CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“So I may be a little difficult to work for.”
—J. STALIN
Dorinda might not have been my partners’ favorite person, but she kept her promise. We stepped through a portal near the entrance to the Round Castle and emerged in the dull gray corridor steps from the featureless office where the forbidding receptionist held sway.
“Hello, Kiki,” Dorinda said, as we entered the gray room.
The receptionist’s face broke into a welcoming smile. She rose and embraced the magician.
“Where have you been, sweetie?” Kiki asked.
Dorinda smiled briefly.
“Hunting. No luck.”
Kiki grimaced. She gestured to the wall where the invisible door lay.
“Go on back. They’re having milk shakes. I’ll bring you some. Strawberry, right?”
“Right,” I said.
They really did know our preferences. We really could not permit Meeger to get possession of their files.
* * *
“How did you know one of the force lines had vanished?” Olk asked, astonished, when Aahz asked him the question.
Aahz took a deep gulp of his milk shake, which had been served in an enormous silver pail.
“Your blackmailer, who is a guy called Meeger, must have cut you off when he saw how much magik you use in a given day. It was his way of putting the screws on you.”
I sipped at mine. Though it was the middle of the night and I had had no sleep, I was wide awake.
“Meeger?” Savva said. She plucked up several threads from the tapestry and consulted them. “From Haren? We know him. He likes his meat very undercooked, almost raw, and he drinks coffee morning, noon, and night. He’s stayed here several times, always on his kingdom’s expense account.”
“Nice work if you can get it. But that’s how he figured out that you must keep records of everybody else’s likes and dislikes. He had access to the Nix Pyx—I can’t tell you how much that name irks me!—and he had motive.”
“Motive? What motive?”
“He’s greedy,” Aahz said. “That’s plenty of motive.”
“Winslow is so vast and complicated that he couldn’t cause as much havoc here without harnessing the force lines,” I said. “I think that’s where he’s using the Nix Pyx.”
“But how do we find that place?” Olk asked.
“Where do your force lines run? Do you have a map, or can someone show me?”
Mannurs pursed his lips. “I am afraid that I only pay attention to the magik when I need it. I rarely seek out the force lines. They’ve always been there. Everything runs so well by itself, we only need to intervene occasionally. Truthfully, it is the visitors who make the greatest use of the magik sources. What about you, Miss Dorinda?”
Our erstwhile associate and prisoner shook her head.
“The ones I’ve been using are the same as when I got here.”
“That would have been after this Meeger began his insidious mayhem, I fear,” Helfa said. “If you are right about what he has done to Winslow, then I have no idea where he or the N—” She glanced at Aahz warily. “—Where the evil cup can be.”
“Have you got a historian or an archivist?” I asked.
“I’m afraid not. The engineers of the system are long gone,” Olk said.
Nurgin raised a quivering finger.
“I . . . I think I remember. I used to lead visitors around our jewel mine. Everybody loves poking around the old stones. We always made sure there were gems to be found, sometimes quite valuable ones, I might add. We, er, salted the mine by using a line of force that came right up the middle of the main street from out of the countryside, well past the safari camp, I believe.”
“I’ve seen that one,” I said. “Blue and wavy.”
“No, my friend,” Nurgin said, with a smile, “that’s the small one!”
“The small one?” Aahz asked, disbelievingly. “Where did the old one lead?”
“It angled off into the hills. Always thought of it as a magik river. Brilliant white, sparkly, refreshing to draw from. Eh . . .” Nurgin paused and put his bony forefinger to his temple. “I’m rather surprised I hadn’t thought of it being gone. As you say, the blue line is quite vigorous. But I don’t get out much anymore.”
“White is spirit magik,” Aahz said. “The rarest of the five magikal elements.”
“How can you block a force line?” I asked. “I thought it was a natural feature.”
“Same way you’d dam a river,” Aahz said. “But I never met the magician who could do it. I knew a guy who wrote his dissertation on diverting or damming force lines, but the professors thought he was delusional. He got laughed out of the university. I felt sorry for the guy. He ended up selling sports equipment in a small town in Perv.”
“The empty force line sounds like the place for us to start,” I said.
“Can you stop Meeger?” Olk asked.
“I think if we find the source, we’ll locate the enemy,” Aahz said.
“Will you let me help?” Dorinda asked.
“I . . . I . . .” I found it hard to talk to her when I looked her in the eyes.
“Yes,” said Markie. “You can help if you shut up and follow instructions.”
Dorinda’s lovely eyes sparked, but she shut up.
“All right,” I said. “Nurgin, can you lead us to where the line used to run?”
The elder councilor rose.
“It would be my pleasure,” he said.
To my surprise, once he was on his feet, the seemingly feeble Winslovak moved so swiftly I almost had to run to keep up. He took us through the nearby door that led to the spot near the Round Castle.
We emerged into the sunny morning. I stretched my arms to ease the tiredness in my back. I yawned. So did the others.
“Let me help,” Dorinda said. She put her forefingers to my temples. I stared into her lovely eyes. To my amazement, the weariness fled. She turned to the others.
“No, thanks,” Markie said. “I don’t want anything from you.”
“All right,” Dorinda said, trying not to look hurt.
“Nice day for a walk,” Aahz said. “Let’s go.”
“This way,” Nurgin said. He began to walk up the main street toward the distant hills. We hadn’t even passed our residence when an evil presence appeared in our midst.
BAMF!
Looie glared from one of us to another.
“Well?” he demanded. “Where’s my cup?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“There’s more than one way out of a bad situation.”
—G. GYGAX
Bunny lifted her chin. Hastily, I threw the seductive princess image on her. I not only lowered her neckline, but I hid the signs of our sleepless night behind magikal makeup. She strode up to Looie and looked him in the eye.
“We haven’t got it. Yet. It’s early! We weren’t expecting you until later on!”
The little man clenched his fists and jumped up and down on the ground.
“Not good enough! I need it now!”
Aahz growled at him.
“Do you see a cup? It’s not here. We still have to get it. Understand? We don’t have it yet!”
Looie poked a finger into Aahz’s chest.
“All of you are fired! I want my money back! The delegates are back at the table, and they’re fighting just like before. Without that cup, my kingdom is doomed!”
“We have bigger problems than you right now,” Aahz said.
“There is no bigger problem than me!” Looie yelled. His face was red, and his eyes bulged.
“This entire dimension is coming to pieces,” I explained.
“I don’t care! My kingdom may fall because all of you”—he swept an accusatory forefinger around in an
arc, ending on Dorinda—“have failed me!”
“I am so sorry, Your Grace,” Dorinda said. “I have put forth every effort and am still trying to fulfill your quest. Believe me!”
“And for nothing, it would seem! You’re dismissed. Go on.” Looie flicked his fingers at her. “Get out of here.”
I was torn. We had promised Looie, but this dimension was at stake, and we were Winslow’s only hope. I also felt sorry for Dorinda.
“Don’t send her away. We need her,” I said. “Your cup might be in the middle of the problem with Winslow. Dorinda brought us some valuable information. We think we know where it is now. We need a little time to follow this lead.”
“I don’t care! You’ve had four days to find it!” He waved an angry hand at Dorinda. “She has had far longer! You are all wasting my time. I will have to try other means to save my land.” He turned to glare at Aahz. “My deposit, Pervert.”
“I might have returned it if you had addressed me correctly,” Aahz said, in a low, dangerous voice. “But now you can go scratch for it. Consider it the cost of doing business. We have better things to do for clients who appreciate us. You hired M.Y.T.H., Inc., but you never trusted us to do the job correctly.”
“But I need the cup! I need it now!” Looie exclaimed. He jabbed a finger behind him. “I have a tableful of delegates who all hate each other deciding how to divide up my kingdom! The two ringleaders are already at one another’s throats!”
“We can’t give you what we haven’t got,” Bunny said.
Looie grabbed her by the wrist.
“Then you can explain it to my king,” Looie said. He shook back his sleeve to reveal the thick bracelets on his wrist.
“Hold one moment, please,” Chumley said, plucking the gem from Looie’s arm. The duke stared at him.
“Wait, the purple toupee can talk?”
“Indubitably,” Chumley said, straightening his pince-nez. “It seems to me that there are two problems here: the missing cup, and your diplomatic impasse. I believe we can solve your second problem.”
“Who’s we?” Looie demanded, glaring at the Troll.
“My little sis and me.” Chumley put his arm around Tananda’s shoulders. Looie looked from Troll to Trollop with disbelief on his face.
“What? Are you some sort of comedy double act?”
“Not since primary school. I am quite serious. Under my nom de paix, Lord Wat-es-et, I have been an emissary from Her Majesty Queen Suzal of the Kingdom of Aegis to other lands in the dimension of Ghordon.7 Little Sis, if you could just pop home and get my credentials . . .”
“No problem,” Tananda said, with a wink. She vanished and reappeared in seconds with a carved stone tablet. She tossed it to her brother. Chumley caught it and presented it to Looie.
“A testimonial to my skills,” he said. Looie scanned the stone document, unimpressed. He threw it to one side. Tananda caught it before it hit the ground.
“So what?” Looie asked. Chumley cleared his throat.
“So, since you have had little success, I offer myself, as part of M.Y.T.H., Inc.’s comprehensive service in the cause of peace, to negotiate on your behalf until such time as the Loving Cup can be located. My sister is also an expert at putting disparate individuals at their ease—or temporarily neutralizing them until I can deal with them.”
Bunny put a silken hand on his arm and ran a finger down the side of his florid face.
“What about it, Looie?” she asked. She fluttered her eyelashes. “Chumley is really very skilled. He can tear their arms off if they won’t negotiate properly.”
Looie wavered visibly. He gulped.
“Whoo,” Dorinda murmured to me. “She’s good.”
“The best,” I said, with pride.
Looie didn’t like it, but he was overwhelmed by logic and desperation. He threw up his hands.
“All right! But I’m staying here! I want the cup in my hands as soon as possible!”
Chumley was unconcerned. “Might go better if you’re not there, what?” he said. “But you’ll need to introduce us.”
“All right!” Looie snatched the bracelet back from Chumley’s large fingers. “Come on!”
BAMF! BAMF!
Looie, Chumley, and Tananda disappeared. In moments, Looie returned to the same spot alone. He glared at us.
“All right. Let’s get my cup back!”
“Not you,” I said. “You’re not coming.”
“What?” Looie asked. His eyes bulged out so far I thought they might pop out of their sockets.
Bunny undulated subtly. I made the silk dress in which I had clad her shimmer over her bosom and hips.
“You have to stay here with me,” she said, dropping her voice to a low coo. “You’re too important to put yourself at risk.”
Looie glared at her, an ugly combination with the perpetual leer he wore whenever he looked at Bunny.
“Risk? This is a resort!”
Bunny leaned close to him. “I didn’t want to say this where anyone else could hear, but you were wise to hire us. There’s a rogue magician on the loose.”
Looie’s eyebrows rose.
“Powerful?”
“Powerful enough to keep us away from your cup all this time. But now that we have teamed up with one of your other agents, we know where to look and how to get it back. In the meantime, I made us a reservation at Le Snoot. They have a special table waiting for us.” Bunny lowered her eyelashes suggestively. “It’s very private.”
“Hmmph!” Looie was temporarily mollified. He jerked his head toward the rest of us. “Are you sure they can get the Loving Cup now?”
“I promise you, the next time you see them, they will have the cup.” Behind her back, Bunny crossed her fingers.
“Good. Then tell them to get moving.”
Bunny fluttered dismissive fingertips at us. I didn’t mind. I was worried about keeping that promise she had just made.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
—D. LIVINGSTONE
With a wave of his hand, Nurgin changed from his long robes into walking clothes. His blue pipestem legs stuck out like the points of a compass from his knee-length shorts, and his skinny neck barely held up his balding head. His feeble appearance was deceptive, though. He had led us several miles out of the manicured part of the resort and into a well-kept but steadily thickening forest. My energy was beginning to flag after the first five miles, but he just kept moving along at the same steady if slow pace. I firmly believed that my legs would give out before his did. Markie floated on air beside me, preferring not to walk.
“Aren’t you worried about running out of magik?” I asked.
“I have enough to float all the way across this dimension and still fight sea monsters,” she said. “My capacity to store magik is a little higher than yours, and I’ve been trained to use power a little more efficiently, from what I’ve seen of you in action. Not that you’re bad for a Klahd. I’ll come visit sometime and teach you a few techniques.”
“I’d appreciate it,” I said. I never thought about the difference in how large a supply one magician or another could retain. From what my friends said, it sounded like part of it depended on what dimension you came from, but part of it was training.
The forest was like the rest of Winslow: well maintained, slightly unreal, and beautiful. The trees arched over our heads in a canopy of green and gold. A hundred different kinds of colorful little birds flew from branch to branch, singing. Even the undergrowth looked manicured. Among the thousands of bushes and shrubs, I never saw a dead branch or thorns that could reach out and snag a rambler’s clothing. As we went farther and farther from the main street, the plants grew more tropical in nature. The leaves broadened and thickened, and vines wound up the boles of the trees. The flowers went from fo
rest pastels to vivid jungle hues. We were walking parallel to the footpath. I spotted a sign that stood about eye level for the safari camp. I heard trumpeting in the distance. I wondered what kind of animal made that noise.
“I remember the magik rushing underneath my feet like a river,” Nurgin said to Dorinda, who was walking beside him, listening attentively. “I know it went through here. If you try, you might be able to feel the edges of where it used to be.”
“How?” I asked, striding to catch up with him. “If a line of force is dead, doesn’t it just disappear?”
“Not at all, partner,” Aahz said. He stumped along behind Nurgin, while Gleep and Haroon ran up and back, sniffing the ground all around us. “Think of it like a streambed if the water’s been diverted. Magik leaves a trace where it’s been.”
Dorinda wrinkled her nose and peered around. “I think I see an edge on that side,” she said, pointing at the ground. “A long way underground. But it’s the opposite of what I thought I would see. There are faint touches of power outside the line, not inside it.”
I tried to see, not with my eyes but with my mind. I thought I perceived what she was talking about. In fact, when we came upon a huge oval boulder in the middle of the path, I distinctly saw the “stream” part on both sides of the part of the monolith that lay buried, leaving a pointed delta behind the giant rock.
“I can follow that,” I said. In fact, I had often hunted along empty riverbeds in Klah because the animals used them as roads. My fellow Klahds usually ignored them, but they were better paths than we made. “It’s an absence of magik.”
“That’s right, that’s what I see,” Dorinda said. She raised eager eyes to me. “I think we’ve got it.”
I smiled at her. I liked being with her. I only wish it hadn’t been under those circumstances.
“Now, all we have to do is follow it to the blockage, whatever Meeger has set up to prevent the magik from flowing, and uncork it.”
“If he isn’t sitting there waiting for us,” Aahz said sourly. “Any blackmailer worth the price of the stamp on his letters will set traps and alarms to protect his insurance.”
Robert Asprin's Myth-Fits Page 24
