“So, I should just do what I think is right?”
Nicco gave me a solid nod. “A simple rule to live by, but it usually works.”
The truth was I didn’t know the extent of the abilities I’d inherited from my father. He’d healed me; he’d also given me strength.
I shuddered thinking about what that other guard had done to me. He’d physically changed my insides or something. It had been the single weirdest experience in my life, and that was saying quite a bit considering.
Thunder rolled outside, followed by another flash of lightning. “Are the other guards here?” I asked.
Nicco nodded. “We have been summoned.”
“By Valen?”
“We answer to another master.”
“Who?”
“Not important.”
“Will I have to deal with the guards?” I asked in a rush. I still had no idea how much longer I had until hell met me at the doors.
“Of course,” he said, showing no emotion at all.
I clamped my eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to find my source. Even though my power had been drained, the spot continued in a steady beat. I sought for power, hoping to find it renewed, but no such luck.
The elements were dead to me, which made me wonder. If elemental power wasn’t the only power available to me, what had been responsible for the supposed magic I’d used?
I turned to Nicco and glanced at Tabitha. “Where does my non elemental power come from?”
“Creation,” said Nicco.
Really? I tried to piece together a jumble of thoughts: Ainessa had a germ of creation that could rewrite this world into whatever she wanted it to be. Valen wanted to use my power to ignite the germ himself. Creation responds best to women. That’s why he wanted me to reach out to him. Could I ignite her germ without being near it? Could I rewrite time myself?
“If I ignited Ainessa’s germ, what would happen?” I asked.
Neither responded right away. Eventually Nicco spoke up. “Creation responds to the source that wields it.”
“What does that mean? I want to know if I could control it if I started it.”
“That is an unknown,” he said.
He really needed to learn to be more helpful.
The noise outside had grown so immense it drowned out my thoughts. The walls began to shake and the floor shifted beneath my feet.
I glanced at Nicco.
“You are ready,” he told me.
It didn’t really matter if I was or not, I had to face this. I raced down the stairway toward the castle doors.
If I was to fight Valen, it would be on my terms. I didn’t care if he brought the entire fae army with him, he would not win this battle.
As my thoughts of victory intensified, so did the beating of my source. It swelled inside me until it drowned out all other noise.
I rounded the last corner, racing down the curved staircase three steps at a time toward the beckoning doorway. The floor to ceiling mirror next to me vibrated and the air grew heavy with an ominous presence.
I jumped the last six steps to the foyer and sped for the doors. The mirror shattered before I could reach them, shards spiraling toward me.
I raised my hand, commanding them to stop. I didn’t even turn around to see if they obeyed me.
When I flung the doors wide, Valen waited for me with a sea of people behind him. He wore full glamour, drenched in an aura of glory that did not belong to him. I took one look at him and stopped cold. It wasn’t because I was afraid. I was afraid, but I needed to compose myself before I dealt with him. His stare should have melted me where I stood, but I heaved in a long breath and stared right back.
He gave me a wicked grin that spread until it was a full blown leer. Someone should have told him that Jack the Ripper wasn’t exactly a good look for him.
The royal guard stood directly behind him. They should have made me tremble, but they were my kin. I couldn’t think of them like that anymore. I’d always feared them, but I hadn’t understood who they were. Knowing what I did now, I wondered if I feared them so much because a part of me recognized I was like them.
When Valen didn’t speak, I took one step toward him. He smiled as if he’d already won. Then it hit me. Did he think he was compelling me?
The only thing I could hear still was the steady rhythm of my source. Call it magic, call it power, or creation, it didn’t matter what the name was. It was part of me. It always had been.
I continued down the steps, making my progress look difficult for show. Valen stayed where he was, allowing me to close the gap between us.
I stopped two feet away from him, close enough to touch, but not close enough to embrace. He gave me a speculative once over then his jaw stiffened.
“So it is to be war then?”
I nodded.
Then I conjured big metal hammer and conked him over the head.
He flinched when it hit him before he glanced up and plucked it from the air. With guarded amusement he studied it then tossed it on the ground. Laughter erupted from him, small but violent. “You have the power of the universe at your disposal, and you try to bludgeon me?” He laughed some more.
I shrugged, making myself keep the corners of my mouth from lifting. It was the first thing that came to me. Give me a break.
My mouth tightened into a severe line as I stared at him. He was everything that should never have been made. He was evil, but without evil, could one really understand goodness?
No matter how much I hated him for what he’d done, for what he’d become, pity stirred inside me. Even if I could ignite Ainessa’s germ, I had no right to dissolve who he was. That decision and power belonged to someone with a far sight greater insight than I possessed.
I glanced around the crowd, recognizing people as I went. All of them, loved and feared, had been created for a purpose. I couldn’t understand what that purpose was for some of them, and I didn’t want to acknowledge the role of others, but it was laid out in front of me.
Every possibility for every single entity around me swirled in my thoughts like movies in my head. Free will existed in everyone, including creatures, fae, and unknowns. No matter who or what they were, they were responsible for their decisions, and I was responsible for mine.
Valen needed to be dealt with, but within the foundations of the law. I still didn’t know the law, so how could I sentence him to anything? Ainessa stood behind him, a blank expression on her face. No matter how much I disliked her, she deserved to use her will. The good in her, although a shallow well, still held some substance. She deserved to damn herself if she would, but I wouldn’t do it. As I glanced around I could see the essential essence of every single person there, good and bad inside all of them. Their choices streamed together, flowing into the tapestry that made this world.
This world had already been created…by someone else. It was their rules that should decide, not mine.
Rustling of skirts sounded behind me, and I glanced back. Tabitha stood there, wild and wonderful. Her soul spoke to mine in a language older than this world. She was not like me, but she served my kind.
She bowed before me, lowering her face toward the steps.
I shook my head at her, but something else called me. A beckoning light in the distance. It drew nearer, or maybe I did. I couldn’t say.
Within the light, stood a man.
My angel greeted me with a small smile.
“Your time has come,” he said. “What is your choice?”
I still didn’t quite understand this, but he didn’t seem to have the need to clarify. “I don’t want to choose.”
His deep voice swirled around me. “That is still a choice, young one.”
“Is it an option?” I asked, hoping it was. “Can I keep things the same?”
“Yes.”
“What if I chose that? What would happen?”
“The possibilities are limitless.” His voice held no emotion at all, giving me no clue
to the outcome if I did choose the status quo.
“What if I want to only change part of it?”
“That is your choice as well.”
“What if I just want to rewind time?”
“Time has already been written. You could reverse time, but would you choose something different a second time around?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you go back in time, your memories of the future will no longer exist. You can not possess memories of a time that has not taken place.”
Well, that was just fantastic. So much for getting Sam back. “Is there a way for me to bring a friend of mine back to life?”
“The young man has already passed from this world into the next. You cannot call him back without reversing time.”
“Would I be able to save him if I did?”
“Only if you would make different choices.”
Damn. I couldn’t say that I would. What if I ended up right back here? Would I remember what I’d done already? Would I open up some kind of freak time loop that lasted forever?
“It is possible,” said the angel. “If you made the same choices you would live these events for eternity.”
I shivered. Natalie would be devastated. I didn’t know how I was going to tell her. I couldn’t risk halting progression completely to save Sam.
“You’ve forgotten about your gift. Open your hand.”
When I did, a single spec of light hovered above my skin then floated upward. I gasped when I realized what it was. I looked at the angel. Was he an angel? “Am I right? Is this what I think it is?”
He nodded.
My hand turned over without my command. The light moved again, floating over my ring for an instant then it disappeared into the ruby which now glowed like Ainessa’s ring had. I had forgotten about the germ of creation Faine had sent to me. It had become part of me. I still didn’t know how to use it or exactly what it was capable of. When Sister Mary Margaret, or as I now thought of her, Lily, had given the ring to me, she’d said it would be a protection. So much for that.
I looked to the angel again, and he stared at me as if this moment was significant. Somehow being near him wasn’t as painful this time, as if he’d dampened himself for me, yet I still couldn’t keep his gaze. I stared at the glowing ring on my finger instead.
What the heck was happening?
He responded to my thoughts. “It is yours to use when you feel the time is right,” he said softly.
“I’m never going to want to use it,” I said. “Whatever it is.”
He gave me a slight shake of the head. “So young. So naïve. The course you have chosen is a difficult path.” His hand stretched toward my face, and I tensed. He balled his hand into a fist before it reached me, pulling it back slightly. He smiled at me as if to reassure me. “You still have not called on the memory I gave you.”
“I’m not sure I want to know,” I told him.
“So said another young woman to me not so long ago.”
Was he talking about Faine? What did she have to do with this?
Without another word spoken his fingers lifted to my temple. Pain exploded with the memory.
I drift into Faine’s body and she takes a deep breath. Excitement fills her, yet a lingering remorse won’t keep her fully immersed in the moment. She does not know if she has made the right choice. She’s gone over every contingency she can think of, but since she bonded, her sight has been limited.
She glances up. Ammon waits for her, arms folded over his solid chest. Even after a hundred years with him he never ceases to excite her.
“What did he want?” he asks, a cold resolve flittering over his features.
She meets his beautiful eyes. “To tell me he has given up his claim to me.”
Zach lets out a growl. “He never had a claim to you.” He moves closer as if emphasizing his words.
She knows better, but she doesn’t tell him how much control Callum possesses over her. She’s already lost one man to the bond. She won’t lose this one, not now that she has decided to love him.
He’s complex and intriguing. No other man could ever tempt her again.
Zach walks toward her, his head slightly lowered, eyes intent on her. She takes in his tall frame, his long nearly black hair and those mystifying eyes of his and shivers.
He stares at her, knowing her so well, and gives her a predator’s smile. She’s hidden this secret from him for so long and it must remain that way. He must not ever know how close he came to losing her. She vows to never hide another thing from him again.
“What is troubling you, Faine,” he asks, his gaze sweeping over her. Tonight when he makes love to her, she will respond. She will love him in return. She’s wanted to for decades now, but she couldn’t let herself love him then. Callum was too close to stealing her. Ammon must never know just how close.
Things are different now.
I attempt to lift myself from this memory. If I have to see Zach touch her I think I’ll puke.
Her feelings overwhelm mine, yet I am still aware of the separation between us. Her memories jumble just as he reaches her, as if fast forwarding to another time.
Tears stream down her face. She’s had an eternity with Ammon, but the time has slipped through her fingers, washed away in the sands of mortality.
He shushes her, but that only makes her sobs intensify. She can’t go on without him. If there is any way she can have him she will find it. She was not strong enough to fully claim him, but Tabitha assured her one would come that could.
Her only hope is that her descendent won’t want him. Her only desire is that she’ll be called back to this world by the only person who can do such a thing: Me.
I gasp, nearly ejecting myself from the moment, but I make myself stay. He can’t hear her thoughts anymore. The bond between them is nearly broken, so she lets her desires flood into this moment.
He’ll know me when he sees me. He’ll feel the elements. He’ll be connected to me through her. She reaches out and touches him with the last spark of her power. As she kisses him, she plants a trigger just like Ainessa taught her to. When I come to him he will know what to do.
When he withdraws from her, she fights the rend in her heart. She swallows and removes the ring he gave her, the ring his sister gave him. My ring. She hands it to him, and he places it in a pouch at his belt.
The pain on his face makes the moment easier for her somehow. “I’ll never forget you,” she says, knowing for a surety it is true.
He shakes his head. “You will forget in time. You will fall in love with another man, have children.” His voice catches on the last word, and he swallows. Then as if a shield lowers, steel covers his expression. “You must forget me.”
She smiles at him and touches her fingertips to his lips. “I will do my duty, but it will be your face I see when I make love. It will be you I love, always.”
His jaw tightens and she pretends she sees moisture in his eyes. “It is time,” he says.
She nods, lifting herself onto her toes. “Peace be with you, my love.”
Then she turns and walks through the barrier to the man waiting for her on the other side. She feels her memory slipping as she enters the mortal realm, but she touches her trigger and they return.
The man smiles at her and she returns the gesture then goes to him. He is the first of his kind, just as she is of hers. She has seen the future her children will face. It will not be easy with the corruption they will face, but it will be worth it in the end.
The memory faded and I found myself with the angel again. I blinked, bringing myself into this moment. Zach was right about Faine. She had done what she thought was right. What more could I have asked of her?
I let my desires for this world flow through me now, no longer afraid to make a choice. I wanted to change things. I just wasn’t sure how to do it. “I would like to talk to her,” I told him. “Will you bring her to me?”
He nodded once before we z
ipped through space until we looked down upon the Earth. From up here the world looked whole. So many creatures and people inhabited this celestial orb, and he showed me the masses still to come throughout time.
“How long will it last?” I asked, breathless at the prospects of what I was committing to do. Immortality suddenly seemed like a heavy burden. A burden I would soon face if my plan worked.
“Until it has fulfilled its purpose,” he said, and I was aware he would tell me no more about it. “You are wise to request council,” he said, glancing down at me.
I would need a lot of help, and Faine was only one person I wanted to speak to about choosing the best plan for the world.
My vision heightened, zoning in on Hy-Brasil. My gaze pierced its shield. Like Faeresia, it was invisible to mortal eyes. Humans had no idea just how much went on in the world to keep them safe, to keep the planet safe from outside and inside threats.
For the first time I understood why the fae were allowed to inhabit the Earth. They were guardians. But service without reward seemed wrong to me.
“They have their reward,” the angel said. “They have a home for now.”
I gave him a skeptical frown. “There are so many good people among them. Can’t an exception be made?”
“Would you give up your eternity for theirs?” he asked.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“They are known as rule breakers.”
“So are humans,” I said in defense of the people I loved. “But exceptions are made for them.”
“They do not have true knowledge yet,” he said.
“What if the fae didn’t either?” I asked, a sudden idea striking me.
He stood silent for a moment, making me aware of the absolute lack of sound in space. He finally spoke, “You desire to remove their memory?”
Pain was the only thing I’d ever seen in fae memories of their time before Earth. “Could they relearn what they will lose?”
He gave a sigh. “If they obey the law anything would be possible for them.”
Hope fluttered in my heart. “Would they be able to progress again?”
He shook his head. “They are needed in this world and have a contract to fulfill.”
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