by Pamela Ann
I was the culprit behind it all—the bad guy—and even after it all, I had the gall to take it all away once she had patched the destroyed Dimitris.
Then there I was again, threatening it once more, willing to fight her nail for nail, tooth for tooth, wrath for wrath, for what we both loved.
Good luck to us both. May the best bitch win
Chapter 15
Dimitris
After several missed calls and ignored voicemails, my phone beeped for a text message…stating that Lindsey arrived thirty minutes ago and was now inside his home since I hadn’t picked up any of their calls and that she was in the approved list of people to be let through, they didn’t question her when she asked to go inside the house.
My security team was meticulous with these sorts of situations and I couldn’t help but dread Lindsey’s surprised visit. Especially not after the kind of scandal that unfolded that greeted me early Christmas morning. Had she shown up the night prior, I would’ve been overly rapturous. But after this enormous scandal that I had no clue how or who was behind it, it simply placed me in a supremely vulnerable position. The media had no idea the kind of damage they had unfolded.
So here I was, stuck in my parked car in Pappou’s villa after bidding them all a blessed goodnight, trying to figure out how to face the woman that would surely leave me in a heartbeat. Was that why she’s here? To confront me about it? I was almost sure she had an alert on her phone every single time my name appears in the internet. If that’s the reason, then why hadn’t she called me to begin with…at least then, I’d have an idea or a roughened estimate of her anger towards me…or if I was still be redeemable in her eyes.
After the news broke, I immediately called Claudine, demanding if she had any part of it because the photos though obviously taken from the windows, it was glaringly and unmistakably clear who the subjects were. When Pappou called an hour later reserving his lecture as he questioned what it was all about, I was utterly left bereft as I found myself questioning the events of that night. Undoubtedly, there were things I had done but had a vague recollection of it.
“Lindsey…fuck…I’m sorry,” I whispered much to myself, destroyed at the knowledge that I almost had what I wanted and through reckless actions, I’m about to lose it all once more.
How often had I ignored Lindsey’s warnings and wiles, demanding that I stop seeing Claudine? Surely she had sensed something that I surely couldn’t. But it was rather too late for regrets. I must deal with this and whatever the outcome of my dishonorable actions.
I felt like a man who was bounded for the scaffold ready to be executed. It wasn’t a far-fetched contrast since Lindsey held the key to my future, and without her—
“FUCK—” Groaning as I closed my eyes, recalling that very fragile moment when she decided to leave me for the very first time, never experiencing anything like it. The distinct lacerating ache that I got in my chest was unforgettable. And it was only a matter of time until she’d impart me with the same gift that I vowed never wanted to experience again in the same lifetime. But the joke was clearly lost on me because this time, it was my undoing.
Taking a deep shattering breath, I reluctantly turned on the engine before pulling out of the villa and headed for home. As much as I wanted to stay and never face the confrontation that awaited me back at home, I knew I couldn’t hide from her forever. I wasn’t a coward, and yet time and time again, when it came to the woman I loved, she always proved me otherwise. Had it been a different woman, I was almost sure I could almost cajole her into forgiving me, or at least work on forgiveness but this was Lindsey…and Lindsey Mason was a caliber all to herself. She had enough money in her own right that surely wouldn’t entice her to double her worth had I offered it in return of being pardoned with this large-scale mishap. Had it been someone else, I could’ve showered them with presents and sincere promises that would benefit us both, but again, I sure know that Lindsey couldn’t be coaxed into anything unless she convinces herself that it was for the best. Of course, one could always resort to proposing marriage since she had persisted about it less than a week ago…but it would be too late now.
The drive from my Pappou’s villa to mine was rather short since I hadn’t minded the speed limit I had been going, I got here in less than ten minutes which normally would take me half an hour give or take. Once the gate opened, I barely acknowledge the security men before driving past them. The second I shifted my car to park, my heart soared as it heavily pounded against my chest, seeming as if it was about to come out of my body. My forehead started to get hot before my hands began to sweat. Every single anatomy in my body felt alive, fully functioning to its full capacity like I was some on illegal narcotics.
Huffing out a dreaded sigh, I silenced the voices in my head before I wished myself the very best of luck before gripping the door handle upon entering the foyer. Closing the door behind me, I listened for any sound emitting anywhere so I could easily locate her but much to my luck, there wasn’t any thing other than the dead silence of the night. Without breaking my stride, I knew she probably was in bed, sleeping from the long flight like she usually did. Taking the steps two at a time, I finally got to the second floor before sharply turning into the opposing hall that led to the other wing to which was my bedroom. Pacing towards the enclosed doors, I gradually yanked my tie, loosening it as I progressed with a ready speech upon my tongue. But when I opened the door with my stampeding heart bouncing to madness, I was greeted by the sight of her in her small skimpy nightdress blowing her black lacquered nails with a bright smile on her beautiful face. A face I memorized to heart.
“Surprise!” she exclaimed before she almost ran up to me and gave me a kiss of a lifetime. “Merry delayed Christmas baby,” she huskily murmured against my lips, while I was momentarily taken aback from her loving reception that I wasn’t sure what to do next. It probably took me a second or two before my arms encircled her petite form, hugging her as if it were the last time.
“Merry late Christmas, agape mou.” My voice cracked upon saying the words. Emotions ran too deep that I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved that she didn’t greet me with a knife upon entering the bedroom.
“…waited so I thought I’d keep myself up by doing my nails,” she was blabbering about her nails, making me frown a moment. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I want to be all over you but my nails aren’t dry yet.”
Relief coursed through me as I simple enjoyed the sound of her voice as I held her close to my heart. This…I could very well lose all of this very soon if I don’t tell her what was going on. There was nothing worse than breaking something so amazing such as this that it was somewhat diabolical to even consider it—but I rather she heard it from me because by the time the sun will come up tomorrow, I was almost sure as fire that she’d eventually get a whiff of it.
“Baby,” she softly murmured. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you saying a thing? Did I come at a bad time?”
I shook my head, feeling like a complete fool. “I just missed you—I wanted to hold you for a while longer…”
She sighed before leaving a soft kiss on the base of my neck. “I’ve missed you too—more than you’ll ever know.”
Say it, my mind raced, pushing me on. Say it.
“Linds…”
“Hmm?”
I hesitated a moment, gathering some air to breathe into my lungs. “There’s something I must tell you…” Cupping her pretty face, I gazed into the eyes of my future that I coveted with entirety. “I…” my heart stop racing as her dark eyes flickered back and forth, waiting. “You see, there’s this development—and I—” Royally fucked it all up, my mind butted in but my tongue held its ground, hesitant to say the words that once spoken, it could never be taken back.
FUCK.
With my brows furrowed, I pressed my forehead against hers with my eyes closed, torn apart from wanting to confess what was going on and from wanting to save her from the hurt that will surely
wreck havoc between us.
“I don’t know where to start with this…but I have to ask something of you.” This was it. This was the end of it all. “I—would it…” I paused before taking a last breath. “Would it be possible if you stay away from the internet for a little while?” I was a coward and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I was. It was right on my tongue, the words that would put us back into a limbo but I couldn’t do it…for the life of me, I just couldn’t afford to lose her. Everything else but her.
“Why? What’s going on, Dimi? What happened?” She sounded alarmed before she shook me a little, forcing me to open my eyes to gaze into hers, seeking the truth into my guarded ones. “What did you do?”
“I can’t explain it yet—but I beg of you—grant me this one request and I promise with all that I am, I’ll fully disclose everything.” My security and team of lawyers were all investigating who took the photos and how it resurfaced. But without the full details in hand, I simply didn’t want to tell her without all of these information that might be vital to salvage a little bit of what we have. “Please.” I begged. “I know this is too much to ask but I just can’t risk it all.”
She frowned, looking betrayed and frightened all at once. “You’re scaring me…” she whispered, “what did you do that’s gotten you this way?”
“Lindsey—”
She rapidly shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “What did you do this time?” She was slowly retreating from me and I didn’t have the words to comfort her.
Her tears, I hated the very sight of them, but most of all, I hated the fact that I was the cause of it.
“Dimi?” she asked in a small broken voice.
Reaching out to her, my arms held like as if they were bands of steel and couldn’t be easily broken down. For a second I treasured the feel of her beating heart against my body, her softness and her scent that gave me the sweetest dreams—all of it I memorized as if it were the last time. The back of my throat hurt from trying to contain the unfurling emotions inside me. “I love you, do you know that?” I roughly declared before readying to lay my heart on her hand. “The things I said in LA…I hope you know that I wished to take them all back…whatever happens, don’t ever let doubts and other people’s opinion sway the truth—” Taking her hand to place against my beating heart, I bore into her welling eyes. “You’re always going to be here—it’s going to be your name I’ll whisper for the last time until death takes me. It’ll be your face that I’ll think before darkness takes me. No one—no one will ever take your place. You must understand that no matter what happens, no other woman can replace where you reside.”
She sobbed, lips quivering as she held her palm against her heart. “Please stop! I can’t—I can’t do this right now.” She stammered before giving me a pleading look.
The back of my eyes stung as if it were burning as I watched her quietly weep. I felt helpless but I knew there was nothing that could shield her from the hurt that will surely break us apart. “If I don’t…I might not have the strength to do this again.” The process itself was killing me. “I’ll try to condense it and I vow to answer all your questions as honestly as I could—I am so sorry…”
Her face smeared with ears, barely glancing at me as she kept sobbing softly. “I don’t want to hear it. Not right now…” she pleadingly cried, hiccupping her words. “I’m not ready. Whatever it is…I’m just not ready.”
“But you must hear what I have to say and I’d rather you hear it from me other than the media or someone else—you have to know my side—”
She wept harder before her knees buckled, letting her knees fall into the ground before she sitting on her heels. “I don’t have that many happy memories—and the little I have—most of them were made with you.” Her shattered small smile dug itself into my heart, my very existence. “I have given myself completely...loving you unconditionally with no reservations for my own safety. I’m sorry…but I just can’t let you finish, Dimi…”
“Don’t be sorry—you have done nothing—not a bloody thing. This was my own fault. My stubbornness and arrogance into believing that it would be me to cause any troubles for us.” Taking a few steps, I knelt alongside her, cradling the back of her head against my hands. “Whether you will or you won’t…I hope someday you’ll find it in you to forgive me. Everything I have said, shown or proved to you before—you must know that they were all real.”
“I know,” she said grasping at my shirt, bunching them with her fingers.
In the middle of the room, on the carpeted floor, holding each other close, I desolately listened to her soft mewling cries. I had come so low that even I couldn’t fathom to forgive myself for hurting the woman I vowed never to hurt. Not only that, but she had gone through so much Hell in such an early age that I felt like the Grim Reaper, adding more injury to her already shaken stance in life, to her already vulnerable disposition…especially since it happened merely days apart from the scare she had with her brother Carter and then the following fight we had right after.
Some protector I was.
There was nothing left for me to do than castigate myself for my irresponsible actions. Though I had vague memories of that night with Claudine, what I truly remembered was spouting off how I felt after the visit in LA. It was wrong—I knew that now but at that time, I simply needed someone to speak to and since she had instantly called me after I got off my jet inviting me for drinks, I went thinking that maybe if I just air out what I felt just this once—then—maybe then I’d feel so much better for the decision I made with Lindsey. There were a lot of wine and brandy but most of all, there were memories of me trying to justify the route I chose to take…but after the third bottle of wine, things became a little blurry from then on. And when I asked Claudine how and why we ended up naked the next day, she shrugged, saying she had no clue either.
Fours after hours I had racked my brain trying to recall events that occurred that night, but every time, I was always ended up with blankness. I admit there were times that I was obliterated and waking up the next day barely remembering anything. And it wasn’t the first time that I ended up naked with someone in bed. So there lied the problem. I wasn’t sure what I had done because I fucking had no clue.
Would she forgive me if the time came that she was ready to hear my confession? Would she pause, give me the benefit of the doubt, and believe when I tell her that I had no recollection after finishing the third bottle of wine? Gathering her limp body, I softly placed her head against my shoulder while her body sat on my lap. “I’m sorry,” I hopelessly said with my entire heart. Her mewling cries turned into a full blown devastating cry, as if she had just received news that someone she loved had just died. Maybe in a sense, something did die…it was her trust that she had bestowed on me even though she had reservations when it came to Claudine…still she gave it to me or else she wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Seconds, minutes turned into hours before she finally subsided into stillness. She wasn’t asleep but she didn’t appear as if she wanted to move so I remained holding her, not wanting to ruin this tiny precious moment she was giving me. After a minute or so when she started rubbing her cheeks against the material of my shirt, I slowly shifted a little so I can properly gaze down at her, eyes red and swollen, the tip of her nose was pink and with her smooth skin stained with almost dried up tears—and even in this unfortunate time, still, she was the most beautiful thing my eyes ever graced of seeing. Swallowing the heavy lump in the back of my throat, I slowly wiped the remaining wetness that lingered with the pad of my thumb. Deep inside, I was tearful too because I was on the verge of losing her and there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening.
I was a little taken aback when her soft hand reached out to caress my cheek, as if gazing at me with longing. Closing my eyes, I lavished on her touch while my heart cried out for her not to let me go. The intense burning behind my eye sockets made me bob my throat, trying my damnedest not to break into t
ears too. With her hand still in place, she used her thumb to graze my bottom lip. She then whispered the words I vowed to her professing my love, when I eternally entwined her in my very soul, “Mihi es et tibi sum.” You are mine and I am yours.
Her shaky though determined voice was gutting me whole. “Mihi es et tibi sum.” I couldn’t help but shed a tear reiterating what she had just uttered. Remembering the very exact words I told her months ago, I pictured her face behind my closed lids before saying, “I vowed to cherish you. Love you, forever. That’s you, yineka mou.” I choked up before finishing, “I’m yours. Forever I am yours.” Just when I felt the one hot tear slide down my face, I felt her lips press against my face kissing the tear away. She then sought my own, gently pressing her tear glistened puckers. Holding still, she simply didn’t open her mouth to kiss me deeper. Her lips lingered against my own for a minute or so before she used her bottom lip to gradually open my lips, leaving soft feathery kisses before letting out the tip of her tongue, cajoling it to pry its opening, wanting more of it.
Immediately my body responded to her touch and even though I craved to take over like I usually did, I had to restraint myself from doing so because I wanted her to do as she pleased, to take what she wanted without feeling pressured. At the same time, I needed her to know and understand that I was in her possession. That I was hers—eternally hers for as long as she desired.
