.” He cocked his head at me. “For crimes against the state, it seems.”
“But I thought—”
He raised a finger. “Ah, you’ve been told that I’m a hero? That the council applauded me for my efforts to claim you?”
I nodded. If he came any closer, I would be forced to run. I couldn’t trust him. If I’d learned one thing from my time with him it was that.
“Do you know that when I went to the island I had direct orders not to do anything? I was to lead my best friend into a war zone. I was only to gather information.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I betrayed him and he doesn’t even know it because in the end I was betrayed too.”
I shook my head, hardly believing what he was saying.
“I couldn’t risk losing you, but in the end we both did. How ironic.” His laugh echoed around me.
“Who gave you those orders?” I asked, keeping a wary eye on him at all times.
“Why, our illustrious leader, of course. How could I have known his plan then? He was recently bonded. He shouldn’t have been a threat. I agreed for the safety of my people, but I should have known better. He has always found a way to stay on top.”
“Valen?”
He dipped his chin in a nod, letting out a chuckle. He had a way of sounding so casual and in control, but something about the set of his body told me he barely managed to keep himself constrained. “This,” he said, spreading his arms wide. “Is our finest land. We used to share in the bounty, but now, we allow the leaders of our nations to bask in wealth while most of us work to support them.”
I scoffed. He had no idea what poverty looked like. He should visit some of the rural towns I’d seen. Then he’d know the countenance of poor.
“You don’t believe me,” he said, using an overly soft tone. “In that case, I may as well lay it all out for you.”
My whole body stiffened when he stepped closer. I held up my hand. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather keep some distance between us.”
Something like regret slid over his eyes before he bowed low, flourishing his hand to the side. “Whatever the lady wishes, the lady shall receive.” With an easy stride, he walked over to a tree and leaned against the trunk, crossing his ankles. “You’ve seen the pretty icing of our world, Rayla, but you have no idea what lurks beneath—the writhing mass of putrid filth that propels our nations onward.”
I pursed my lips at his dramatics. “I’ve seen the dark realms. That should count for something.”
“Ah, yes, your monster companions.” He lifted his brows and smiled. “Too bad they are not here for you now. I have a secret to share. They have been banished from our fair city. Even if you did manage to name all of them, they would not be allowed back.”
I shook my head at him again. He was so full of hate, so volatile. I felt it the first moment I met this man. His motives may be just, but there was something dark about his very na
ture.
“There you go again. I see it in your eyes. The judgment. How is it you can have compassion for the most disgusting creatures in existence, but for me you turn away in disgust?”
I had no answer to his question. He was right. He scared me, beautiful shell and all. Everything about him was a lie, from his flowing mane to his perfectly tanned skin. I’d only seen his real face when he’d been weakened from Ainessa’s attacks.
“You were working with her, Luke. What was I supposed to do? Let you have me, so she could use me to destroy this world?”
He lowered his face and his blond locks fell forward, shielding his eyes from me. “Those were dark times. I would rather not discuss them.”
Anger shot through me. “I’d rather not have nightmares about those times either, but there you go. You have done nothing but try to compel me from the moment I met you. I frankly don’t care if you’re in trouble. You should be in trouble for what you did to me!”
He laughed. “Any one of my brothers would have done the same thing—”
I was tired of hearing his lies. “They all had opportunity, but you were the only one that tried to make me bond with you. I have no idea why compulsion doesn’t work the same on me, but they adjusted. They tried to win my heart. You just wanted to dominate. I’m not going to feel sorry for you now that you are being held to task for what you did!”
“Ha,” he barked. “Ha-ha! You think I am being chased because of what I did to you? You naïve little girl, I’m being chased because I failed to accomplish what I was told to do. You have no idea what you’re up against here. You think you can avoid the unpleasantries of court, but I assure you, you haven’t begun to see what we are capable of.” He shook his head. “If I wasn’t done with you, I might be tempted to help you.”
I stood up. “No one is asking for your help. You’ve done quite enough already.”
He gave a short nod. “Even though I would have done the same thing if she hadn’t been with me, I do feel bad about how it happened.” He grinned at me. “I had planned to seduce you.”
I shook off a shiver. He had come so close to wearing down my defenses. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”
He smiled, that radiant sun god smile of his, his blue eyes shining bright as the Caribbean Sea. “You keep believing that, Rayla. One day, it might just be true.”
My chin jutted upwards. “It’s always been true, Luke. You just never saw things the way they were.”
He clamped his eyes shut. “I see I am not wanted here. Forgive me for intruding on your solitude, my lady. You should be careful, though. You never know who or what might be lurking out here in the woods.”
Another shiver sliced over me. He smiled then he walked away. I traced his movements until he was no longer visible.
Once he was out of sight, I slumped, holding my head in my hands. What the heck just happened? I’d imagined seeing Luke again, but in my mind our reunion had been nothing like this. In my mind he’d asked me to forgive him, and I had.
He was nothing more than a jaded lord with a grudge against the whole world. That being said, a part of me couldn’t blame him for reacting the way he had. I mean, he had been spurned so many times. I hadn’t meant to say some of the things I let slip, but I couldn’t help it. He’d taken my innocence where love is concerned when he tried to force me to bond with him. More than anything I wanted to make my own choices. I wanted to be free enough to live the life I chose, not something that someone dictated to me.
His voice rang out again in my thoughts How is it you can have compassion for the most disgusting creatures in existence, but for me you turn away in disgust?
I had no good answer to that question, still. Somewhere inside Luke was a hurt little boy, but I wasn’t the girl that could help him. I wasn’t the one that could see past his faults to the shiny core inside him. It was there. I’d seen it at times, but the years of perceived discrimination had corroded his character until all that was left was a man that would do anything to get what he wanted. He thought he deserved it, and he might in a different circumstance.
The last thing I wanted to do was judge him. I’d prided myself on letting others be who they were, but with Luke, I couldn’t. The weird part was I didn’t know why.
Rustling sounded down the path, and I froze. What now?
Zach came into view a few moments later. His face was drawn and his eyes full of sorrow. He didn’t say anything; he just walked up to me and took me into his arms.
I let him hug me, taking comfort in his embrace. “When does it start?” I asked.
His chest expanded sharply as he pulled in a long, tortuous breath. “Tomorrow, love. All we have left together is tonight until the outcome is decided.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I never meant to hurt you. Before Heath came along I thought we’d be together. I thought…things would turn out much differently than they have.”
He smiled, giving me the wolfish expression I’d seen the first time I met him. “The day is not over, love.”
He slid a finger along my exposed arm and my body exploded with desire. I took a deep breath to steady myself then said, “I can’t, Zach.”
He chuckled, playing with a piece of my hair that had escaped the complicated pinning’s he’d pulled off earlier. “I know. I wouldn’t expect anything more from you, but if this is to be our last night together, I want to make it count.”
I cocked my head at him, curious. “What did you have in mind?”
He stepped away. “I’ve been training you employing old-fashioned methods we’ve used from the beginning. Tonight, I want to teach you to defend yourself.”
My eyes flew wide and my heart gave a strangled beat before speeding up. “You’re giving up already?”
He laughed. “Hardly. The truth is I don’t know what will happen. Should you be faced with Valen as your bondmate, I want you to be prepared. He will not spare you. He will delve into your mind until nothing of you remains.”
Yeah, that sounded pleasant. I swallowed, looking Zach in the eyes. “I’m ready to learn.”
He gave me a grave nod. “Compulsion should be your last resort. You need to develop a connection with your power that is readily available at all times.”
I swallowed, hard. Compulsion? I didn’t know how to compel anyone, really. I didn’t ever want to know either. “How?”
He stood opposite me and took a step back. “First, you must find the core of your power. Every person is different, fae included. You must find the source, but you must not let anyone know where it is. To do so will invite trouble.”
I’d already had enough of him. “But how do I look for it?”
“It’s a pulse inside you. Not your heartbeat, but close. You have to still your body and your mind to hear it. Only then will you be able to travel the course to find it.” He stepped closer to my ear and whispered. “Close your eyes.”
I only hesitated for a second, but he still managed to notice. “You must trust me, Rayla.”
“I’m trying,” I said, meaning it.
He scoffed, but I kept my eyes shut. “You shouldn’t have to try. Just let the feeling flow through you.”
I took a couple of deep breaths and told my body to calm down.
“That’s a start, but this level of awareness will never lead you to your source. You must detach yourself from reality. You must step out of your world, out of your body and mind.”
The only time I felt that way was when I practiced Shendo, but I couldn’t do that in front of him. Somehow, I didn’t think he’d approve.
“What is it,” he asked. “Your emotions have shifted. If you know of a way, you must do it.”
I opened my eyes. “I don’t want you to see.”
He frowned at me. “Why not?”
When I picked at my nails, he swatted my hand. “Stop it! You’re going to end up with stubs for fingers.”
I gave him a mocking smirk and stuck out my tongue.
He just rolled his e
yes. “Are you done being juvenile? We don’t have much time. If I’m to have any chance at winning tomorrow, I need my sleep.” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “That reminds me. I’ll need the bed tonight.”
I nodded, not about to argue with him over a bed. It wasn’t like I was going to get any sleep anyway.
He smiled. “I don’t mind sharing, you know.”
I shook my head at his teasing. “Too bad for you, I do.”
“Okay,” he said, as if to clear his mind. “Now that you know what to do, go ahead. I’ll turn my back if you wish.”
Of all the lame situations. I shook my head at myself. Why should it matter if Zach watched me do a kata? He’d probably be bored, but it wasn’t like I needed to worry about what he thought. If I took my pride out of the equation all I had left was a desire to learn.
My movements started slowly. After my salutations I began in a crouch then spread my body upward, reaching for the sky. I spun and kicked then punched the air, releasing some of my trapped anger. I moved onward, slowing my momentum until I lost track of my movements. My body flowed along the river of my consciousness. Time lost all meaning for me. Thought lost its hold on my mind. I allowed myself to just be.
For a moment I’d lost my purpose, but then it was there again. I was supposed to find something inside me. A source? I listened for the beating, but my heart was the only sound I could hear.
Was my heart the source of my power? I concentrated on the sound, letting the pulse take up my body. My veins became my existence. My awareness rushed forward, expanding from my heart outward.
My source of power had to be my heart. It was the only beat I could sense inside me until…what was that? My awareness rushed forward, upward. There was a different pulse. This one barely recognizable, but it was there.
A slight thumping hummed under the spot on my temple. This was the same place the angel had touched in my dream when I was in Altasia. I inhaled a gasp. He’d touched my source. He’d also given me a speck of light that had sunk into my skin and hadn’t shown itself since. Where had it gone? Was it inside this power supply? I had no way of knowing unless I could somehow get inside the bubble that housed my elemental control. My eyes flew open.
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